Aftermath 3/4
*
Three
"Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun"
From the diary of Allison Iraheta
In lots of ways, I think we could have stayed in Colorado. The people weren't that bad. It was safe, it was warm, and there was food. There was no guarantee once we left that we would even make it to Arkansas. With the Eaters controlling a big chunk of Oklahoma, and Missouri mostly unexplored…
At the same time, neither of us could lie much longer. Circumstances forced us to move quickly. I think about what would have happened had we left earlier.
I think of what would have happened had I told Kris of my suspicions before we left.
All I know is that things… things got bad. I still don't know everything that went on, because as much as we shared, Kris still didn't open up to me. Perhaps I can convince him a few years from now, when the memories have softened. I don't know.
If we had stayed, it would have probably killed him, in the end.
*
November 2013
Allen Farm, Arkansas
"So tell me, since we actually have the time, exactly how did you pull this off?"
Kim looks at Adam, then at the table, filled with more food than he has seen in a long time. Daniel is at the other end, talking with some pretty girl visiting from Texas. Adam has a feeling that the pretty girl is more than a flirtation, but doesn’t say anything.
"Where do you want me to start?"
Adam laughs. Kim's glad to see it, because he has become too serious. She understands the world has changed and moved on, but there were a few things she thinks should be the same.
"I know that you got the church to help organize things at first. And then started your own?"
Kim smiles. "Well, let me give the bare bones. When I went to the church, it was because I knew they could reach the largest amount of people the fastest. But after awhile, Frederick started preaching hate. Started blaming people for the lights."
"Sounds like what happened in Flagstaff," Adam says, remembering the journal, filled with names.
"Well, except I didn't let it get that far. By the time Frederick started, I had somehow become the boss. So he couldn't counteract me."
"Okay." Adam looks down at his food for a minute. "So tell me about the houses."
Kim rolls her eyes. "Well, some of the college students who survived had very specific ideas about a no tech society. It did become a problem when we had so many people flowing in, so they organized people into families. Gave them colors."
"Plaid though?"
"Blame Kris, when he gets here," Kim says. "Everyone remembers him and his plaids, so they ran with that. I have to admit; those kids probably saved this town just as much as anything else. When they showed up on my doorstep, I could have cried. When I told them I hadn't heard my word had gotten that far, they laughed and told me it was my son's fault. They remembered the news that he had built a farm, and came here hoping maybe someone would have started something."
Adam nods. "So tell me, what kind of jobs can I expect to work here?"
"Actually, I have one. We have a little school set up, and we do need a vocal teacher. It's not full time, but I suppose you could do patrols in the meantime."
Kim watches as surprise flickers in Adam's eyes.
"Me? A teacher? Aren't there, like, more useful things I could be doing?"
"Well, maybe. But we're at the stage where we need to decide if we're going to focus on surviving or living. I have enough soldiers and engineers and builders and so forth. I want artists. Designers. Crafters. I'm reading this book on trading and economics for crying out loud. Anyway, you are qualified."
"Kim, I used to be blasted because I corrupted children. Now you want me to teach them?"
Kim grins. "Well, at least I know who to blame when the children turn up strange?"
Adam looks at her for a long time, and then they are both laughing. It's almost enough for Kim not to notice the people missing from the table.
*
February 2014
Boulder
Every week, for about three hours, one of the members of the quilting bee babysits Hannah. It isn't the simple nice gesture either Kris or Allison would like to pretend it is. The Federated State of Colorado has few aims: to be in control, to gain more control, and to keep control of those within its borders. When Kris ask the first time the babysitter comes over what they are supposed to do for three hours, Allison breaks into hysterical laughter. The babysitter, Erica, gives Allison a sympathetic look before leaving.
They instead spend the time talking about plans. How they can escape, what's too risky. Whether Hannah can keep quiet if she is told.
"Do you think you'll have to fight for them?" Allison asks.
"Possibly."
"Kris-"
Kris shakes his head. "I believe in a lot of things, Alli. I'll do what I have to do now. I can ask forgiveness later. Anyway, I'm so new I squeak. They might take me along, but they'll stick me in the middle and hope I don't die at best."
Allison sighs. "You better not die. It's bad enough with you here."
"Thanks? I think?"
Allison gives him a rare smile and leans against him. "Kris, I like some of the people here."
Kris puts his arm across Allison's shoulders. "Me too, Alli, me too."
*
March 2014 (Year 1, New Time)
Arkansas
Adam looks at the pile of wood in the distance. It looks like the beginnings of any other fire, but this one is important. It's been a year since the lights went out. Ryland and Drew (and damn if Adam can actually remember the ridiculous titles Kim Allen has given them) are nearby, discussing something with a group of young men and women. Then they all walk away as Kim Allen steps onto the small platform in front of Adam.
"Welcome everyone. We've had a pretty tough year, but somehow, we made it through. I know every single person here has lost someone, and that a lot of us are still hoping that people find their way home. But I'm looking forward to the year to come, because we've made so much progress, and with a little hard work and creativity, we can do a lot more. Now I've asked for Max to say a few words."
Adam watches the new pastor walk to the front. He doesn't know much, except that the old church had disbanded after Kim had had an argument with the lead pastor there and left. He has actually attended a service or two, just to see. He's still not big on the religion thing, but he likes Max, and not just because he allowed Adam into a church of all places. Max is the healing kind of pastor, which is exactly what people need.
"Hello, everybody. Now Mrs. Allen here, she's going to give a signal to Mr. Steen over there. Our good friends, the Steen brothers were nice enough to search out and find some gunpowder. I've been told the point of this is to see if we're still in the same situation we were a year ago. If everything we used to know is still gone. Before Mrs. Allen gives the signal for the archer to try and set it on fire, though, I want to say this: whether the fire explodes or not, it doesn't matter. God has all the reason in the world to test us, and even if this lasts to our dying days, than that is His choice. It is His world, and He may do with it as He will. What we have to do is live the best we can in the world He has given us."
Adam watches as everyone steps back a little even though the pile is far away. Kim gives the signal, and the archer fires. But the gunpowder doesn't explode. The fire fizzles brightly for a moment before returning to normal. Adam looks to the crowd. There is a mix of disappointment and determination. About what he expected, in this crowd.
"Well, then, I guess I'm stuck without my hair dryer for a little bit longer," Kim says.
The crowd laughs, and disperses. Adam sits out the dances for now, content to sit and watch.
"Hard to believe it's been so long," Cale says as he sits down.
"It feels longer, some days."
Adam is still wearing his ring. He highly doubts he'll ever not. Cale nods and looks into the crowd.
"How long do I wait? How long do we hope that they're still alive?"
Adam shakes his head. "I don't know. I thought the teaching thing would be enough to distract me, but I have just enough free time to worry."
"You should do defense training. I mean beyond the basic course. You could do patrols when school is out, and there's nothing more distracting than beating people up."
Adam laughs "I suppose. What about you?"
"Well besides that I've been helping out with bow making. But I don't know. I've tried my hand at making guitars, too."
"Give it just a little longer. After all, we just passed winter. Maybe they got stuck in the snow."
Cale sighs. "I hope so."
"You do love her, don't you?"
Cale looks at Adam, "I guess I do. I think I'm going to go keep Drew out of trouble, since Sharon has Ryland in hand."
He gives Adam a tight smile and walks away. Adam watches for awhile, wondering which was worse, knowing that someone was dead, or waiting to find out. Then Kim came up to him a pulled him up to dance.
"Because I'm not having you sit here alone and mope."
"Do you wonder, Kim?"
She looks up at Adam. "About Neil? All the time. But even if he was alive, he's halfway across the world. I fear the next time I see him will be when we are both gone from this world. As for Kris… No matter what, I'll always hope. He's a much smarter boy than he gives himself credit for, and he'll do anything for Hannah and Allison. So I have faith."
"So do I," Adam says.
*
April, 1 NT
Boulder
Kris breathes carefully. He doesn't know when he'll be able to sleep again. Every time he closes his eyes he sees the dead and dying, hears their pleas for mercy as the army that he now fights for cuts them down. But the main part of the battle is done.
"All right new blood! Now comes a test of a true soldier: go in, clean up. Any who resist, kill them. Any who put down their weapons can be recruited. Doctors are to be spared. Unless they fight. Are we clear?"
"Yes sir!"
Please, God, don't make this worse than it already is. Give me the strength to do what I have to do to get home.
Kris puts his head down and follows, ignoring the fires and the bodies being piled at the gates. Once he's inside, it's easy to look at the empty streets and houses. It's a relief to find an empty house and mark it, move on and repeat the process.
Until the corner. Robert is there first, Kris just behind him.
"Kris."
There's a woman huddled in the corner, a short sword in hand.
"Don't even try, you bastards," she snarls.
Kris looks around. "Cover me," he says as he kneels before her.
"Look, I don't know your name, and I don't know what happened here, except that the General decided he wanted your property. I'm just a soldier. But I do know you have three choices: you can fight, but then I'd have to kill you. I haven't killed anyone yet, and I'd rather not. Two, you can argue with me till the other guys get here, and then they'll kill you, but I'm pretty sure they'd rape you first, because unfortunately I fight for some not so nice people. Or you can come with us, and you might have a chance at some sort of decent life. You might end up married before you'd like, but the General, at least, has relaxed some of those laws even. Your choice."
Kris stands. Robert grins at him.
"I don't ever remember you being so blunt."
"I have a very good friend who likes to tell the truth even when he shouldn't. It works pretty well most of the time."
The woman looks around for a moment, and then throws the sword on the ground.
"My name is Deidre. I've never been married. But I don't fancy dying, and rape has never been on my bucket list. Do you have to tie me up, or can I walk on my own?"
"I'm Kris. My silent friend here is Robert. I think if maybe you look a little more scared, we can avoid the tying up."
Deidre. "So I have to ask, before we're in front of everyone else-why do you fight for them if you don't like them?"
Kris looks at Robert, who laughs.
"That is a long story. Maybe one day, I can tell you."
She nods and walks in front of them, shuffling her step and keeping her head down.
"Well, well didn't you bring in a pretty one?"
"Lay off, Anderson," Robert says. "She came willingly, just like everyone else."
"Yeah? And who's going to back you?"
"Me," Kris says, standing next to Robert and hefting his mace.
"They're right, Anderson," one of the sergeants says, "Lay off."
Kris lets out a breath when Anderson turns away.
"You're crazy, Robert."
"We're both crazy."
Kris nods at Deidre. "You have any trouble; don't hesitate to let us know. We may be low on the totem pole, but we're soldiers, which makes us pretty important still."
She mouths a silent thank you. Kris makes himself look at the nameless village, and tries to tell himself his one act redeems being a witness to the rest.
It doesn't.
*
August 1 NT
Arkansas
It starts with Aimee. She's one of Adam's students. She usually stays quiet, sings along, and shuffles off to her home.
One day, Adam sees her wandering the streets.
"Hey, Aimee."
She's about six or seven. Adam can't be sure.
"Do you know how to use that sword?"
Adam blinks and remembers he's just come from the training grounds. It helps distract him, occupy what time he doesn't spend with Bowie or teaching.
"Yes, I do. I'm still learning, though. Shouldn't you be playing, or maybe helping out your parents?"
As soon as her bottom lip trembles, Adam is on his knees. "What's the matter?"
"I live over there, and I don't like the people there."
She points to a large house at the corner. It's the home set up for people with no families, an orphanage of sorts.
"Oh. I see. Why not?"
"Well at first, Pastor John was running it, but then he left after the church went away, and now the big kids are kind of running it, and it's not any fun."
Adam looks at her. "Did you tell Mrs. Allen about this?"
Aimee shakes her head. "I didn't want to bother her."
"Come with me."
Adam sort of lives with Kim at the farm. He hasn't been here long enough to put his name on a housing request, and he isn't sure he wants to live on his own. Plus Kim insists, because 'I might as well have a baby here, and put use to some of this stuff.'
Not that Bowie is a baby anymore, but that's not even the point.
"Hey Adam," Cale says as Adam walks up to the porch with Aimee. "And who is this?"
"Aimee. She has a complaint for Kim. And a possible job for you."
"?"
Cale has jumped from job to job since March, never settling in to one career. He could do any number of things, but none of them seem to stick.
Adam explains the situation. It ends up with Aimee, Patrick, Jacob, Ethan and Richard all at the Allen farm, and the three older kids who had been running things adopted into other families.
Cale takes the idea and runs with it, developing a system of people to look after kids whose parents go on patrol, or if they should need an army (and with the reports filtering in from Colorado, and the Eaters in Oklahoma, it's looking like a yes.) So often the Allen farm has more children than adults. It's sort of strange for Adam.
"I wish Brad could have seen this. The irony of it all."
Cale looks at Adam. "Aw, everyone here knew you were a softie anyway. Kris told on you all the time."
"Great. Now my sex god bad boy image is completely shattered."
Cale snorts.
Adam looks at him and grins. He's surprised at how well he's settled here. There have been a few rough spots, but being adopted into the Allen clan plus his general pacifist nature has smoothed them over. A small part of him still holds out hope for Kris and Allison and in lots of ways, he still feels as if he is waiting.
Waiting for them. Waiting for someone to realize he doesn't belong here. Waiting for the world to turn upside down all over again.
*
September, 1 NT
Boulder
Allison pretends not to notice Cynthia's face. There isn't a mark there at all, but her eyes are haunted. Whatever change that has been coming, it has arrived. And it is not good.
They are alone. The General is visiting the borders. Kris is off to another battle. Hannah is sleeping.
"There's a small problem Allison," Cynthia begins.
She knows. She knows everything. She knows we aren't married. That we've been lying.
"See, I know you and Kris love each other. I do. I can see it in your eyes."
Allison breathes for a moment. She doesn't know what's going on, but she has to remain composed.
"And Hannah is such a pretty girl."
"Thank you."
"So why don't you want another baby?"
Allison blinks. "I-I don't-"
Cynthia leans forward and whispers, "He's always watching. I learned that the hard way. So this better be good."
Allison swallows. She forces herself not to look around, and then looks at her hands.
"It's not about wanting."
"It's okay, you can tell me."
Think. And quickly.
"Honestly, we're lucky to have Hannah. Don't tell anyone else, but Kris… well. We were seeing someone before. But now, well. You know."
Cynthia nods. "I see. Maybe we can help. I'm sure we have something lying around from before. But that may take time."
Allison realizes what Cynthia wants to know. "Time we have. We're young. Thank you for your concern."
When Allison leaves, she's doesn't look around. She hopes Kris is home soon, because whatever escape plan they have, it has to be soon.
*
"It's a tradition Allen, so pick one before one is picked for you."
Kris looks at the book of designs. "Can I draw one?"
Captain Filmore looks at him. "Sure. Why not?"
Kris doesn't want a tattoo. But there has been another battle, and somehow he's saved the lives of his whole company without thinking about it. So they are celebrating.
"Fancy. I like it."
Kris looks at it. It seems simple to him, a small triangle, with the symbol for infinity inside. He supposes people will think it represents his family, and being together forever. To him, the first part is somewhat correct. As for the second, it's a reminder that forever is something he doesn't have.
He makes it home the next day, wondering how Allison has fared without him. When she meets him at the door, a frown on her face, he knows things have changed drastically.
"Alli?"
She licks her lips. "We have a small problem."
She holds up a bottle. "Now smile and hug me," she says under her breath, "and tell me we're getting out of here soon."
Kris leans down and hugs her. "Alli?"
"They want to know why we haven't tried for more children."
Kris puts his head on her shoulder. "Fuck."
"Well, that's sort of the point," Alli says.
Kris laughs. He isn't sure if it's because he's exhausted, or if he's realizing just how complicated things are, but either way, he almost wishes he was back fighting. Almost
*
December, 1 NT
Arkansas
Cale finds Adam sitting on the front porch, wrapped up in a blanket.
"So apparently dating sucks," Adam says.
Cale looks at him. "Well, since a lot of the women here a) have already dated me, b) are married now or c) think that because I live with you I must be secretly in love with you, yes, it does."
Adam laughs. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I'll live."
"Yeah." Adam says.
"I don't think they're coming."
"Me neither."
They both look out into the night for awhile. Cale doesn't sit. It's too cloudy for stars, so he settles on counting the watch beacons.
"I'll make you a deal," he says.
"Okay."
"I promise to keep trying to have some sort of social/romantic love life, and you can live vicariously through me."
"You mean, we both start living?"
Cale nods. He knows a part of him will always hope, but if he doesn't move on, he's going to grow old and bitter. And he knows Kris and Allison wouldn't want that, alive or dead.
"Deal."
Adam holds out his hand, Cale shakes it firmly.
"So, are you secretly in love with me? Because that would be terribly awkward."
Cale laughs. "In your dreams, Lambert."
Cale finally sits and watches the night pass by, talking with Adam.
*
Boulder
"Sledding?"
"I have my permission slip if you want to see it," Kris says to the gate guard.
"No, Sergeant Cook, you have fun. Make sure to be back by dark."
Kris nods and pushes his horse forward, the others following. They get to the hill where they are supposed to spend the day.
"I'll see you at the bottom," he says to Allison and Hannah.
"Okay. Be careful."
He looks at them one more time. He doesn't know what to say exactly, because-
"Kristopher. Don't start. I told you before and I'll tell you again."
Kris laughs. "I know. We'll talk later."
He watches them sled down the hill. He looks at Robert, and Deidre (who for the purposes of this trip is now Robert's fiancée.) He pushes her down the hill.
"You ready for this?" Kris asks.
"Nope."
"Me neither."
They get on their horses (as if to go down the hill and retrieve their families) and double back on the trail. They find the people sent to mind them not even watching at all.
"Sloppy," Kris whispers.
"Lucky he trusts you enough to send bad ones."
Kris nods and gives the signal. He and Robert surprise them.
"Kris?"
"Hello Vince. Long time no see. Still a captain? I hate to see a man not change rank."
Vince blinks before falling forward. Robert looks down at the body.
"Suppose they'll demote you, but I never said which way I'd like to see you move," Kris says.
They tie the unconscious men to the horses, and then lightly tie the horses to some nearby trees. Eventually the horses will break free and make their way home. By then Kris will be gone. He hopes.
"That worked way too well," Robert says.
"We have to make it through winter first. And then if we hit Oklahoma at all, Eater territory."
"Fun."
"Better than staying there."
"How long before a revolution do you think?"
"I don't know."
Kris trudges through the snow, not looking back. For the first time he can see home. He wonders if when he gets there, whether he can forgive himself for what it's taken to get there.
*
January, 2015 (1 NT)
Burlington, Colorado
When the five of them are ushered into a snow covered building in Burlington, Kris is unsurprised. He recognizes a few faces even.
"I'm surprised to see you here, Cook," Dylan says. "I never pegged you as anything but a full convert."
"Then I suppose my acting skills have gotten better with time," Kris says.
"Who says I trust you?"
Kris sighs. He's worried about this ever since Allison has told them the location of the supposed revolution. That his eagerness to fit in with the status quo would damage any chance of shelter later on. Everything that has happened flashes through his head, so quickly it almost doesn't register. But Kris could recite the blood on his hands, the people he's betrayed, as he does every night when he lies down.
"You don't have to. But I can tell you a lot of things you need to know."
Dylan thinks for a moment. "I suppose since you are sort of stuck here, I'll have to trust you. Although you do realize I won't let you out of my sight."
"I understand."
"Why the middle of winter though?"
Kris shrugs. "The opportunity presented itself. I thought you were dead."
"I am. At least to everyone in Colorado. I got out before Cindy was compromised."
Kris looks at Allison. "I guess you were right about her, Alli."
"Told you."
"I suppose you won't be staying on for the rebellion then?"
Kris looks at Dylan for a long time. "No. I wish you well, but I just want to go home."
"And where would that be?"
Kris says nothing.
"I understand. You were aware of their latest plans?"
"As much as a sergeant could be. But we can give numbers-"
"Excuse me, but is there somewhere I could sit?" Allison asks.
Kris turns. She's been quieter than usual, worry lining her face. He hasn't asked, because he's already asked so much of her. He figures he can be patient.
"Are you okay Alli?"
"No," she says, her voice wavering. She sits carefully in the chair someone has brought over.
Kris walks over and puts his hand on her shoulder.
"Alli?"
She looks up at him, her face pure misery, and whispers four words in his ear.
"I think I'm pregnant."
PART FOUR