Internal conflict
Duking it out with my inner child, whom I've dubbed Jeshkeshka.
Me: Okay, it's time to do work now.
J: *...sniff...*
Me: What is it?
J: Nobody likes me...
Me: Shut up. What about your girlfriend who called this morning? And your friends who you played video games with this afternoon? And your other friend who studied with you last night? And your other friend who wants you to join his band? And your other friend who would like to drink vodka with you as soon as you get all your work done?
J: I want candy!
Me: I have a stomachache from all the candy you've been eating today. No more chocolate now. Study now.
J: I want a soda.
Me: We had one this afternoon already. You're dehydrated, you need water.
J: ...I'M FAT! *cries*
Me: What the hell is it with you today? First you're lonely, then you're hungry, then you think you're fat. Which is it? Tell me, you little punk, or I'll sock you in the jaw.
J: I hate you.
Me: Well, I hate you too.
J: I hate you more!
Me: Fine!
J: Fine!
It's not been a very productive day thus far.