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Things happen
In a life, in any life, bad things happen. Many good things happen, of course, we know what they are-joy, tenderness, success, beauty- but some bad things happen as well. Sometimes, very bad things happen. Children sicken and die. People we love don't love us, can never love us. Sons die, needles in their gangrenous arms, no matter how fathers ( Read more... ) -
der bloße Gedanke daran
Sunday night I was laying in my bed and just overwhelmed with all the criticisms that I have been receiving and how it has been effecting my life. "You're too skinny, you don't smile anymore, you're not happy, you shouldn't be smoking (which I know just been stressed to the max daily)" my past, too, was brought up, which I say fuck that too. I am ( Read more... ) -
I'm holding on
A couple of months ago I thought to myself that if my relationship ended I will be okay, I know and believe we will be friends. Last night it did end. His voice, his eyes, his words all told me that this was the last thing he ever wanted to do. He tore himself apart, but he needed to just so he could get all that is in his head all figured out, so ( Read more... ) -
Bags
What do you do if you have two friends (well one almost ex-friend) killing themselves? Last night one almost literally did in front of my best friend (her ex-boyfriend). I cannot stop crying, I can't stop thinking about the way that Axel was talking to me last night, the way he showed barely any emotion, but yet he knew she needed his help. I want ( Read more... ) -
leaving it behind
I have finally got out of the circle that I was in for about four years. I don't regret any bit or piece of it. I was in love, I cared for him, I thought about the possibility of marrying him. When things were looking good then did a one-hundred eighty flip, I could never stand the way I was being shut out. I hate not knowing what is going on with ( Read more... ) -
Never thought
Back a couple of years, my mom was crying in the kitchen. What I heard was heartbreaking, "God please take me away, I can't do this anymore. I am tired, nothing is going right, take your servant ( Read more... ) -
ich fuehle
My head feels so clouded I don't know what is going on. I am in so much pain and discomfort it's getting ridiculous.. I took so many of my drugs and I still felt like I was going to cry ( Read more... ) -
V-day..
This was the first year since freshmen year in high school I didn't have a boyfriend. It sucked, I set myself up for a disappointment that's for sure. All I wanted was a but of cuddling, got sex, but by far isn't the same.
Last week I was so happy, this week I don't know what it is. Maybe it was my unwanted Organic test I didn't want to take, maybe ( Read more... ) -
broken humerus story
I was up at Cascade boarding with David and we were playing follow the leader. He went off a jump, I followed, there was a pipe rail, he 50-50 it, I went to boardslide, went to land slipped out but the first thing to land was my arm straight and everything. I heard a SNAP, landed on my butt thought i grabbed my arm, yelled for David over and over ( Read more... )
