This is the story of a boat.
I blame Nix, mostly. But also the twins for requesting it in the first place, uh... about two years ago.
Yeah.
"Kiha-san, do you want to try and show us on the doll where they-?"
"No!"
"But Kiha-san, it will help you deal with it, it's a scienfic fact! ...Or so Tori-san has said."
"I don't want to talk about iiiiit."
"Oh, please. If that was true you wouldn't have come crying to us in the first place."
"H-Haruhiiiii."
"You have to admit she has a point."
"... B-But."
"Just spit it out already!"
"I-I DON'T REMEMBER!"
"Ahh...?"
"I-It was all very sudden, I..."
"Oh my god, they totally drugged you, didn't they?"
"I DON'T KNOW! I don't think so. ... They... wouldn't."
"..."
"..."
"... Maybe."
"So then, allow me to try and grasp a better understanding of the situation. You were originally asked by them to lend your services as a photographer for a Host Club themed event. Am I correct?"
"Y-Yes, they said it would be a Relaxing Evening On A Yacht-"
"... Wow, I hope they didn't dress you up as a sailor."
"... -and that Ohtori-kun was planning to release special editions of the photobooks so-"
"They totally did."
"That's a shame, though. I'm sure Kiha-san would look completely dashing in a sailor outfit!"
"I am trying to get over my trauma here!"
"Oops~ sorry!"
"Do go ahead, Kiha-san."
"A-Anyway. When I arrived to the pier, there was no one there. No students, no Host Club, no yacht! And just as I was pulling out my cellphone to call and check if I'd gotten the wrong address, I was brutally shoved into a rowboat!"
"Brutally!"
"... A rowboat."
"A-And it all happened so fast! There were hands on my body and they were laughing a-and their eyes!"
"It's all right. We're here for you."
"Sohma-saaaaan."
"And then?"
"..."
"I..."
"..."
"..."
"When... when I came to my senses again, I was... stranded in the middle of the ocean. Not a soul in sight! There were seagulls flying over the boat, like, like vultures! Waiting for my heart to stop beating, for my body to start decaying and-!"
"And you were missing your pants."
"Haruhi!"
"How terrible! As if the imminent danger wasn't- he... he was?"
"Yeah."
"... I-I wasn't!"
"My photographic evidence begs to differ."
"Your what?!"
"Ha ha, I was right! That v-neck looks so good on your unconscious figure Kiha-san!"
"G-Give me that, where did you get that from?!"
"I have my contacts~ There's a video too, by the way."
"WHAT?!"
"Haruhi is so resourceful!"
"Don't- I don't want to see it!"
"Here Ayame, this is the part where he faints and they smack him around some to try and get him to wake up."
"Ohhh, so that explains the mysterious bruises!"
"And the doodles on his face."
"H-HEY, STOP THAT!"
"Then they got bored, took off his pants, and got an helicopter to pick them up. The end."
"... Amazing."
"I-Is that really what happened...? I MEAN, NO, IT'S NOT AMAZING SOHMA-SAN!"
"They were planning to use it as blackmail material, but it's not like they need the money or anything, so they gave it to me instead."
"Ooohhh."
"My hero!"
"...What?"
"You saved my reputation! ♥ How could I ever thank you, Haruhi?"
"Hah! You're kidding, right? You should see the bidding war going on between Hokuto and your wife on Ebay right now."
"The what?!"
"Worry not, Kiha-san, for I shall be the one to outbid them!"
"S-Sohma-saaaaan."
Yeah.
"Kiha-san, do you want to try and show us on the doll where they-?"
"No!"
"But Kiha-san, it will help you deal with it, it's a scienfic fact! ...Or so Tori-san has said."
"I don't want to talk about iiiiit."
"Oh, please. If that was true you wouldn't have come crying to us in the first place."
"H-Haruhiiiii."
"You have to admit she has a point."
"... B-But."
"Just spit it out already!"
"I-I DON'T REMEMBER!"
"Ahh...?"
"I-It was all very sudden, I..."
"Oh my god, they totally drugged you, didn't they?"
"I DON'T KNOW! I don't think so. ... They... wouldn't."
"..."
"..."
"... Maybe."
"So then, allow me to try and grasp a better understanding of the situation. You were originally asked by them to lend your services as a photographer for a Host Club themed event. Am I correct?"
"Y-Yes, they said it would be a Relaxing Evening On A Yacht-"
"... Wow, I hope they didn't dress you up as a sailor."
"... -and that Ohtori-kun was planning to release special editions of the photobooks so-"
"They totally did."
"That's a shame, though. I'm sure Kiha-san would look completely dashing in a sailor outfit!"
"I am trying to get over my trauma here!"
"Oops~ sorry!"
"Do go ahead, Kiha-san."
"A-Anyway. When I arrived to the pier, there was no one there. No students, no Host Club, no yacht! And just as I was pulling out my cellphone to call and check if I'd gotten the wrong address, I was brutally shoved into a rowboat!"
"Brutally!"
"... A rowboat."
"A-And it all happened so fast! There were hands on my body and they were laughing a-and their eyes!"
"It's all right. We're here for you."
"Sohma-saaaaan."
"And then?"
"..."
"I..."
"..."
"..."
"When... when I came to my senses again, I was... stranded in the middle of the ocean. Not a soul in sight! There were seagulls flying over the boat, like, like vultures! Waiting for my heart to stop beating, for my body to start decaying and-!"
"And you were missing your pants."
"Haruhi!"
"How terrible! As if the imminent danger wasn't- he... he was?"
"Yeah."
"... I-I wasn't!"
"My photographic evidence begs to differ."
"Your what?!"
"Ha ha, I was right! That v-neck looks so good on your unconscious figure Kiha-san!"
"G-Give me that, where did you get that from?!"
"I have my contacts~ There's a video too, by the way."
"WHAT?!"
"Haruhi is so resourceful!"
"Don't- I don't want to see it!"
"Here Ayame, this is the part where he faints and they smack him around some to try and get him to wake up."
"Ohhh, so that explains the mysterious bruises!"
"And the doodles on his face."
"H-HEY, STOP THAT!"
"Then they got bored, took off his pants, and got an helicopter to pick them up. The end."
"... Amazing."
"I-Is that really what happened...? I MEAN, NO, IT'S NOT AMAZING SOHMA-SAN!"
"They were planning to use it as blackmail material, but it's not like they need the money or anything, so they gave it to me instead."
"Ooohhh."
"My hero!"
"...What?"
"You saved my reputation! ♥ How could I ever thank you, Haruhi?"
"Hah! You're kidding, right? You should see the bidding war going on between Hokuto and your wife on Ebay right now."
"The what?!"
"Worry not, Kiha-san, for I shall be the one to outbid them!"
"S-Sohma-saaaaan."