i hate times square

up your butt and around the corner (i.e harlem)

i hate myself.

cryo tomorrow.

being alone during the holidays.

not enough cigarettes in a day.

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i hate my brain. i feel so guilty for everything i do or think. i just hear echoes of mean things and remind myself of my poor performance on my exams over and over like a broken record. it bothers me that i got an a+ on my paper and james only got an a-. he seemed really hurt. i dont want to show him my grades anymore. that must be hard for him to ( Read more... )

matt is off the chain. everyone needs to appreciate that. <3

ps this journal is going full on private soon, due to people i dont love reading it (this doesnt include matthew with the garbage bag diaper) so if anyone but... marvin reads this journal....and isnt actually on my friends list, give me a signal and i'll put you on.

so tonight i drank a bottle of wine. delicious. i watched movies. read a page of notes. drunk dialed lauren because i have no one else to call. talked to the boy she wants to bang's roommate who whatever i wont say cause i have manners.... and ..... one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer was on the radio, which is my JAM. im drunk. know that

i had a horrible time and i dont belong here, probably not anywhere. i want to drop out of school just so i can avoid nights like that. i cant wait to go home and just..hang out with people that actually care about me. and im such a bad person that the only people that care are related, and only really two of them ( Read more... )

i want to let everyone know how crazy today has been ( Read more... )