To Catch A Mirage (2/2)
part i
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Jongin arrives at the park earlier than the last time he went there. He sits on a different bench, one opposite the tree where Oh Sehun will sit, and then he waits. It didn't take long until the blonde arrives, and Jongin watches as he slumps down under the shade of the tree, folding his legs and burying his face on top of his knees. The scene is exactly like the one that Jongin saw before, proving once again that the day is indeed repeating itself.
Jongin silently observes Oh Sehun a few feet away from him. He feels mixed emotions as he thinks of how the man will die hours away from now. It is such a shame. Sehun is a young man probably thrown off his track in life and ends up losing his life because of a stupid thing like drugs. Jongin feels that it is his responsibility to change that.
Why else would these strange things happen to him if it isn’t?
Slowly, Jongin stands up from the bench and quietly walks towards where the blonde is crouched down. Sehun doesn’t notice him approaching, not even when Jongin is already sitting beside him. The man must be too deep in his thoughts, Jongin thinks.
He looks over to the blonde and notices the faint bruises and scabs all over his pale arms. Jongin’s eyebrows rise at this. He wonders how the man got those. Jongin exhales and the sound of it startle Sehun, making the man abruptly raise his head to search for its source. With wide eyes he finds Jongin and panic creeps over Sehun’s features. The man isn’t crying like the time he saw him before, and for this Jongin is slightly glad.
“Who-,“ Sehun starts to push himself off the ground and Jongin raises his hands, palms facing Sehun to stop him.
“Calm down! I’m sorry for surprising you. I just want to talk.” Jongin splutters. “Please.”
Sehun looks at him warily, but he doesn’t move farther away. Jongin takes this as a good sign and he feels relief, he places a hand over his heart. “I thought you were gonna run away. Or worse! Hit me.”
Jongin almost laughs but the glare he is receiving from the blonde stops him. He composes himself and offers Sehun his hand.
“I’m Jongin.” He says. “I ... uhh ... I work as a secretary in a publishing firm.”
“And you are talking to me because?” Sehun’s expression is blank when he speaks.
“Oh,” Jongin blinks at him before withdrawing his hand. “Because I’m ... errr ... bored?”
The corners of Sehun’s mouth curve down into a frown. That was a bad answer, Jongin thinks, cursing himself for his incoherency. He goes into panic when Sehun tries to stand up again. His hand shoots up to grasp the man’s wrist. If Sehun leaves he’s going to meet up with that suspicious person and probably buy drugs. Jongin needs to prevent that.
“Don’t leave.”
Sehun grunts as he tries to free his hand from Jongin’s grip. He struggles when the latter only tightens his hold. Jongin’s eyes sweeps over the bruises on the pale skin of Sehun’s arm only for a second but it is enough to be noticed by the blonde.
“Let go.” Sehun says through gritted teeth.
Jongin shakes his head. “Please stay. I only want to talk.”
“I don’t know you, so why should I talk to you?” Sehun tries to snatch his arm away again, but Jongin’s grip is firm. “Let me go!”
“How did you get those bruises?” Jongin ignores Sehun’s pleas.
Sehun stops struggling to glare at Jongin. “Why the fuck do you care?”
“Do you you inject yourself with heroin? I’ve read something on the internet about this before.” Jongin’s voice is calm but stern. “Or are those because your friends from that dirty alley hurt you?”
Jongin sees the fear in Sehun’s eyes as he looks at him. The blonde blinks and his breath speeds up, his eyes starts looking everywhere and Jongin feels him start to shake.
“Hey, hey look at me.” Jongin leans closer to Sehun and places a hand on his cheek. The space between them is so small that Jongin is able to smell the scent of Sehun’s mint shampoo. Jongin thinks about the alternate time when Sehun puts a bullet through his head. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts.
Jongin waits until the blonde man looks back at him before he speaks again. “Breathe.” He orders.
Sehun only stares at him so he gently taps the blonde’s cheek. “You need to breathe.”
Jongin smiles as Sehun start to inhale air. Jongin feels Sehun’s warm breath hit his skin as the blonde exhales. Slowly, Sehun starts to calm down. The blonde blushes when he realizes how close the space between him and Jongin is. The pink tint on his cheeks makes Jongin grin.
“Are you okay now?” Jongin asks as he leans back.
Sehun nods and he looks up warily towards Jongin. “I still don’t understand why you are talking to me.”
“I don’t either.” Jongin chuckles. “But one thing’s for sure.” He releases his grip on Sehun’s wrist to run his palm over the blonde’s arm. “These look bad.”
Sehun retracts his hand and folds both of arms over his stomach. “Don’t.”
Jongin looks at him and feels pity for the man. He feels so bad for him that he feels desperate to bring out a smile from the blonde. “Do you like ice cream?” He asks tentatively, but then mentally facepalms at his ridiculousness.
The face Sehun is currently making makes him feel even more embarrassed. The blonde looks at him as if he has grown a second head and Jongin covers his face with both of his hands and muffles a whine.
“I like ice cream.” Sehun says softly, so soft Jongin almost didn’t hear it. Jongin brings his hand down to look at the blonde and finds him looking back with a shy smile. “I like it.”
Jongin stares in amazement at the blonde as he plays back what has just happened in his head, seconds later, a wide smile forms on his mouth.
I made him smile.
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“You said you’d buy me ice cream.”
Jongin looks over to the pouting male sitting in front of him. He had brought them over to a nearby diner to eat lunch. He didn’t expect Sehun to sulk when he finds out that he will only get his ice cream much later. They’ve already finished their food but Sehun’s mood is still dampened.
“Are you pouting?” Jongin teases.
“I am not!” Sehun looks so affronted that it makes Jongin laugh. Sehun scowls at him. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” Jongin grins. “I bought you free food. You wouldn’t hate a person that buys you free food.”
“That’s true.” Sehun shrugs, lifting his glass of orange juice from the table before taking a sip.
“Since we’ve settled that you don’t hate me, does that mean you like me?” Jongin smirks when Sehun chokes on his juice, coughing loudly and ears red.
The blonde looks at him with a glare. “Stop teasing me!” He hisses.
Jongin laughs at Sehun and the blonde throws a used tissue towards Jongin’s face in revenge. Jongin brings his arms over his face to shield himself so Sehun throws a couple more dirty tissues to him. They only stop when one of the customers sneers at them.
“Alright, let’s go.” Jongin says after a while.
“Go where?” Sehun asks before he downs the remainder of his juice.
“Somewhere we can have fun.” Jongin answers, the smile never leaving his face. He stands up and takes Sehun’s hands.
They arrive at an amusement park a couple of minutes later and Sehun looks around the place with awe evident on his face. Sehun pulls Jongin with him to all the rides and Jongin obliges with amusement. Jongin learns that he likes it when Sehun smiles and the traces of childlike innocence appear on his face, making Jongin forget all the nightmares connected to the other repeated days.
The two of them ride the ferris wheel last when the sun is already setting and casting an orange glow on the ground. Once they reach the top, the sun has already been replaced by the moon and they are both surprised when bright lights illuminate the sky in different colours.
Sehun watches the fireworks with his mouth wide open in amazement, his vanilla ice cream left forgotten in his left hand. Jongin laughs and Sehun tears his eyes away from the sky to look at him. He points at the ice cream and Sehun blushes as he goes back to eating it, pink tongue darting out to lick the already melted parts. Jongin grins when he sees ice cream smeared on the corner of Sehun’s lips and he leans in to wipe it away with his thumb. Sehun stiffens for a second and then their eyes meet.
They stare at one another for a while, their noses only centimetres away. Sehun blinks and then he smiles, leaning in closer to Jongin who automatically closes his eyes in anticipation. Jongin gets confused when he hears Sehun chuckle but then cold lips touch his forehead. He opens his eyes and sees Sehun already sitting back on his chair, a smug smile playing on his lips.
Jongin shakes his head and laughs to himself. “You little shit.” He murmurs.
Sehun grins at him before kicking one of his legs. The ride ends and they climb out of the small car. They both decide to end the day and to go home. Jongin offers to walk Sehun home, the younger tries to refuse but Jongin is stubborn and Sehun ultimately agrees. They walk side by side on the street and Sehun breaks their comfortable silence when he starts speaking.
“My parents are divorced.” Sehun says with a small voice. “My dad left me with my mom who was shit at parenthood. She became an alcoholic and started hitting me.” He kicks on a pebble on the ground. “I became depressed and I guess that’s how it all started.”
He looks over at the man and feels his heart constrict at the sad expression on Sehun’s face. “I’m sorry.” Jongin breathes.
Sehun shakes his head before continuing with his story. “I started working at a convenient store and one time this guy handed a small packet of meth to me. He said I looked like I needed it. Maybe I did.” Sehun laughs bitterly. “Maybe I still do.”
Jongin halts in his step and Sehun stops with him, his eyes wide in confusion. Jongin places both of his hands on Sehun’s shoulders and looks the blonde in the eyes.
“You don’t.” He says, voice determined. “You don’t need those things! I’ve shown you right? There are other ways to forget your problems and have fun!”
Sehun smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He gives a small shake of his head. “You don’t understand.”
“You may be right but that doesn’t mean I can’t try to help you.” Jongin says. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. I’ll save you again and again as long as you need me.”
“Why?” Sehun’s eyes tear up and his voice is thick. “Why do you want to help someone like me?”
“You’re a good person.” Jongin says softly. “I like helping you.”
Sehun sniffs, eyes looking down on the pavement. “You must be an angel.”
Jongin places a hand under his chin to lift his face so that they are looking at each other. “You can call me your guardian angel then,” Jongin jokes.
He smiles at Sehun and seconds later the blonde does the same, cheeks pressing up and revealing a set of pearly white teeth behind pink lips. Jongin takes his wallet out of his back pocket and pulls out one of his business cards. He takes one of Sehun’s hands and places the card on top of Sehun’s palm.
“Call me later, okay?” Jongin asks and Sehun nods at him. “Do you promise?” Sehun nods again, this time a little more vigorously and Jongin releases a sigh of relief at this.
Jongin stores his wallet and waits for Sehun to finish putting the card on his pocket, before taking one of Sehun’s hands. They continue walking on the street, the moonlight helping in illuminating their path. They stop beside a street light and Sehun points to one of the houses across the street.
“That’s my place.” Sehun says.
The cream coloured house is small but it is enough for two people. It has a small garden, but Jongin observes that the flowers are already starting to wilt. The curtains are drawn, Jongin wonders if Sehun’s mother is at home.
“You have to call me okay?” Jongin squeezes Sehun’s hand as he speaks.
Sehun laugh, his voice a nice sound to Jongin’s ear. “I will.” He says softly. “I already promised to do it, right?”
“Yeah.” Jongin sighs.
“Go.” Sehun’s voice is gentle He looks at Jongin with tender eyes. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jongin feels reluctant to let go of Sehun’s hand, he lets his eyes linger on their intertwined fingers, the blonde’s pale skin a contrast to his tan. He looks up to Sehun’s face and sees him still smiling. And with a defeated sigh, Jongin finally drops Sehun’s hand.
Sehun waves at him as Jongin start to walk backwards, they grin at each other and Sehun mouths the word ‘thank you’ to him. Jongin nods before spinning on the heel of his right foot as he turns his back on Sehun. He slowly walks farther away from the blonde and towards the path to his home. Jongin feels Sehuns eyes on the back of his head and he forces himself not to look back.
Stop acting like a deprived kid, Jongin thinks. He will call you later and then you can meet him again tomorrow.
The streets are empty and quiet, except for the sounds of crickets and the cars running on a nearby road. The night is calm, but with each step that Jongin takes, he feels his heart pounding faster and faster. He distracts himself by memorizing the streets that he passes so that finding Sehun’s home again will be easier the next time they will meet. Jongin is surprised by how much he cares about the man. He remembers about the strange occurrences that have been happening to him and he starts to wonder if the day will repeat itself again. He hopes not.
A loud sound startles Jongin as it pierces through the night. It takes him a while to realize that it is made by the siren of an ambulance. He freezes in the middle of the street, his heartbeat frantic and his palms are beginning to sweat. Jongin whips his head towards where the sound is coming from as his mind process only one thought.
Sehun.
Jongin contemplates if something bad has happened. He doesn’t understand why but his body moves on its his own and bolts into a run. Jongin could only hope that his subconscious is wrong. The night is supposed to have a good outcome this time. It has to.
He arrives on the street light where he left Sehun but the blonde isn’t there. Jongin looks over to the house and sees that the curtains are still drawn. He crosses the street and stands before the fence, debating whether he should go and knock on the door. Just then he realizes that the sound of the ambulance’s siren is near, he follows it and arrives at a street two blocks away.
A crowd is already forming around the accident area and Jongin frowns because he cannot see through them. He moves closer and sees a paramedic hovering over a man sprawled on the ground. Jongin winces as he catches sight of the blood close to where the man’s hand is resting limply. He cannot see the face of the man because the paramedic is blocking the view and Jongin feels thankful for that. He doesn’t wish to see a dead man ever.
He catches some of the people’s conversations around him, something about how the man walked into traffic and got hit by a speeding truck. Jongin shakes his head at how horrible the situation is. He is about to go back to Sehun’s house when the paramedic gives up on the man and stands up, allowing Jongin with the full view of the corpse.
Jongin blanches as he sees the blood stained face of the man and the glassy eyes that stare back at him. Wisps of blonde hair cover the man’s forehead, some of it dampened by the red pool that is forming under his head, and the man’s hand is outstretched as if he is calling for somebody. There is a ghost of a smile on the man’s very familiar lips. Jongin’s body starts to shake as his mind runs back to a particular ferris wheel ride, and it makes his eyes blur.
Darkness swallows him, but the image of Sehun’s unmoving body stays in his head.
Jongin wakes up crying from his nightmare, one hand clutching on his bed sheet and the other clenched beside his head. He takes deep breath and blinks the tears away, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. He turns off the alarm on his clock without looking at the time and date. Jongin doesn’t need to see it to know what happened. He looks at his hand, remembering the warmth he felt when he held Sehun’s hand. But then the memories of Sehun’s bloody face come into his mind and he gasps.
This time he will make sure that will not happen.
He changes clothes and sprints out of his apartment. Jongin arrives in front of a house and sweeps his eyes over its cream coloured walls and the wilting flowers on the small garden. He takes several breaths as he calm his erratic heart. This is no time to be nervous, Jongin thinks.
The door to the house opens and a woman steps out of it. She watches Jongin with judging eyes but he only smiles at her and greets her a good morning. The woman leaves without talking to him and Jongin exhales.
Jongin waits patient until the door opens again and this time a small smile forms on his mouth. A very alive Sehun halts in the middle of their garden as he looks at Jongin warily. The blonde’s lips are once again set in a frown and Jongin grins proudly as he lifts his hand to show Sehun a gift. Sehun’s lips puckers as he looks at the popsicle.
“I didn’t find any vanilla ice cream but I guess this will do?”
“What the fuck?” Sehun mutters under his breath. Jongin hears it and he chuckles. Sehun's eyebrows furrow as he turns his eyes back to Jongin. “Who are you?”
Jongin smiles gently as he looks at Sehun’s face. I am here to keep a promise I made to you.
“You can call me your guardian angel.”