Ways Ben has Decided He Doesn't Want to Die Through His Internship at the Morgue:- Stabbed ( Read more... )

This really isn't a wise choice, telling me to introduce myself. You may wind up getting my entire life story, without even realizing it, because I tend to just keep talking and talking, and I don't really know how to stop myself. It is a bit frustrating at times, but really, if you tell me to stop rambling, I'll shut up. I swear ( Read more... )

Isn't it just pleasant to wake up to the smell of boiling flesh?

Things About Benjamin Anthony Malone, Jr. (in which he tells you possibly more than you would ever need to know):- My name is Benjamin Anthony Malone, Jr. My initials spell out one of Emeril's favorite catchphrases. I prefer to just be referred to as Ben, however. Nice, simple. Easy ( Read more... )

It's simple math.

Val + surprise party = BAD IDEA.