Raven Shallowbane

[potcsues]

I keep with the absences don't I?

Well, there was a death in my family, which sort of doesn't put one in the mood to be funny. However, attempts to cheer up involved many viewings of Pirates of the Caribbean, which in turn reminded me how absurd Sues are, which eventually made me ready to come on back.
So, here I am. And here's a Sue.

TITLE: Of

Comments

[daniellafromage]

The disclaimer:

I Don’t Own POTC, But I DO Own Raven Shallowbane©

She copyrighted her Sue??

According to her profile, she hates slash. Which is fine, whatever, I don't care what she likes, except for the fact that she says it in the most immature way ever.

Oh, well. I feel entitled to hate her (and her copyrighted Sue), as another of her stories has the rather brilliant summary of:

NOTICE! I DON'T OWN TITANIC! THAT OTHER GUY DOES!

Indeed.

[princesskraehe]

Am I the only one who misread that as 'Raven Shallowbrain'? *snicker*

[princesskraehe]

Dear Suethor:

If you are going to slap accents on everything that breathes, please fscking learn how to write them. I'd suggest going back to Shaw, if you even know who he is, and reading some of his phonetic transcriptions of Cockney.

For example, ''ho' is not an acceptable abbreviated form of 'Who.' If you must, go with ''oo,' although it'd be better if you just left it alone.

Also, please explain what 'Com day shittin' what?' means. Maybe I'm just stupid, but it was complete Greek to me. Not even. I understand Greek.

Sincerely,
The sane population of the world

[daniellafromage]

I feel embarrassed to say that I understood that - it's Jack saying "condescending" phonetically. Sort of.

In my defence, I understand Greek as well, so please don't hurt me.

[salophile]

In the line before that, the Sue calls Jack a "condescending ass". He apparently mistakes it as "com day shittin' what". How anyone could possibly think this was witty is beyond me.

[genarti]

Yeah, because Jack's actually really dumb and doesn't comprehend big words. mmmnope.

Then again, maybe he just can't understand her bizarre made-up accent, which is entirely understandable.

[eralkfang]

Raven Shallowbane? What- what- oh, it hurts. But of course, it pales next to Alpha Jessie Iceflake.

Other than that, it's your run-of-the-mill Sue, with accents written so badly they induce eye bleedage.

[ganeris]

“’ho is it an’ what do ye want?” Jack said in a mocking tone to her, a grin slapped across his features.

Well, at least Jack is partially right. 'Ho is it' indeed. Here's the question I had about this line: is the Suethor not aware that 'wh' is pronounced as a single sound, and therefore should have been dropped together, or (this is my theory) does she say 'wuh-hoo', and thereby thought that dropping the 'wuh' she'd end up with 'hoo'? Or maybe she says 'woo', I dunno.

“’re ye crazy?! Those sick ‘ole men ‘ill beh dead b’fore the stars ‘ome out!”

Before the stars do what? I mean, if you were going to drop a letter, wouldn't you at least keep the key ones?

Jack uttered a snicker, unaware of Raven’s quick wits.

Something I have in common with Jack, then.

[starvingartist3]

With Her Ship Sunk And Her Neck In A Noose, A Young Pirate Lass Is About To Be Hung, When She Is Saved By A Slurred-Speaking Man! A MeJack Fic! Chap. 4 Up!"

Randomly capitalize much? And "Slurred-Speaking" -- is that a special dialect or accent of sorts? Where from?