i guess it will always feel like this. sort of just... empty.

=D

man, all these fucking christmas specials and the bullshit and the consumerism... it makes me want to puke in holiday cheer. Theyre fucking putting frosty the snow man in high definition TV! seriously i think im going to puke. the disgust all this shit makes me feel is... i just cant even write about it.

=D

there are times when im just a shell, bruised and misused with nothing inside to heart. when i am alone, except for my rage. MY RAGE. my one reliable emotion. it can never be taken from me and it will flap in the wind on my standard into battle. i will tear throats and eviscerate people in its name. i will devour the heart of the unworthy in ( Read more... )

dust to dust. im hurting myself. when i cut my arms open, i bleed ashes. My urine corodes the bowl when i piss. If there was a statue made of your one true love, and it was made of ash, would you stand to touch it? to watch it blow away in the wind gon forever just for that single touch? or would you simply stare thw whole time, never ( Read more... )

Well, im sitting in class about to get my outline ripped to shreds so i can tape it back together. if it wasnt for the pill mom and dad gave me before i came i would have long since freaked out, thrown a computer out the window and run out screaming like a maniac. people wouldnt know whether to call the cops, the fire department, an ambulance, or ( Read more... )

Is 3 PM to early to start drinking? i mean, its not like its 11 am but it sure isnt like 8 pm. i am beffudles.

=D

god, im so glad yesterday is over. all i could think about all day was lying down and passing out. i was afraid to drive to class for fear of falling asleep at the wheel and driving into a ditch or something. Now that its the day after im just wishing this day would be over. got i cant wait for the weekend. my court dat e is coming up soon so ( Read more... )

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape ( Read more... )

mmm, nice cloudy day. though it is a bit muggy. For fucking november this is ridiculous. Going to get some ambien tonight, going to have a nice little trip out. Ambien is so weird, it makes the waking world seem like a dream. For a sleeping medicine that is oddly ironic to me. it always makes me do weird things, and it makes me plan them out ( Read more... )

Im here. Now what? Oh well no one has ever answered. The horrible truth is im just talking to myself. Thats not even the horrible part, its that i still hope for answers. I do things so backwards. I feel like my brain got srewed on counterclockwise while everyone elses is clockwise. What do you suppose that means huh? no guesses? well ok ( Read more... )