Bro's before Ho's (2/2)

[polkapokkydot]

Part II

The start of the school semester couldn't get any worse. Already, Yixing's been late to all his morning classes, and he's gotten lost on school campus more than twice (even though Luhan had traced the directions with infinite care beforehand). It's a really bad start; That and also the fact that he simply stopped talking to Yifan ever since Sehun's last big party before the Fall semester. He honestly didn't want to associate with him for the moment but it still makes Yixing feel extremely empty.

But that day, when he went home earlier because he was tired, he really did not expect to see both his best friend and his crush making out like there was no tomorrow. If Yixing decided to stay a little longer at Sehun's place, then he was sure they wouldn't have stopped. And this is what hurts the most, the knowledge that maybe they would have done it regardless of his feelings.

Yixing knows it's unfair, he really does, but it hurts a lot to think that your love interest may get with the one person you've trusted all your life. It's a shame, really, because Yixing knows better than to put love and all related sentiments in between what he has with Yifan.

What he shares with Yifan, he knows it's something special. It's something that transcends time, it's unconditional, it's real. And now he feels like he's been wronged, but he knows he won't be able to keep up this silent treatment he's forced Yifan to suffer from. It's the sadistic part of him, he guesses, at seeing Yifan's guilt ridden face every time he walks away to avoid him.

For now, it's fine. Yixing tells himself this as he sees Yifan sitting in the far corner on the back in one of their many shared classes. Yixing makes sure to sit up front, not once glancing back during the whole of the lecture.

Everything's just so wrong. Nothing makes sense anymore and Yifan feels like a complete and utter coward.

"Hey, cheer up." Luhan hits at his back, pushing him away from where he's lying on the long sofa. His cheerful friend sits on his calves, flipping a book that probably weights more than the latter does. "You need to go out."

"Don't want to." Yifan mumbles into the pillow, rubbing his face at the soft fabric. It doesn't really help that Luhan's making himself comfortable on his stretched legs either. Minseok is in class at the moment, and Yifan relishes in speaking his mother tongue, a language he has dearly missed over the past hectic weeks of assimilation.

"Maybe get something to drink, change ideas a bit. It'll do you good."

Yifan groans at that. He feels like nothing even matters anymore, even as Luhan starts hitting his calves with his biology book, which Yifan dubbed as an encyclopedia.

"Hey, cheer up. Don't make me depressed too."

Yifan groans again. That's all he feels like doing today. And all the other days that followed after Yixing started avoiding and ignoring him. He sighs once more into the pillow, only to unceremoniously plop down on his back, making Luhan yelp in surprise at the sudden change in position.

"I don't know what to do, Luhan. Help me." He says, looking at his friend with what he hopes is a kicked-puppy face. "Help." He watches Luhan sigh.

"What did you do to piss him off?" Luhan asks with a tone that Yifan absolutely hates. The tone where he uses this condescending and irritated variations of sounds, which only reads as Luhan being annoyed.

"... Nothing. At least, that I know of." and Yifan is honest when he murmurs it, even though Luhan rolls his eyes at his words. It's eating him inside. Yifan has never spent so much time apart from Yixing, and it was repercussioning on his well being, so much so that he'd stop his nightly skin-care routine. He's staying at Luhan's place today, like every weekend and days he can afford to. He doesn't know how to face Yixing at all.

"Maybe you should apologize." Luhan voices, once again flipping at his heavy book, staring expectantly at him.

"I don't know. It's not like I haven't tried to talk to him."

"Well, it was a pretty douchey move you pulled back there."

"What move?"

"Making out with Baekhyun. That, right there. That was a douchey move you pulled." Luhan answers in a calm voice. The thing with Luhan is that he doesn't take sides (but Yifan begs to differ because yes, Luhan does take Minseok's side at all times), just states facts like they are. It still makes Yifan uncomfortable though, because obviously, Yixing would talk to Luhan about it. But not me.

"... I already feel like shit, but I won't apologize for kissing Baekhyun. It's not like I forced Baekhyun into kissing me back." Yifan rationalizes and honestly, he feels like shit for having Yixing watch him do it, but he won't apologize for something he wanted to do. Especially when Baekhyun was eager too. The thing that sucks too is that Baekhyun's totally ignoring and avoiding him. It's like losing both his best friend and his crush at the same time.

"I know how it's like, to be in love with the same person as your bro. " Luhan sighs thoughtfully and Yifan scoffs.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Liking the same person. That's what you're lamenting about since the start of this semester."

"No. What do you know about liking the same person? You've been with Minseok fo-"

"That's not the point. I'm saying I understand how you feel."

"How can you? You've been dating Minseok for four years already."

Luhan ignores his comment, only to follow with his words full of wisdom. "In situations like these, you have to reflect very carefully. You have to think about what really matters in the end, you know? Ask yourself this and then I think you can trully look over this situation with a clear mind."

Yifan sighs and he knows his friend is right, well at least the advice he gave was worth keeping into mind. Unlike the advice he got from Chanyeol, which was a very off-putting "I don't know, ask Yixing why he's mad."  But Yifan knows not to trust Chanyeol, especially not after the episode with the hideous neon yellow tank top.

He gets up, making sure to bump into Luhan's stomach with his long limbs, which in turn earns him to get kicked by said friend. It's Yifan's way of saying thank you and he relaxes as Luhan's whining voice about how Yifan's an ass resonates through the whole living room.

The funny thing about all this is Yixing is heartbroken. Well, it's not really funny, but Yixing is completely bummed that Baekhyun, despite his many attempts at texting and calling the younger boy, isn't answering him back at all. He doesn't know why he's at the end of a cold shoulder treatment, and Yixing sincerely is at a loss. He doesn't think he did anything wrong and it's been nagging at his sanity all week. Or so he hopes he didn't do anything wrong.

"Maybe, he is angry that I barged in when he was kissing Yifan?" He can't help but wonder aloud and Minseok sighs, raising his coffee cup to take a sip.

"I'm not quite sure that's exactly why though..."

The two friends are sitting in a cafe, the one where Baekhyun works in. It was even Baekhyun who took their orders but, as a matter of fact, his crush barely looked at him throughout the whole time it took to make a maple macchiato. No other words, except for formalities, were exchanged between the two and Yixing didn't try to make small talk. He knows when his presence is not welcomed and that only serves to make him even more sad.

"Then why? He won't even look at me, Minseok." Yixing stares forlornly at Baekhyun, who's happily greeting a new customer. His heart clenches all too painfully and he bites his lower lip out of discontentment.

"I don't think he's angry, Yixing. If anything, he seems to be sad."

"Basically, he's sad that I barged in when he was kissing Yifan?" Yixing's very confused. Minseok just sighs into his cup and frown at him.

"Xing, you can't read people at all." Minseok doesn't say anything more, just enjoying his drink while he is confused as all hell. But Yixing can't just give up like this, so he presses the matter at hand and intends to find the answer by the end of his and Minseok's impromptu hang out.

"Minseok, I really don't know what's going on." Yixing stares at Baekhyun's back, trying to make his crush turn around by the sheer force of willpower. Naturally, it doesn't work. "If you know anything, please give me a hint."

"I'm really sorry Xing. I don't know how to say this without sounding disinterested, but I think you should really talk to him about it." Minseok speaks in a careful tone and Yixing can see the concern behind the guarded voice.

"How?"

"Just talk to him. Go see him after work, go knock at his door, do something. I sincerely think it's a matter to be discussed face to face. Properly. With him."  Minseok replies wih a straight face. a small smile playing on the corner of his lips as if to say he'd support Yixing with all his might.

"I wouldn't know what to say... Give me advice?" Yixing is desperate. He hates staring at Baekhyun's back, (although that ass) feeling as if his heart was trampled on by a stampede of running horses. It hurt that much to be avoided by his crush.

"The best advice I can give you is to talk to him face to face. You're bound to tell the truth under pressure so it should be fine. Plus, if I wouldn't have done that, Luhan and I wouldn't have gotten together." Minseok admits, a hidden smile telling the tale of how happy he is at the moment.

Yixing smiles right back, concocting a plan to talk to Baekhyun in his head. Things will be fine, he believes, as he sees a text message from Yifan. But let Yifan suffer a bit, he muses as he ignores his best friend's text messages for another day.

"You're pathetic." Jongdae barges into Yixing's room while he's doing homework one night, only to slam the door at his face when he's about to ask what's wrong.

Jongdae has been very... irritable these past few days, and Yixing can only wonder why.

"Okay, this is completely ridiculous! I can't live like this anymore!" Jongdae yells at Yifan and Yixing, both in the middle of ignoring each other during yet another supper where Yifan isn't at Minseok's place. "For fuck'sake, you guys are making everything fucking awkward!"

Chanyeol frantically looks between the two supposedly best bros and gulps down a big junk of his food before clearing his throat.
"Um, I'll be... I'll be out." Chanyeol dashes through the front door without a second glance at the three other guys. The silence seems to drag on and Jongdae sighs loudly in defeat and exasperation.

"Look, I know what happened between the two of you, and I honestly think your friendship shouldn't be in shambles because of something like that. Please, just talk it out already. It's freaking repetitive and boring if only Chanyeol and I speak for the both of you." The silence is not easily broken so Jongdae gets up, taking the dishes Chanyeol neglected to take with him in his haste of leaving. "I'll be at Kyungsoo's. Come get me when you're done."

The sound of the closing door startles Yixing back to this reality he's not sure he's ready to face. Yifan hasn't looked up from his plate during the whole fiasco. They've been avoiding each other for at least a month, and although Yixing wants Yifan to feel guilty, he can't help but feel sort of bad for making his longtime friend go through all this.

Yixing knows, deep down, that Yifan does feel bad, but he hadn't expected to be this hurt himself. Just seeing his crush in Yifan's arms brought great pain and he knows better than to hold a grudge against the both of them. After all, people do not choose who they fall in love with, or who they are interested in. He knows that already, and they were both unfortunate to have fallen for the same person. Yet again.
He hears Yifan exhale and everything seems to be dragging on, despite the clock on the wall ticking its way to 8. Yixing waits. There's no need to rush his best friend because Yifan is never good at handling situations when he's not in his right and calm mind. Clatters of utensils makes him cringe inside, but he lets it slide, waits for Yifan to break the peace.

"Look, Xing..." It's the first time they're eyes meet during this long and excruciatingly painful month and Yixing's breath catches in his throat at finding pleading orbs pouring apologies upon apologies into his soul. "I know I can be a jerk a bunch of times, but that doesn't mean you have to live through all my whims." He perceives Yifan's nervousness at this unplanned apology and he can't help but smile softly at how his best friend's trying to make things right. Their mother slips into the conversation and Yixing can't help but forgive.

"It's fine now."

"No, not really. I don't want things to be that way, Xing. I know I hurt you a lot, and I'm very sorry to have made you feel like shit." Yixing wants to laugh because Yifan is withholding tears in his eyes and he always knew his tall friend's a softy at heart.

"I'm not completely over you making out with Baekhyun, but it's fine. It won't change how I feel about you and we're bros. You're my best friend, and no one can ever make me doubt it, not even you." Yixing startles Yifan from his frantic apologies and he ends up curling his lips into a semblance of a smirk.

"I'm still sorry for having acted that way towards you. I didn't know what to do and I just felt like I gave up like this, you know?" Yifan admits, and there will never be another moment in his life where is best friend would have the guts to be this honest with him. "I just feel like shit for not having the guts to talk to you sooner." his friend adds and Yixing smiles, dimple in display.

"It's fine. I didn't make it any easier for you. I'm partly at fault for that but it's cool, I forgive you already." he speaks in a teasing tone and Yifan releases a breath he was most likely holding since the start of this conversation.

"It's good that we have friends like Jongdae, right?" Yifan teases too, and there's a gigantic weight that magically lifts up from both their shoulders and Yixing is so glad to put an end to his silent treatment.

The both of them share a look, and it feels quite ridiculous if one would walk right in to see the two friends wordlessly discuss with their eyes. But it's not remotely stupid, because Yixing, for the first time since the start September, feels himself being ready to brave classes and everything.

"Yeah. It's good."

"Fucking finally." is the first thing that Jongdae says when he comes back to their dorm from getting bored himself at watching Kyungsoo play God of War, and it takes Yifan all of his mental strength not to punch the sneer out of Jongdae's face. Yixing puts a calming hand on his shoulder and Yifan swears he won't lose his calm to impulsive needs. It's good to have Yixing back.

Days go by in a slow rhythm, each one of them rambling to this semblance of a routine. Classes are a breeze now that Yifan has Yixing with whom he can talk with during lecture periods, and he's grateful Chanyeol helps them out with Korean words they're not familiar with. Yifan's just starting to really appreciate the student's life, juggling both homework and part-time job, and hangouts. There's just something that trots in the back of his mind and it won't go away.

Byun Baekhyun.

Baekhyun, with his cute smiles and cute eyes and deadly ass. Yifan hasn't spoken to him, not even seen a glimpse of the other boy ever since the night of their hangout disguised as a date (well, to Yifan at least). Of course he's worried, and of course he's troubled by his crush's sudden disappearance, but he's more than determined to set things right. Especially after the heart to heart he's had with his best friend. It's not that he's going to give up on his own feelings for Baekhyun, but it's simply to put an end to this complicated situation in which the two best friends have put themselves into.

He looks through his messages on Facebook, and the last conversation he's had with Baekhyun goes back to last week, where he simply left a message to ask if everything was fine. But as is, Baekhyun hasn't answered him although he's clearly seen the note. It hurts, to be so blatantly ignored by his crush but there's always a reason for everything and Yifan is absolutely resolute in his plan to set things right.

"Well, I still see him at school. He changed his hair colour to dark magenta, it's freaking hot." Chanyeol also isn't of any help at all but it doesn't look like Yifan got the first past hints.

"What I would do to see it." Yifan laments. They're both at his part time job, Chanyeol having nothing else to do that day, and Yifan taking a little too much freedom with his job's rules. Jongin's classifying the new arrivals and hasn't complained when Chanyeol made a show of his entrance earlier. Jongin's been nothing but an angel to be honest and Yifan's super glad he lied about being part of the Chinese mafia. This way he can slack off whenever Junmyeon isn't working.

"You can check on Sehun's Facebook page. He uploaded tons of pics of Baekhyun's new hair." Chanyeols says, yet again unhelpfully.

"I'm not friends with Sehun. I can't see his pictures in case you've forgotten."

"Well, that sucks for you, Yifan-hyung."

He's not sure if Chanyeol's being a brat or if he's being completely genuinely moronic, but Yifan still glares at him. Either way, he seriously needs to make new friends.

Yixing sighs for the nth time. He's, once again, sitting at his usual table at Starbucks, waiting for Yifan to arrive so they can start with their Ethic in Technology course project. It's also an excuse to subtly stare longingly at Baekhyun, who's working the night shift on a Tuesday once again. Not that he's been stalking Baekhyun for the past few weeks. He simply comes by Starbucks enough to have an approximate idea of when Baekhyun is and isn't working. Plus, his best friend's been adamant on meeting at Starbucks and not the library. Yixing knows it's to subtly stare at Baekhyun, who's new hair colour is glorious by the way.

It's getting chilly outside and Yixing needs to go buy a new jacket. Fall's always been his favourite season, well, more specifically the end of summer. It reminds him of when he first met Yifan (and Luhan) all these years back, and the silly promise they've sealed under the school's playground. The leaves aren't changing colours yet and Yixing wishes he'd have the guts to talk to Baekhyun before they do. His best friend sits in front of him, laptop in his hands and grunt on his face.

"The library lady said she'd lend me the book if I helped out with shelving stuff. Consider this project done." Yifan dumps a big book on the table, shaking his coffee cup a bit.

They get started on everything, Yixing handling the manual and Yifan typing on keys for further information. It's not even five minutes later that Yifan stares at him, so Yixing stops with whatever he's looking for.

"Did you talk to him?" Yifan asks, and it's the first time, since their reconciliation, that they talk about Baekhyun.

"No. He's avoiding me."

"He's avoiding me too." Yixing follows his friend's gaze, and he finds himself staring at Baekhyun who's innocently joking around with his coworker, a certain Taehyung, and Yixing feels his heart constricts because Baekhyun won't even spare him a glance.

"I don't understand though. I thought he was angry at me, but it seems like he's angry at us." Yixing confesses, bringing his cup to his lips for a sip. He looks up to see Yifan raising his brow in a weird manner.

"Why would he be angry at us?"

"I don't really know but when you avoid someone, it's either because you're angry with them, or because you're sad at something they did.

"Right?" Yixing ponders, and Yifan's eyes darken at this statement.

"I guess you're right, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. He cares about you a whole lot."

"Well, he's got a strange way to show it to me."

They drop it at that, Yixing willing himself to concentrate on a far more important assignment. Yifan looks contemplative, almost on the verge of an emotional breakdown but Yixing lets it slide for now. He's never been good at things he doesn't truly comprehend so he'd rather focus on something he's good at. Yifan seems like he wants to continue with the topic, but somehow, Yixing isn't quite feeling it. He's had enough of headaches for now.

At first, it was uncertainty. Then it was time, and now it's mid-terms.

Every time Yixing wanted to confront his now longtime crush, he'd have an excuse not to. Or something plausible that would make it seem like he couldn't go. Now that Yixing thinks about it, it sounds more like he doesn't care enough to do anything.

"I told you to go talk to him." Minseok pats his back with a little more force than needed. Yixing is hanging out at Minseok and Luhan's flat, eating snacks and playing FIFA games on Playstation 3. Yifan's working the closing shift, and his roommates went out drinking with Sehun, Kyungsoo and Zitao. Which meant that Baekhyun would be there, so in turns meant that Yixing was not invited.

"But... But it's hard."

Luhan's ordering pizza for everyone and for once, Yixing can relax a bit instead of getting his mind buried into textbooks and computer programs. He needs a breather and spending time with his friends is always something he can look forward to. Except, Minseok and Luhan are cornering him into speaking to Baekhyun.

"It's really not. You know where he lives and where he works. All you need is to go up to him. Don't simply not to anything about it, you know?" Luhan barges into the consultation, giving his own advice because, well it's Luhan and Luhan has a thing for giving great advice. His own words.

"But I wouldn't know how to tell him everything. I don't even think he likes me anymore... If he ever liked me to begin with."

"Blasphemy!" Luhan roars into the living room, as he scores another goal while Yixing is distracted. "That's why you have to talk to him, to know the truth! You can't go on with your life assuming things and just living in a river of made-up assumptions."

Yixing feels something bubbling inside his heart. Somehow, Luhan's words manages to pierce through and he feels so lucky he's surrounded by good friends and positive people.

"You're right, Luhan. You're absolutely right."

"Of course I'm right. I'm always right."

Yixing ignores the comment and then scores a goal of his own, while Luhan's distracted by Minseok agreeing with him always being right and exchanging sloppy kisses while Yixing celebrates his victory.

Yifan's palms are getting sweaty, and if there's one thing he absolutely abhors, it's getting sweaty palms.

Few minutes prior to his current situation, Yifan was happily cleaning his part of the bedroom when Jongdae barged into his impromptu rendition of Mariah Carey's We Belong Together.

"Baek's parents are out of town. Go talk to him." Jongdae lashed out with a very firm voice that sent shivers down his spine.

"What?"

"Stop spinning in circles around Baekhyun."

"What are you saying?"

"Exactly that. Now, here's his fucking address and if by tonight, you still haven't talked with him, whatever you need to talk about, then don't bother coming here. I'll lock the door on your face."

And so not even thirty minutes after Jongdae's threat, he finds himself standing in front of one Byun Baekhyun's house. His palms are getting sweatier by the minute and he really doesn't know what he's doing. His heart's pounding so hard that everything feels weird and he wishes the ground would wallow him up whole.

Like Jongdae said, there's no cars in the private entryway and Yifan wants to go back on his footsteps because What if Baekhyun's not even home? What if Baekhyun was with Sehun? And before he can make up his mind, the front door opens and he's met with a very shocked Baekhyun.

"Holy shit! What the?! Oh my God, you scared me!" Baekhyun clutches at his chest, exhaling loudly with eyes wide open.

His breath catches in his throat. It's like falling for Baekhyun all over again, what with his new hair colour that he hadn't really gotten used to.

"Hey." he says a little dumbly and Baekhyun's looking at him like he grew another head or something. It doesn't cross his mind that they haven't spoken for more than two months, or that Baekhyun's been very evident in his avoidance of both Yixing and him. The other boy doesn't speak, not even to answer him and they're just transfixed there, feet still. "Can we talk?" Yifan has the decency to ask and Baekhyun seems like he'd rather be anywhere than near him.

"I don't know." Yifan sighs, both because he hasn't heard Baekhyun's voice in forever, and because it's very clear that his crush isn't ready to talk with him. But Jongdae's nagging shriek instilled itself into his head and he's sort of determined to finish what he has started.

"Please, Baekhyun. I just want to talk." he sounds whiny but this seems to get Baekhyun to lower his guards. Yifan stares at the little mole on Baekhyun's upper lip and can't bring himself to tear his scrutinizing gaze elsewhere. He's not completely sure how everything's going to turn out, he's not even sure how he's going to explain everything to Baekhyun or even where to properly start.

He's a bit jumpy and when Baekhyun slowly nods, he can't help himself but to smile when he's entering his crush's empty house. Yifan's eyes roam around every surface of the living room and Baekhyun reappears with water bottles. They sit opposite each other, a little too far for Yifan's likings, but he won't complain. It's already a miracle that Baekhyun's kind of willing to talk things through with him. The silence is killing Yifan though, and he should have seen this coming but instead, he sort of wished Baekhyun would revert back to his old self; the one he remembers that would break any uncomfortable silence and fill the gape with his undying stories and melodious voice. He should have known better.

Instead, Baekhyun is fiddling with his fingers and staring holes into the ground. Yifan's very self-conscious with his actions suddenly and rethinking about the whole situation, maybe things were meant to play out this way. Maybe it was already righting itself out. He can almost feel Jongdae's wrath from a miles away and opts to start talking.

"I don't know why you started distancing yourself from us." he admits, and maybe shouldn't have started with this because Baekhyun flinches at his words. But he isn't endowed with a brain-to-mouth filter. So he pursues. "I don't understand why you would leave without saying a word. After we kissed, and after we were having such a good time together. Were you just leading me on?" He doesn't know where the words come from. He honestly doesn't mean to sound so angry but he guesses it needed to get out. His words sound like accusations, and he can't keep his tongue in check at all.

"I was so confused for the past months, I tried to keep contact with you, but you bailed. You left without a word. Why?" he inquires, biting his lips to calm down. Heart racing, palms sweaty, chest heaving silently.

He's hurt, and it's only now that he realizes Baekhyun has hurt him. He knows there are tears in his eyes, and he looks up, willing them not to fall and cause further damage. He feels the side of the couch dip, and there's a small and warm hand that lays on his thigh, a body heat that he's missed terribly. Yifan stares into Baekhyun's saddened orbs, slightly pouty lips and he only wants to kiss the frown away.

"I'm a fucking jerk." Baekhyun affirms, admits to having hurt him a lot and Yifan wills his heart and mind to listen. "Yifan, I'm so sorry. I'm a fucking jerk and I'm so sorry about everything." Baekhyun takes his hands and softly rubs them, not saying anything about them being moist and hot. "There's no valid reason for me to have disappeared, and I don't want you to think that I was leading you on. Yifan, I really like you, and you're a fabulous kisser, you really are... I'm just a selfish person. A selfish coward and I'm so sorry I hurt you in all this."

It takes a few blinks for Yifan to realize that Baekhyun's beautiful fingers are brushing away at some wandering tears and he lets a chuckle of embarrassment escape from his dry mouth.

"It's okay." Yifan stammers and watches as Baekhyun shakes his head.

"No, it's not okay. What I did was insensitive and cowardly. I should have said something earlier, but because I felt like kissing you, I hurt you and I probably hurt Yixing too. That's why I couldn't come near you guys, I don't deserve a person like Yixing."

Yifan's not the brightest crayon in the box, but at the mention of Yixing's name, he thinks he understands where this is going and he brings the back of his hands to strenuously rub at his wet cheeks. He gets up, and Baekhyun follows after him like a lost puppy.

"I think I should go, I don't want to impose and I need some time. For myself." he mutters and Baekhyun helplessly watches as he puts his shoes on in a frantic manner.

"Yifan..."

"It's fine. I'm going to be fine."

"I'm so sorry, Yifan."

The world stops again for Yifan, and this time, he smiles genuinely. It's never easy, but he'll survive. After all, he's Wu freaking Yifan and he knows how to back down from a lost fight.

"It's okay. I'll text you when I'll be fine, alright? Just, don't be a stranger anymore."

They stand near each other, just far enough not to touch. Baekhyun hesitates, so Yifan does it for him. He hugs the smaller boy in a tight embrace, small body crushing against his imposing height. His chest tightens when he feels Baekhyun's breath hitch and everything hurts so much at that exact moment. He tears himself apart, both hands on small shoulders and he smiles sadly Baekhyun, giving him a few taps before waving goodbye and hoping to catch the next subway to go back home.

Swift autumn air refreshes Yixing as he reads his twenty pages of lecture he really needs to get done by the end of the day. He's forgotten about the paper until Yifan reminded him earlier about this paper they had to work on in their evening class. Yixing's mind is reeling and there's not much he can actually do to keep calm. There's a bunch of words he doesn't clearly understand and for the past few minutes, he's been searching for words in his dictionary. It's a hassle and Yixing feels himself getting tired by the second.

Why did I choose to have my classes in Korean?

Back when he could choose his options, Yixing didn't think he'd need to change, but now that his roommates are busy with their own school projects, he wishes he'd taken the classes in mandarin.

Things have been pretty hectic and Yixing feels like he doesn't really have time to relax, although he'd been getting plenty of sleep this past week while Yifan would indulge his body and soul into his studies. Although his best friend hadn't said a word about what bothered him, Yixing could still understand that Yifan was down. He still smiled and laughed along with everyone, but there were countless times where he would just space out, more so than ever. Yixing really wishes he could help his friend with whatever's eating at him, but for now, he's too busy trying to save his grades from becoming complete failures. That was until Chanyeol barges into his room with a shit eating grin and too much energy.

"Guess what." Chanyeol almost yells out, eyes manic and expression bordering the line between insanity and complete madness.

"What?"

"There's a party at Oh Sehun's next Saturday. So whatever plans you made, or planned on making, cancel them right this instant."

"What?" Yixing blinks and Chanyeol's invading his personal space yet again.

"Oh, come on! Just this once! It's the end of mid-terms and you need to have fun! Play a little, let loose Yixing!" Chanyeol's a little too rough with his 'friendly' pats but Yixing doesn't even get a say before his dorky friend flips his phone out to text Sehun that he would be attending the party.

"No, Chanyeol, I can't go."

"Why not? You'll be done with your exams by Saturday."

"But... Baekhyun will be there. And Sehun too. And Yifan."

Chanyeol looks extremely confused, until a light probably bulbs up in his mind and he lets out a strange noise. "No worries about that! I mean, a bunch of other people will be there too so you don't have to talk to Baek or anything. And I'm sure Sehun won't mind Yifan tagging along too. He's never minded him so far, well that I know of."

Yixing doesn't really know how to answer to that so he doesn't say anything. He simply stares at his friend with a confused look and that urges Chanyeol to continue his monologue.

"What I'm saying is that, you don't have to talk to him if you're not feeling ready, you know? Don't stress yourself over what happened and I know Baekhyun. He'll come to you when he's ready to face whatever dilemma he's dealing with. And knowing him, things are bound to be alright in the end." Chanyeol offers him a smile and Yixing sort of feels better after this.

And so the week ends like this. And before Yixing can take a breather, he's dragged out by Jongdae and Yifan to an already full house. The music's blaring through the walls and Yixing's quite surprised that he can even hear himself thinking. It's not a misunderstanding when someone says that Sehun's parties always delivers. And Yixing's surprised at himself for forgetting such common knowledge.

Someone pulls him into the house, and Yixing's kind of glad that it's hotter inside. The weather's been getting pretty cold lately and he's never been quite good or fond of chilly weather. He's greeted by both familiar faces and strangers and there's something that doesn't seem to be right. He feels a tightening in his chest because although he promised Chanyeol he'd have fun that night, he still feels as if something's not quite right.

Yixing pushes the thought aside and lets his body move with the beat of a foreign sound. Yifan and Chanyeol are making their way to the kitchen, probably to get a drink, and Yixing decides that he shouldn't worry about his friend too much.

He sees Jongdae handshaking with this boy he's met only a handful of times, a certain Huang Zitao, and to his left, he sees Luhan and Minseok dancing closely to one another. Yixing can't help but smile to himself at the sight of these two lovers, and just before he can enjoy watching them sweetly kissing each other, someone grabs him by the shoulders and forcefully drags him out to the front, outside of the warm house.

"Glad you could make it." Yixing is turned and his assailant smirks back at him. He's nervous again under Sehun's scrutiny, and for a reason unknown to him, he doesn't want to confront Sehun alone. The taller boy seems to notice his internal distress and smiles, which makes Yixing nervous because Sehun rarely ever has a genuine smile on. Well, he can't even tell if it's genuine or not because Oh Sehun rarely smiles at all.

"Why are you smiling? Can you stop? I feel uncomfortable."

"I drank a bit." Sehun giggles and Yixing really feels uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?"

"Life couldn't get better." Sehun slurs his words and leans on Yixing, head-locking him into a back hug and Yixing felt shivers run down his spine despite his knowledge of Sehun probably not remembering all of this the next day.

"Can you stop hugging me please?"

"Look, Baekhyun didn't come to my party. He's at his place sulking like a baby."

This makes Yixing's heart flutter with a start and all his attention is now driven to Sehun's words instead of his very out of the blue affection.

"Why didn't he come?"

"He's always sulking like a baby, ever since the day you caught him making out with Wu fucking Fanfan. And I told him I liked you, and now I'm giving you permission to woo Baekhyun to your heart's content."

A harsh pat is delivered to his back and it takes a lot for Yixing not to stumble on his steps. He thinks he has an idea of where this conversation is going, but he's still aware that Sehun is tipsy, maybe even drunk, so he tries not to have false hope.

"Does Baekhyun like me too?" he asks. Sehun just stares blankly before him for a few moments too long, then seems to snap out of whatever trance he's under.

"He's home, so go ahead and be gone. Go see him and wrap your willy if things starts to get too hot and dirty." Sehun winks and Yixing doesn't understand most of what he just said. There's a bunch of expressions he doesn't get yet but he figures it's surely nothing.

"Okay. I will go see Baekhyun now." Yixing's heart is hammering painfully, but his mind is set and no one will be bothering him. He should have thought about that; an impromptu visit. Of course. That would take Baekhyun by surprise and there's no element better than surprise when you want to be romantic, he mused and squealed in his inner thoughts.

"Good, good. I slipped rubbers and lube packets under his mat. Shouldn't be too hard to find so go and wreck him up."

"Alright." Yixing agrees, although he honestly did not understand what Sehun just told him.

With a last painful pat to his back, Yixing struts his way to Baekhyun's house, mind a complete mess and body moving on overdrive. And as he walks away from the noisy house party, he can't help but slap himself in the face. It was about time he did something.

Baekhyun answers the door in baggy orange sweatpants and grey t-shirt that's two times bigger than him and Yixing can't help but melt. It's been far too long since he's seen his crush at such close proximity and it's slightly overwhelming, although he's been staring at Baekhyun from afar ever since he started avoiding him.

"What are you doing here?" Baekhyun's voice is wary, and he's blocking the entrance to the house so Yixing manages a smile, that he hopes is warm and not too eager.

"I wanted to see you. And talk."

Baekhyun looks like he's having an inner debate with himself and Yixing's sudden adrenaline rush dies down a bit with that. But I'm already here, what good will it do for me to just up and go back?

"Please, Baekhyun. Just tonight." Yixing pleads and Baekhyun seems to falter at this. He opens the door wide enough for Yixing to get in, gesturing with his arms that he's free to come in.

After closing the door, Baekhyun doesn't show any sign of moving at all. He stays where he is, feet glued at his spot some distance away from him and Yixing really only wants to back away from all this. He's been told a bunch of times that he wasn't good at reading atmospheres and people, but from Baekhyun's expression and stance, he knows he's overstepping his boundaries. Perhaps even overstaying his welcome.

"Baekhyun, I'm sorry." Yixing's voice is barely over a whisper and he anticipates his crush' eyes looking up at him.

"Why are you sorry? If anyone should be sorry, it's me." Baekhyun says while rubbing his arms as if he's cold, or maybe he's trying to convince himself that he's sorry, Yixing can't be sure for now. He takes a few steps to grab Baekhyun's strangely cold hands, brushing his fingers on the back of Baekhyun's hands in an attempt to soothe him.

"I don't understand why you'd be sorry. If anything, I'm the one at fault. I did something that made you mad, or sad." Baekhyun looks at him with an incredulous look, and Yixing doesn't know if he should continue his rehearsed apology.

"Yixing, you did nothing wrong. I'm the one at fault here. From what Minseok and Chanyeol told me, I made you fight with Yifan and it was the last thing I wanted to do. I'm really sorry about that."

"But it was my decision to stop talking to him for a while. Things are good now."

"What if things weren't good now? I feel so fucking bad. I don't want to go in between you two."

"But things are good, so you don't have to worry about anything, okay?" Yixing lowers his voice at that, and smiles doppily as he wills himself to not hug the other boy. Baekhyun's stressing out and it's the last feeling he wants Baekhyun to feel when he's with him. He only nods though, opting to keep quiet as he seems to relax under Yixing's touch. They stay silent for a while, and before he can properly think about how to bring the subject on, Yixing's subconscious speaks for him.

"Baek, I just want to know why you stopped talking to me. I'm very slow, a lot, so you have to tell me so I can understand. And please use easy words. I just talked to Sehun and I couldn't understand more than half of what he said." This makes Baekhyun laugh and Yixing feels accomplished, if just a little. Seeing that smile directed at him feels wonderful.

"Your accent got better, it's still distinctly cute though. I really missed it." Baekhyun stares at the ground as he confesses so, and Yixing honestly only wants to hug him tight enough to always feels his warmth. He doesn't say anything more, patiently waiting because Sehun told him Baekhyun would talk, only at his own pace. He finds that he honestly really doesn't mind waiting, casually holding the other's hand in a comforting manner, as if to say that he's okay waiting.

"Yixing. You must know this already, but I'm not the nicest guy there is out there." Yixing wants to refute, to say something but Baekhyun shakes his head. "No, I mean it. I'm very impulsive, and I don't think before acting. I like to have everything I want, I'm very selfish and I don't think about others." Baekhyun confides and Yixing's processing the words in his head as quickly as he can. The words are intertwining in his head and he's just a bit lost about some of their meanings, but he gets what Baekhyun's trying to convey and doesn't find words he can express.

"You saw me, Yixing. I'm fickle. I don't like to be tied up to anything. You must have seen me with at least three different guys at each parties we've been to, and I'm just very lucky Sehun's sticking by my side even when I pretend I can't control my hormones."

"It matters not. To me. You are you and we are all selfish in our way. I like you, Baekhyun." Baekhyun seems startled by this revelation, and Yixing wants to touch his ears because they're getting red and he finds that undeniably adorable. He tries to step closer, but Baekhyun steps back a bit to avoid any contact. Yixing's heart hammers painfully.

"I don't deserve you. Don't you get it? Yixing, you're all a guy like me can't have." Baekhyun yells out, taking Yixing by surprise. Baekhyun's eyes glistens under the light and Yixing wants to reach out.

"Baek-"

"No. I don't want this. I don't want to, I don't need to be involved with anyone!"

"Baekhyun, please, I don't understand."

"I don't owe you anything, Yixing. I can kiss whoever I want, I can do whatever I want with any other guys and it's none of your business. I don't owe you anything at all!" Yixing flinches, watching as Baekhyun clenches and unclenches his fists. "I don't owe you anything. We're nothing, we're friends. I don't have to feel horrible for kissing your best friend."

There's a relentless sound going about in the back of his mind and his heart clenches. Baekhyun's talking a little too fast and Yixing's not sure he knows the meaning of each word. By the look of things, it's going somewhere and Yixing thinks he understands.

"Baekhyun, what are you saying?" He takes a few steps forward, hands reaching out to gently touch Baekhyun's warm cheeks. The latter looks up at the contact and Yixing can hear his breath hitch. Yixing stares at the way Baekhyun's tongue laps out to swipe across his lower lip and there's this sudden pull, this 'je-ne-sais-quoi' that Baekhyun has.

"We're not together." Yixing smiles at these words. He knows that so he simply nods calmly, gently rubbing his thumb on rosy cheeks. "We don't owe anything to each other." Yixing's fingers brush at Baekhyun's ears, which makes him shiver and bite his lower lip.

"I know."

Yixing's fingers lower themselves to Baekhyun's neck, fingers teasing and tingling with curiosity. He's fairly sure of his crush's feelings by now and all he really wants is to save Baekhyun from talking (he can see it makes the other very uncomfortable), but he feels a surge of satisfaction from this so he lets him continue.

"I feel like shit for kissing your best friend. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

And before Yixing can see tears falling, he leans down to peck Baekhyun's trembling lips. It's sweet, it's serene and Yixing feels trembling fingers clutching on his shoulders. The heat spreads all around him and he's startled when he can taste tears on his lips. They part, nose brushing and breathing the same air. His fingers find Baekhyun's, and they hold onto each other, close enough to hear their heartbeats.

"I like you, very much." Yixing chokes out and Baekhyun chuckles at that, and they're so close to one another that Yixing starts counting the small lashes smeared with hot tears.

"I figured."

"What?" Baekhyun chuckles again at that, holding onto Yixing's fingers with more vigour.

"I like you too, a lot."

It feels like nothing Yixing has ever experienced. The pinch at his heart, his racing pulse and Baekhyun's heat... It's all too overwhelming, and he's swimming in happiness right this instant. He wastes no time to kiss Baekhyun with all the gratitude and love he holds for him, wishing to convey all his genuine feelings with the peck of his lips and the tenderness of his touch.

Yixing wakes up, groaning because the sun's out and it shines too bright for him to ignore now. His back hurts for some reason, and his thigh muscles and hips feel sore. He hasn't been very active as of late and reality downs upon him like millions of bricks. Oh. Oh. Right, he woke up in Baekhyun's bedroom so everything makes sense now. He's just a bit bummed that the said boy's nowhere to be found, and finding that the other side of the bed's kind of cold only proves that Baekhyun's been up for a while. After what they've done, the level of intimacy they've reached in one night, Yixing would have loved to wake up to a cuddling Baekhyun.

He makes his way to the joint bathroom, giggling to himself when he finds a pack of spare toothbrush for him to use. Once he's done with waking up properly, the smell of pancakes brings him to the kitchen downstairs, and his heart skips a beat at the sight of Baekhyun humming contentedly to himself while flipping pancakes. All this with a frilly white apron on. Other than that, he's completely bare. Oh.

"Good morning." Yixing pecks his lover and Baekhyun shakes out of surprise. Yixing's hands finds his waist, chin propped on an almost bony, hickey-covered shoulder.

"Morning."

Yixing makes them both sway from side to side to Baekhyun's incessant humming, and it's all like a scene out of a romantic movie. The happiness he feels at seeing them already so comfortably domestic makes him extremely giddy, and he tries his best to ignore the fact that said lover's cute and round butt is pressing up on his crotch. Baekhyun turns the stove off and faces Yixing, his back leaning on the counter.

"Happy birthday." Baekhyun whispers and smiles, shyly (Yixing knows this look is nothing near shy) looking up to show mirth in his eyes as he slips down on his knees, his small and bewitching fingers gently prying his pants off. Oh.

Scratch that. It's like a scene out of a very bad porno plot. But Yixing's not complaining. It's his birthday today and they could play house all they wanted after.

They're all sitting around the camp fire near by the beach. It's kind of frisky in all honesty, and Yifan would rather be in the comfort of his own dorm room than be out at night with a bunch of idiots, singing along to a song Chanyeol just created.

The night's still young though, and yes, although he's mentally killing everyone who's singing off-pitch, he's not really unhappy to be where he is. They celebrated Yixing's official birthday a few days ago (blowing a cake with the presence of only their roommates, Baekhyun, Luhan and Minseok), and reported the 'party' to today, a few days before Halloween. It was more than frisky and Yifan cursed Zitao for suggesting they do it at Kyungsoo's summer chalet. All the guys are gathered together, many that Yifan know and some he's not familiar with (even Jongin's there, under Chanyeol's invitation. The world is small).

The fire's pretty, and Yifan lifts the beer for a mouthful, not minding that it's cold and thus contributes to make him even colder. He shivers involuntarily and quickly covers his discomfort by glaring at Jongdae, who was busy singing from the top of his lungs. He sighs, watching with careful eyes as Jongdae makes his way to sit next to him, with a loud and thunderous cackle.

"Why you so gloomy?"

"Am not."

Yifan glances around, tuning Jongdae's singing out. His phone vibrates and he decides to ignore Junmyeon's text. His manager can wait until the next morning. And it's not like Junmyeon worked a lot, considering Jongin was the only other person he'd work with. He can manage the store alone for two days.

"So guys! Gather, gather!" Chanyeol screams out, guitar in one hand and a beer in another. "Come on, let's play a game!"

Yifan grunts, and looks up when he notices Yixing sat down next to him. They nod at each, exchanging a nod, then Baekhyun sits down next to Yixing and Yifan smiles. The couple's really cute, vanilla he would say, but from what Yixing told him about his sexual escapades, he knows not to judge a book by its cover.

"Ok, so I ask questions, and you guys answer. That's the game." Sehun says loudly, and everyone grunts. Yifan rolls his eyes, hoping to get Sehun's attention and tell him how stupid this is, but he doesn't say anything, opting to keep quiet and brave the cold by himself.

Luhan cheers at what Sehun asks, and Yifan decides to pay attention in the end.

"It's when I met Lu~ge." Minseok admits. Catcalls and roaring ensues.

"Same for me, most important event was when I met Minseok." The couple shares a kiss to everyone's dismay. Yifan cringes, but deep down, he's really touched by this display of undying affection. All the attention turns to him though, and he looks around, confused a bit.

"What?"

"We can just skip you. I don't want to hear your answer anyway." Sehun says and Kyungsoo hits him at the back of his head. Jongin visibly pales at the Sehun's harsh words and Yifan ignores it for tonight.

"Let him answer. It's an easy question." Kyungsoo defends him and Yifan nods in thanks.

"What was the question?"

Kyungsoo looks like he's ready to kill someone. "The most important event of your life. To date."

He can see all the guys watching him with curious eyes; Luhan and Minseok, to his right, are smirking knowingly. Chanyeol's probably too tipsy to properly interfere, and Jongin's smiling (probably to be polite). Jongdae's scooping closer to a very spurned looking Sehun, while Kyungsoo stares with his eyes wide, patting away Zitao who's only trying to use the former as a human pillow. Yifan looks at his right and Yixing and Baekhyun are cuddling together, both waiting for his answer.

Yifan's very tempted to make a douchey comment, something along the line of "The day I was born" but he bites it back. Yixing's smile is enough to bring him back to his real self and he decides he won't lie tonight.

Yifan fist-bumps Yixing and both of them break into laughter.

"When I met my bro, Zhang Yixing."

END

A/N: I'm so nervous! This is my first exo long fic contribution and I haven't written for so long... hopefully a bunch of you enjoyed it! Baeklay needs more love, and thus I shall try to bring justice to this pairing by writing side-stories of this AU!