it seems like your life is as dissapointing as mine, you feel like you are really following God's will and you are really supposed to go somewhere and it doesnt work out, I know things will get better for the both of us, but there is nothing wrong with being sad and extremely dissappointed for a while just dont stay there too long. take care.
there obviously is a reason you didnt get to go, its hard to see it now, but im sure in a year or two you'll understand why this happened, I know its hard to hear it when you had your heart set on doing something but I know this for sure, think if you went and your life was half as shitty as mine has been you would have wished you didnt go. So maybe it is a blessing in disguise.
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-katrina
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