Untitled//[Lelouch&Nina]
Emperors are not gods, and they never will be. No matter what they do, no matter what happens, not even the power of the king can change that.
xoxo
He was dead.
Dead meant dead. Heartbeat stopped, breathing ceased, body decomposing. Dead did not mean conversations were still held, jokes were made, worlds taken over. Dead always meant dead. People did not come back to life to spite the living, to prove their existence was nothing but a ruse, or to mock the deceased, to show how unfortunate they were.
Lelouch, however cruel he was, would never do that. For he was dead.
And Nina believed that. Science had never said anything other wise; why would it now? He had been stabbed all the way through his body, Zero unleashing nothing but chaos until the end. It was his ascend, and then his downfall. There was no way in any reality he could've lived through that. If the destruction of internal organs didn't do it, he would've bled to death anyway.
And the mausoleum solidified he was gone.
Still, she didn't feel at peace with him dead. She still hated him. She still hated Zero. She didn't avenge Princess Euphemia like she promised. Zero had killed... well, Lelouch, who was Zero. Which was scientifically impossible, alternate realities and stable time loops notwithstanding. Zero couldn't be killed by Zero. But impostors could kill legends.
Still, she was neither impostor or assassin, and both Euphemia and Lelouch were dead. There was nothing she could do to change anything that had happened. No matter if she hated him or loved her.
She still saw their pictures about, his becoming as ruined as hers was, and she felt a pang of hurt. Nina never wanted Lelouch, her friend, to die. She had always admired him for handling their president so well, being logical, being like she wanted to be. She never loved him, never had a real interest in him, just found him to be someone she could aspire to be if she ever wanted to live that way. But he was Zero, the man who stole her first real love.
For that, she loathed him.
Euphemia was so pure and gentle, and if ever anything else, perhaps too sheltered, or quite impulsive. But Nina loved all of her. Her generosity, her determination, her curiosity, her kindness... Every bit of her was perfect. Then Zero, that devil, that bastard. All she could remember before she knew who he was truly was how destructive, how horrible he was. His voice would speak in her head, with gunshots echoing, her princess silenced by him. She hated him. She hated him. Nina hated Zero for what he was willing to steal from the world for his own gain.
But when she found out it was Lelouch... Something didn't feel right. She could hate a faceless monster. But Nunnally's gentle big brother with a charming smile and violet eyes? He was so good to her... It felt wrong to want him dead. But she did, and that F.L.E.I.J.A. had already been fired to kill him. She was guilty for the deaths of innocent people, she could not bear to hate him as much as she did.
But now, they were one and the same. She had committed murder, like he had. She was a criminal, like he was. She was deranged and desperate, like he had always been.
Science didn't care about people. Science didn't have to. Lloyd told her that, and she'd have to believe it until she died. But if it didn't care, then all those deaths were for naught. All of the Tokyo Settlement, those Black Knights, Clovis, Euphemia... she had to care. Lelouch must've cared as well. He had to have... He was no scientist, genius or not.
But he was now dead. She never had to worry about him hurting someone she cared for again. Even her own heart was spared forever more.
And there she was, standing in front of that mausoleum, flowers in hand, tears in her eyes, and for all that she hoped to see his grave, she had come to admire him more than she had ever before, and perhaps even love him. Part of him. His willpower, his charisma, his devotion to anything he wished so. She didn't love him for his treachery, his willingness to lie, but for all he did for people he never even met.
It was beyond admirable, beyond anything she could ever do.
It was silent, as no one had dared visit the memorial to such a monster, and only one little flower rested by his statue. It was a beautifully constructed building; only the best was permitted for the emperor. Stone, solid, like that of cathedrals, and stained-glass windows in the very front, with images of lilies. At night, the sun could not dance through the panes, but with moonlight... Nina stepped inside, her shadow melting into all the others, her heart racing. She didn't want to be there. She did want to be there. She wanted to run. She couldn't move. It was Lelouch. It was Zero. It was the Emperor. It was her friend. So many contradictions. But she did what she came to do.
Inhaling, she stepped forward, and laid the bouquet at the base of the statue, and looked up. Even in stone, a commanding presence, hand outstretched to take the entire world. She wanted to be like that, sure of herself, brilliant, almost perfect. He was like Euphemia, but not. He was something else entirely, something far more enigmatic. And upon looking into those stone eyes, she felt something inside of her break. Shatter. Twist and snap.
"Lelouch, I think... I think I do... love..."
She gasped, and covered her mouth, but nodded for the statue to see, like Lelouch was still alive and listening. If he were alive, she would've been rejected, but stone could not speak. Science had no heart to love, and rock had no voice to tell. A mismatched pair, but a pair nonetheless. She felt horrible, wrong, saying 'love' when she knew it just wasn't possible. Lelouch wasn't Euphemia.
But he was damn close.
She sunk to her knees, and started to cry. It was only for him, her worst enemy in both love and life, to see, but then, if she was the only one there...
Hands unfastened clothing, reaching for covered places, undoing hair ties. Nina was dirty for doing something like that, but there was no one to see, only a statue, a scientist, and bright moonlight. She felt like he, Lelouch was really there, egging her on, telling her she was brilliant, she was beautiful, she was someone he had admired. It didn't have to be love. it didn't even have to be like. It only had to be admiration. That she was worthy of him. She gasped, sighed, moaned, and then... it was all done. Nothing more to be had. What she had done would be kept between the man of granite and the woman of flesh.
She felt relieved, like some sort of twisted closure had occurred between her and Zero. She composes herself, straightened herself up, when there was a burst of wind throughout the room, hitting Nina softly.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Nina didn't dare move. That voice was familiar. Far too familiar. That voice belonged to a dead man.
"I'm sorry... for what I did to you. But it was for the best."
"It wasn't for the best! You killed her! And he killed you!"
"I have atoned for my sins, as Suzaku has."
"But that's not fair! You weren't supposed to die! You were supposed to be Princess Euphemia's memory! I was supposed to... supposed to..." She was growing hysterical, tempted to look behind her, but couldn't bring herself to evewn try.
"Kill me? Be grateful I'm dead."
"I can't be! Not with both of you gone... What is left for the world now?!"
"Nunnally will--"
Tears fell hard behind glasses. "Nunnally isn't either of you, and I never... I never loved..."
"I know."
"You're not even living in this world anymore!... So how could you ever know?!"
A pause between both dead man and scientist. "Call it a power of mine."
"Like all your other damned powers... The world is without you, and now what are we to do?"
"Figure it out, Nina. I always admired such intelligence in you..."
At that she turned around, And there he was, standing tall, elegant, poised. He looked regal, his princely nature evident, his smile kind, and yet, condescending. It was him. It was the emperor. Alive. Lelouch, with dark hair, and slim figure. And yet, it wasn't. Lelouch had violet eyes--
Not red.
He smirked, extending a hand to her. "I see you're still well."
She backed away, retreating into herself, staring into his eyes. "You didn't..."
"No, Nina. I'm still here."
She shut her eyes, sobbing, the room spinning, the whole world a lie. She didn't want him to be there, she wanted his to stay forever. she wanted Euphemia back, she wanted him. She was the first girl she had ever loved, and he was the one who took her away, and yet... she loved him too. She felt sick, her mind not even registering her surroundings; this was wrong. He was supposed to be dead, there was no way in any reality that he could've ever survived that. If the destruction of internal organs didn't do it, he would've bled to death anyway... She tried calculating, she tried thinking of other faces, but all she saw was his with red eyes and a smirk, the gunshots echoing with his voice.
"No, Nina. I'm still here."
She looked up, ready to scream at him, tell him to stop existing, but when she raised her head, there was not a single soul to be found. And all that was witness to that was a statue, a scientist, and bright moonlight.
xoxo
He was dead.
Dead meant dead. Heartbeat stopped, breathing ceased, body decomposing. Dead did not mean conversations were still held, jokes were made, worlds taken over. Dead always meant dead. People did not come back to life to spite the living, to prove their existence was nothing but a ruse, or to mock the deceased, to show how unfortunate they were.
Lelouch, however cruel he was, would never do that. For he was dead.
And Nina believed that. Science had never said anything other wise; why would it now? He had been stabbed all the way through his body, Zero unleashing nothing but chaos until the end. It was his ascend, and then his downfall. There was no way in any reality he could've lived through that. If the destruction of internal organs didn't do it, he would've bled to death anyway.
And the mausoleum solidified he was gone.
Still, she didn't feel at peace with him dead. She still hated him. She still hated Zero. She didn't avenge Princess Euphemia like she promised. Zero had killed... well, Lelouch, who was Zero. Which was scientifically impossible, alternate realities and stable time loops notwithstanding. Zero couldn't be killed by Zero. But impostors could kill legends.
Still, she was neither impostor or assassin, and both Euphemia and Lelouch were dead. There was nothing she could do to change anything that had happened. No matter if she hated him or loved her.
She still saw their pictures about, his becoming as ruined as hers was, and she felt a pang of hurt. Nina never wanted Lelouch, her friend, to die. She had always admired him for handling their president so well, being logical, being like she wanted to be. She never loved him, never had a real interest in him, just found him to be someone she could aspire to be if she ever wanted to live that way. But he was Zero, the man who stole her first real love.
For that, she loathed him.
Euphemia was so pure and gentle, and if ever anything else, perhaps too sheltered, or quite impulsive. But Nina loved all of her. Her generosity, her determination, her curiosity, her kindness... Every bit of her was perfect. Then Zero, that devil, that bastard. All she could remember before she knew who he was truly was how destructive, how horrible he was. His voice would speak in her head, with gunshots echoing, her princess silenced by him. She hated him. She hated him. Nina hated Zero for what he was willing to steal from the world for his own gain.
But when she found out it was Lelouch... Something didn't feel right. She could hate a faceless monster. But Nunnally's gentle big brother with a charming smile and violet eyes? He was so good to her... It felt wrong to want him dead. But she did, and that F.L.E.I.J.A. had already been fired to kill him. She was guilty for the deaths of innocent people, she could not bear to hate him as much as she did.
But now, they were one and the same. She had committed murder, like he had. She was a criminal, like he was. She was deranged and desperate, like he had always been.
Science didn't care about people. Science didn't have to. Lloyd told her that, and she'd have to believe it until she died. But if it didn't care, then all those deaths were for naught. All of the Tokyo Settlement, those Black Knights, Clovis, Euphemia... she had to care. Lelouch must've cared as well. He had to have... He was no scientist, genius or not.
But he was now dead. She never had to worry about him hurting someone she cared for again. Even her own heart was spared forever more.
And there she was, standing in front of that mausoleum, flowers in hand, tears in her eyes, and for all that she hoped to see his grave, she had come to admire him more than she had ever before, and perhaps even love him. Part of him. His willpower, his charisma, his devotion to anything he wished so. She didn't love him for his treachery, his willingness to lie, but for all he did for people he never even met.
It was beyond admirable, beyond anything she could ever do.
It was silent, as no one had dared visit the memorial to such a monster, and only one little flower rested by his statue. It was a beautifully constructed building; only the best was permitted for the emperor. Stone, solid, like that of cathedrals, and stained-glass windows in the very front, with images of lilies. At night, the sun could not dance through the panes, but with moonlight... Nina stepped inside, her shadow melting into all the others, her heart racing. She didn't want to be there. She did want to be there. She wanted to run. She couldn't move. It was Lelouch. It was Zero. It was the Emperor. It was her friend. So many contradictions. But she did what she came to do.
Inhaling, she stepped forward, and laid the bouquet at the base of the statue, and looked up. Even in stone, a commanding presence, hand outstretched to take the entire world. She wanted to be like that, sure of herself, brilliant, almost perfect. He was like Euphemia, but not. He was something else entirely, something far more enigmatic. And upon looking into those stone eyes, she felt something inside of her break. Shatter. Twist and snap.
"Lelouch, I think... I think I do... love..."
She gasped, and covered her mouth, but nodded for the statue to see, like Lelouch was still alive and listening. If he were alive, she would've been rejected, but stone could not speak. Science had no heart to love, and rock had no voice to tell. A mismatched pair, but a pair nonetheless. She felt horrible, wrong, saying 'love' when she knew it just wasn't possible. Lelouch wasn't Euphemia.
But he was damn close.
She sunk to her knees, and started to cry. It was only for him, her worst enemy in both love and life, to see, but then, if she was the only one there...
Hands unfastened clothing, reaching for covered places, undoing hair ties. Nina was dirty for doing something like that, but there was no one to see, only a statue, a scientist, and bright moonlight. She felt like he, Lelouch was really there, egging her on, telling her she was brilliant, she was beautiful, she was someone he had admired. It didn't have to be love. it didn't even have to be like. It only had to be admiration. That she was worthy of him. She gasped, sighed, moaned, and then... it was all done. Nothing more to be had. What she had done would be kept between the man of granite and the woman of flesh.
She felt relieved, like some sort of twisted closure had occurred between her and Zero. She composes herself, straightened herself up, when there was a burst of wind throughout the room, hitting Nina softly.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Nina didn't dare move. That voice was familiar. Far too familiar. That voice belonged to a dead man.
"I'm sorry... for what I did to you. But it was for the best."
"It wasn't for the best! You killed her! And he killed you!"
"I have atoned for my sins, as Suzaku has."
"But that's not fair! You weren't supposed to die! You were supposed to be Princess Euphemia's memory! I was supposed to... supposed to..." She was growing hysterical, tempted to look behind her, but couldn't bring herself to evewn try.
"Kill me? Be grateful I'm dead."
"I can't be! Not with both of you gone... What is left for the world now?!"
"Nunnally will--"
Tears fell hard behind glasses. "Nunnally isn't either of you, and I never... I never loved..."
"I know."
"You're not even living in this world anymore!... So how could you ever know?!"
A pause between both dead man and scientist. "Call it a power of mine."
"Like all your other damned powers... The world is without you, and now what are we to do?"
"Figure it out, Nina. I always admired such intelligence in you..."
At that she turned around, And there he was, standing tall, elegant, poised. He looked regal, his princely nature evident, his smile kind, and yet, condescending. It was him. It was the emperor. Alive. Lelouch, with dark hair, and slim figure. And yet, it wasn't. Lelouch had violet eyes--
Not red.
He smirked, extending a hand to her. "I see you're still well."
She backed away, retreating into herself, staring into his eyes. "You didn't..."
"No, Nina. I'm still here."
She shut her eyes, sobbing, the room spinning, the whole world a lie. She didn't want him to be there, she wanted his to stay forever. she wanted Euphemia back, she wanted him. She was the first girl she had ever loved, and he was the one who took her away, and yet... she loved him too. She felt sick, her mind not even registering her surroundings; this was wrong. He was supposed to be dead, there was no way in any reality that he could've ever survived that. If the destruction of internal organs didn't do it, he would've bled to death anyway... She tried calculating, she tried thinking of other faces, but all she saw was his with red eyes and a smirk, the gunshots echoing with his voice.
"No, Nina. I'm still here."
She looked up, ready to scream at him, tell him to stop existing, but when she raised her head, there was not a single soul to be found. And all that was witness to that was a statue, a scientist, and bright moonlight.