Okay life. I give up. You win.
So yeah, a whole of ranting ahead.
I still believe in God even if he gave me this useless life. My only question is as to why. I really have no purpose. I get up, take care of my mom, try to avoid getting into fights with my brother, try to keep peace in the house, and my only reprieve is when I sleep.
You may call me a whiner. I don't care. I never get a chance to whine and question why. And I'm not exaggerating. Who am I going to go to? My mom who has so many fucking problems she can barely form a coherent sentence nowadays? My grandmother who thinks my purpose in life is to take care of my mother and to never complain about anything? Or my bi-polar, alcoholic, narcissistic brother who couldn't care less? And forget about my extended family they're content in their own pieces of perfect.
The only joy I get out of life is going online and some shows on the TV. Its come down to that, really. And there are days where I'm so depressed I don't even want to do that; I just lie on the couch and blank out.
As shitty as things are not I'm not going to give up. I can be worth something someday. I just don't how to get there or how the hell I'm supposed to get out of my house. Its always been my goddamn job to take care of my mom and she's never going to get better. But I will get out one day.
Also, dear brother of mine, you are not all knowing. You may be charming at times but your constant whining and drinking and yelling only makes me want to wish you were gone. Not dead per se - I may want to watch you struggle for the rest of your miserable existence, but yes, just go the hell away. You're deterring mom from getting better and you're driving me insane with your bitching. Shut the fuck up for once.
I still believe in God even if he gave me this useless life. My only question is as to why. I really have no purpose. I get up, take care of my mom, try to avoid getting into fights with my brother, try to keep peace in the house, and my only reprieve is when I sleep.
You may call me a whiner. I don't care. I never get a chance to whine and question why. And I'm not exaggerating. Who am I going to go to? My mom who has so many fucking problems she can barely form a coherent sentence nowadays? My grandmother who thinks my purpose in life is to take care of my mother and to never complain about anything? Or my bi-polar, alcoholic, narcissistic brother who couldn't care less? And forget about my extended family they're content in their own pieces of perfect.
The only joy I get out of life is going online and some shows on the TV. Its come down to that, really. And there are days where I'm so depressed I don't even want to do that; I just lie on the couch and blank out.
As shitty as things are not I'm not going to give up. I can be worth something someday. I just don't how to get there or how the hell I'm supposed to get out of my house. Its always been my goddamn job to take care of my mom and she's never going to get better. But I will get out one day.
Also, dear brother of mine, you are not all knowing. You may be charming at times but your constant whining and drinking and yelling only makes me want to wish you were gone. Not dead per se - I may want to watch you struggle for the rest of your miserable existence, but yes, just go the hell away. You're deterring mom from getting better and you're driving me insane with your bitching. Shut the fuck up for once.