I don't wanna fall apart...

Aug 09, 2005 19:13



The gentle man caller in the blue suede shoes
He don't know what to do
he just wants to look good for you
So he rushes in to tell you what he did today
but he can't think of what to say
I think you'll listen anyway.
He wants to have a good time
just like everybody else
He doesn't want to fall apart
You watch him as he stutters over what to say
It's just a little game you play
it's no easier for you some days
You wish you could tell him it'll be ok
but you feel a little shy these days
cause everybody goes away
Oh...
You just wanna have a good time
Just like everybody else
You don't want to fall apart this time
I can't look into your eyes and see the mess we're in
darling if it's shit came out
Then I suppose that it's shit went in
Even though I couldn't say I've been the places that you've been
You know you made my heart real strong
even if you made my head real thin
I wanna have a good time
just like everybody
I don't wanna fall apart
-Counting Crows

It's been a rough day.
It's been a rough week.
It's been a rough month.
It's been a rough year.
And that's where I can stop.
I can't pretend it was rough before then.
I used to be able to not pretend that everything was alright.
Now I'm bad at pretending.
I guess life really is a balancing act sometimes. 
Sometimes I get so off kilter and feel so lost.
But, I'm simultaneously trying to be selfish, because I deserve/need to, and to not be selfish, because that is what feels more natural.  Except that I've gotten to the point where I can't even tell the two apart.  So what does that mean?  If anything.  If ever.  My constant source of happiness is gone.  I get bursts of my own every now and then and rays from other people's sometimes, but what is there to fill the rest of my time?  There's meaningless searches on the internet.  Singing along at the top of my lungs to the Counting Crows.  Trying to concentrate for just long enough to take care of what I need to in the real world.


Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand
She said she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis
She walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land
Just like she's walking on a wire in the circus
She parks her car outside of my house,
takes her clothes off,
Says she's close to understanding Jesus
She knows she's more that just a little misunderstood
She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous

Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
Round here she's slipping through my hands

Sleeping children got to run like the wind
Out of the lightning dream
Mama's little baby better get herself in
Out of the lightning

She says, "It's only in my head."
She says, "Shhh....I know it's only in my head."

But the girl on the car in the parking lot
says: "Man, you should try to take a shot
Can't you see my walls are crumbling."

Then she looks up at the building
and says she's thinking of jumping.
She says she's tired of life;
she must be tired of something.

Round here she's always on my mind
Round here I got lots of time
Round here we're never sent to bed early
Nobody makes us wait
Round here we stay up very very late

Why is the whole world so loud sometimes?

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