Rei

[potcsues]

TITLE: Midsummer Magic
CULPRIT: psycho-lemon
SUMMARY: "Not good at summaries... love, rum, disappointment, everything you'd want... Unless you, in fact, wanted a good story. rated R for sexual content in later chapters. Please R&R, I nee-eed reviews! Thanks for checking it out!"
BEST LINE: "Why Jack? Of course he's a rebellious pirate, mysterious,

Comments

[niav]

Rei.

That's the name of my male French lop rabbit, who has impregnated his own sister twice.

[tatooine]

I shall never be able to watch Evangelion again without thinking of Rei clone-cest. Ow.

[rokeby_venus]

Captain Jack Sparrow being rendered speechless by a woman taking her clothes off... indeed. He's so obviously pure and virginal and inexperienced, I doubt he's ever seen a woman in a state of undress before. It's obvious from watching the film, isn't it? I mean, that bit when Elizabeth's prancing around on the island in her underwear - poor Jack is just so shocked and terrified that he has to get completely sozzled just to disguise it. When the flaunting hussy burned the rum, Jack realised that his safeguard was gone and ran off to the other end of the island so that she wouldn't see his discomfort...

Or something.

[mylla]

He clearly hated being in Tortuga, too. Why, I could see him blushing! All those cleavages offended his sense of propriety, I think.

Poor sweet Jack.

[ganeris]

I think it's a well-known pirate convention that when you time-travel to the future in the unlikely company of a friend while draped over a chest of styrofoam (since it didn't sink), you get revirginated.

Or it could be that he's horrified by the topography of her breasts, which is dubious at best.

[collie_wing]

dude I just got this horrific image of hikers marching across the sue's chest...and making camp. it's like Lord of the Rings only with them running all over her breasts, tiny as ants.

and that had nothing to do with anything and....yeah.

[mylla]

Palm, meet face.

...okay, palm meet face again.

Okay, you can stop meeting now!

Would the person who stole the personalities of Jack Sparrow and Will Turner please return them promptly, as everyone is missing them greatly? Yes, you in the back. You with the slim build, nice breasts and eyes that change colour - I'm speaking to you. Thank you.

[ganeris]

Wait... wait... must breathe...

*snickers uncontrollably*

In defense of the Sue I must ask you all, is there anything hotter than a guy who grabs your chest as a preliminary to kissing, tastes of stale alcohol, and passes out in your lap?

Ok, he didn't vomit on her, but you can't have everything.

And I think it's nice of Will to optimistically give us a choice of several Caribbeans.

He put his tongue into my mouth and rubbed my chest.
See, here it's perfectly clear to me that the Sue's expression of absolute vacancy duped Will into thinking she needed CPR. He's clearly not Red Cross certified, but he gets points for trying.

Here's an interesting question: if the Sue only wanted Jack, why did she drag poor Will into this mess? Ah well, maybe they can fight their way out. *passes out swords*

[ganeris]

I forgot to add (or perhaps it was the tears clouding my vision):

He unbuttoned my blouse, pulling it off to reveal my bikini top, on each breast, a small lump protruded as they brushed Jacks firm chest.

That description is mammogrammorific!

[kijou]

Hmm...sounds like the Sue's going to die from cancer soon enough!

[agnes_bean]

Mammogrammorific is so my faviorte word ever now.

[anonymous]

I was saying the same exact thing to myself... Then I got preoccupied trying to picture how attractive she must've been when she kept "gulping" her beer.

[wolfychan]

Actually, what bothered me was that she seemed to be enjoying the smell. I'm sorry, but sugar or no, drunk people do not smell nice. And if you're not drunk yourself, it's downright nasty.

I like how she lets him have a whole bottle, since he'll only get drunk if he has more than one. Either these are teeny tiny airplane bottles or Jack has a liver of steel.

[rainbowjehan]

I like how she lets him have a whole bottle, since he'll only get drunk if he has more than one. Either these are teeny tiny airplane bottles or Jack has a liver of steel.

Okay, now, I'm thinking of Grantaire from Les Miserables, but I seem to remember it taking two bottles to get him particularly drunk.

"Two bottles?"

"All of us are ingenious, but only you are ingenuous. Two bottles never hurt anyone."

Of course, Grantaire has apparently been drinking since he was approximately twelve.