Jate fanfic: I need you so
Title: I need you so
Author: Polly
Rating: K
Characters: Jate
Chapters: one shot
Status: complete
Summary: Kate thinks about Jack. Pos-finale. Songfic.
Author’s note: I took the song “I love you” by Sarah McLachlan. English is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes!
Kate's POV
The sea is calm. The sun harmoniously shines over my skin and brings me some pleasant warmth but not so hot.
I stare at the horizon and let my feet sink in salt water, whose waves hit against my shank from time to time. I like the sensation of sinking as I feel the sand disappearing under the soles of my feet, taken by the stream.
And then he comes. Taking away my peace, he just appears. I don’t need to look around; I already feel his presence, I know he comes towards me. Even so, I turn my face to him and then we exchange glances.
I have a smile stretched from ear to ear
I see you walking down the road
He looks at me in a quiet manner; he narrows his eyes, trying to avert them from the sunlight. Everything seems to become even more peaceful; I can’t hear the noise from the beach; the people talking, the waves’ shaking…Suddenly it’s a deserted place.
We meet at the lights, I stare for a while
The world around us disappears
It's just you and me on my island of hope
Jack smiles. His face is serene. He is quiet and he continues staring at me. I smiled back. Our exchanges of glances are equivalent to thousand words. I decide to approach.
A breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you, a sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek
I walk towards him. I start unwittingly crying but my tears are tears of joy.
-Jack! How is this possible, are you here? I can see you! All that happened before was a nightmare, wasn’t it? We are in the island and you’re not hurt. We can be together, we are together!
He remains silent. Then, like magic, he is not here anymore.
But everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
Suddenly I jumped. I’m sweating, breathless and scared. My mind is puzzled; it takes a little while until I realized that I wasn’t at the beach, I was just dreaming.
I notice my dark bedroom and look around. The window is open, the cold wind at the night hits against the curtain, provoking an unsettling ballet.
I sit down in bed, hugging my knees to my chest and leaning over them. I shrink due to the cold weather. I can’t avoid my tears, I try to close my eyes again; I want to go back to sleep to finish my dream. Did I tell him foolishness? Did I pull him away? I wish I had told him so many things! The first of them is “I love you” These were the last words he heard from me. And the last words I heard from him.
And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
I decide to lie down. I strongly close my eyelids but my effort just failed. And there it goes, one more night awaken.
-Could you appear? Come back, Jack! Please, Jack, please!
And night's too long
And cold here
Without you
But he didn’t appear. And I’m alone again. I dampen my pillow with my tears and I hug the pillow which lies next to me; it belonged to Jack when we lived together. The pain that I feel doesn’t live me alone. I remember the warmth of his body next to mine, heating me at night. And when I couldn’t sleep, he used to embrace me. I still can feel the taste of his lips; I keep this last memory with me.
I start blaming myself for many things. Things we didn’t go through, things we let go…
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so
I take my mobile phone on top of the bedside table and I desperately search for Jack’s voice messages, the ones that I had never been able to delete, despite we had broken up. Now I understand why. When I listen to his voice, my heart just calms down. I look at the portrait that I had brought from the living room and I faithfully kiss the picture of him and Aaron.
I count the hours; I wish they would elapse in a hurry and I eagerly hope the day that I will see him again. And then I will say to him how I missed him. I cling to this hope to keep on living and moving on.
And I forgot to tell you
I love you
And night's too long
And cold here
Without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so
THE END