I  got a freaking    A  in the IDS course I just finished this week!!!!
Score --- at least my hard work, fights with Derek, and stress were worth something.

I actually feel accomplished for the first time in a LONG time.

Now, time to continue moving home to be with the parents... 

 Moving blows.

I'm BACK!!! And I bring pictures....

but now, sleep.......

My days are and will continue to be a blur sounds from random episodes of
Home Improvement, Snapped, Arthur, Full House, and the Soup. 
I love being lazy and spending time cuddling in bed.

I'm angry that assholes are stealing my money though.
And perhaps my bank is even in on the fraud.
Not cool at all. 
Yeah, its only 11 dollars, but that 11 dollars was ( Read more... )

Derek and I always seem to fight when we don't have the time to makeup. 
Which pisses me off to no end.

I got Shadow's ashes back yesterday.

I WILL have a good day though, if it kills me --- or whoever gets in my way. 

I live a lie.

and thats okay.

Today was good. 
I'm finally done, for a week or so. 
My parents are going out of town...
I have so many thoughts racing through my head.
SO many pieces of news I've found out in the last few days, 
its hard to comprehend. 
I really look forward to the next few days of rest and relaxation.

Maybe ill venture out alone.

<3

Shadow was put to sleep around 11:15 am this morning at Harmony Animal Hospital in Jupiter, FL.
Derek, my mother, my father, and I were all present.
His remains will be cremated privately and will be returned to my family within the next few weeks.
I intend to have his ashes made into a diamond, put into a pendant or scattered over my family's pond ( Read more... )

I have an appointment to put Shadow down tomorrow at 11am.


( Read more... )

meh.

I wish I didn't feel like everyone in my life is angry, disappointed or let down by me.
It doesn't make it any easier for me to get better.
In fact, it makes me want to never leave my room again.

I'm not a bad person.
I just want to be able to breathe again.