I'm sorry that, for whatever reason, teaching didn't work out for you. I'm sure we all have "what if" decisions that haunt us. I'm glad you still have an outlet in band camp.
I wonder if this isn't true for all decisions where you might have made the best one possible, given the circumstances... but frankly didn't want to be in the position of having to decide at all. The thorniness of all of that context... it would be easier to left go of the whole thing if you'd truly been able to choose of your own volition.
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