(no subject)
I sat in the car for quite some time after my fight with Faith. I was filled with anger and regret. I shouldn’t have said that. But she kept on pushing me. Kept on throwing in my face what a horrible father I’d be. How did she know this? She only based it on what happened with Connor. As if I let them take the boy from me. I have a scar on my throat which proved otherwise. I nearly died to protect him. I’d die for my child as well to protect her.
Her. Faith said it was a her. A little girl. I smiled softly at that, wondering what it was going to be like. But then I recalled her threat. She wasn’t even going to allow me near or daughter. It wasn’t her daughter. She was mine as well. I was half responsible for the creation of this new life. And I’d do everything in my power to make sure I was going to be part of her life. Protect her, make sure she has an actual childhood. Which was going to be hard enough with a Slayer for a mother and a Watcher -ex annex demon hunter for a father.
As I drove away from her house back to my own flat, my mind wandered over to Gunn. Poor chap must feel so betrayed as well. She lied to him, let him believe in this wonderful world they had created around her lies. It’s better that it comes out now though. I wasn’t kidding when I told Faith it would be so much worse when it would have come out later. When there would’ve been established roles. It would have torn her world down and devastated her. And as much as I sympathized with Xander, at the moment my daughter came first. And if they really love each other, they’ll work this out.
It’s not as though I was going to stand in her way. This little girl was Faith child too. And a child needs both parents. Caring parents. And it wasn’t as though I thought Xander was going to treat my girl badly. Far from it, from what I’ve read he also knows now *not* to raise a child. But if they were going to get in the way of me being part of her life? I wasn’t afraid to lash out.
Still, I shouldn’t have said that.
Parking the car in front of my flat, I glanced at the brown bag in the passenger seat. I’d stopped by the liquor store on my way home. Didn’t think I had enough for two and I was going to get quite drunk. I only hoped Gunn would join me. I could do with some company. It was getting tiresome brood on your own. Alcohol just doesn’t seem to have the same effect when one is alone.
I grabbed the bag and made my way upstairs. Balancing it in my arms, I managed to get door open, kicking it closed again with my foot. I noticed Gunn was still on the sofa was I dropped the bag with bottles on the coffee table. I took one out, unscrewed the cap and stared at my old friend. Maybe, I thought as I took a healthy swig, I should take my little pity party to my bedroom. He does look awfully tired. He’ll probably need his sleep.
“Bugger.”
[Open for Gunn]