[Cowritten with
lil_nellie. Set after
THIS.]
It had been a long day and a lot of thoughts had been circling through Nellie's head. She still couldn't clearly define them, but she knew she was tired. And she knew she was really tired of the awkward with Ben. When she got home it was late so she changed into some warm pajama's and looked down at Ben's door. She couldn't see any light, but she knew he was in there. She saw no evidence of one of his dirty sluts - not that they really were, but she says so - and so she crept down the hall and pushed his door open. She saw him asleep in his bed, so she closed the door behind herself and moved over. Pulling the blankets up a bit, she slid herself in beside him. It was nothing new, but she couldn't remember the last time she really needed to be close to him.
She wiggled in close with a long sigh and closed her eyes.
Ben felt someone slide into bed next to him, and he frowned slightly, before opening one eye to see who it was. When he saw that it was Nellie, he breathed a slight sigh of relief -- at least the awkward was over -- and rolled over slightly, sliding an arm across her waist and pulling her closer. Her body instantly relaxed against his as she moved closer. She tucked her head against his chest and just lay there against him.
He sat there quietly for a moment, before speaking up softly. "This mean we're okay?"
"I hope so," she murmured, tipping her head up to look at him.
"Good," he said with a nod, kissing her forehead lightly as he pulled her closer.
"I'm sorry I freaked out on you."
"'s okay," he said softly, closing his eyes again. "It happens."
"Yea," she said softly, casting her eyes down.
He opened his eyes to look at her again, before starting to rub her back lightly. "You okay?"
"Don't really know," she said honestly. She thought quietly for a bit. "I...I don't want them to stop likin' me."
"Don't want who to stop liking you?"
She was still looking down, fiddling with his shirt a bit. "Miranda and the other girls...Sunny…Mitch..." She shrugged a bit.
"Why are you worried about that?"
She felt tears on her cheeks so she wasn't about to look at him again. "I...I never really had alotta friends at once." She shrugged. "I don't..I mean, they might."
"They might, but they might not. These people -- they tend to be for life."
"No one's for life," she muttered.
"You're stuck with me for life," he said softly. "Whether you like it or not."
She looked up at him, watching his eyes. Even though she knew it, she needed to see it.
Ben looked back at her, continuing to rub her back as he wondered what she was looking for.
Her hand reached out to his cheek, feeling a warm relief slipping through her. And something else. All those thoughts about how it was Ben that made her happy. Not even that...she just was happy around him. Then, hardly realizing she was doing it, she inched herself up slightly and brushed her lips to his.
Ben's eyes closed briefly at the kiss, not pushing at it any but responding a little, just as long as she held the kiss. Heart suddenly pounding, Nellie pulled back. She looked at him in confusion - almost as if he'd been the one to initiate it. Thoughts were processing in her head. Ben returned the confused look, wondering what exactly was going through her head.
"I'm happy with you," she said softly, giving a little shrug. The confusion started to fade from her eyes as it all began to click into place.
"I'm happy with you too," he said, frowning slightly.
"In what way?"
"In all ways?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
She nodded, not sure what she was supposed to say. "Maybe...we should...just be happy," she said softly. She leaned up to kiss him softly again.
Things were starting to click for him to, and he sighed softly as he leaned into the kiss, moving one hand up to cup the side of her face. Nellie sighed with a soft cry in her throat when he responded as he did. She pushed herself closer and moved her arms around his neck. He moved his arm down around her back, and he pulled her in closer, getting her as close as possible.
She got herself closer, sliding her leg up against his hip. Her hand slipped to his chest and she pulled away breathlessly. "Ben.."
"Yeah?" he said, looking back at her, worried that he'd overstepped a line or misread something.
"If...if we...I want this to mean somethin'," she said in a slightly begging tone.
He paused for a minute before looking down at her. "This is you, Nellie. It could never not mean something."
She nodded and moved back to resume the kiss, clinging to him tightly and running her hand under his shirt to rest on his chest. He leaned into the kiss as well, letting his hand slide back against her face and into her hair. Her hand moved against his skin slowly as she tried to get her body closer to his. It felt so different than with other guys and she wanted to feel everything. His hand started to move down her back again, pushing her closer and letting his fingers trail softly over her thighs.
She let out a moan at his touch and slid her legs closer around his waist, pressing her hips closer. He groaned slightly into the kiss, his fingers tightening around her leg as she moved closer. Her nails hit his chest at that and she pulled back from the kiss, distracted by the sensations running through her. Eyes closed, she bit down on her lip. He pulled away and his head flopped back against the bed, before looking back up at her. He wasn't sure what was going through her head, but -- he wasn't complaining.
She looked back at him, a slight frown on her lips. She didn't understand why he had stopped and she immediately started thinking the worst. "Do you...not want.."
"No -- nonono," he said shaking his head. "I do -- trust me, I do. I'm just -- trying to figure out where this was coming from."
"I don't know," she admitted. "Wasn't exactly what I was goin' for when I came in..."
"I had a feeling," he said with a shrug. He started to move in closer, pulling her in. "Let's just take it slow, okay?"
She moved in against him. "That's kinda hard," she said lightly.
His eyes closed for a moment, before responding. "I think we can manage. Just until we figure out -- what's going on."
She bit her lip, half innocent - half not innocent at all, and looked at him. "So what can we do?" Her fingers moved through his hair and down the back of his neck.
"Oh, you're evil," he said quickly. "And -- we could probably do that kissing thing."
She leaned close, nipping his lips lightly. "And a little bit of touching?" She smirked.
He gave her a bit of a look back. "I'm not sure about the touching. The touching might get me into trouble."
She pouted for a bit, then leaned closer. "Okay. Gonna kiss me then?"
"Yup," he nodded, before leaning in to do just that.
She relaxed against him and wrapped her arm around his neck, kissing him back. He just leaned back and enjoyed the kiss, letting his hands rest comfortably against her back. After awhile she pulled from him, despite breaks for air, she was tired now. She curled against him and rested her head to his chest. A small smile was on her lips. Ben pulled her in closer and rest his chin on top of her head, just letting her stay close until he drifted off to sleep.