The Rules of Being Arch Nemeses
So ariastar and I were talking about the Doctor/Master dynamic in Doctor Who, and we kind of accidentally came up with this. Not actually confined to Doctor Who fandom, either. Feel free to suggest your own!
1. No killing each other.
1a. If you resurrect the other afterwards it still violates Rule 1.
2. No killing friends, lovers, or travelling companions.
2a. Unless they turn out to be evil.
2b. 'Evil' does not mean 'I don't like them.'
3. Proposals to "rule the universe at my side" are acceptable.
3a. Agreeing to said proposals is not.
4. Mortal peril by proxy is acceptable (i.e. making evil alliances).
4a. However, allowing the evil allies to kill the other violates Rule 1.
5. Truces to avoid the unpleasant demise of both parties are acceptable.
5a. But only for such time until said unpleasant demise has been avoided.
6. Mind altering substances are acceptable.
6a. Sex drugs are not.
6b. We will never speak of this again.
7. Any marriages made under duress are null and void.
7a. Or under the influence.
7b. 6b!
8. No body swapping.
8a. Not permanently, at least.
8b. NO SEX WHILE BODYSWAPPED. WITH ANYONE.
9. Destroying the world/universe/space-time continuum effectively ends the game. Don't do it.
9a. Or at least make sure there's a reset button.
9b. Or an available parallel universe.
10. I will not allow someone else to destroy the world/universe/space-time continuum. See Rule 5 and Rule 9.
11. Wearing a disguise to avoid early detection is allowed.
11a. Not seeing through the disguise eventually is just offensive and implies a lack of emotional investment in the proceedings.
12. Time travel is acceptable.
12a. I understand that preventing the other's existence will result in a temporal paradox and I will also cease to exist.
12b. Temporal paradoxes are a bitch.
13. NO CLONES.
14. Games of chess/mind games/swordfights/chance for the fate of the kingdom/world/universe are acceptable.
14a. So long as nobody loses a limb.
15. Trying to tempt someone with their deepest desires is a two-edged sword.
15a. 6b!
16. I will always keep open the possibility of redemption.
16a. If only to fuck with people's heads.
17. I will readily admit to having once been friends with my archnemesis.
17a. But it was such a long time ago that it has no bearing whatsoever on the nefarious events happening presently.
18. I will not invoke past failures and emotional traumas of my arch-nemesis unless I am prepared to have him do the same to me.
18a. I am allowed to utilise my knowledge of these issues in order to foil him.
18b. I will make sure he is very aware of this. It's no fun to use someone's secrets against them unless they know you're doing it.
19. I will not wait until my arch-nemesis is already weakened before I attack him. This takes away all sporting fun.
19a. Unless I am the cause of this weakness in the first place, in which case it is my right and privilege to take as much advantage of him as possible.
20. I understand that using phrases like "You'll never stop me now!" and "I am invincible!" is a direct challenge to the universe to prove otherwise.
20a. Conversely, "You'll never get away with this!" ensures that I will at least get to try.
21. I will make extremely sure I know what winning is, so that when I gloat I will not look stupid about it.
21a. Dying but managing to make my arch-nemesis cry is not winning.
21b. Barely getting away, intact dignity optional, probably doesn't count either, but at least it means I get another go.
22. I will only explain my plan at the last possible moment-- my arch nemesis is the only one who can appreciate how brilliant I am, but that's no excuse to hand him a getaway on a silver platter. He should have to work for it.
23. I am allowed to get a naive girlfriend/wife.
23a. Especially if she is in some way emotionally important to my arch-nemesis.
23b. Or even if she's no one special but it makes him jealous anyway.
24. If I build a castle/labyrinth/spaceship of death, it will always have a back door through which I can easily escape when my arch nemesis shows up to stop me.
24a. Of course this means he can use it too, but it's better than getting killed and/or eaten.
Entry is public because ariastar wanted to link to it and our flists are not entirely the same.
1. No killing each other.
1a. If you resurrect the other afterwards it still violates Rule 1.
2. No killing friends, lovers, or travelling companions.
2a. Unless they turn out to be evil.
2b. 'Evil' does not mean 'I don't like them.'
3. Proposals to "rule the universe at my side" are acceptable.
3a. Agreeing to said proposals is not.
4. Mortal peril by proxy is acceptable (i.e. making evil alliances).
4a. However, allowing the evil allies to kill the other violates Rule 1.
5. Truces to avoid the unpleasant demise of both parties are acceptable.
5a. But only for such time until said unpleasant demise has been avoided.
6. Mind altering substances are acceptable.
6a. Sex drugs are not.
6b. We will never speak of this again.
7. Any marriages made under duress are null and void.
7a. Or under the influence.
7b. 6b!
8. No body swapping.
8a. Not permanently, at least.
8b. NO SEX WHILE BODYSWAPPED. WITH ANYONE.
9. Destroying the world/universe/space-time continuum effectively ends the game. Don't do it.
9a. Or at least make sure there's a reset button.
9b. Or an available parallel universe.
10. I will not allow someone else to destroy the world/universe/space-time continuum. See Rule 5 and Rule 9.
11. Wearing a disguise to avoid early detection is allowed.
11a. Not seeing through the disguise eventually is just offensive and implies a lack of emotional investment in the proceedings.
12. Time travel is acceptable.
12a. I understand that preventing the other's existence will result in a temporal paradox and I will also cease to exist.
12b. Temporal paradoxes are a bitch.
13. NO CLONES.
14. Games of chess/mind games/swordfights/chance for the fate of the kingdom/world/universe are acceptable.
14a. So long as nobody loses a limb.
15. Trying to tempt someone with their deepest desires is a two-edged sword.
15a. 6b!
16. I will always keep open the possibility of redemption.
16a. If only to fuck with people's heads.
17. I will readily admit to having once been friends with my archnemesis.
17a. But it was such a long time ago that it has no bearing whatsoever on the nefarious events happening presently.
18. I will not invoke past failures and emotional traumas of my arch-nemesis unless I am prepared to have him do the same to me.
18a. I am allowed to utilise my knowledge of these issues in order to foil him.
18b. I will make sure he is very aware of this. It's no fun to use someone's secrets against them unless they know you're doing it.
19. I will not wait until my arch-nemesis is already weakened before I attack him. This takes away all sporting fun.
19a. Unless I am the cause of this weakness in the first place, in which case it is my right and privilege to take as much advantage of him as possible.
20. I understand that using phrases like "You'll never stop me now!" and "I am invincible!" is a direct challenge to the universe to prove otherwise.
20a. Conversely, "You'll never get away with this!" ensures that I will at least get to try.
21. I will make extremely sure I know what winning is, so that when I gloat I will not look stupid about it.
21a. Dying but managing to make my arch-nemesis cry is not winning.
21b. Barely getting away, intact dignity optional, probably doesn't count either, but at least it means I get another go.
22. I will only explain my plan at the last possible moment-- my arch nemesis is the only one who can appreciate how brilliant I am, but that's no excuse to hand him a getaway on a silver platter. He should have to work for it.
23. I am allowed to get a naive girlfriend/wife.
23a. Especially if she is in some way emotionally important to my arch-nemesis.
23b. Or even if she's no one special but it makes him jealous anyway.
24. If I build a castle/labyrinth/spaceship of death, it will always have a back door through which I can easily escape when my arch nemesis shows up to stop me.
24a. Of course this means he can use it too, but it's better than getting killed and/or eaten.
Entry is public because ariastar wanted to link to it and our flists are not entirely the same.