A Crown of Gold
Pairing: Donghae/Sungmin
Rating: PG
If you ever needed to know where the sun was, all you had to do was follow Donghae’s gaze.
In this dark, dank place full of squalor and secrets, Donghae was always able to spot the weak, watered down beams that were unfortunate enough to find themselves here.
He would track the slow sweeping movement of the feeble light, his eyes lingering on the pathetic subject like a starving man who forgot what food tasted like. He fought to keep himself still as the light hobbled through the small enclosure like a decrepit old man. It was only when it shone directly above your head would he spring into action.
He would launch himself through the distance that separated you two as though there were tightly compressed coils built under his heels just aching for a release. As he leapt through the air, he would stretch his hands wide, fingers spread apart as though he could pluck the light up out of thin air. He would act like capturing the light between his palms was as easy to do as plucking a heavy ripe fruit off a low overhanging branch.
The light however, always found a way to wriggle out of the tiny crevices in between his fingers. His hands, whenever he’d reopen them would be disappointingly empty. The only thing his open palms revealed were the tiny half moon indents his nails made when they dug into his flesh.
Donghae, body slumped over in disheartenment would then trudge back over to his corner and lie down.
It wasn’t as though he never learned. Donghae was just simply a person who never gave up hope. He honestly believed that he would one day be able to capture and cradle the sunlight in between his two hands.
This was after all, the boy who had spent weeks shifting through the garbage that floated downward to the two of you. He pulled random camera pieces out of a stinking pile and insisted they still worked. He spent hours painstakingly merging all the broken pieces together until a working camera had emerged from the mess. When a bouquet of wilted flowers washed in with the rainwater, he had scurried away to get his camera. He lined his toes up against the edge of the tunnels and waited until they floated by over to him. He then spent the rest of the day crouched over them, shifting them minutely in the water and snapping pictures when they formed the configuration he wanted.
Watching him now though, his head tucked down low and the long curve of his back facing you, you wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t brought him down here. What would have happened if you had managed to sleep that night. What would have would happen if you had disobeyed Leeteuk.
It was too late though. Your sleepless figure was already wide awake by the time Leeteuk came barreling through the door. Panting, he stilled for half a heartbeat as he took stock of the inhabitants in the room. Illuminated by the flare of light behind him, his sleeping clothes had appeared gauzy and his usually slender figure looked painfully thin.
He had noticed your open eyes right away and pulled you upright in your bed. “Hurry, hurry,” he whispered, his voice reedy and crackling with a frantic undertone. “Take Donghae and go. Don’t look back.”
He quickly strode over to Donghae’s bed to wake the boy buried underneath the warm covers. Donghae had woken up almost immediately and Leeteuk’s eyes flickered towards the frost coated window that hung between your two beds. Sweeping your fumbling fingers aside, he deftly finished buttoning up your coat for you. Turning, he snagged a thick red scarf out of the closet and started to loop it endlessly around Donghae’s pale throat. Turning your gaze towards the window as Leeteuk bent to knot the laces in your shoes; you had been momentarily blinded by a brilliant flash of light outside. Then, the room had started to shake violently, as though a furious behemoth of a giant had grabbed a hold of it and was throttling his anger out on the small room.
Before you could ask what was going on, Kangin suddenly appeared. Separating you from Leeteuk, he pulled you into his arms for a rough but solid embrace. He quickly turned to Donghae and gathered him into his arms.
Throwing open the door behind you, Kangin told you to run as he shoved your two small bodies through the opening.
Donghae had turned to you, his eyes wide and his voice wavering with the fear that squeezed around it. “Hyung...hyung!” he repeated, his words were like a open mouth plea. “What do we do now?” His hand kept grasping the empty air where Leeteuk and Kangin had just been.
“Run. We run.”
You hadn’t even noticed you were crying.
***
You ran until it felt like there were claws digging and dragging into the deflating flesh of your lungs. You ran until it felt like your legs would shatter underneath you. You ran away from the place you had called home. It was only yesterday that you had all gathered in the living room for an impromptu round of karaoke. Heechul had needed no prompt but everyone hooted and hollered at Eunhyuk when he managed to hit that high note in the song. You knew he was outrageously embarrassed when he turned that funny shade of purple red that occurred naturally in turnips. He had to face away from the room at large to do it again when the song reached its second refrain. Now, you don't even know if you'll ever see him again.
You continued running.
You ran even though it felt like a fissure had exploded in your side. You ran even though each intake of air became choking gasps. You ran until Donghae collapsed behind you, wheezing as his knees hit the soft blanket of snow that covered the ground.
“I-I’m sorry Hyung,” he gulped, clutching his chest where his weak heart resided. He swallowed nosily. “I can’t run anymore.”
You braced your hands on your knees, bent over as you tried to regain your breath and figured out what to do.
It was then you noticed it, a small cardboard box that had molted away to reveal a partially open manhole.
You helped Donghae to his feet and slowly approached the dilapidated cube, nudging it out of the way as you came closer to the object. The darkness beyond the small opening told you nothing. It was barely wide enough for you to squeeze in through but you knew you had to. Donghae couldn’t run anymore and you desperately needed a place to hide.
You told Donghae to wait and he almost refused to let you go. You sucked in a breath and squeezed yourself through the opening. You dropped through the air and got lucky as you landed on dry ground. Blinking furtively, your eyes tried to adjust to the sudden enveloping darkness. Distantly, so far up ahead that you had to squint, you were just able to make out a dim glow.
When Donghae called out to you, you told him it was okay for him to jump down. There was a distinct sound of fabric tearing and Donghae righted himself as he landed lightly next to you.
Taking Donghae’s hand in your own, you both headed cautiously towards the light.
***
The light came from a small bedside lamp. When you followed the black lines of the electrical cord, you found that it plugged into the wall. You almost wondered how electricity could even work an underground place like this but decided not to question your line of good fortune. The lamp was situated in a small open room located slightly beyond the round curve of the tunnel up ahead. It was small but mostly dry. Judging by the mess of items strewn about the floor, it seemed as though someone else had previously inhabited the place before you two stumbled upon it.
There was a ratty rolled up futon on one corner and a cooking pot thrown on top of it. You looked around, still holding Donghae’s hand as you tried to find any aspects of human life in this place. The closest you got to it however was the broken TV lying on its side, cracks branching across its protruding face like a maze of overlapping spiderwebs.
You didn’t trust the orange bedding but you looked at the way Donghae was shivering and changed your mind. It’d be better to be elevated on some sort of surface than to sleep on the floor tonight.
After salvaging around some more, you returned with a purple spotted blanket. It looked as clean as the futon but was the best you could do right now. You rolled yourself and Donghae in it and tried to get some sleep.
***
Your next concern was food and how you were going to get it. There was nothing here that looked edible and though Donghae tried to hide it, his pinched face told you about his hunger more than his forced smiles did.
You decided to chance it and head above ground. There was enough light shimmying through the round holes of the manhole plates that you could trace your steps back to the opening you slipped through yesterday.
Looking to the side, you found some rusty footholds. They flaked and peeled under your hands like dry skin as you hefted yourself onto them. You ignored the urge to rub your hands against your pant legs. Instead, you turned to Donghae standing behind you. “Be careful when you go exploring today,” you said and he nodded, promising to do so. There was no point telling him to stay in one spot, and at least this way, he felt like he was helping.
The street signs told you were in a place you knew, but there was no trace of human life to be found. The skin at the back of your neck prickles and you couldn’t tell if it was from the frigid wind that pummeled your small figure or from the eerie disconcerted feeling clouding around you.
It took several long minutes of battling through the wind to peer around corners and walking in shadows before you found someone you knew. It was one of the old women who often visited the place you once called home.
“Sungmin!” she cried. “What are you doing here?”
You flashed through several expressions to put on your face before setting on widening your eyes and looking as hungry as you could. The latter is something you didn’t even have to fake.
You told her that you didn’t know what was going on but it’s been really hard to find food lately.
“Of course it is,” she grumbled darkly to herself as she ushered you into her house. “What with them rationing everything.” She directed you towards the faded couch and the plastic gives a squeak of discontent when you sat down upon it. You tried to get more information out of her as she picked through her cabinets.
She shook her head and told you that she hadn’t heard anything about Leeteuk or any of the others. She wanted you to stay but knew it was probably safer where you were. Handing you a plastic bag laden with goods, she sent you out the back door.
You hurried back to Donghae.
He hadn’t returned from his explorations yet and you waited for him. You only broke your fast when you saw him trotting back to the place with several found items in hand.
***
You didn’t let Donghae go above ground. You were afraid that with his curious eyes and easy smile, someone would drag him away. You didn’t even know what you were running from, but even without having to look up to the six people older than you and take care of six people younger than you, it was dangerous. It's just you and Donghae now and with Leeteuk gone, the urge to protect and take care of him is stronger than ever.
He looked upset the first time you told him no, but said he understood, picking at his food.
***
That was how you both lived. You don’t know what day it is as time slips wildly away from you the longer you both live here in this place devoid of the sun. You know time passes though. You can tell by the way Donghae’s hair spirals out of control the longer it gets.
“You need a shave, hyung!” Donghae laughs at you one day when you reach up to rub the facial hair that had sprouted across your face.
One day, as the light once again slipped out of Donghae’s reach, he turns to you. His eyes are wide, and he wears the same expression he had on when you both had run away.
“Hyung,” he says, desperation clawing underneath the sincerity of his words. “I need to go up, outside, away from this place. It’s driving me crazy to be so close to the outside world but not be able to reach it. I can’t feel the sun on my face anymore. You understand, don’t you, hyung? You understand I have to go.”
You nod. Just like how Donghae had understood why you didn’t let him go before, you understand why he needs to go now.
You nod, and you let him go.
His weight is a warm comfort against your back that night. The next day he swings himself up on the worn footholds. They are the same grips you had used when you first ascended above ground and are the same ones you climb on a weekly basis.
As he leans his head back, the sunlight drapes over him like folds of gold.
With a look of wonderment, he tilts his head back further and further and the golden sheet follows his every move.
You nod, and you let him go.
This is, after all, Donghae. The boy who caught the sun.
Rating: PG
If you ever needed to know where the sun was, all you had to do was follow Donghae’s gaze.
In this dark, dank place full of squalor and secrets, Donghae was always able to spot the weak, watered down beams that were unfortunate enough to find themselves here.
He would track the slow sweeping movement of the feeble light, his eyes lingering on the pathetic subject like a starving man who forgot what food tasted like. He fought to keep himself still as the light hobbled through the small enclosure like a decrepit old man. It was only when it shone directly above your head would he spring into action.
He would launch himself through the distance that separated you two as though there were tightly compressed coils built under his heels just aching for a release. As he leapt through the air, he would stretch his hands wide, fingers spread apart as though he could pluck the light up out of thin air. He would act like capturing the light between his palms was as easy to do as plucking a heavy ripe fruit off a low overhanging branch.
The light however, always found a way to wriggle out of the tiny crevices in between his fingers. His hands, whenever he’d reopen them would be disappointingly empty. The only thing his open palms revealed were the tiny half moon indents his nails made when they dug into his flesh.
Donghae, body slumped over in disheartenment would then trudge back over to his corner and lie down.
It wasn’t as though he never learned. Donghae was just simply a person who never gave up hope. He honestly believed that he would one day be able to capture and cradle the sunlight in between his two hands.
This was after all, the boy who had spent weeks shifting through the garbage that floated downward to the two of you. He pulled random camera pieces out of a stinking pile and insisted they still worked. He spent hours painstakingly merging all the broken pieces together until a working camera had emerged from the mess. When a bouquet of wilted flowers washed in with the rainwater, he had scurried away to get his camera. He lined his toes up against the edge of the tunnels and waited until they floated by over to him. He then spent the rest of the day crouched over them, shifting them minutely in the water and snapping pictures when they formed the configuration he wanted.
Watching him now though, his head tucked down low and the long curve of his back facing you, you wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t brought him down here. What would have happened if you had managed to sleep that night. What would have would happen if you had disobeyed Leeteuk.
It was too late though. Your sleepless figure was already wide awake by the time Leeteuk came barreling through the door. Panting, he stilled for half a heartbeat as he took stock of the inhabitants in the room. Illuminated by the flare of light behind him, his sleeping clothes had appeared gauzy and his usually slender figure looked painfully thin.
He had noticed your open eyes right away and pulled you upright in your bed. “Hurry, hurry,” he whispered, his voice reedy and crackling with a frantic undertone. “Take Donghae and go. Don’t look back.”
He quickly strode over to Donghae’s bed to wake the boy buried underneath the warm covers. Donghae had woken up almost immediately and Leeteuk’s eyes flickered towards the frost coated window that hung between your two beds. Sweeping your fumbling fingers aside, he deftly finished buttoning up your coat for you. Turning, he snagged a thick red scarf out of the closet and started to loop it endlessly around Donghae’s pale throat. Turning your gaze towards the window as Leeteuk bent to knot the laces in your shoes; you had been momentarily blinded by a brilliant flash of light outside. Then, the room had started to shake violently, as though a furious behemoth of a giant had grabbed a hold of it and was throttling his anger out on the small room.
Before you could ask what was going on, Kangin suddenly appeared. Separating you from Leeteuk, he pulled you into his arms for a rough but solid embrace. He quickly turned to Donghae and gathered him into his arms.
Throwing open the door behind you, Kangin told you to run as he shoved your two small bodies through the opening.
Donghae had turned to you, his eyes wide and his voice wavering with the fear that squeezed around it. “Hyung...hyung!” he repeated, his words were like a open mouth plea. “What do we do now?” His hand kept grasping the empty air where Leeteuk and Kangin had just been.
“Run. We run.”
You hadn’t even noticed you were crying.
***
You ran until it felt like there were claws digging and dragging into the deflating flesh of your lungs. You ran until it felt like your legs would shatter underneath you. You ran away from the place you had called home. It was only yesterday that you had all gathered in the living room for an impromptu round of karaoke. Heechul had needed no prompt but everyone hooted and hollered at Eunhyuk when he managed to hit that high note in the song. You knew he was outrageously embarrassed when he turned that funny shade of purple red that occurred naturally in turnips. He had to face away from the room at large to do it again when the song reached its second refrain. Now, you don't even know if you'll ever see him again.
You continued running.
You ran even though it felt like a fissure had exploded in your side. You ran even though each intake of air became choking gasps. You ran until Donghae collapsed behind you, wheezing as his knees hit the soft blanket of snow that covered the ground.
“I-I’m sorry Hyung,” he gulped, clutching his chest where his weak heart resided. He swallowed nosily. “I can’t run anymore.”
You braced your hands on your knees, bent over as you tried to regain your breath and figured out what to do.
It was then you noticed it, a small cardboard box that had molted away to reveal a partially open manhole.
You helped Donghae to his feet and slowly approached the dilapidated cube, nudging it out of the way as you came closer to the object. The darkness beyond the small opening told you nothing. It was barely wide enough for you to squeeze in through but you knew you had to. Donghae couldn’t run anymore and you desperately needed a place to hide.
You told Donghae to wait and he almost refused to let you go. You sucked in a breath and squeezed yourself through the opening. You dropped through the air and got lucky as you landed on dry ground. Blinking furtively, your eyes tried to adjust to the sudden enveloping darkness. Distantly, so far up ahead that you had to squint, you were just able to make out a dim glow.
When Donghae called out to you, you told him it was okay for him to jump down. There was a distinct sound of fabric tearing and Donghae righted himself as he landed lightly next to you.
Taking Donghae’s hand in your own, you both headed cautiously towards the light.
***
The light came from a small bedside lamp. When you followed the black lines of the electrical cord, you found that it plugged into the wall. You almost wondered how electricity could even work an underground place like this but decided not to question your line of good fortune. The lamp was situated in a small open room located slightly beyond the round curve of the tunnel up ahead. It was small but mostly dry. Judging by the mess of items strewn about the floor, it seemed as though someone else had previously inhabited the place before you two stumbled upon it.
There was a ratty rolled up futon on one corner and a cooking pot thrown on top of it. You looked around, still holding Donghae’s hand as you tried to find any aspects of human life in this place. The closest you got to it however was the broken TV lying on its side, cracks branching across its protruding face like a maze of overlapping spiderwebs.
You didn’t trust the orange bedding but you looked at the way Donghae was shivering and changed your mind. It’d be better to be elevated on some sort of surface than to sleep on the floor tonight.
After salvaging around some more, you returned with a purple spotted blanket. It looked as clean as the futon but was the best you could do right now. You rolled yourself and Donghae in it and tried to get some sleep.
***
Your next concern was food and how you were going to get it. There was nothing here that looked edible and though Donghae tried to hide it, his pinched face told you about his hunger more than his forced smiles did.
You decided to chance it and head above ground. There was enough light shimmying through the round holes of the manhole plates that you could trace your steps back to the opening you slipped through yesterday.
Looking to the side, you found some rusty footholds. They flaked and peeled under your hands like dry skin as you hefted yourself onto them. You ignored the urge to rub your hands against your pant legs. Instead, you turned to Donghae standing behind you. “Be careful when you go exploring today,” you said and he nodded, promising to do so. There was no point telling him to stay in one spot, and at least this way, he felt like he was helping.
The street signs told you were in a place you knew, but there was no trace of human life to be found. The skin at the back of your neck prickles and you couldn’t tell if it was from the frigid wind that pummeled your small figure or from the eerie disconcerted feeling clouding around you.
It took several long minutes of battling through the wind to peer around corners and walking in shadows before you found someone you knew. It was one of the old women who often visited the place you once called home.
“Sungmin!” she cried. “What are you doing here?”
You flashed through several expressions to put on your face before setting on widening your eyes and looking as hungry as you could. The latter is something you didn’t even have to fake.
You told her that you didn’t know what was going on but it’s been really hard to find food lately.
“Of course it is,” she grumbled darkly to herself as she ushered you into her house. “What with them rationing everything.” She directed you towards the faded couch and the plastic gives a squeak of discontent when you sat down upon it. You tried to get more information out of her as she picked through her cabinets.
She shook her head and told you that she hadn’t heard anything about Leeteuk or any of the others. She wanted you to stay but knew it was probably safer where you were. Handing you a plastic bag laden with goods, she sent you out the back door.
You hurried back to Donghae.
He hadn’t returned from his explorations yet and you waited for him. You only broke your fast when you saw him trotting back to the place with several found items in hand.
***
You didn’t let Donghae go above ground. You were afraid that with his curious eyes and easy smile, someone would drag him away. You didn’t even know what you were running from, but even without having to look up to the six people older than you and take care of six people younger than you, it was dangerous. It's just you and Donghae now and with Leeteuk gone, the urge to protect and take care of him is stronger than ever.
He looked upset the first time you told him no, but said he understood, picking at his food.
***
That was how you both lived. You don’t know what day it is as time slips wildly away from you the longer you both live here in this place devoid of the sun. You know time passes though. You can tell by the way Donghae’s hair spirals out of control the longer it gets.
“You need a shave, hyung!” Donghae laughs at you one day when you reach up to rub the facial hair that had sprouted across your face.
One day, as the light once again slipped out of Donghae’s reach, he turns to you. His eyes are wide, and he wears the same expression he had on when you both had run away.
“Hyung,” he says, desperation clawing underneath the sincerity of his words. “I need to go up, outside, away from this place. It’s driving me crazy to be so close to the outside world but not be able to reach it. I can’t feel the sun on my face anymore. You understand, don’t you, hyung? You understand I have to go.”
You nod. Just like how Donghae had understood why you didn’t let him go before, you understand why he needs to go now.
You nod, and you let him go.
His weight is a warm comfort against your back that night. The next day he swings himself up on the worn footholds. They are the same grips you had used when you first ascended above ground and are the same ones you climb on a weekly basis.
As he leans his head back, the sunlight drapes over him like folds of gold.
With a look of wonderment, he tilts his head back further and further and the golden sheet follows his every move.
You nod, and you let him go.
This is, after all, Donghae. The boy who caught the sun.