RP Log: Fuji and Tezuka

[kunimitsuno]

Date: Evening, February 1st 2007
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Tezuka invites Fuji over after leaving work on time again. He's not used to the silence in the apartment, and Fuji fills it nicely. This was meant to be one log, but it was so long it had to be broken into two.



Setting the steaming cup before Fuji, Tezuka wondered if Saeki knew Fuji was here. He didn't ask, though, allowing the other to get comfortable and settle in. Difficult questions didn't need to be spoken of immediately. "I hope it's not too hot," he said, setting his own cup down before crossing his legs to sit beside Fuji.

"It'll do." The spy smiled pleasantly as he picked up the cup, letting the warm ceramic heat his cool hands. "You usually don't like company on weekdays, Tezuka." Fuji observed quitely as he sipped on the hot liquid.

"Things are slow right now." Tezuka blew lightly on his tea. He hadn't needed to stay back for any reports or other busywork. It still felt strange to leave the office while it was light outside.

"I see." Fuji nodded, he would never say anything about the other's current situation, but he was glad to no longer see the glassed man so overworked. "Takes some getting used to?"

Tezuka nodded. He sipped the tea. It felt very strange being here without anything to be done at the office. "Chess?" he said, needing to occupy his time.

"If you wish." Fuji shrugged, he had no problem with sitting here and chatting, to just enjoy the other man's company.

Standing, Tezuka opened the cupboard and carefully retrieved the new chess set. He set the box to the side of the small table, and took a seat opposite Fuji, then slowly began setting up the pieces. Fuji had drawn the spectacles on the white king, so Tezuka took white without asking, but he met Fuji's eyes for confirmation as he set the two kings down on the board.

Ready now, Tezuka moved a pawn to e4, and settled back. They could converse over the chessboard as they used to. He needed the familiarity right now. It was, perhaps, a true weakness--that Tezuka Kunimitsu needed routine of some sort in his life to feel centered--but it didn't really matter what routines he had in the privacy of his home, did it?

Fuji smiled and nodded, he always took the black. Watching Tezuka's opening move, he smiled again, and mirrored it.

Tezuka gave Fuji a glance, and then made a move that put Fuji's pawn in jeopardy.

But Fuji just mirrored the move again, it really never mattered to him if he won or lost. As long as he had fun and enjoyed the game, as long as the person who deserved the win obtained the crown... as long as Tezuka won.

Tezuka took the pawn, and the symmetry was broken. "You have a lot of free time," he said, approaching the subject carefully.

"Do I?" The loss of the pawn seemed to go unoticed as the spy simply moved another piece in the same move that took his pawn.

If this continued the game would become a mockery, and so Tezuka merely advanced a pawn one square to do something. "You wear his ring, and yet you spend time with me." I would have said something.

There was a slight pause before Fuji copied the move once more. "I promised to not take it off myself." The spy answered softly. The mention of the ring and the man who gave him the ring pained him, yet he refused to show any of it.

Tezuka gave Fuji another look, waiting until Fuji looked up, meeting the other's eyes. Do you want me to? White castled, king's side.

Fuji met the other's eyes, then looked away. "Anything you want, I will give." The black bishop, a piece that was always associated with Fuji himself, was placed in open danger.

"Saeki will notice its absence." Unless you put it back on.

The blue eyes dropped to the floor, but Fuji did not reply. He... hadn't seen the analyst since... since he'd informed the silver-haired man of the latest developments.

Tezuka did not press Fuji, and merely moved a different piece, allowing the black bishop to continue. "Fuji," he said, quietly.

"Yes, Tezuka?" But Fuji left the bishop in the front line, choosing instead to move another piece.

"Ask me to take it off."

"What?" Fuji regarded the former director with open shock.

The shock was telling. "I ... see." Tezuka's eyes stayed on the chessboard, and his face was carefully impassive.

"Tezuka..." Fuji unconsiously held his left hand against his chest as if to protect the ring. Granted, he still had the earring, but...

Saeki...

Silently, Tezuka moved another piece, putting yet another of Fuji's pieces in danger. He had never played this recklessly before, attacking so early in the game.

The spy's mind was in chaos. To lose the ring would mean to go totally against his promise to the analyst. But just as Saeki had his priorities, Fuji had his.

Wordlessly, he extended his left hand in front of Tezuka. He wouldn't make himself ask for it to be removed, he just... couldn't. And hoped the other wouldn't push him any more.

Taking Fuji's hand, Tezuka gently stroked it, and fingered the ring, but he didn't remove it. I won't unless you ask me to.

"Tezuka..." Fuji managed to say as he felt the other take his hand, his voice straining with controlled emotion. "Anything you want... I would give." Please don't make me say anymore, I can't...

"Fuji," Tezuka said, and he shook his head lightly. It didn't matter what Tezuka wanted unless Fuji wanted this too. What use was Fuji's heart if Saeki occupied a corner and wouldn't leave?

"Tezuka..." Fuji shook his head. "Please, don't make me do it." The spy whispered lightly, in an almost begging tone. "Don't... I would give you anything, but don't make me say it."

He could feel his heart constrict, but Tezuka nodded. He pushed Fuji's hand back, turning his attention to the chessboard again. Another piece moved, another black piece in jeopardy.

The other's touch... suddenly felt cold and the act of being pushed away pained him more than a thousand needles. Fuji's hands fisted in his lap, willing himself to stay calm and composed even when his body shook with the supressed emotions.

They stayed that way for a while.

Fuji was willing for him to take it off, Tezuka knew. And yet ... he was unwilling to. For as long as Fuji wore the ring, a part of Fuji would always be Saeki's. Tezuka had wronged the other man already, merely by kissing Fuji, touching him ... sleeping with him. To take Saeki's ring off Fuji required more from Tezuka than he currently had the strength for right now, simple as the act was.

So Tezuka sat, eyes on the chessboard to give Fuji space, wondering why he felt as if his heart had just cracked a little.

It was all his own fault, Tezuka knew, but that made it all the more worse.

Why did it have to come down to this? Fuji had asked himself too many times recently.

Because he couldn't keep his feelings to himself, because he couldn't love just one person, because he couldn't devote himself to just one other. And in the end, he had dragged the two he loved the most down with him, and both Tezuka and Saeki deserved better.

"I will always be with you, you are MINE." The voice started to echo again, as it often did whenever the spy was alone. Words that was softly whispered to him, normally reinforced by the strong presence of the other man within himself...

The brunet reached up to hold his head, it hurt.

Noticing the motion, Tezuka glanced up. "Fuji?" There was a shade of concern in his voice.

"... Anything for you, Tezuka." Fuji whispered. "I would do anything for you."

"I will never hurt you like that; you're MINE..."

And apprently, so would Saeki.

Fuji didn't look very well to Tezuka, but Tezuka thought perhaps he understood. Abandoning the game, Tezuka stood, moving to behind Fuji. He sat down again, and circled his arms around the other man.

"I'm here now, Fuji," Tezuka said, quietly, holding Fuji tightly. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting, but I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. Take as much time as you need."

"I..." Without thinking Fuji leaned against the other man, his mind knowing automatically that the other's voice and warmth could quiet the voices for the time being. "Anything you want... take it."

"I have what I want," Tezuka said, quietly, and he nuzzled Fuji gently. "I can wait."

"Tezuka..." The brunet murmured, and before he himself even knew what was going on, he was sealing the other man's voice with his own, desperately, in a attempt to quiet the voices that had been haunting him.

He could feel Fuji shift, knew when Fuji was about to kiss him, and Tezuka kissed back, arms tightening around the other. He wasn't quite sure what Fuji was wrestling with at the moment, but he would be there. It was time to be Fuji's safe harbour. I'm here.

The spy's kisses were needing, borderlining frantic as he sought the taste of the other's flesh. Anything, anything to quiet the voices that made him feel more guilty than he had ever before. Instinctively Fuji knew that Tezuka could silence the prosecuting echos.

Fuji's kisses seemed to seek shelter and refuge, needy and frantic as they were. And Tezuka allowed it, encouraged it. He took everything without complaint, and gave as good as he got.

Despite his needs, the physical need for air forced the spy to break the kiss, and he looked back at Tezuka. The blue eyes seemed normal, except for the slight shade of confusion and utter loss that looked back at the agent.

Gently, Tezuka stroked Fuji's hair. "We all have inner demons," was all he said.

No, I deserve this, because I can't love just one person, I can't think of only that one person... "Tezuka..." The spy pulled himself flush against the glassed man. "Did you mean what you said?"

Nodding, Tezuka stroked Fuji's back. "I love you," he said, again, somehow understanding that Fuji might perhaps need to hear the words.

"Then just do as you please, and not ask."

"Will it take away your demons if I do?"

Would it? Fuji really didn't know, he just... wanted to not stand in one place anymore, to just belong without hesitation. "Tezuka..." The spy's hands were on the agent's chest, softly caressing the muscles through the soft material. "Love me."

"I already do," Tezuka said, but he understood what Fuji was asking. Bending his head, Tezuka kissed Fuji again, hand moving up from the embrace, cupping Fuji's head.

And the brunet eagerly met the kiss. The voice dimmed somewhat, but it still plagued the spy's mind with its accusations and declarations.

Tezuka stroked Fuji's face, deepening the kiss before breaking it. "More?" he asked, nibbling Fuji's lips lightly.

That caused the spy to blink. Was the other man actually being playful?

The look on Fuji's face amused Tezuka, and it lightened the mood. "You think me incapable of humor," Tezuka said, and nuzzled Fuji's cheek. "After all these years, Fuji."

Perhaps it was because of all those years that it surprised the spy. But Fuji chuckled. "Keeps things interesting."

"I thought I was boring as toast," Tezuka said, and he gently nibbled Fuji's lips again.

"I thought you had your charms."

"It's an open secret that your tastes tend towards the eclectic," Tezuka said, a light smile on his lips. He squeezed Fuji again, and hugged him. "Including dry toast."

"I wouldn't say dry..." The spy kisses the other's lips gently. "Just... a developed taste."

"That explains the wasabi," Tezuka said. He kissed Fuji again, and felt the stirrings of desire within him. So this was what it was like to love. To be anyone--everyone--to one person. To show them all the facets of your personality.

"I was sad when I found out they didn't make wasabi milk." The spy nuzzled the agent, sneaking kisses and light bites here and there. Tezuka's body was warm, and it comforted Fuji as it calmed the voices.

"I'm surprised you don't make it yourself," Tezuka said. He nuzzled back, stroking Fuji's neck and cheek, running a finger down the spy's jaw.

"I did..." Fuji turned his head to kiss and suck lightly on the finger. "The test subject was in the hospital for a few days." Good thing Saeki was a strong lab rat.

Tezuka blanched a little. "Will I be testing any more of those?"

Fuji slipped his arms around the other's neck to pull the glassed man closer. "Depends on if you behave~"

"I'll have to please you, then, won't I?" Tezuka said, softly, and he kissed Fuji again. It was slow, now, and languid. He licked Fuji's lips, softly sucked on them, and then, finding no resistance, slipped his tongue into Fuji's mouth again, stroking the other's soft tongue with his own, sucking lightly.

The spy's breath was caught in his throat at the kiss, opening his mouth submissvely to allow Tezuka passage, his hands fisting in the back of the agent's shirt as the kiss deepened.

It was difficult to break the kiss this time, but Tezuka did, nibbling the other's lips. "We shouldn't sleep on the couch again," he said, perhaps slightly breathless.

"Then lead the way." I'll go wherever you go. Not that Fuji had a problem with sleeping on the coach, it was his bed before... everything had happened.

Nuzzling Fuji, Tezuka moved his arms. He bent, preparing to lift. "Hang on," he said, and nuzzled Fuji again.

Chuckling once more, Fuji tightened his arms around Tezuka's neck. Kicking his legs casually as he was picked up, the spy nuzzled the agent once more.

Tezuka nuzzled back. "Careful," he said, and his arms tightened. Fuji wasn't exactly light--no adult human was. Still, Tezuka managed to deposit Fuji safely on his bed. "You can let go now," he said.

"And if I don't want to?" Fuji's playful breath was light upon the other man's face, even slightly tickling.

"Then you have me at your mercy," Tezuka said, and he nuzzled Fuji again. "What will you do?"

"Anything you wish." Fuji replied. It was an answer he would always give.

"And if I wish you to tell me? Syusuke?"

"The answer would still be the..." Fuji regarded Tezuka carefully. Today... seemed to be a day of surprises. The glassed man had never, in all their years of acquaintance, referred to him by his given name.

Noticing Fuji's look, Tezuka paused, and bit his lip. Perhaps that had been a little hasty. "I-- I'm sorry. I stepped too far, Fuji."

"No," The spy leaned forward to gently kiss the other man. "Say it again."

So it had been the surprise of unexpectedness, not of overstepping boundaries. "Syusuke," Tezuka said, again. He kissed Fuji, and pushed until they were both half-lying on the bed. He tried it again, the name slipping off his tongue easily. "Syusuke."

The sound of his name rolling off the other man's tongue was exhilirating, especially in that tone that Tezuka would say the name in. "Again," The spy demanded, his breath quickening. "Again."

"Syusuke." Tezuka kissed Fuji's forehead. "Syusuke." Eyes. "Syusuke." Nose, cheek. "Syusuke." Lips, and a momentary pause, as he prolonged it, and then murmured softly, nibbling Fuji's lips. "Syusuke."

Tezuka's fingers undid the buttons on Fuji's shirt, now, and each button opened revealed skin that Tezuka bent his head down to kiss and nibble, lightly. He ignored the marks Saeki had left. "Syusuke." "Syusuke." "Syusuke."

Fuji's breathing hiked each time his name was murmured with the velvety voice. "Tezuka..." The spy moaned as the other's lips came in contact with an sensitive spot.

Tezuka paused, and then lifted his head, and went no further. "Say my name," he whispered, softly, voice thicker now.

The other blinked the slowly building desire out of his eyes as he looked back at the man on top of him. "Ku... Kunimi... tsu." The spy's voice was shy as he whispered the name of the agent.

Tezuka smiled then, a gentle warm smile. "Syusuke." He moved back up, and kissed Fuji again, undoing the last button as he deepened the kiss. His fingers stroked and touched, and then dipped further, gently working under the waist of Fuji's pants as Tezuka's tongue stroked Fuji's own and he explored Fuji's mouth breathlessly. If the last time had been hurried and needy ... this time, Tezuka wanted to love Fuji as the other should be loved.

Fuji drew his breath sharply as he felt the other's warm hand dodging down to his waistline, then again as he felt the beautiful fingers on him. "Tezu... Kunimitsu..." Fuji whispered against the agent's lips, more surely this time as he spoke the syllables he had never allowed himself to utter.

"I'm here, Syusuke," Tezuka said, and he kissed Fuji again. His fingers undid the clasp, and then he unzipped Fuji's pants, and gently stroked Fuji's length. "You're here, and I'm here, and this is all I need, Syusuke." Tezuka's fingers caressed the other lovingly through the thin cotton cloth.

Fuji arched into the touch, his back raising slightly off the bed into the warmth radiating from the other's hand. "Tezuka..." Again slipping into the name he was much more familiar with as the desire washed over him once more.

Tezuka's fingers stilled, and lifted away, and the kiss was broken. "Syusuke," he said.

The sudden stop caused a slight fustration in the once again building need. "Yes, Tez... oh."

Tezuka gave Fuji an encouraging look, but an expectant one.

"Yes... Kunimitsu." The spy's eyes lowered submissively.

Kissing Fuji's lowered eyes, Tezuka stroked again, and then moved downwards, gently tugging. "Lift your hips," he said, fingers already curling under Fuji's waistband, hooking into beltloops.

Obediently, the spy raised his hips lightly off the bed, willingly cooperating with anything the other man might want of him.

Removing Fuji's pants, Tezuka dropped them off the edge of the bed, and he tugged off Fuji's underwear too, freeing the other. The purplish-red mark Tezuka left the last time they have done this was revealed, and Tezuka gently stroked a thumb across the skin, and then bent his head down again. "Syusuke," he murmured against the bruised skin, and kissed it, then sucked, renewing it. His hand stole upwards, and he found Fuji's cock, stroking it again.

"Ahh...!" Fuji gasped as he felt himself getting marked once more. Tezuka's hand on him wasn't helping the spy in the control department. The warm hand invoked a wave of crackling sensation up his body. "Te... Kunimitsu!"

In response, Tezuka moved, lips leaving the warmth of Fuji's skin. He kept one hand on Fuji, stroking, not letting go, and with the other he reached, glad the bedside table was near, and opened the drawer where the lube had been returned. Very glad for pop-open caps, he squeezed some into his hand, and then left the open tube beside his alarm clock.

While he rubbed the cool slick gel between his fingers to warm it, Tezuka bent down. Giving Fuji a quick look, Tezuka's mouth encircled the tip of Fuji's erection and he licked it, lightly. His fingers gently probed Fuji's entrance, and Tezuka slipped one in as he began to lightly suck.

Oh god... Fuji's body shook with the pleasure the other man was inducing in him, so much that he barely felt the finger penetrating his body. "Kuni...mitsu" The spy breathed heavily, his hands finding their way into the dark strands.

In response, Tezuka added another finger, stretching Fuji carefully, distracting Fuji with his tongue and gentle nips on Fuji's cock as he continued to suck. And then another finger, the third a tight fit that he carefully, very slowly slid in, glad he had used so much lubrication.

The spy's body writhed, slender legs kicked lightly as Fuji gasped out loud at the sensations. The blue eyes were becoming increasingly glazed over from the desire that Tezuka was building inside of him.

He wanted Fuji to come, Tezuka thought, and he wriggled the fingers inside the other, searching for the spot he knew would make Fuji arch. With his other arm, he held Fuji down, and began sucking harder, deep-throating the other man. He felt his fingers brush against the spot.

The answer was immediate as Fuji let out an explosive breath. "Tezuka!" The slender body started to wiggle and cringe against the fingers. It felt so good with the other touching him like that, but... he wanted to be the one pleasuring Tezuka, he wanted to be... he moaned again.

Perhaps it was as habitual for him to hear Fuji call his last name as it was for Fuji to use it. Tezuka didn't stop, though he curled his finger, and rubbed again, harder.

The spy moaned lightly once more, hands gripping tightly into the sheets, pulling and tugging at them as he tried to contain the pleasure that was washing over him. "No... together..."

As if Tezuka could resist Fuji. Nodding, he released Fuji, withdrawing his fingers, spreading what he could on his own erection. He squeezed a little more out of the tube, and hissed a little as the cool gel touched sensitive skin. Spreading it out quickly, Tezuka reached out, and stroked Fuji's cock. "I'm coming in," he said, warning Fuji, and then gently, slowly, he thrust in.

The brunet had to bite down on his own lips to keep from crying out loud. As much as he tried to keep his body still for Tezuka, the overwhelming pleasure was hard to contain. But Fuji still forced himself to accept the agent's throbbing length, pushing himself against the other man until he had taken in the other entirely.

Inside Fuji now, Tezuka had to pause, gasping involuntarily as he bit his lips to try and keep from making any sudden movements. Fuji was hot and tight and Tezuka thought it would be difficult to last very long this way. His cock ached, itching to move, and Tezuka moaned softly and did so, fingers pleasuring Fuji's erection.

Under Tezuka, Fuji moaned, the agent was extremely tight in him. The spy strained under the other man, arms pulling the other closer so he could kiss the glassed man deeply as his body began to dance along with the other man's rhythm.

Feeling himself pulled down, Tezuka obeyed the arms that plucked at him. The movement changed his angle, and for the better, it seemed, judging from Fuji's reaction. It was certainly better for Tezuka, who cried out, and began to tremble as orgasm threatened, so close ...

"No... not yet..." Fuji breathed, his eyes focused solely on Tezuka's face, on the stern man's expression. But even as his words asked gently, his body did the opposite. Slender legs hooked around the agent's waist to bring the other closer, deeper. He wanted to see the other man lose control, to give up that tightly-reined composure. "Don't let go... not yet."

Groaning, Tezuka tried, biting his lips painfully, hoping to distract himself. Fuji was asking something he was afraid he might not be able to give, he thought, and the trembling grew as Tezuka gasped and cried out again, not daring to move, yet needing to move.

He didn't need to move, Fuji was moving against him. Rolling his hips against Tezuka's member, crying and moaning at every sensation the agent was inducing with him. "Try to... last." The spy whispered against the former director's ears as he continuously brought himself down against the other.

"I--" Tezuka couldn't help the uncharacteristic whimper, and he shook, clinging tightly to Fuji, fingers digging in with the effort of holding back. If only Fuji wasn't moving against him like this, it would be easier, he thought, but then Fuji shifted again and he moaned. "Fuji-- I-- wait-- stop--"

"No." Fuji whispered as he licked at the other's ear. His body shivering and writhing with the intense pleasure, amplified further by the look on Tezuka's face. "I want... to see you... lose control." Their bodies frictioned against each other sensually as the spy continued to pull at Tezuka's control.

If Tezuka was ever sure Fuji wanted to kill him, this seemed like as good a time as any as he knitted his brows, panting, gasping, so close he felt as if the next movement might do it. "You ... might ... soon ..." he gasped, still fighting, trying hard not to come but knowing he was losing the inexorable battle. "Fuji ..."

"Just a bit longer..." The spy panted against the other's ear, nibbling on the earlobe as he pratically impaled himself on the agent's length, milking the other's member to harden even further until blood might leak through the skin. Fuji was close himself, every once of his will focused on keeping the sensations in. "Kunimitsu..."

That did it. Shuddering, Tezuka clung to Fuji with a cry, unable to hold himself in any further as he buried his face in Fuji's shoulder and his erection in Fuji's body, and let himself go at last. "Fuji--" and it trailed off as he broke into a tortured cry of pleasure and came.

Tezuka's scream was almost musical, that along with the final wild thrust into his body tore out the last strand holding the spy's own control. Crying for the agent the whole way as he spilled into the other man's hand.

Utterly spent, Tezuka could only gasp violently for breath, clinging to Fuji, feeling Fuji come beneath him, the intensity of his orgasm having completely unseated him. He was slowly regaining conscious thought as he tried vainly to think of something to do, something to say. He couldn't, only managing a weak struggle before he let himself relax against Fuji.

It was the spy's turn to catch the other as Fuji collected the other man into his arms. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, breathlessly, feeling just how much the other had filled him with.

Tezuka could only give Fuji a weak glare.

The spy chuckled lightly at the glare. "You'll get used to it."

That earned Fuji an incredulous look, before Tezuka bit his lip to stifle the chuckle. He might have to reconsider his life expectancy after this. Consciousness and strength were slowly returning to him, and Tezuka pulled out, weakly, wincing, before lying down (he refused to think of it as collapsing) beside Fuji, and pulling the other to him.

Fuji snuggled once more against the other man despite their sweaty and uncleaned state. "I saw that." The spy accused, tugging on the other's lips with his teeth.

Tezuka kissed Fuji instead, and one hand sought Fuji's arm, where he gently stroked it, running fingers down the other's flushed and sweaty skin before clasping Fuji's hand, weaving his fingers between Fuji's.

"Don't tell me you are that exhausted already." Fuji chuckled as he kissed back, body once more flushed against Tezuka's.

"Whose fault is that?" Tezuka muttered, but there was no heat in it, only satisfaction and affection. He squeezed Fuji's hand as he kissed, deeper, but then paused. He felt metal.

The ring.

Tezuka's fingers fingered it, and circled it. Saeki. Mentally offering an apology to his ancestors, Tezuka fingered it once more ... and then he gently began to pull on it.

The first tug didn't register with the equally exhausted spy, but the follow ups did. Despite the sweat now covering their skin, the ring was tight against his finger, as if it was the personification of the giver's emotions. But with the insistant tugs, the silvery ring began to loosen.

Fuji didn't say anything, just watched as the agent worked, but he closed his eyes and looked away as the ring was finally... removed.

The movement didn't go unnoticed. Ring in his hands now, Tezuka reached out, dropping it on the side table, letting it rest on the surface. Then he turned back to Fuji, and wordlessly slipped arms around the other, holding Fuji in a hug.

The spy buried his face in Tezuka's chest, arms clutching to the agent. He said no words, simply because there wasn't anything to be said that hadn't been said. Saeki... I'm sorry... He would not cry, no matter how much his heart felt like it was being ripped apart at the moment.

Smoothing down Fuji's hair, Tezuka gently kissed Fuji's forehead. He still didn't understand why he had pulled it off, but Fuji hadn't resisted, and yet seemed now to be grieving. Tezuka didn't have anything to say, and could only gently stroke Fuji.

He didn't understand it, he had promised that himself from the moment he met the glassed man that Tezuka would become his world, and he would follow his will for life. Yet, this pain... "Te... Kunimitsu?" Fuji asked softly, his voice still muffled. "Is this what you want?"

So that was how it was, Tezuka thought. I see, indeed.

"Yes," Tezuka said, and his arms tightened around Fuji, knowing what he was going to say after.

Ignoring the stabbing pain in his heart, Tezuka turned again, and retrieved the ring. He slipped both arms around Fuji, and squeezed tightly, holding Fuji like that for what felt to Tezuka like too long and not long enough. The ring was burning in his hand, warm and heavy, though it was only a few hundred grams in weight at most.

Nuzzling Fuji, Tezuka hesistated, and then spoke softly in Fuji's ear. "If you want to go to him ... go. I won't stop you." The ring appeared in the hand before Fuji's face, and Tezuka closed his eyes and loosened his hold.

"I told you, anything you want..." Fuji took the ring, but only held it in his hand for a few moments before putting it on the night stand once more, somewhere that he wouldn't forget to take it when he left. That done, he snuggled back against Tezuka. "I would give you."

I want you to be happy, Fuji. Tezuka snuggled Fuji back, and kissed him, arms tightening again, clinging to the other. I want you to smile as you look at me, and I want you not to think of him when you do. "I love you," he whispered again, closing his eyes. So help me, Fuji ... I must have known I would when I met you. And though I fought it ... I do.

The other's arms were strong around him, comforting and relaxing the spy as he settled himself against the warm embrace. "I love you too, Kunimitsu." The blue eyes looked up at him and smiled. "I finally got it."

"Got what, Fuji?" Tezuka asked, nuzzling the other.

"Your name..." The spy lazily streched against the other man. "... takes a bit getting used to."

With a stricken look, Tezuka realized he'd been calling the other Fuji again. He tried to amend that. "Syusuke," he said, and nuzzled the other apologetically.

Fuji made a face playfully. "I get it and you lose it." The spy gave Tezuka a gentle peck on the cheek.

Tezuka gently stroked the other's face. "Thank you for getting it."

Fuji leaned into the warm palm. "It's what you want."

Tezuka nodded, thinking how warm the other was.

Fuji continued to snuggle against the agent, until he realized something. "We are going to be stuck if we don't clean up."

"Would that be so bad?" Tezuka asked, but there was a hint of a smile in his eyes.

"I have no problem with it." Fuji returned the smile softly. "But think of the freak show we can put on."

"Ashamed of me?" But Tezuka brushed his lips against Fuji's and then stretched with just a trace of unwillingness. "Go ahead. I"ll change the sheets."

"Never." Fuji chuckled. "Think of the amusement factor." But he got up nevertheless. Shivering lightly from the sudden coldness without the other's body warmth.

Fuji's shiver was noticeable, and Tezuka realized with a start the other would be cold. As he stood, pushing back the covers, he could feel it too. There was a bathrobe in the cupboard, and he got it, wrapping it quickly around Fuji. "I'll turn up the heat."

"Thank you." The spy murmured as he drew the garment over his shoulders and watched Tezuka walk away. After all these years of simply watching the other man, it still seemed like a dream... a conflicted dream. A part of him wished to go after the agent and implore the other to clarify just where they stood. Because heaven knew that Fuji had never felt this confused in his life.

Turning the thermostat higher, Tezuka retrieved a fresh set of bedsheets, to change the ones on his bed for these. When he walked back into the room, Fuji was still there. "Syusuke?"

"I will not ask why you wish me to stay." The spy said slowly, shaking his head a little before he turned and headed to the bathroom to clean up.

"Do you want to go?" Tezuka asked Fuji's back.

"Only if you wish to send me away." The sound of running water began to echo as Fuji spoke.

"I never will." Tezuka wished he had never sent Fuji back to Saeki.

"Then we don't need to speak about this matter anymore." The spy replied before dipping his head under the running water. Everything else... would be his own concern.

"Aa." Fuji sounded final, and Tezuka nodded, though Fuji couldn't see him. Changing the sheets didn't take that much time, and he could hear Fuji's movements in the bathroom. Since Fuji had left the door open, Tezuka gently knocked, standing in the doorway. "May I join you?"

Inside the shower, Fuji chuckled, the sound echoing off the tiles. "It is your shower."

Deciding not to enter into a riposte about ownership, Tezuka joined Fuji, and picked up his bath sponge and some soap, then began washing Fuji's back.

The brunet looked over his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be taking care of yourself?" He said with a smile, the wet strands flat against his face.

"Aa." But Tezuka continued. He wasn't sure why, but now that he thought about it, perhaps it was because it allowed him to touch Fuji.

Fuji smiled gently and said no more, allowing the other man to do as he liked. Continued to wash, his hand came upon the slowly fading dark mark on his collarbone. He and Saeki used to take showers together all the time, althogh the spy drew the line at baths. Baths were not safe, not with the analyst around. His thought wandered for a few moments before he firmly reined it back.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Huh?" The spy snapped his attention back to the other man.

"You seem lost in them," Tezuka said, and he leaned down, gently pressing a light kiss against the wet (but not soapy) skin on Fuji's shoulder.

"It is not the only thing I'm lost in." Fuji's smile returned to his face.

"Oh?" Tezuka continued his careful sponging, gently running the edge of the sponge down the cleft between Fuji's legs.

"'Oh?' he says." The spy chuckled once more. "As if he's refusing to acknowlege any responsibilities."

"So I'm responsible for your inability with mental compasses?" Tezuka said, one hand lifting Fuji's face for a gentle kiss before continuing to sponge.

"From just about the moment I met you." The shorter man smiled gently. "Just that long."

"You realize that if you were unable to navigate before meeting me, that's merely transference," Tezuka said, but he slipped an arm around Fuji, now, pulling the other close, leaning his head against Fuji's forehead a moment.

"That's just a technicality." Fuji smiled up at the other man, reaching up to caress Tezuka's cheek lovingly.

That brought a smile to Tezuka's lips, and he turned his head, brushing his lips against Fuji's fingers. "Wars have been fought over less," he said, and nibbled a stray fingertip that wandered across his lips.

"Oh, so now we are warring?" Fuji smiled playfully.

"I capitulate," Tezuka replied, a trace of amusement in his voice.

"Not before I forfeit." The spy whispered gently before leaning up to kiss Tezuka deeply.

"Then hostilities never began." Tezuka kissed back, arms around Fuji as he stepped backwards until his back touched the wall, and he made sure they were both stable and would not fall over before he let himself kiss Fuji the way Fuji deserved.

"Mmm... as if they would." Tezuka's kisses were deep and passionate, words that one would usually never relate to the other man. And they consumed the spy, so much that Fuji thought he was falling into the abyss, yet never wished any other way.

It took forever to finish the shower, or blow dry Fuji's hair and Tezuka's, or settle into bed after coffee, and tea, and brushing together at Tezuka's sink, all activities that felt so familiar and yet so new. But that night Tezuka slept, arms wrapped around Fuji.