Something New (Jon/Ryan)

[jae_w]

Title: Something New
Recipient: lyo
Author: stealstheashes
Band: The Young Veins
Pairing: Jon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~5,000
Summary: Ryan finds out the hard way that marriage to Jon Walker is no joke.
Notes: Thank you to L. for the beta and S. for her encouragement.
Warnings: none



The first time Ryan Ross married Jon Walker there was no cake. Every time Jon told someone they got married-a symbolic commitment to their new venture-Ryan added, "But there wasn't cake."

After the first half dozen times, Jon stopped mentioning the twinkie. Ryan had mashed it into his face after Jon pushed the twist-tie ring onto his finger at Alex's instructions as Z laughed and laughed and laughed.

Jon remembered the cake and Ryan saved the twist-tie ring in his wallet but neither of them remembered actually getting a marriage license or that Alex had gotten himself ordained as an internet minister as a lark a few weeks earlier.

Or at least, they didn't remember it until James Montgomery wrote an article about their secret love, linking to a copy of the marriage license and certificate.

Ryan blinked at the article and then scrolled down through his phone book until he hit Jmoney and dialed. He went straight to voicemail and, finding himself unable to think of anything more coherent than, “What???” he simply hung up. His phone started ringing almost immediately; unsurprisingly it was James.

“Hellooooooooo,” Ryan said, drawing the word out to waste time.

“I'm hurt, Ross. I thought we were close.”

Ryan was never sure how serious James was being, so he just said, “It was a small ceremony.” It had the added benefit of being true.

“How small?” James asked.

“It was-” Ryan paused and thought. “You're not taking notes, are you?”

“Nooooo,” James said, sounding guilty, which meant he probably had been.

“Look, this is between you and me, okay?”

James was silent. “Ryan, I know we're good friends, but I have a journalistic obligation to report the truth. I-” he trailed off and Ryan smiled. He'd been hoping James would say something like that.

“Okay, on the record then, it was a joke. You know how things are when you're bored and hanging around between tours and recording. We're not sure how the papers got filed, but we'll be taking care of things as soon as we can.”

“A joke?”

“Well, it was funnier at the time. Come on, I love Jon like a brother.”

A few more questions and James was clearly eager to wrap up the phone call and get to writing. Ryan was pretty pleased as he refreshed MTV's site, waiting for the revisions to be put into place. He'd taken care of the entire thing, without even having to involve Jon.

Ryan texted him to give him a heads up that it had been dealt with because Jon was back in Chicago for a bit before coming to LA to jam and practice before they headed east for the tour. Ryan thought it was a little strange that Jon didn't respond, but he also went to radio silence on twitter, so Ryan figured Jon was just making the most of his time in Chicago until he went to LAX to pick Jon up from his plane and Jon never arrived.

Even then, Ryan figured he'd gotten the date wrong or that he'd lost a day or two in a waking dream or a cloud of smoke, but Alex confirmed that he hadn't, and besides, his phone agreed with Alex. So he texted Jon and paid for the wi-fi so he could check the flight number in the email. He felt vindicated when it turned out the number he'd jotted down on his hand was correct, but he checked every arrival from Chicago anyway. If it had been anyone else, He would have probably left ages ago but it was Jon. Ryan always picked Jon up when he flew in and Jon crashed with him and Alex and whoever else was living with them at the time. Not that there weren't a half a dozen other people Jon knew in California-Pete and Spencer and Brendon and Shane, for starters-but Jon always stayed with Ryan. Always.

He was starting to wonder if he should move because the TSA agent was starting to glance at him suspiciously when his phone finally buzzed in his pocket. It was Jon and he looked up, hoping if he squinted he'd see Jon in the distance, heading towards him. He didn't though, so he went back to read the text. Then he blinked and read it again, trying to figure out if he'd missed something the first time around. It was just as strange though-Change of plans, will meet you for tour in Chicago.

So Ryan guessed Jon wasn't coming. Ryan wondered if it was something seriously wrong, and that was why Jon hadn't told him. He texted back Is something wrong? and hung around the airport for a bit longer, waiting for a reply, half-waiting to see if wishing Jon there would work, finally heading home half an hour later when twitpiccing random parts of the airport grew old and Jon still hadn't replied.

---

Ryan figured that when he got to Chicago he'd be able to talk to Jon about whatever was wrong, so he didn't worry about it too much. It did seem a little weird to him that Jon wasn't answering his texts or emails, but Ryan figured that he was just busy. He was probably cramming in some extra time with his Chicago people, and with his family. Jon really was a family person, from his old man sweaters to the way he helped his parents. Ryan found it kind of adorable, and he tried not to resent the fact that Jon had other people that he was spending time with who weren't Ryan.

Mostly Ryan spent the plane ride anticipating seeing Jon again. He couldn't stop thinking about it which was kind of silly because it had only been like a month since Jon had gone back to Chicago.

The second the plane touched down, Ryan turned his phone back on and texted Jon. am taxiing he sent. One bump of his head on the seat in front of him, a near collision with luggage that had shifted in the overhead bin during the flight, and a fall while attempting to get off moving walkway later, Jon finally responded where are you?

Ryan looked up and checked, then texted back terminal a and headed straight out. He looked for Jon or Jon's car, but he didn't see either, so he pushed his suitcase against a concrete pillar and sat on it, figuring they'd show up sooner or later.

It wasn't very long before a horn started honking; it took Ryan a moment to realize it might be for him and put down his book. He still didn't see Jon's car, but there was no one else waiting and the car kept honking, so he shoved his book in the pocket of his coat and started moving towards it.

Jon actually was in the car, driving, and Tom was shotgun; there was someone else-Sean, Ryan thought, though he wasn't entirely sure looking through the dirty window-in the back.

Ryan waited a beat too long, as if he expected Jon to get out and say something, what he wasn't sure, but something only he didn't and then Tom was rolling down the window.

“Trunk's open,” he said, as if that was what Ryan was waiting for and Ryan chose to pretend it had been.

“Regular welcoming committee,” he commented when he got in the car.

“Jonny-boy wasn't sure if he'd have to wait for you,” Tom said, leaning back over the seat. “He told the rest of the guys enough stories about you and time, and well, I know from experience, so Sean and I figured we'd keep him company in case you missed your plane.”

“I'm not the one who missed his plane,” Ryan muttered, but Tom had already turned back around, already deep in conversation with Jon that was just low enough that Ryan couldn't easily join in. He settled back and turned to Sean. “So, looking forward to the tour?” he asked, and when Sean started talking, Ryan zoned out, murmuring responses when the conversation paused.

---

The first show of the tour was in Chicago, a sort of concert/goodbye party for Empires since they were going to be on the road for a couple of months. Jon said their instruments were ready and waiting for them when Ryan asked if he wanted to practice before; Ryan took that as a no.

“The couch is all yours,” Jon said, as he dropped a pillow and a blanket on the end of it. “Sorry but Andy and Nick already claimed the guestroom.”

Ryan was going to ask if someone else was already sharing Jon's room or if he could bunk there, but the thought of Jon sleeping with someone else pissed him off and by the time he pushed the feeling down, Jon had already disappeared again.

He plopped on the sofa and set to work coaxing Clover out from where she was hiding under the coffee table.

By the time Jon came out, Ryan was covered in pets; Clover on his lap and Dylan pushing against his legs, pretending to be too dignified to be petted, but stretching out and purring when Ryan scratched behind his ears anyway.

“The guys are heading over to Nick's for dinner. Grilled cheese,” Jon said. “Unless you have plans?”

“My only plan's to spend time with you,” Ryan said, watching as Jon smiled a strange, crooked smile.

---

Dinner had been awkward from the first, “Oh, Ryan!” Apparently, no one had expected him to show up. They kept looking from him to Jon, as if something was going on that Ryan didn't know.

Ryan refrained from saying anything through grilled cheese and beers and karaoke, but when he and Jon were on his way back, he couldn't stop himself from saying something any longer.

“What was going on tonight?” he asked, and when Jon didn't say anything, Ryan nudged Jon's leg with his. Jon jumped like he'd been burned then said, “Well, they read the article. I think everyone has.”

“Well I figured. It was kind of weird that they haven't been roasting us about it.”

“They also read your retraction,” Jon said, as if that explained it, which made no sense, and when Ryan said as much, Jon said, “Look, it's fine, it was a joke to you.”

“It's not like you thought the wedding was real either. I married Z a couple months before,” Ryan said. “If anyone should be mad, it's her. She married a bigamist.”

“Oh fuck you. At least you didn't say you 'loved her like a sister' to a reporter afterwards.”

Ryan ducked his head at that. “I didn't mean it like that, Jon. I just-I didn't want it to be a thing, like the stage show was.”

“Don't worry, we're not a thing. It was just hooking up to you, I get it.”

“It was just hooking up to you too!” Ryan didn't get where Jon was coming from. It had been a joke and okay, then they'd had sex, but Ryan had thought it was casual. He'd never thought Jon wanted anything more than laughter and easy touches. He wasn't entirely sure what he would have done if he'd thought Jon had wanted more than that.

“No,” Jon said. “It wasn't.” Jon looked as sad as Ryan had ever seen him-as sad as he looked when he watched those pet rescue shows, as sad as he'd looked when they realized Panic wasn't working anymore-and Ryan hated thinking that this time he was the one who'd made Jon look like that.

Before Ryan could think of anything to say, a way to take his words back, a way to fix it, Jon said, “Look, I need some time, okay?” and apparently he took Ryan's silence as assent because with that he left Ryan alone in the hotel room. Ryan wasn't sure where Jon went-they were supposed to share that night-but he must have found somewhere else to sleep because Ryan was alone in the room until he managed to fall asleep and when he woke up there was still no one there.

---

The thing Ryan didn't like to admit he remembered about the wedding was the after. After Alex stumbled out and Z tripped after him, it had just been Ryan and Jon in the living room talking about nonsense and flipping channels. They'd watched infomercials for a while; there was one for something that sliced, diced and blended.

“We should have registered for that,” Ryan said.

“Yeah, and you could have sliced and diced your fingers.”

Ryan pinched at Jon's side and then leaned in more closely to him, to show he wasn't really angry. They watched the rest of the commercial, Jon continuing to comment, and a few more before the channel changed to the late late night religious channel and they went back to channel flipping.

Finally Jon switched to The Office because they had a bunch of episodes they hadn't deleted from Ryan's TiVo. It was the wedding episode, which was quite appropriate, as Ryan pointed out.

Jon agreed then said, as the Pam and Jim kissed, “Now that's a wedding kiss.”

“Are you saying that my kissing technique is inferior?” Ryan asked; he was proud that he'd managed to get that mouthful out.

Jon shrugged noncommittally and Ryan stood, swaying.

“We can't have that,” he said, moving forward until he was standing right in front of Jon, and then he knelt so he was straddling Jon's lap, bracing his arms against the couch to hold himself up. He waited for Jon to laugh at him, or push him away, but Jon didn't, and slowly Ryan leaned forward until he could feel Jon's breath hitting his lips.

The wedding kiss hadn't been much of a kiss at all, but Ryan hammed it up, acting like they were getting hot and heavy as a joke. When Z hooted and hollered, Ryan had broken it and blown a kiss to her. This kiss. It definitely wasn't a peck, or for anyone's entertainment. Or at least not anyone other than Ryan and Jon.

Jon opened his mouth to Ryan's and his hands slid up up up Ryan's back, holding him close. Ryan had admired Jon's arms on more than one occasion-he probably had the best arms in the band-but he hadn't exactly considered how they'd feel around him in anything more than a friendly embrace.

It felt good. More than good. And then Jon let go of him and Ryan would have been upset, but he was taking off his shirt. Ryan took advantage of the moment when his arms were tangled in the fabric, up above his head, to lean in and bite at Jon's neck.

Jon seemed to like that, from the way he tilted his head to give Ryan better access and the way his back arched.

“Still think I'm a lousy kisser?” Ryan asked, punctuating the question with another bite, drawing a moan from Jon.

It took him a moment to recover, but when he did, he said, “I don't know. I could use some more proof,” a wide grin on his face.

So Ryan pushed Jon back on the couch, pressing down on his shoulders to support himself long enough to see the look on Jon's face, to catch a moment of unguarded longing before he leaned in for another kiss, biting at Jon's lips. It wasn't long before Jon's hands were at his waist, urgently scrabbling at his pants and Ryan was arching to try and help him.

He didn't know what to expect at all, he hadn't expected this and he'd half figured they'd end up pulling away and laughing off, so he definitely didn't expect Jon to say, “Ryan, fuck me, please?” but there was no way he was saying no to that.

“Condom?” he asked. He knew he didn't have any, but he didn't expect Jon to reach straight for his pocket.

“Did you plan this?” Ryan asked, half joking, surprised when Jon shrugged sheepishly. Did that mean Jon had-but then he said, “Had it from the other night.” They'd gone to a club, and Ryan didn't question it then, didn't consider how rarely Jon went for casual hookups. He just rushed to find the lube, fingering Jon open quickly, then, when he noticed how Jon responded to his fingers, Ryan slowed down, crooking his fingers and watching for Jon's reaction, waiting until Jon said, “Ryan, please, enough,” to tear open the condom and roll it on. He waited another moment, propping himself over Jon and then Jon pulled him down and said, “Please,” again, his breathe warm against Ryan's ear, his legs wrapped tight around Ryan's waist.

Ryan moved as slowly as he could, but Jon kept making these needy little noises and pushing up, trying to make Ryan go deeper. Ryan managed to hold out just a little bit longer, drawing out the moment of anticipation before giving in to Jon and pushing in, deep as he could. He felt Jon's hand between them, and it wasn't long before Jon was tightening around Ryan, his orgasm pushing Ryan over the edge of his own.

---

Ryan hadn't been able to stop thinking about it, even if he'd tried, and apparently it had meant more to Jon than he'd realized. He figured he'd get to talk to Jon at some point the next day; he hadn't been able to stop thinking about what he'd say, how he'd get Jon to listen. The last time he remembered planning a conversation this well was pitching Panic at Pete.

Which had actually turned out mostly well, or at least the beginning had, and the thought gave him a slight sense of hope. It had lasted for all of ten or so minutes which, luckily, had been long enough to fall asleep.

So once Ryan had woken up, alone, he'd headed out. He was disproportionately glad to see the vans still in the hotel parking lot; it wasn't like they'd leave with out him but it was the first time in a while that he hadn't been able to count on Jon making sure he got where he was going. Jon actually kept him on track quite a bit, without being annoying about it like Spencer tended to be. Jon was just there and right and Ryan wondered if that was why he'd never thought of Jon as something more. He was just there until he wasn't and suddenly his absence meant everything.

The first place he checked was the free continental breakfast; after all, nothing was better than a free breakfast, and besides, they could stash extra juice boxes for mixers and the cereal for when they got the munchies. Most of the tour was there, taking up tables and horrifying the few families staying at the hotel with their unwashed states and their topics of conversation. Jon wasn't there though. He tried asking around casually, but everyone pretty much shrugged. Which was when Ryan noticed Tom was gone too, and the rest of the Chicago contingent. It wouldn't exactly be surprising for Jon to wander off with them, but Ryan felt a twinge of jealousy anyway.

It was only amplified when Jon wandered back, his arm around Tom's shoulders, laughing at something Tom said so hard that he had to lean heavily against Tom for support to keep from falling over.

Ryan stepped over, deserting a half-eaten danish and some lucky charms he'd had to fight a guitar tech for to the table. Tom whispered something just before he reached them that had Jon laughing even harder. He was practically crying, and Ryan could see how bright his eyes were. Ryan hated Tom a little just then. Hated him even more when he went quiet then said, "Ross," with a nod as Ryan approached, moving even closer to Jon.

"Hey," Ryan said. "Space for us in your van?" he asked, making him and Jon into a unit. Jon couldn't avoid talking to him if they were in the same van.

Tom glanced at Jon before saying, "Sure, there's plenty of room." and Ryan wondered what Jon had told him about their fight. From Tom's look, he was pretty sure it couldn't have been good.

---

Ryan decided the best way to make sure he ended up in the same van as Jon was to wait until Jon got in one and follow him, given the way Jon was trying to avoid him. So he lit a cigarette as an excuse to hang around the parking lot, and also because the action was soothing in its routine.

He kept trying to blow smoke rings, but he didn't have much success. Of course, Jon caught him making the most ridiculous face in his attempt and Ryan started to cough when Jon laughed. It escalated from coughing to choking on the smoke and then there was a hand on his back, patting it softly until his coughs subsided.

As soon as he stopped, the hand-and Jon-were gone. He hastily dropped the half smoked cigarette, scuffing it out with his foot, then heading after Jon.

He was in luck; Jon had gone for one of the bench seats, and Ryan slid in next to him.

“Thanks,” he said, bumping Jon's shoulder.

“First time?” Jon asked, sounding unfairly (and unfortunately justifiably) smug.

“Funny,” Ryan said. “Hey, listen-” and that was as far as he got with his plan because the door slid open again and in poured Empires.

Max was apparently driving, which, given Jon's stories, Ryan figured was a good thing. Ryan J had called shot-gun, and Sean and Max were having a territory war over the backseat. Tom was the last one in, and somehow he still managed to wedge himself in between Jon and Ryan.

“Hey guys,” he said, throwing his arms around their backs. “What's up?”

Ryan could tell right then that this was going to go about as well as dinner had the other night. He hated that Jon's overprotective friends seemed to think that Jon needed to be protected from Ryan, even if he couldn't entirely blame them.

---

Ryan's next plan involved bribing the guy in charge of the hotel rooms to put him and Jon together. It went off without a hitch, except for the fact that when Jon found out, he walked straight out of the hotel without saying a word to Ryan.

“He didn't take his key,” Ryan said, still holding it out awkwardly.

Tom grabbed it before Ryan could pull his hand back. “I'll take care of it,” he said before heading out after Jon.

Ryan wasn't sure what that meant exactly in Tom-speak, and not for the first time, he missed Jon.

---

Ryan waited up for a while, to see if Jon would show up, and when he didn't, Ryan went to find the roadies. He wasn't going to punish himself because of Jon when it wasn't his fault to begin with. So he joined the party, sharing in the alcohol passed around in tiny plastic cups the motel provided and taking a hit when the joint was passed around, but he didn't really know any of the guys, and besides, he found himself missing Jon. At least if he went back to his room, he could work on something or bother Z over aim.

The door was ajar when he got back, the lock propping it open, and Ryan pushed it carefully, trying to see if he could surprise Jon, but the room was empty as he'd left it. Almost as empty as he'd left it; in addition to his bag, there was a new bag, an old beat up one that didn't resemble anything he'd ever seen Jon with.

Why was evident when Tom walked in, carrying a bucket of ice.

“I thought Jon and I were rooming together,” Ryan said.

“We switched Ryans.”

It was a less than satisfactory answer but Tom was staring at Ryan in that creepy way he did, and Ryan didn't want to push it, especially if he was going to end up sharing a room with Tom anyway.

He went through his evening routine, brushing his teeth as he stared at himself in the mirror, then shucking off his pants and crawling into the hotel bed because it wasn't like there was anything else to do. Tom was flipping channels on the tv, and Ryan thought about asking him to turn it off or down, but then he considered that when Tom was staring at the tv he wasn't staring at Ryan and decided to let it be. He did grab his iPod though, putting music on just loud enough to drown out the sounds of the television.

Even though he wasn't really tired, between being in bed and the music, Ryan found himself drifting off. The only problem with going to bed so early was that he ended up waking up early too. Or at least it felt early. He flipped over to check the time, rubbing the crust from his eyes so he could see. The last thing he expected to find was Tom Conrad sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at him.

Ryan did what any normal person would do in such a situation: he screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Ross, you scream like a girl.”

Ryan flipped him the finger and checked the clock. It was three in the morning. Fuck.

He tried to get back to sleep, but he could feel Tom's eyes on him, boring into his back, and it made sleeping difficult. Finally he turned over again and asked, “Do you mind?”

“No,” Tom said and kept staring.

Ryan closed his eyes and tried counting sheep but it failed and finally he gave in to temptation and asked, “What is your problem?”

“I'm just trying to figure out why someone would hurt Jon Walker, who's pretty much the nicest guy I know."

Ryan didn't know what to say to that, other than, “I didn't mean to.” It sounded plaintive and pathetic, and while Tom's staring didn't abate, it felt a little less judging. “I didn't think it was serious,” he added.

“Well now you know,” Tom said. “So fix it.”

Apparently that was all the sage wisdom Tom had for him because after that he shoved the covers down, turned off the bedside lamp, and went to sleep. Ryan was jealous of Tom for the third time in less than so many days, this time because he could sleep instead of staying up, trying to figure out how to get back into Jon's good graces.

---

Jon was still avoiding Ryan, which left him without many options for doing so. It was hard to talk to someone seriously when they were always hanging around with people who were glaring at you like you killed puppies in your spare time. Tom was trying to be helpful, but was mainly succeeding in freaking Ryan out even more than he already was.

Ryan knew he had to get this right. He couldn't lose Jon.

So Ryan waited, patiently as he could, until they were at this venue that only had one entrance to the stage. It wasn't his side, so at the end of their set, he switched sides, so that Jon couldn't get off stage without passing him. They played one more song, and then Ryan handed his guitar off to one of the techs before rushing back to block Jon. He tried to brush by, but there wasn't enough space to, not without pushing Ryan out of the way, and even if Jon was mad, he wasn't that mad.

That was when Ryan knelt down, in front of everyone on the stage.

“So some of you might have read a little article, about Jon and I getting married,” he said into the mic. “Man, have I been in the doghouse for letting that one out of the bag. So I figured I ought to propose properly to make up for it.” His words were nearly drowned out by the screams and he was pretty sure this was going to make it on youtube within the hour, but that wasn't important. What was important was that he had Jon's attention.

“Jonathon Jacob Walker,” he said, his voice full of barely contained laughter at the alliteration. “Will you marry me again?”

Jon was just staring at him, like he didn't have any idea what to say, which meant it was time for Ryan to try the big guns. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and rifled through it until he found the twist-tie ring, holding it out to Jon. He dropped the microphone so that it wouldn't pick up his words and said, “It wasn't a joke to me either. I'm sorry.”

“Get up,” Jon said, grabbing Ryan's hand in an attempt to pull him up. Ryan refused to unbend his knees.

“Not until you say yes,” he said.

“Yes, you idiot. Now get up so we can get off stage and I can molest you properly.”

At that, Ryan sprang to his feet. “He said yes, again folks!” he said into his mic before handing it off to the stagehand who'd come to try to usher them off, and dragging Jon off with him. He heard Andy trying to make their excuses and laughed; he'd have to get used to that if he was going to stick around.

Ryan and Jon gave the rest of the show a pass that night in favor of finding their way to the hotel and enthusiastically renewing their vows.