RP log: Sanada and Yukimura

[cool_facade]

Date: Friday, January 26
Rating: NC17
Summary: See Sanada. See Yukimura. See Sanada completely lose his cool.

It's part two of this post...



...Yukimura blinked as he was tossed over Sanada's shoulder. "Sanada Genichirou, what are you, a caveman? Put me down," he laughed, flailing just a little. "I'm perfectly capable of walking."

Sanada put Yukimura down when he was good and ready to, which was when they got to his bed. But he didn't immediately jump on top of Yukimura. Instead, he knelt and gripped Yukimura's hands in his, kissing them. He was feeling speechless...awash with awe. It was a decade-long love affair that was finally getting consummated, and Sanada was feeling...almost unworthy.

Yukimura stared down at Sanada, blinking at the gentle gesture. He took one of his hands and ran it through Sanada's hair, then down to caress his cheek. "Gen......" He leaned down and tilted Sanada's face up, their lips meeting for a soft, loving kiss.

Sanada felt the sweetness of the kiss and fell into it -- it was like getting all of his dreams at once, wrapped up in a bow. But... Sanada broke the kiss again and felt inexplicably near tears. It meant that much to not lose the other man. Did Yukimura love him? Want him, as more than just a weekend fling? Sanada raised Yukimura's wrist to his lips and kissed it, felt the pulse beneath his tongue. Undid the shirt cuff and kissed to Yukimura's elbow...leaving behind the salty trace of a tear.

Gen was...crying? But...why would he... Oh. Right. He was probably doubting this, and Yukimura couldn't blame him. With their history the way it was, Yukimura understood why Sanada would be doubting it.

But...Yukimura meant it. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Sanada, cradling the other's head against his chest. "I'm not going anywhere, Gen. Not now, not ever," he said softly.

Sanada clambered up onto the bed and pulled Yukimura close, as close as their bodies could get. He was feeling so conflicted...his body ached to move, touch, join them. "Seiichi..." His pride choked his voice. He couldn't...ask if Yukimura loved him. Instead, he took what he was offered, nuzzled his nose in to gently brush against Yukimura's.

Yukimura frowned a little. Something wasn't right... Sanada seemed to be...hesitating...like he was waiting for something... Of course. Yukimura chuckled just a little. "Gen. Know what makes you different, from all those other men?"

Sanada gripped Yukimura by the shirt and pulled him closer. "...What?" It was strange. Sanada had never felt this stressed out at sex before...hadn't started to feel it until he began to worry about what might happen tomorrow.

Yukimura held Sanada tight, like he was never going to let go. "Most of those men, I barely even knew, much less cared for. But you..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He'd never said this before...to anyone. "I love you."

Sanada heard the words sink into him like all the warmth the world offered...his eyes held the soft look that only Yukimura could put there, and a grin grew on his lips...he was kissing the words off Yukimura's mouth before they were entirely spoken -- his body firing back up so fully that it was almost painful. "You're going to pay for making me so happy, you know," Sanada growled, and laughed, rolling over to trap Yukimura against the bed.

Yukimura smiled, glad to see that Sanada didn't seem worried anymore. Sanada being...scared or upset or...whatever you wanted to call it... It had made Yukimura worried. About Sanada, about if it was really the right thing...

But it felt so right...how could it not be? Even if they did nothing more than this...Yukimura had a feeling of coming home. Like this was where he belonged. And telling Sanada how he felt... It was like a weight was lifted. He didn't have to hide it anymore, didn't have to pretend it wasn't there. But more than that. He was embracing how he felt, acting on it.

And it was wonderful.

" 'I'm going to pay'? You make it sound like making you happy is a bad thing, Gen," he chuckled, wrapping his arms around Sanada's neck.

Sanada brushed away the last tear. "I'm a jealous, possessive boyfriend," Sanada said, hands going up to twine with Yukimura's hands, holding them down. He traced his nose around Yukimura's face again. Kissed his lips, lightly. "And you are going to have to be mine alone. If I find you with anyone else, I'll break their bones, and keep you in here with a collar on."

Sanada's voice was low and menacing and matter-of-fact, despite the twinkle of humor in his eyes.

"Yes, I said boyfriend. I'm not breaking my word for anything less."

Yukimura chuckled softly, keeping to himself that that wasn't much of a threat, considering he rather liked the idea of being kept and collared.

But he knew what Sanada meant. No more going out drinking and fucking. And Yukimura had no problem with that. He didn't particularly like that he'd become that kind of person - hadn't been able to stand it once he and Sanada were reunited. It was why he'd made his New Year's resolution to better himself.

"Break your word on this, Gen, and give it to me on something else. Promise me...that if I do start trying to pull away from you... Promise you won't let me." Yukimura's words were soft, but he meant them. He didn't want to lose Sanada, but by now it was like instinct to try and pull away from someone after sex. And everybody else had let him. But he wanted Sanada, wanted him to be the only person that he slept with more than once, to be his boyfriend, his lover.

"So, what'll keep you here tomorrow?" Sanada's voice was still a low purr, dangerous at its core. "Cuffs? I have those. Ropes? Shall I tie you to the bed naked and only let you up every two hours? I can do that...oh yes, I can do that."

Sanada stared down at Yukimura and dreamed of ropes. His whole body stirred, pondering it...

His mouth went down to Yukimura's neck and began to explore. Slender, strong, elegant...HIS.

Yukmura shivered at the hint of danger in Sanada's voice. He stored that away for future use, that Sanada might even go for some of his more twisted little fantasies.

He tilted his head, exposing his neck to Sanada's mouth, and made happy little purring sounds.

"The only thing I should need to keep me here...is you, Genichirou..."

Sanada put his lips to Yukimura's pulse -- kissed hard, felt his heart skip a beat. Something deep inside of him was...hurting, almost. As if a long-frozen feeling was thawing...

Pain. Anger. Sanada felt his eyes fill again -- as if every word that Yukimura said confused him further.

Sanada paused, took a breath. Rolled off to the side and put his arm over his eyes.

"I'm sorry...I...After so long, it's hard to believe this is real."

Yukimura blinked when all that warmth rolled off and away from him. And Sanada was hiding behind his arm...

He knew that he'd hurt Sanada, by turning him down and trying to still be friends like nothing was different. By running from Sanada when the awkwardness got to be too much, by telling Sanada his truth, about all those nameless sexual escapades,

...It looked like all of Yukimura's behavior...might have hurt Sanada more than he'd realized.

Yukimura had also known, in the back of his mind somewhere, that there would be things they needed to talk through. The time for that talk, apparently, was now.

He rolled onto his side, draping an arm around Sanada. "It's real, Gen. It's so very real." He ran his hand along Sanada's arm, gently prying it away from his eyes. "And because it's real, I will wait as long as it takes for you to believe it." Yukimura felt tears in his own eyes. It hurt, to see this much pain on Sanada's face.

Sanada reached out blindly. The need he felt was strange...new.

"Seiichi. ...Do you want me?" Sanada choked out the words. It felt like ... all of his hurt pride was in them, years of denial.

"Show me. ...Please." Sanada hid his eyes again. This hurt...was like ripping a scar off a wound.

Yukimura blinked in surprise. Of course he wanted Sanada... He wouldn't be there right now if he didn't.

But Sanada's tone...

Sanada wanted Yukimura to show him, hm? He could do that.

Yukimura swung a leg over Sanada, positioning himself so he was seated just below Sanada's hips. "Gen. I want you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. You...are everything to me. I know... I know I've done things that hurt you. And if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, I'd change every bit of it." Yukimura's voice sounded more sure than he felt. He was always afraid that he'd pull away from Sanada... It had never occurred to him that it might be Sanada pulling away. "I'm sorry, Gen. For all the years of pain I've caused you." His hands worked slowly, unbuttoning Sanada's shirt with slightly shaking fingers.

Sanada stared up and swallowed with an effort. He was on his back. Yukimura was over him...his hands stroked up Yukimura's thighs, feeling the strong muscle.

"...You did it because you thought it was best for me. I know..." But...was his body so easily passed over?

"Seiichi. I've never done this before." Sanada's voice was uncertain, rough. "Only...for you. Would I..."

Yukimura nodded. "I'll go slow. If you change your mind, say so. I won't get upset."

"I thought it was best for you...for me...for us. I thought that if I gave into myself, I'd ruin our friendship." He slipped the last button out of its hole, then put his palms under the shirt, against Sanada's stomach, and slid them outwards, spreading Sanada's shirt. "But that doesn't mean that I didn't want to."

Yukimura let his eyes roam over the exposed skin, his hands following, touching almost reverently. He'd seen Sanada's bare chest and stomach before. Earlier that day in the pool, in the showers at the CIA's gym and back in high school, at the beach when their families had let them vacation together.

But never before had he let himself look at it the way he was now, eyes and hands exploring to commit every inch to memory. The lines of muscle, the contrast between the skin of Sanada's chest and the color of his nipples, the washboard abs, even Sanada's bellybutton.

Sanada stared at Yukimura's face. He was waiting for something -- approval? Delight? Wasn't sure. He turned his face to the side, finally, cheeks burning at the inspection.

He wasn't going to ask if Yukimura liked what he saw.

It was beyond strange to be like this -- but it felt right, as though Sanada needed to know that he met Yukimura's standards...

Embarrassing. It undid Sanada a little more, to give up this much control, and his eyes moved back, large and bruised and curious.

"Touch me more..." ...Please.

Yukimura's hands kept roaming everywhere, savoring the feel of Sanada's skin beneath his palms and fingers. He mused that already, he'd touched Sanada more than he touched most of the men who'd bottomed to him over the years. Usually, he just took what he needed, doing just enough to make sure his partner enjoyed himself as well. Never touched the other because he wanted to.

He leaned down, burying his nose against Sanada's chest, and breathed in deeply. He could smell that scent that belonged only to Sanada, lying just under the lingering smell of chlorine from the pool. "Mmmm..."

Yukimura pressed a kiss softly over Sanada's heart as his fingers played in the lines of Sanada's abs. "I'm never going to quit touching you."

So this was love. Sanada touched Yukimura's skin -- down the curve of his spine. Realized that the other man was still in a shirt and pushed it up -- pulled it off.

Love felt almost painful. Like -- having someone step through all of your defenses, until you were left without any recourse but to put yourself in their power. Don't hurt me, please.

Sanada pressed Yukimura's unclad torso against his own, a low growl emerging from the softness of it, skin against skin. His hand ran backward and found Yukimura's lower back, explored it just as thoroughly, fingers sliding further and further down...

"Seiichi..." More, please. Please...

Yukimura chuckled, the dogtag around his neck getting a little caught between them. He'd not worn it in the pool, but he'd slid it on under his sweater when he changed.

Sanada was touching him back. That was a good sign.

Yukimura gave a long, slow lick up the center of Sanada's chest, tasting the other's skin. He kept licking, first over one nipple, then the other. Swirled his tongue around it and flicked at it until it hardened, then sucked it into his mouth with a purr.

God, this was addicting.

"I'll need your dogtag back. I'm not feeling like a faithful friend any longer, Seiichi," Sanada growled, tugging on it. Not unless the silversmith could insert the word boy in front of friend.

And then Sanada's nipples were getting toyed with. "NNnnnhhh..." Sanada's back arched despite himself, hands going down to cup and caress Yukimura's rear, body riding into the wetness and heat and sensation.

Sanada wasn't usually the one that got to feel this...

He returned the favor, fingers sliding down the back of Yukimura's pants to trace down his rear.

Yukimura grinned. "You can have it. I decided I don't like it anyway, especially since it's not appropriate," he replied, leaning up enough to slide it off. He set it on the nightstand beside Sanada's bed. "But then you owe me a Christmas present," Yukimura winked.

He had to stop himself from wiggling at the hands on his rear. "Gen...I won't be able to top you if you keep that up," he commented, and then sucked the wet nipple into his mouth and rolled it against his tongue.

Sanada's mood was changing, despite (or because of?) the lovemaking to his nipples.

"I think...it's too late," Sanada said in a low growl. He was released from his promise. He had Yukimura there with him, and he was about to fuck the daylights out of his boy friend.

Sanada gripped Yukimura by the hips and slid his ass up until it was sitting squarely on top of Sanada's aching erection, rubbing himself up in a slow stroke that Yukimura was sure to feel through his pants.

He undid Yukimura's pants with a flick of his thumb and finger, unzipped, and reached a hand in to explore what he'd find...

Felt Seiichi's erection for the first time, giving it a slow stroke with his hand.

"For years of denial, you deserve so much torture."

Sanada was going to extract apology after apology out of Yukimura's body. But in only the best possible way...

"But not tonight," Sanada said with an animal smile.

In another movement, Yukimura was on his back, and his pants were across the room.

Yukimura blinked.

And then he laughed, finding himself now completely naked (because Sanada had yanked off his boxers too, apparently) beneath Sanada. He didn't care which of them topped tonight. There would be plenty of chances to switch roles later.

"Welcome back?" he asked, smiling, hoping that Sanada was back to normal.

Sanada kissed the smile, tongue thrusting deep, hand reaching sideways for the bottle of lube that lay dusty in his drawer. Last time he'd used it was...Sanada had to think. Kajimoto?

Yes...

He popped open the top, brought it between Yukimura's legs, and shifted so that he could pour a trail of cold, slippery fluid over the top of Yukimura's balls... feeling it between them as it ran a cold path to Yukimura's entrance.

Sanada's finger trailed through the lube...wet itself completely. And then found the little opening and pushed in slowly.

"Yes."

"Nnnh...Gen..." Yukimura couldn't remember the last time he'd bottomed to someone, and he was tight around Sanada's finger. But Sanada was being good to him, going slow.

He ran his hands through Sanada's hair, down his neck and along his shoulders. "Gen...please...let me see all of you?"

Oh. Right... Sanada laughed. "I was eager." One of his hands was occupied.

The other one went and undid his pants, wiggling out of them a bit awkwardly -- but then they were both bare and naked and face to face.

Sanada crawled up over Yukimura so that the other man could get in a good long look, if he wanted to...finger still working in a slow stroke in and out of the tight pucker.

"Like what you see?" The smirk on Sanada's face made it less insecure and more a foregone conclusion.

Sanada wasn't at all insecure about that.

Yukimura just stared for a moment, eyes a little wide. And then his hands moved, fingers tracing and feeling and stroking all over Sanada's length.

" 'Like' is an understatement," he breathed, wrapping his hand around around it and stroking in time with Sanada's finger inside him.

Sanada's breath went faster at the stroking hand on his cock. He lowered himself, pressed their cocks together so that Yukimura's hand could work them both, and kept his finger feeling up inside of Yukimura in a slow, teasing stroke.

"Bet you never thought you'd see me up here," Sanada said with a wicked glint in his eye, finger clenched so tightly and hotly...

He wasn't many inches from Yukimura's mouth.

Yukimura groaned, wrapping his hand around them both and stroking, slow and light for now. He leaned up and chewed softly on Sanada's lower lip, tongue flicking at it in sensual little licks.

"Only in my dreams," he admitted. "And those pale in comparison to the real thing." His free hand tangled into the back of Sanada's hair, pulling him down to close those inches between them with a kiss, hot and deep and loving.

Sanada felt himself seduced more and more and more...although he didn't need any more seduction. His mouth was full, tongues tangling, exploring and licking and tasting just as he was exploring the space inside of Seiichi...

Sanada tipped his hips in little thrusts, rubbing against Yukimura's hand, pushing his finger around until he could add another, mouth kissing wet and deep and lingeringly...

He never wanted to stop that kiss.

Yukimura kept the kiss going, only stopping for a second or two to breathe before going in for more. He spread his legs, letting Sanada in, his hips rocking between the fingers inside him and the friction of his own erection rubbing against Sanada's.

Probably the most time he'd spent on sex in years, and certainly felt far better already than any he could remember.

He ran his thumb over Sanada's tip and then his own, sharing the wetness of them both.

Three fingers into Yukimura's tightness, and Sanada was moaning into the kiss. Their skin slid in a hot, increasingly sweaty friction, their cocks too. And his cock was aching to join their bodies and make them one...

"You're mine." Low voice that brooked no argument, murmured against Yukimura's lips.

And as soon as Yukimura felt ready, Sanada slipped down a little, took a deep breath, and took him in a slow, aching, amazing slide.

It was frightening. Amazing. Unzipped his heart. Made him quail. Made him shout with the ache of finally joining his body to Yukimura's...

"AAhhh...Seiichi..."

"Nnnnnhhh...Gen...." Yukimura clung to Sanada, legs wrapping around his now-lover's hips.

He held himself still a moment, giving himself time to adjust. And then, when the slight pain had faded, he moved his hips a little, starting a slow pace between them.

It felt amazing...Sanada's body deep inside his own...bodies pressed together in this most intimate embrace.

"All yours...only yours..."

It was like having sex in the cockpit of an airplane (yes, Sanada had been crazy enough to do that once) -- the terror at the loss of control mitigated by the utter thrill of the moment.

"NNNhhhh..." Sanada's body moved of its own accord, head thrown back, mind taken over by the blind need of his body...Yukimura a dark and velvet presence beneath him, eyes on his like stars in the middle of a midnight sky.

His? No. More like Sanada was Yukimura's.

Yukimura was already panting. Their bodies fit like piece of a puzzle, and it seemed like they already knew what worked.

Sex...had never been this good before.

"I love you, Gen," he managed, between panting breaths. "I love you I love you I love you..."

It felt like he couldn't say it enough.

"That's good..." Sanada said, panting...groaning. "Because now, you can't...get away." Not when Yukimura was trapped by Sanada's body... Sanada figured they could stay like that for a long time.

Sanada's hand trailed down Yukimura's chest, found that perfect cock again and stroked it in time to his upward thrusting hardness.

In time, he'd learn all of the things that Yukimura liked best. For now, the simplest sex felt overwhelming. Sanada concentrated on rhythm -- and speed -- and thrust -- and synching their bodies into one heartbeat and motion.

"Nnnnnnnnhh..." Yukimura didn't want to get away. He wanted to stay right where he was, with Sanada, loving and being loved...

He chuckled softly, burying his face against Sanada's neck. For as afraid of this moment as he'd been, he was beyond amazed at how good it felt, how much he wanted to do it again...and again and again and again.

Yukimura had a brief moment of thought, where his mind imagined him going back to his old ways, sleeping with some nameless, faceless man that he'd never see again... And it hurt to think it. He clung to Sanada tighter, moving with the rhythm.

If, for some reason, he never got to sleep with Sanada again......Yukimura knew then that he'd be celibate the rest of his life.

Sanada heard the moan and the little laugh and thought he understood -- he'd be laughing too at how good it felt, how synchronous and synchronized they were, if he wasn't too busy trying not to come.

He ran a hand beneath Yukimura's slender hip and hoisted up a leg to shift the angle -- felt his cock ease over the prostate, swift strokes, again and again...his hand working at the same pace.

Sanada kissed everywhere he could find, mouth wet and hot and panting...

Yukimura arched, crying out with pleasure as Sanada's cock found his prostate... It'd been so long, he'd forgotten what that felt like.

"Aaaahhh....Gennnnn....I'mnot...gonna last..."

It almost felt like it was going to be over too soon...but there'd be time for a round two. And three, and four, and five... For the rest of their lives, as long as Sanada wanted him that long.

There would be a time when Yukimura would say something like that...and Sanada would help stave off the orgasm...but tonight wasn't just about sex. Instead, it was about ... love ... and claiming Yukimura as his own.

Sanada closed his eyes and met Yukimura's motions with his own, cock striking and sliding past the prostate and burying itself deep.

Everything about it felt too good. Unbelievably good, and Yukimura had to wonder if he was dreaming this...

But it was too real. The feel of Sanada's body above his own, Sanada's scent, the little sounds Sanada might not even know he was making... His dreams were never this vivid.

He tilted his hips, just slightly, and the shift in angle combined with everything else to push him over. Yukimura came hard, moaning loudly, glad the place was empty except for them.

Sanada felt Yukimura's warm come on his hands -- on his stomach, on Yukimura's stomach, a wet splatter of lust... Sanada came from the erotic feeling of it, his body pressing in, down, onto Yukimura as he claimed him.

"NNNNNhhhhhh..." his moan joined Yukimura's, filling the apartment with the noise of their lovemaking.

Yukimura slumped back against the bed, his whole body feeling limp, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

His eyes were closed, Yukimura floating in the most amazing post-orgasmic haze he'd ever felt. This must be what heaven was like...

"God, Gen..."

Sanada lay down on Yukimura's body and pressed his nose into Yukimura's soft dusky hair.

"...I'm a little angry at you for holding out on THIS kind of thing for so many years."

But Sanada's voice was teasing, a little dry.

His hand went out and joined Yukimura's hand, bringing the knuckles to his lips.

"Oh God, I love you."

"I can definitely say...that that was the best sex I've ever had," Yukimura admitted.

He bit the inside of his cheek. Why...why was part of him already trying to run? Yukimura took a deep breath and held Sanada tightly against him. No. He was not going to leave. He was not going to do that to Sanada, to the man he loved, to the man who'd had him feeling so unbelievably good just moments before.

...This random desire to run...was just an old habit that didn't want to die. But Yukimura was going to kill it.

"I love you, Gen," he whispered, nuzzling Sanada's shoulder.

Sanada pulled out of Yukimura and got a small, soft towel from the drawer...dried his lover off, and then himself. And then he settled himself against Yukimura's side, hand tracing lightly down the taut abs. He wasn't holding Yukimura down; but he was warm and near.

Sanada felt overwhelmed. Wondered why he still felt anxious, and realized that now was the test.

He smiled at the words. "I love you too. ...Seiichi. If you have to go...you can."

The words cost him a lot. But Sanada knew that he'd do much for Yukimura's comfort.

Even if it meant crying into a pillow by himself. At least nobody would be there to see his utter defeat.

Yukimura shook his head almost frantically. "No. No, Genichirou. Don't even tell me that." He clung to Sanada. He didn't want to hear that Sanada would let him go...because he was afraid he might actually leave.

And if he left...he might not come back...

No. Damn it, Seiichi, get ahold of yourself and quit thinking like that. Gen's different. You love him. Remember how it felt to wake up next to him?

That's right... Yukimura remembered that well. How good it had felt, how much he'd felt like he was right where he belonged. It was that moment that had made him realize that it would be different with Sanada.

He'd thought he'd been a fool before, denying himself and hurting Sanada. Leaving him, and all that Sanada meant, would be even more foolish.

Sanada sighed, curled an arm around Yukimura, pulled him close.

Sex, perhaps unsurprisingly, didn't erase their issues. In fact, it was the core of their issues. Sanada thought back to their sparring session -- the tension between them, how it erupted in touches, flirtation, softly murmured words.

And then, Sanada had allowed Yukimura a glimpse into his emotions -- and the blind panic he felt when he thought about Yukimura leaving again. Kakkoikunai...

The most uncool thing, ever. Sanada felt like shutting back up again. Slowly rebuilding the wall until he was cool and impassive, putting back up the facade.

But now was not the time for that. Now was the time for bravery in the face of an impossible task, the task of confronting the worst fear of his heart.

"Seiichi. My place is always at your side. For now and forever... And if you leave, I'll be right behind you."

"I am not going to leave, Gen," Yukimura replied, voice firm. "My place is right here, in your arms. Nowhere else. No one else makes me feel like you do, like I've come home."

He curled against Sanada, his face buried in his boyfriend's chest. "Leaving is...an old habit. But it's not like I can't break myself of it. I can, and I will, and I'm going to start kicking it. Right here, right now."

Yukimura took a deep breath, breathing in Sanada's own scent, tinged with the smells of sex and sweat (and still a tiny bit of chlorine from the pool). His hands roamed all over Sanada's skin, and he smiled a little.

He didn't feel so much like running anymore.

Sanada smiled.

"Should I distract you?"

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