(no subject)
On second thought, I am cutting this for potentially triggering content! Discussion of the recent Wincon stuff under the cut.
Here is, pretty much, what I keep coming back to in all of this that's been going down. One statement: "Press charges or shut UP." For one, holy victim-blaming, Batman, that is not okay at all.
For another, in the case of going to a con, the way to press charges is to go to the organizers of the con and say "This happened and made me uncomfortable." Which, from what I have seen, someone did outside of the anon meme, at the con in question. That is what you do. You do not have to go to a court and say "This happened and made me feel uncomfortable." Going to a con, especially a fan-run con, is not a constitutional right. You do not get a full trial to determine your eligibility. It's up to the con organizers, and they feel they have sufficient proof. That's their call.
On a related note, I saw a few comments to the effect of "now that proof is being demanded, they're backing down, of course." Well, um. You cannot actually PROVE that someone made you feel skeevy. You can say "This happened and made me feel uncomfortable," but you probably didn't take pictures or anything. Maybe when you do this, they really are full of shit. On the other hand, chances are better, in our culture, that when you say "HA HA, MY DEMANDS FOR PROOF ARE WEAKENING THE ENEMY!" you are making the person who feels they have suffered sexual abuse think, "Well, I guess I don't have a videotape of me being upset, so I guess I really can't prove anything, so I guess nothing bad actually happened..." And that's terrible.
I really don't know what actually happened in terms of banning, or bad communication, or any of that. I don't! I don't claim to. But there is nothing that has been said publicly in defense of "prove it" that has made me feel safe or comfortable. I understand that these are upsetting accusations to have thrown at you, and that it's hard to have people say, well, you should take this person's feelings into account, when you yourself are so hurt. But there's a difference between defending yourself (here is what happened, and how I saw the events) and attacking someone else ("And while you're at it, go die in your little pathetic anonymous corner, you hypocritical, cowardly, LYING fucks"). Attacking someone else repeatedly, even, because there are now three posts about this from the OP, and none of them acknowledge at all that someone might have been made uncomfortable. Only the belief that because there are no formal charges and no "proof," nothing bad happened.
Here is, pretty much, what I keep coming back to in all of this that's been going down. One statement: "Press charges or shut UP." For one, holy victim-blaming, Batman, that is not okay at all.
For another, in the case of going to a con, the way to press charges is to go to the organizers of the con and say "This happened and made me uncomfortable." Which, from what I have seen, someone did outside of the anon meme, at the con in question. That is what you do. You do not have to go to a court and say "This happened and made me feel uncomfortable." Going to a con, especially a fan-run con, is not a constitutional right. You do not get a full trial to determine your eligibility. It's up to the con organizers, and they feel they have sufficient proof. That's their call.
On a related note, I saw a few comments to the effect of "now that proof is being demanded, they're backing down, of course." Well, um. You cannot actually PROVE that someone made you feel skeevy. You can say "This happened and made me feel uncomfortable," but you probably didn't take pictures or anything. Maybe when you do this, they really are full of shit. On the other hand, chances are better, in our culture, that when you say "HA HA, MY DEMANDS FOR PROOF ARE WEAKENING THE ENEMY!" you are making the person who feels they have suffered sexual abuse think, "Well, I guess I don't have a videotape of me being upset, so I guess I really can't prove anything, so I guess nothing bad actually happened..." And that's terrible.
I really don't know what actually happened in terms of banning, or bad communication, or any of that. I don't! I don't claim to. But there is nothing that has been said publicly in defense of "prove it" that has made me feel safe or comfortable. I understand that these are upsetting accusations to have thrown at you, and that it's hard to have people say, well, you should take this person's feelings into account, when you yourself are so hurt. But there's a difference between defending yourself (here is what happened, and how I saw the events) and attacking someone else ("And while you're at it, go die in your little pathetic anonymous corner, you hypocritical, cowardly, LYING fucks"). Attacking someone else repeatedly, even, because there are now three posts about this from the OP, and none of them acknowledge at all that someone might have been made uncomfortable. Only the belief that because there are no formal charges and no "proof," nothing bad happened.