I don't even know anymore
[ my name is ] : Michelle Anne
[ in the morning I am ] : tired, annoyed
[ all I need is ] : diet coke & friends
[ love is ] : priceless.
[ I'm afraid of ] : dying alone
[ I dream about ] : random things
- W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R -
[ coke or pepsi ] : coke
[ flowers or candy ] : flowers, candy makes me fat
[ tall or short ] : tall, that way they can rech things for me
- W I T H . T H E . O P P O S I T E . S E X -
[ what do you notice first ] : hair and eyes
[ do you believe in love at first sight ] : nope
- W H O -
[ makes you laugh the most ] : Chelsea
[ makes you smile ] : all of my friends, or they wouldn't be my friends
[ gives you a funny feeling when you see them ] : no one
[ has a crush on you ] : no one that I know of
[ do you find easiest to talk to ] : Chelsea
- D O . Y O U . E V E R -
[ sit online all day and wait for someone to IM you ] : NO! who told you?!
[ save aol/aim conversations ] : sometimes
[ wish you were a member of the opposite sex ] : when I was little yeah
- W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N -
[ you talked to on the phone ] : Joey
[ hugged ] : Roy
[ you instant messaged ] : Chelsea
[ you laughed with ] : Chelsea, Liz and Roy
- D O . Y O U -
[ color your hair ] all the time
[ ever get off the damn computer ] : hell no
[ habla espanol ] : ¿el gato est un fuego?
- D O . Y O U / / A R E . Y O U -
[ smoke cigarettes ] : nope
[ capable of living without the computer ] : probably, I'd get pretty bored though
[ what's your favorite food ] : chocolate, pizza, peanut butter
[ what's your favorite fruit ] : green apples
[ drink alcohol ] : very occasionally
[ like watching sunrises or sunsets ] : sunsets, sunrises are too early to see
[ what hurts the most, physical pain or emotional pain? ] emotional
[ trust others way too easy ] : I can be a far too trusting (as we all learned this week)
- N U M B E R -
[ of times I had my heart broken ] : twice
[ of hearts I have broken ] : noe that I know of
[ of boys I have kissed ] : three
[ of girls I have kissed ] : one
[ of continents I have lived in ] : one, unless you count a week as "living in"
[ of drugs taken illegally ] : none
[ of tight friends ] : more than I thought I did before this week that's for sure
[ of CDs that I own ] : 300+
[ of scars on my body ] : 2 on my legs from winterguard, 1 on my wrist from winterguard (that makes me look like I cut) and 1 on my hand from the milkshake machine at the Loop so that's...4 right?
[ of things in my past that I regret ] : too many
I KNOW: that you are a baboon, and I'm not.
I HAVE: a sore neck
I WISH: I had a boyfriend
I HATE: stupid people
I MISS: certain people
I FEAR: dying alone.
I HEAR: Matchbox 20
I REGRET: somethings that have been done
I LOVE: to read
I ACHE: in my back
I CARE: about evryone
I ALWAYS: drink 5 diet cokes a day
I AM NOT: ok with my life right now
I DANCE: around my house
I SING: alone in my car
I DO NOT ALWAYS: say what I mean
I WRITE: stories that no one will ever read
I WIN: never
I LOSE: to Chelsea
I GET CONFUSED: when my emotions get fucked with by friends
I LISTEN: when I have nothing to say
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: with Chelsea & Liz
I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT: this past week
I AM HAPPY ABOUT: the number of friends that have stood up for me this week
I've thought a lot about things this past week, and as much as it hurts, in a way it's better now. (can you tell I'm still trying to convince myself?) I've had more people call me and tell me that they're my friends no matter what then I'd have thought possible, so that's good. But it still hurts. See, more often then not I would end up with my head getting fucked with when I was around James. One minute I was his best friend, the next I was some chick that he bumped into. It was the little things that he'd say or do that kinda chipped away at me until this last one, that just made me crumble. I know that sounds horribly emo but, I've lost so many friends. They say that it's part of getting older but if it is, than I'd like to stop now please. It's really making me question how much more I can take. First the whole drama with my father, my lack of a personal life and now this inablity to open up to anyone that has resurfaced itself. I'm fucking sick of it. I wish that I was heartless sometimes. I wish that I could just close myself off but it doesn't work. I'm too damn nice. With an awful judge of character. People who can close themselves off are my heros....