Screen Art
I suffer so you will not have to. ,-)
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Director Uwe Boll whose claim to fame lies in movie adaptions of video games (terrible movies, to be a bit more specific) which he apparently can make because of German tax laws (Germany. I mean, the world is slowly beginning to not hate you and then you give Uwe Boll money for his films?) allowing full refunds and tax deductions of movies failing to make a profit (something which I doubt any Uwe Boll movie has ever made) has this time scrounged his biggest budget ever and set sail for British Columbia to shoot this epic Lord of the Rings rip-off.
Anyway. This film is based on a computer game, and that's never a quality label. It stars a completely insane mix of actors who likely should have something better to do - Ray Liotta is completely over the top as an Evil Wizard, John Rhys-Davies is a more tired Good Wizard, Burt Reynolds (!) is the Good Dying King, Jason Statham (Transporter movies) kicks and chops as the Good Guy, Leelee Sobieski is the young wizardress and Kristanna Loken is some sort of Wood Amazon. Oh, and Ron Perlman is in it. He's the only one doing a decent job. The story is hopeless and confused with wizards and kings and Krugs(some sort of cheaper orcs) and mass battles and tragedy and glory. It is a complete mess and the constant feeling of how everything seems to be directly ripped from the LOTR films is funny but a bit tiresome. And there's a lot of long fights. The fights aren't that bad, but the photography is rather disastrous and it is always too long, and while the effects aren't that unbelievably bad I'd expected from a Boll movie they still aren't that awesome. (But it does show that Boll has gotten much more money to make this film than all others he's made).
Okay, some sort of verdict. This is a bad movie and at times incomprehensibly plotted. It is long and weird. In order to make sense it would need to be longer, but then I guess it would be painfully dull to watch. For an Uwe Boll movie it is definitely a good one (seriously, compared with Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark any movie is good), but that means nothing in a normal world. And I'm starting to get a bit tired of British Columbia's forests in films, it is like every bloody movie or TV series featuring wilderness is shot in the same place with the same types of trees and undergrowth.
Plus, what is this deal with fantasy-metal soundtracks? Seriously? Can't movie (and videogame) producers choose something a bit more appropriate for their stories, like I don't know, Monteverdi or contemporary instrumental? And is this an even worse disease in Germany? What's next, will Linkin' Park do the end title tune for The Hobbit?
D-Wars
Korean-American. After a lengthy flashback having something to do with mystic powers, reincarnation and good and evil dragons plus another bunch of critters looking like the second-rate reserves of Mordor we're invited to suffer through over an hour of evil CGI dragons hunting our hero and heroine in California. Modern forces like tanks and chopper eventually engage the mystical invaders and, seriously, I can't even to pretend to care about this movie. It has a lot of action but the story is both stupid, poorly presented and of a very special type of Mystic-Asian-Spiritual-Pretentious kind which I have a very hard time to enjoy, and it really should have better humour. Wise old wizards, cops, brave journalists who get in everywhere (yeah, right, the press is always let onto crime scenes) and a lot of running and wrecked cars. Plus, the CGI while extensive isn't that great, I got a definite computer game feel a lot of the time. And the (far too long) ending feels like it is taken from Mortal Kombat. Besides, I think it is very hard to do a decent movie with dragons in it anyway.
Nah, avoid this one.
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Director Uwe Boll whose claim to fame lies in movie adaptions of video games (terrible movies, to be a bit more specific) which he apparently can make because of German tax laws (Germany. I mean, the world is slowly beginning to not hate you and then you give Uwe Boll money for his films?) allowing full refunds and tax deductions of movies failing to make a profit (something which I doubt any Uwe Boll movie has ever made) has this time scrounged his biggest budget ever and set sail for British Columbia to shoot this epic Lord of the Rings rip-off.
Anyway. This film is based on a computer game, and that's never a quality label. It stars a completely insane mix of actors who likely should have something better to do - Ray Liotta is completely over the top as an Evil Wizard, John Rhys-Davies is a more tired Good Wizard, Burt Reynolds (!) is the Good Dying King, Jason Statham (Transporter movies) kicks and chops as the Good Guy, Leelee Sobieski is the young wizardress and Kristanna Loken is some sort of Wood Amazon. Oh, and Ron Perlman is in it. He's the only one doing a decent job. The story is hopeless and confused with wizards and kings and Krugs(some sort of cheaper orcs) and mass battles and tragedy and glory. It is a complete mess and the constant feeling of how everything seems to be directly ripped from the LOTR films is funny but a bit tiresome. And there's a lot of long fights. The fights aren't that bad, but the photography is rather disastrous and it is always too long, and while the effects aren't that unbelievably bad I'd expected from a Boll movie they still aren't that awesome. (But it does show that Boll has gotten much more money to make this film than all others he's made).
Okay, some sort of verdict. This is a bad movie and at times incomprehensibly plotted. It is long and weird. In order to make sense it would need to be longer, but then I guess it would be painfully dull to watch. For an Uwe Boll movie it is definitely a good one (seriously, compared with Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark any movie is good), but that means nothing in a normal world. And I'm starting to get a bit tired of British Columbia's forests in films, it is like every bloody movie or TV series featuring wilderness is shot in the same place with the same types of trees and undergrowth.
Plus, what is this deal with fantasy-metal soundtracks? Seriously? Can't movie (and videogame) producers choose something a bit more appropriate for their stories, like I don't know, Monteverdi or contemporary instrumental? And is this an even worse disease in Germany? What's next, will Linkin' Park do the end title tune for The Hobbit?
D-Wars
Korean-American. After a lengthy flashback having something to do with mystic powers, reincarnation and good and evil dragons plus another bunch of critters looking like the second-rate reserves of Mordor we're invited to suffer through over an hour of evil CGI dragons hunting our hero and heroine in California. Modern forces like tanks and chopper eventually engage the mystical invaders and, seriously, I can't even to pretend to care about this movie. It has a lot of action but the story is both stupid, poorly presented and of a very special type of Mystic-Asian-Spiritual-Pretentious kind which I have a very hard time to enjoy, and it really should have better humour. Wise old wizards, cops, brave journalists who get in everywhere (yeah, right, the press is always let onto crime scenes) and a lot of running and wrecked cars. Plus, the CGI while extensive isn't that great, I got a definite computer game feel a lot of the time. And the (far too long) ending feels like it is taken from Mortal Kombat. Besides, I think it is very hard to do a decent movie with dragons in it anyway.
Nah, avoid this one.