today my mother and steve left for buffalo.
today i found thirty dollars outside the gym while smoking a ciggeratte with joe.
today i took steves car and kidnapped caityBAY, we went driving around seaford till dark.
today i felt stupid.

today i came to the conclusion:

i have two real friends these days.

...and ones my boyfriend.

what i would give to funnel a six pack of natty, you know like the old days, right now.

god only knows.

this is fucking lovely.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW THE ERRIE CANALLLLLL EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

MWAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

i.
need.
tracy.
t.
hold.
my.
hand.

i hate myself, i really do sometimes.
words mean fucking shit to me right now.
im sorry.

I realized that their are things that I just don't talk about.
I just let it manifest inside and bury it; And only on days like today, do they come up in my throat.
They leave me questioning the point of human emotion and heart.

last night was alot of fun.

i have the flu, or something now.

i miss eddie so much.

i hate staying home.
maybe i will go out with twin tonight.

mr, look at your girl.
shes loving it.
i can see it in her eyes.
she hopes it last forever.

<3