[fic] grey walls
Title: Grey Walls
Author: poppedeggplant
Pairing: akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: angst, romance
Disclaimer: Plot is mine, the boys aren’t. Sadly.
Summary: This is a story of pain and its many variations.
A/N: back with some angst, after like ten thousand years of not writing it… I just needed to write something.
.
He’s always been pushed away, kicked aside, used and unwanted. It’s his life, it’s only natural for him to cling onto fading lights, relying on hopes that never existed, and believing in loves that will never happen. He knew it himself too, that it was his fate to be unloved. And he could do nothing but accept it.
It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t ask to be cursed with what was deemed to be a hopeless future. To have been born into this world with no one to care for him, to have been thrown around orphanages, to have been looked after by deceitful bastards and then to have been not looked after at all; he didn’t ask for it.
Maybe parents didn’t want him because he was too ugly, he had thought to himself once. Who wants an ugly kid anyway, especially when they have the choice to reject him?
Now at eighteen, with little education and a cramped apartment in one of those dingy suspicious apartment blocks to call home, he struggled to live. But it’s tiring to continuously search for a reason to live each day. What did he have to live for? What an absurd question. Should there be an answer to it, he wouldn’t have to deal with the numbness that enveloped him from the inside.
But maybe, somehow, things were going to change for him.
.
“Oi,” the drunk called out to him before Kazuya could escape back into the club. Kazuya turned around slowly to face the intoxicated man before him.
“What? I need to work.” He mumbled before heading for the backdoor.
“I think you’re beautiful.” Kazuya paused, mostly because he was confused as to why his heart was suddenly beating so fast, rather than why a stranger decided to call him ‘beautiful’.
Pathetic, he thought to himself, pathetic for him to be flattered by a passing remark made by someone who probably was on the brink of unconsciousness.
Kazuya gave the man one long searching look before going back into the club to continue his job, which was basically cleaning up after everyone and dragging out the ones who were too wasted and only taking up space.
A heavy sigh left his lips.
.
He stared at the grey wall of his apartment. The grey wall with the chipping paint and brown corners are bare of any photos, paintings, life. The wall is empty, just like him. He could stare at the wall for hours. Even if it drives him to tears, he could still stare at the wall.
Even if all the pain, frustration and the emptiness builds up in him until it becomes unbearable, he would still watch it.
Then he would cry, claw at the wall with coarse fingers and stain the wall with the blood from his torn fingernails that came from digging too hard into the wall. He is desperate. Bring some life into this wall, he would think. And with that in mind, he’d claw harder, letting his blood drip down the rough surface and he’d cry louder, until the neighbours scream and bang at his door to shut up. Because it is four in the morning and they needed to sleep. He needed to sleep.
With bloody hands and a tired heart, he would fall asleep, kneeling, with his forehead against the wall.
.
It is when you are at your lowest point in life, do you realize that the only way left is up.
.
The stranger from before was back… and awfully horrible at hiding the intense gaze he had on Kazuya. Kazuya didn’t give him much thought though, and continued on with his job, while wincing once in a while when he had put too much pressure on a badly torn fingernail.
He was still there sitting by the bar top though, when most of the crowd had left, and nursing the same mug of beer he had in his hands for the past two hours.
Kazuya sighed and walked up to him.
“Want some ice in that?”
“Huh?”
“It’s warm, isn’t it? Sucks to be drinking it warm you know,” and without waiting for a response, he went off and came back to the stranger, plopping some ice into the mug. The stranger stared at the ice, and then at Kazuya and Kazuya stared right back.
Eyes, such beautiful brown eyes, Kazuya thought as he broke the gaze they held and wiped the countertop.
“Oi,”
Kazuya looked up, to find the stranger leaning dangerously close into him, “What?”
“I meant it, what I said the other day,” the stranger paused, “and I’m Jin by the way, Akanishi Jin. See you around.”
And with that, the stranger left, with his beer untouched.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered, as he familiarized himself with the name.
.
It’s bright, he realized. The stains on the wall were fading. The brown corners were almost unnoticeable. The paint had stopped chipping.
Kazuya was crying again as he stared at the wall, but his heart felt light, and his smile reached his eyes.
“Oi,” a rough deep voice sounded from behind him and a strong arm snaked around his waist to pull him down, “what are you crying for?”
“Nothing, nothing at all,” Kazuya mumbled quietly and leaned into Jin’s embrace.
.
There, on the futon facing the grey wall, I close my eyes and kiss you.
.
おわり。
A/N2: rl’s been shit to me sigh I’m so relieved I have fandom + akame to write to just get me through all this bullshit.
A/N3: hope y’all like it. Please comment, comments make my heavy heart fly 8)
Author: poppedeggplant
Pairing: akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: angst, romance
Disclaimer: Plot is mine, the boys aren’t. Sadly.
Summary: This is a story of pain and its many variations.
A/N: back with some angst, after like ten thousand years of not writing it… I just needed to write something.
.
He’s always been pushed away, kicked aside, used and unwanted. It’s his life, it’s only natural for him to cling onto fading lights, relying on hopes that never existed, and believing in loves that will never happen. He knew it himself too, that it was his fate to be unloved. And he could do nothing but accept it.
It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t ask to be cursed with what was deemed to be a hopeless future. To have been born into this world with no one to care for him, to have been thrown around orphanages, to have been looked after by deceitful bastards and then to have been not looked after at all; he didn’t ask for it.
Maybe parents didn’t want him because he was too ugly, he had thought to himself once. Who wants an ugly kid anyway, especially when they have the choice to reject him?
Now at eighteen, with little education and a cramped apartment in one of those dingy suspicious apartment blocks to call home, he struggled to live. But it’s tiring to continuously search for a reason to live each day. What did he have to live for? What an absurd question. Should there be an answer to it, he wouldn’t have to deal with the numbness that enveloped him from the inside.
But maybe, somehow, things were going to change for him.
.
“Oi,” the drunk called out to him before Kazuya could escape back into the club. Kazuya turned around slowly to face the intoxicated man before him.
“What? I need to work.” He mumbled before heading for the backdoor.
“I think you’re beautiful.” Kazuya paused, mostly because he was confused as to why his heart was suddenly beating so fast, rather than why a stranger decided to call him ‘beautiful’.
Pathetic, he thought to himself, pathetic for him to be flattered by a passing remark made by someone who probably was on the brink of unconsciousness.
Kazuya gave the man one long searching look before going back into the club to continue his job, which was basically cleaning up after everyone and dragging out the ones who were too wasted and only taking up space.
A heavy sigh left his lips.
.
He stared at the grey wall of his apartment. The grey wall with the chipping paint and brown corners are bare of any photos, paintings, life. The wall is empty, just like him. He could stare at the wall for hours. Even if it drives him to tears, he could still stare at the wall.
Even if all the pain, frustration and the emptiness builds up in him until it becomes unbearable, he would still watch it.
Then he would cry, claw at the wall with coarse fingers and stain the wall with the blood from his torn fingernails that came from digging too hard into the wall. He is desperate. Bring some life into this wall, he would think. And with that in mind, he’d claw harder, letting his blood drip down the rough surface and he’d cry louder, until the neighbours scream and bang at his door to shut up. Because it is four in the morning and they needed to sleep. He needed to sleep.
With bloody hands and a tired heart, he would fall asleep, kneeling, with his forehead against the wall.
.
It is when you are at your lowest point in life, do you realize that the only way left is up.
.
The stranger from before was back… and awfully horrible at hiding the intense gaze he had on Kazuya. Kazuya didn’t give him much thought though, and continued on with his job, while wincing once in a while when he had put too much pressure on a badly torn fingernail.
He was still there sitting by the bar top though, when most of the crowd had left, and nursing the same mug of beer he had in his hands for the past two hours.
Kazuya sighed and walked up to him.
“Want some ice in that?”
“Huh?”
“It’s warm, isn’t it? Sucks to be drinking it warm you know,” and without waiting for a response, he went off and came back to the stranger, plopping some ice into the mug. The stranger stared at the ice, and then at Kazuya and Kazuya stared right back.
Eyes, such beautiful brown eyes, Kazuya thought as he broke the gaze they held and wiped the countertop.
“Oi,”
Kazuya looked up, to find the stranger leaning dangerously close into him, “What?”
“I meant it, what I said the other day,” the stranger paused, “and I’m Jin by the way, Akanishi Jin. See you around.”
And with that, the stranger left, with his beer untouched.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered, as he familiarized himself with the name.
.
It’s bright, he realized. The stains on the wall were fading. The brown corners were almost unnoticeable. The paint had stopped chipping.
Kazuya was crying again as he stared at the wall, but his heart felt light, and his smile reached his eyes.
“Oi,” a rough deep voice sounded from behind him and a strong arm snaked around his waist to pull him down, “what are you crying for?”
“Nothing, nothing at all,” Kazuya mumbled quietly and leaned into Jin’s embrace.
.
There, on the futon facing the grey wall, I close my eyes and kiss you.
.
おわり。
A/N2: rl’s been shit to me sigh I’m so relieved I have fandom + akame to write to just get me through all this bullshit.
A/N3: hope y’all like it. Please comment, comments make my heavy heart fly 8)