WordContest 2004.06.24

[poormattie]

In honor of the fact that Ambrose Bierce's birthday was today (back in 1842), I'm running a little contest.

If you're not familiar with Bierce, he's a 19th century author. One work that he's particularly well-known for is The Devil's Dictionary. This was a newspaper serialization of many satirical definitions that, at times, pushed the envelope

Comments

[montanaisaleg]

weblog (n): A place for people to record their various acts of heresy for easier processing of their souls after death.

terrorism (n): The form of government practiced in hell. Similar to fascism, only "bigger."

NASA (abbrv): National Association of Satan the Antichrist. A largely unknown government entity that is comprised of the IRS, CIA, FBI, and several others.

reboot (v): To repeat the act of excommunication, which is itself only necessary for those with no credit cards (see below).

credit card (n): The ticket used by the holy to get into heaven. This is done by swiping the credit card through a "credit card machine" at your local church many many times, until the church has decided that you are holy enough to get into heaven.

[alarmist]

weblog (n.): a device used by the jejune to record the picayune.

terrorism (n.): when others do unto us as we have longed to do unto them.

NASA (n.): an agency charged with the holy task of seeking out new and interesting landscapes to lay waste to, as we have already laid waste to the one we have here.

reboot (v.): a panacea hawked by snake-oil salesmen as a sure-fire cure for whatever ails our computers (and thus, ourselves).

credit card (n.): the result of thousands of years of time and effort spent trying to find ways to defeat the Law of Conservation.

[jorend]

a device used by the jejune to record the picayune

ownership

[tuxmatt]

You know, I think you and Ambrose would have gotten along well.

[jorend]

weblog, n. A venue used by some persons to record their darkest, innermost secrets and broadcast them to all the corners of the Earth. The immunity of these persons from swift and awful death is one of the most striking proofs of God's mercy to those that hate Him.

terrorism, n. Violence, or the threat of violence, against the incumbent.

NASA, n. A government agency dedicated to going in circles and staring into space, distinguished from other government agencies by the letters "NASA" in its name.

reboot, v.i. To take a brief break from work, in the hope that one's troubles will be gone when one returns.

credit card, n. An instrument similar to a cornucopia, but with consequences.

[jorend]

Do we get three tries?

credit card, n. An item of great interest.

[daniele]

I can not think of a more perfect DDD (Devil's Dictionary Definition) for NASA.. that is excellent.