(no subject)
The McRib is back!
Everybody knows the McRib. Whether or not you've actually eaten a McRib is another story. The font of knowledge that is Wikipedia informs me that the McRib was launched by McDonald's in 1981. It tested well in the Midwest and was added to the permanent menu. For reasons unknown to this day, it was removed from the permanent menu and now only surfaces in seemingly random sales periods in various markets. It's like a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a sandwich.
I recall having a McRib sandwich when I was young. Possibly as young as Kindergarten, but it may have been closer to 1st or 2nd grade. The details are kind of fuzzy, but I remember going out with my Mom and stopping at a McDonald's and being intrigued by the picture of the strange, rectangular sandwich with the pickles and onions sticking out of it. So I ordered one, and I remember liking it. Even as a young man I knew there was something strange about a boneless "rib" sandwich, but I guess the strangeness is part of its allure.
Anyway, I haven't had a McRib since then. So I was walking to Duty Muster today and passed the McDonald's on base. The McRib is in full effect out here on the west coast, with a blitz of TV and radio ads, not to mention the massive signage in front of the store heralding the return of the thing like it was the second coming of Jebus himself. I seemed to remember liking the sandwich, so I figured what the hell, let's give it another shot! Bring on the McRib! So I ordered it up, opened the bag, unwrapped the alleged "sandwich" and this is what I find:
Yeah, I had to take a picture of THAT. I was the only person eating in the place and it came straight out of the kitchen, into the bag and on to my table. I wasn't playing monkey-in-the-middle with the bag out in the parking lot. I wasn't chased by a flock of seagulls trying to kill me and eat my french fries. I opened up the wrapper and was greeted by that monstrosity. Or would that be a McStrosity?
Let's begin by talking about the mess. I know it's supposed to be a saucy sandwich, but c'mon! Don't make it impossible to handle with long sleeves on. That's just ridiculous. And the size...it was pretty small, even for a McDonald's sandwich. Not that I wanted to eat a single bite more of that thing by the time it was over with, but still. The whole thing tasted like a piece of chewy bread soaked overnight in generic barbecue sauce. Most of the onions had skin on them...plain old raw onions. The pickles weren't outright offensive, but they didn't taste like anything anyway thanks to the fact that they were saturated in onions and sauce. And the meat, what isn't there to say about the meat? Why do we need this? Who loves ribs so much that they want to see them processed and molded into a strange rectangle of gray meat? I mean, if you LOVED ribs, you'd be AGAINST this sandwich! It's an affront to good cooking the world over! LOOK AT THAT THING!!!
In the end, I ate the McRib. I was hungry and I'd already paid for it, and besides, the story wouldn't be complete if I didn't seal the deal, so to speak. The sandwich was edible. I mean, I ate it, right? But it wasn't good. In fact, it was gross. The onions and pickles were lost in the sea of sauce and the "meat" is something more disturbing than the gray stuff inside of a Gyro. I'm sorry McRib, but you need to go back where you came from. Stick with the Midwest!
BONUS MCDONALD'S FUN FACT:::
If you've recently been waiting at a fast food counter you've probably heard that 'beep beep beep' that lets the workers know somebody is waiting for their food in the drive-through. Well this McDonald's on base does things a little differently! Instead of the standard beeping, their drive-through monitor plays the little two-note Theme from Jaws! "Dun-uh, Dun-uh, Dun-uh!" And it gets faster as more time passes! As if to say, IF YOU DON'T GET THESE CHEESEBURGERS INTO THAT VAN RIGHT NOW, JAWS IS GOING TO EAT THOSE KIDS!!!!!
Everybody knows the McRib. Whether or not you've actually eaten a McRib is another story. The font of knowledge that is Wikipedia informs me that the McRib was launched by McDonald's in 1981. It tested well in the Midwest and was added to the permanent menu. For reasons unknown to this day, it was removed from the permanent menu and now only surfaces in seemingly random sales periods in various markets. It's like a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a sandwich.
I recall having a McRib sandwich when I was young. Possibly as young as Kindergarten, but it may have been closer to 1st or 2nd grade. The details are kind of fuzzy, but I remember going out with my Mom and stopping at a McDonald's and being intrigued by the picture of the strange, rectangular sandwich with the pickles and onions sticking out of it. So I ordered one, and I remember liking it. Even as a young man I knew there was something strange about a boneless "rib" sandwich, but I guess the strangeness is part of its allure.
Anyway, I haven't had a McRib since then. So I was walking to Duty Muster today and passed the McDonald's on base. The McRib is in full effect out here on the west coast, with a blitz of TV and radio ads, not to mention the massive signage in front of the store heralding the return of the thing like it was the second coming of Jebus himself. I seemed to remember liking the sandwich, so I figured what the hell, let's give it another shot! Bring on the McRib! So I ordered it up, opened the bag, unwrapped the alleged "sandwich" and this is what I find:
Yeah, I had to take a picture of THAT. I was the only person eating in the place and it came straight out of the kitchen, into the bag and on to my table. I wasn't playing monkey-in-the-middle with the bag out in the parking lot. I wasn't chased by a flock of seagulls trying to kill me and eat my french fries. I opened up the wrapper and was greeted by that monstrosity. Or would that be a McStrosity?
Let's begin by talking about the mess. I know it's supposed to be a saucy sandwich, but c'mon! Don't make it impossible to handle with long sleeves on. That's just ridiculous. And the size...it was pretty small, even for a McDonald's sandwich. Not that I wanted to eat a single bite more of that thing by the time it was over with, but still. The whole thing tasted like a piece of chewy bread soaked overnight in generic barbecue sauce. Most of the onions had skin on them...plain old raw onions. The pickles weren't outright offensive, but they didn't taste like anything anyway thanks to the fact that they were saturated in onions and sauce. And the meat, what isn't there to say about the meat? Why do we need this? Who loves ribs so much that they want to see them processed and molded into a strange rectangle of gray meat? I mean, if you LOVED ribs, you'd be AGAINST this sandwich! It's an affront to good cooking the world over! LOOK AT THAT THING!!!
In the end, I ate the McRib. I was hungry and I'd already paid for it, and besides, the story wouldn't be complete if I didn't seal the deal, so to speak. The sandwich was edible. I mean, I ate it, right? But it wasn't good. In fact, it was gross. The onions and pickles were lost in the sea of sauce and the "meat" is something more disturbing than the gray stuff inside of a Gyro. I'm sorry McRib, but you need to go back where you came from. Stick with the Midwest!
BONUS MCDONALD'S FUN FACT:::
If you've recently been waiting at a fast food counter you've probably heard that 'beep beep beep' that lets the workers know somebody is waiting for their food in the drive-through. Well this McDonald's on base does things a little differently! Instead of the standard beeping, their drive-through monitor plays the little two-note Theme from Jaws! "Dun-uh, Dun-uh, Dun-uh!" And it gets faster as more time passes! As if to say, IF YOU DON'T GET THESE CHEESEBURGERS INTO THAT VAN RIGHT NOW, JAWS IS GOING TO EAT THOSE KIDS!!!!!