Heart, Mind and Soul
I still remember that day when I met Yoochun. It was pouring rain and I was with Yunho hyung, who needed help with grocery shopping….
“So, let me get this straight,” Junsu smiled, walking casually down the sidewalk, “Jaejoong hyung was tied up at work and you couldn’t do all that heavy lifting on your own am I right?”
“I’m sorry Junsu,” Yunho pouted, resting his hands on his lap, “if I knew it was going to bother you so much I would have asked Changminnie instead.”
“Relax, I’m only kidding with you! I’m always willing to help you out.”
Junsu shifted the umbrella so it was mostly over Yunho. Junsu didn’t mind the rain so much, but Yunho looked back and cast him his worried father look.
“Why aren’t you under the umbrella? I don’t want you getting sick either.”
Shrugging Junsu smiled and put on the strong façade he used whenever he spoke to Yunho. “I’ll be alright, it’s you who needs to stay dry isn’t that right?”
Rolling his eyes Yunho turned back to the sidewalk ahead of him and inhaled deeply. Yunho had always loved the rain, and now that he was forbidden from going out in it freely upset him greatly. For the most part, however, Yunho was always upbeat and rarely looked like he was sick at all. The only thing that gave him away was his lack of strength and the cap he always wore. Jaejoong made sure to take good care of him, and spoiled the guy to death. Junsu was surprised the attention hadn’t gone to his hyung’s head, but then Yunho always maintained his composure quite well.
Something hit the ground with a clatter and Yunho leaned over his chair and sighed. “I swear they don’t make jeans with deep pockets anymore.”
“Here hyung, let me.”
As Junsu was bending down to grab the cell phone, another hand shot out of nowhere and a figure crouched down beside him. Startled Junsu’s head whipped up and he saw a man with curly, messy dark brown hair that touched his round, brown eyes. His skin was smooth and he had a pleasant, welcoming smile on his lips. Junsu couldn’t help but stare at this strange man with awe. There was no umbrella in his hand, so his hair clung to his face and his clothing hung heavily on his body.
“Yoochun!” Yunho exclaimed suddenly, startling the two men out of their stupor. “Is that really you?”
The man, Yoochun, leaned over the chair and his eyes brightened. “Yunho hyung! Wow, it’s been forever hasn’t it? How have you been?”
Yunho shrugged and pointed at his cap and the chair. “You know…can’t really say it’s been great but not too bad.”
“Oh, sorry hyung, it must be tough. But you look as healthy as ever so I’m sure you’re fighting it with all you’ve got.” He patted Yunho’s shoulder and smiled at him. Yunho’s smile was big and warm as well and Junsu knew they were friends from before. Yoochun continued. “So, who’s this?” His eyes were on Junsu and Yunho laughed, probably at the way Junsu tensed when the strange man’s eyes fell on him.
“This is my friend Kim Junsu. He’s living with me and Jaejoong, along with Shim Changmin.” When Yunho had said Jaejoong’s name, something flickered across Yoochun’s face, but Junsu couldn’t figure it out. “We kind of adopted them both I guess.” He chuckled and Junsu rolled his eyes, taking Yoochun’s hand. It was warm and so soft.
“Not really, more like roommates without any other place to go,” he corrected, “but we’ve all became such good friends that there’s no point in leaving now anyway. Besides Yunho needs all the help he can get.” He smiled at Yunho who refused to admit that he needed any help at all.
As he watched Yoochun couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth come from the two before him and shivered. Only Yunho noticed, and he looked at Yoochun worriedly. Quickly Yoochun collected himself and smiled sweetly.
“I should be going though. It was nice seeing you again hyung. And it was nice meeting you; maybe we’ll stumble across each other again some time.” He shivered again and was turning to leave when Yunho cleared his throat and called out to him.
“Yoochun, maybe you could give me your number or something? It kind of sucks that we were…um…so close before and then just kind of drifted apart. Maybe we could grab something to eat, provided I can.” He smiled and Yoochun turned back slowly, nodding.
He fumbled to grab a piece of paper and scribbled down his number and passed it to Yunho. “Here.”
“And take the umbrella. You look like you could use it.”
Both Junsu and Yoochun looked at him with shock. “No hyung, you can’t risk it,” Junsu said, as Yoochun replied, “it’s okay hyung, don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” Without a chance to say anything else, Yoochun spun around and hurried off, leaving Junsu watching him with a curious look, and Yunho with a worried look. Then Junsu collected himself and began pushing Yunho towards the store. In Yunho’s grasp was the piece of paper with Yoochun’s number.
~*~*~*~
At six o’clock sharp Jaejoong burst through the door, his unusually upbeat attitude making everyone wary. Mostly just Junsu and Changmin, because Jaejoong had insisted on being as happy as he could whenever there was bad news. He hailed Yunho with dozens of kisses and hugged Junsu and Changmin tightly.
“I am in such a good mood!” he purred, helping Yunho into the arm chair. “Such a wonderful day at work, and I’m sure Junsu was a big help too right?”
“Of course Joongie,” Yunho muttered happily, as Jaejoong fussed over making him comfortable. “I’m kind of hungry though…do you mind making supper?”
“For you, I would do anything Yunnie!” Jaejoong nodded enthusiastically. He hurried towards the kitchen, thrust the door open and disappeared. Junsu slid silently in after him, leaving Changmin in the living room with Yunho.
Jaejoong was leaning over the counter, his eyes trained on it. Junsu took a step closer and Jaejoong shifted slightly to let him nearer. “Is it that bad?”
“The doctor called today and it doesn’t look good,” Jaejoong said softly, his voice shaking. “The good thing is that it’s not growing anymore, but with how fast it was before there’s not much that can be done. He’s doing well as it is, but the doctor doesn’t think this burst of energy is going to last long. He wants to send Yunho to the hospital where he’ll get the best care they can offer, but….” Jaejoong bit his lip and Junsu finished the rest for him.
“But hyung wouldn’t want that.” Jaejoong nodded and Junsu leaned against the counter with a sigh. “Maybe it’s time for someone to decide for him. We don’t have to send him right now, not with how energetic he’s been lately. I’m sure we can wait until he starts to get weaker…then he can’t fight it as much. I know you love him and I do as well, but taking care of him will only get harder for us if…it gets worse.” His throat closed, and he hated saying those things but he knew it was the truth. “I’m sorry hyung, really I am, but I think that it’s for the best.”
Nodding silently Jaejoong turned to him and gave him a smile that was so broken that Junsu bit back a sob that bubbled in his chest. “I’ll make some supper. Don’t say any of this to Yunho-not yet. I want him to feel as comfortable as possible okay?”
“I understand hyung.” And Junsu slipped out of the kitchen, leaving Jaejoong to prepare dinner.
When they were all seated at the table-after Jaejoong all but ripped a textbook out of Changmin’s hands-Yunho was eating and casually brought up their encounter with Yoochun. Jaejoong’s response shocked Junsu, as his fork clattered on the plate and his eyes widened. Apparently Yunho was prepared for that kind-or worse-reaction and continued to eat his dinner.
“Yoochun’s…here?” Jaejoong muttered, stunned. “When did he get back?” Yunho shrugged and took another bite.
“Does it even matter? We just happened to come across him when we were out and he looks…well.” Junsu had thought Yoochun looked like a drowned rat, but then what did he know? But seeing Jaejoong’s reaction to the news, he remained quiet and ate his supper. Yunho turned to him. “Junsu met him too…he looks like he’s always had, cheery and bright.”
Jaejoong remained silent, but his tenseness told Junsu he didn’t want to be talking about Yoochun anymore. Junsu cast a warning look to Yunho who caught it and blushed.
“I’m sorry Jae…I haven’t seen him in a while...I guess it was just the excitement of meeting him again. I know you don’t like him.” The table fell into an uncomfortable silence and Changmin raised his eyebrow at Junsu. Slowly Junsu shook his head, and Changmin shrugged, and began picking at his food.
“I know, and it’s fine…I just know he hurt you before and I just don’t want the same thing to happen again.” When Jaejoong looked up again, he was smiling. “It was just a surprise but don’t worry I’m alright. But I’m suddenly not feeling so well; I think I’ll just go lie down for a bit. Finish up or I’ll feel like I didn’t do a good job cooking for you. Especially you Yunho.” With that said he collected his plate and hurried into the kitchen. Then he escaped up the stairs to the second floor. His and Yunho’s room was on the second, while Junsu’s and Changmin’s rooms were on the first floor. There was one other spare room on the first floor that was more like the office space with a pull-out bed.
“Hyung, are you done with your supper?” Changmin asked and Yunho nodded absently, and as the youngest cleared away the plates Junsu leaned over to Yunho.
“I take it Jaejoong hyung’s not a big fan of Yoochun then?” Yunho shook his head and sighed. He looked so tired and vulnerable at that moment but Junsu was sure it wasn’t from the cancer alone. His cheeks were sunken and he had bags under his strong, fatherly eyes. Yunho hated it most when he disappointed or hurt his love, and it was bad enough he beat himself up over having a sickness that was killing him.
“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.” Junsu stood up and helped Yunho to the arm chair. He passed the remote to him and watched as the older man flipped through the channels. In the kitchen Changmin had started doing the dishes and Junsu figured he should go help him. “Just watch some TV and let Jae hyung cool down. You know him, he doesn’t stay upset long, especially at you.” Yunho didn’t say anything so Junsu slipped out of the living room and stepped into the kitchen.
Changmin was scrubbing a pot and looked over his shoulder when he heard Junsu. “So…what was that all about anyway?”
“Who knows with those two,” Junsu shrugged, “but I think Jaejoong hyung wasn’t too happy when he heard Yoochun was back. Whatever that means anyway.”
“Well it’s not our business anyway.” Changmin passed Junsu the pot and got to work on the other one. Jaejoong was anal when it came to cleanliness so everything was scrubbed to the bone and washed until it shone. Changmin and Junsu had once thought the trait was hilarious, but now they cleaned everything to perfection since Yunho got sick.
Just as they were finishing up the dishes, Yunho came through the door, pale from the movement, but his eyes were filled with concern. He held his cell phone in his hand. Changmin hurried to grab him and pulled him to the chair, scolding him for moving around like that. Yunho apologized glumly, and then looked up at Junsu with pleading eyes. They held the same vulnerability as before and Junsu felt a pang of sadness.
“Jae is going to kill me for this but Yoochun just called. His place was taken from him and he has no place to go. He seriously needs help and I said he could come here. Junsu…do you think you could get him? I have his address.”
“I…” Junsu bit his lip and looked at Changmin for help. The younger man shrugged and looked as lost as Junsu felt. “Hyung won’t be very happy seeing as how he reacted earlier…I don’t know if it’s such a good idea….”
“Let me take care of Jae. He can’t say no to someone in need of help, even if it is Yoochun. Just go get him and I’ll take care of the rest okay?” Yunho’s eyes were so pleading that Junsu couldn’t say no. Hesitantly he grabbed his car keys and looked at Changmin uncertainly, who shrugged again still not sure how to respond. Alone Junsu threw his coat over his shoulders and ducked out into the rain, hoping everything would turn out alright.
The address led him to a small section of run down apartments in a shady neighbourhood. Instantly Junsu locked his doors and peered through the heavy rain to find the right apartment building. All the while he cursed himself for falling for Yunho’s pity act and knew Jaejoong was going to have his neck as soon as he stepped through the door. Nonetheless Yunho really did seem to care about the young man so Junsu had no choice, in the end, but to go get him.
As he was looking, he was starting to grow more and more tired of the winding road and was about to turn around when luck struck and he found it. There was a foreclosure sign hanging on the door and someone crouching in front of it. He had familiar shaggy hair so Junsu honked the horn once and the young man looked up. Relief flooded through him when he realized that it was Yoochun and not some hoodlum taking shelter from the storm. But Yoochun looked soaked through to the bone and when he opened the car door he was shaking from head to foot, teeth chattering. As soon as he was in the car he leaned against the seat and closed his eyes.
“Are you alright?” Junsu leaned close and Yoochun opened his eyes slowly, nodding weakly. He looked just as Yunho had and Junsu cursed his weakness for sick people.
“I’ll be fine…. Thanks for picking me up. I know it’s kind of sudden and inconvenient.”
“It’s fine, shit happens. But you don’t look so hot, should I take you to the hospital?”
“No, no don’t…. I just need a shower and dry clothes.” Yoochun shivered again and curled up slightly on the seat. Junsu took that action as his real answer and sped down the street towards his house. If Yoochun didn’t want to go to the hospital than he wouldn’t force him, but he wasn’t going to put him in the same house as Yunho. Not until he got better anyway.
“I can’t take you to Yunho’s house just yet,” Junsu said softly. They had stopped at a red light and he checked Yoochun’s forehead. It was burning and he winced at the feeling. “I can’t risk exposing Yunho to a fever so I’ll take you to my friend’s place. He’ll let you stay no problem.”
Yoochun merely nodded and wrapped his arms around himself tightly. Junsu shrugged off his coat and draped it over Yoochun before driving once again. Along the way he kept glancing at him worriedly, but couldn’t help but feel how attractive Yoochun was, even in his weakened state.
“Stop it! He’s sick and a total stranger!” Junsu kept telling himself, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
Finally they arrived at the house and Junsu helped Yoochun out of the car, placing the coat over his head to protect him. Holding him close for support he had to practically drag Yoochun towards the house because the other man was too weak to move. Once they were standing in the doorway Junsu pounded on the door, feeling the rain seep through his own clothing even though he had only been a few minutes out in it. It made him wonder how long Yoochun had been in the rain. He remembered earlier seeing Yoochun soaked as well when they had first met.
“Hello?” a familiar face said, poking around the corner.
“Eunhyuk it’s Junsu. I need your help,” Junsu said, and Eunhyuk opened the door further to let him in. He looked at Yoochun and before looking at Junsu curiously.
“Please? He’s sick and if I take him home Yunho will get sick too and that won’t be very good. Please Eunhyuk he has nowhere else to go, and I promise that as soon as he’s better I’ll take him home.”
Eunhyuk looked at Yoochun again and pressed a hand to his forehead before whistling. “Damn, how long was he out in this weather? That fever’s pretty high. Fine, bring him in, I’ll grab some towels and get the bed ready.” He hurried off as Yoochun’s legs buckled underneath him, sending a surprised Junsu with him. Junsu gasped as the weight of the other man pressed against him and felt his cheeks go hot. Again he told himself to stop thinking things and carefully sat up, manoeuvring oddly so not to make Yoochun fall. At that moment Eunhyuk came back and shook his head, chuckling softly.
“Really I didn’t think you were the type to go after the vulnerable ones,” he joked, throwing a towel to Junsu.
He caught it and stuck out his tongue. “Shut up, he just surprised me that’s all.”
“Sure, sure. When you’ve got him dried bring him to the bedroom. There’s some pyjamas there for him too.”
“Great, now I get to change him as well,” Junsu muttered, rolling his eyes at his best friend who just laughed and went to grab some water and a cloth.
“It’s alright Yoochun, I’ll take care of you,” Junsu whispered, drying the unconscious man gently.