Reaching for the Moon: Chapter Eleven (End!)
Reaching for the Moon
(Final) Chapter Eleven:
A Song for You
I've acted out my life in stages, with ten thousand people watching; but we're alone now, and I'm singing this song for you.
Taira was impossible to find because he was almost never home. He pored over newspapers, scoured the internet, and made trips all over the city-to high-class districts and less-than-desirable areas alike. The final piece he needed to set his trap required the assistance of one of the people he befriended in the ghetto, who was more than happy to help when she heard his objective. When he had acquired it, he was ready for the pieces to fall into place.
And so, at present, he was sitting in a corner booth at a quaint little café, waiting for someone to come.
He saw her enter and talk briefly to the hostess, who motioned towards him and led her to his booth. At first, the woman hesitated to sit down, and he got a good look at her. She was fairly pretty. Her features were a bit harsh, but her black hair was luxurious, and she had good sense for how best to dress and minimize the flaws in her straight figure. She looked like an intelligent woman, though perhaps not always as skeptical as she should be. Satisfied that she seemed to be who he’d thought she’d be, Taira said, “Please, sit down.”
At last she did.
“Coffee? Or tea?” he continued, waving the waitress over.
“No, thank you, I’d rather get this over with,” the woman replied.
Taira dismissed the waitress with a smile and then let seriousness settle onto his features. He rested his hands together on the table. “I imagine I hinted well enough what this was about,” he said.
“Whom this is about, yes. What this is about is another matter.”
“He isn’t who you think he is.”
She shrugged. “It’s hard to really know someone if you’ve never lived with him. I can handle discovering a few little vices.”
Taira shook his head. “ ‘Little’ wouldn’t be the word I’d use to describe his vices.”
Her eyes narrowed on him. “And just what is your interest in this? What did he ever do to you?”
Taira took a sharp breath and set his jaw. The woman looked a little bit surprised at the harshness of the expression that passed onto his beautiful face. “That’s quite a long time in the past, and not worth resurrecting here. What someone was in the past is of little consequence if he’s changed. The problem is that he hasn’t.” Taira reached into his pocket and pulled out a smartphone, which he put on the counter between them. “The dates will betray him.”
She grabbed the phone, turned it over, and gasped. “This is his-did you steal his phone??” she demanded.
Taira shook his head. “No. I merely found he’d left it behind after an… acquaintance distracted him.” He smiled coldly. “And now I’m being a good citizen and returning it, unharmed, to its owner’s fiancée. Surely no man with nothing to hide would mind such an arrangement.”
She bit her lip as she looked at it. “I shouldn’t pry into it.”
“No,” said Taira flatly, “you should. You deserve to know. The man’s transparent-the passcode is his own birthday. Check his photos and his emails, and the dates on them. Then do what you will.” Taira left some money on the table for the waitress and stood up to leave.
“And what am I supposed to tell him when he asks how I got this?” the woman called after him.
“The truth,” Taira replied. “He lost it and someone returned it to you. If you talk to him tomorrow, he’ll understand.” And Taira left.
Jack received a text from an unknown number when he got out of work that afternoon. It read, “It’s Taira. Be at the park behind your office at 10 tonight. Find me and keep hidden.”
Jack had no idea what that was supposed to mean. He was glad to finally have Taira’s number, gladder to see he hadn’t dropped off the face of the earth, but what in the world was this about? No explanation or anything. It was pretty inconsiderate. What if he’d had plans? Jack stopped short and blushed a bit at himself. He didn’t. How long had it been since he’d had Friday night plans that didn’t involve Taira?
He tried to ask Taira what was going on, but Taira didn’t answer his calls or respond to his texts.
An agitated-looking man wearing a hat and a high collar entered the park behind the Beaufort Technologies building around ten P.M. The lights in the park were few and far between. He stopped beneath one by a bench and looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of someone hiding in the trees.
As if on cue, a figure stepped out of the shadows and approached him. The man screwed up his eyes, trying to identify the person who had called him there. The figure stopped several feet away, just barely in the edge of the light, and raised its head to look him straight in the eye.
The man’s eyes widened. “You,” he breathed. “You’re the last person I expected to see again.”
“I would be,” replied Taira.
The man laughed, though he couldn’t quite keep the nervous edge in his voice from betraying him. “So this is your blackmail? You come out of hiding after ten years hoping to squeeze money out of me with an accusation you can’t prove? Ha! Try it. I’ll just act all hurt and bewildered that someone would say such a horrible thing, say a few good lines, and it’ll all be right again.”
“You guessed wrong,” Taira said quietly. “I’m not blackmailing you for money. I’m blackmailing you for this meeting. To make things right, as you put it.”
The man blinked. “What, you…” He made a face. “You want to sleep with me?”
Taira spat. “Did I ever?”
“That is what this is about.”
“I guess you would be perplexed,” Taira said, his voice smooth as water’s surface. That voice made the other man shudder a bit. “It has been quite a long time since you raped me, hasn’t it, Adam Lynch?”
Adam made a face like someone had just punched him. “That’s not what happened.”
“Oh, wasn’t it? I sure as hell didn’t want it. Never so much as suggested that I did. Or do you suppose it doesn’t count because I’m just a filthy faggot?”
Adam’s face twisted with fear and rising anger. “You wanted it!”
“You did. And all you wanted was a new toy. You saw me looking at someone else and decided I’d be fun to break.”
“Yeah, I saw the way you looked at him!” Adam shouted, unwittingly letting his voice rise far too much in his agitation. “I saw you following him with your eyes everywhere he went! And it was disgusting! So what if I wanted to give it a try? It was high school! It was an experience! And you were already a dirty fag! I didn’t hurt anyone that way!”
“I’m not someone?” Taira demanded, raising his voice above the other man’s. Adam winced. Taira had never raised his voice like that in Adam’s memory. “Or how about the someone who died, hmm? Did you ever realize what happened? Or didn’t you care?” Taira forced the rage in his voice back down. “You saw my grandfather collapse when he walked in and saw me, shoved down, crying, bleeding, screaming at you to get off me. He came to help me, you know. But he wasn’t prepared to see what you were doing to me.” Taira took a step forward, and Adam instinctively took one back. “Did you know? He had a heart attack. Then my father came running in just as you were escaping out the window. He saw you leaving-not well enough to see who you were, only enough to figure out what had happened. I was on the floor, wrapped in the sheets, bloodied and crying and hysterical. Do you know what he did?” Taira smiled chillingly. “He threw a glass of whiskey at my head and beat me.”
Taira paused to watch Adam’s face. It looked more disgusted than remorseful. So Taira continued. “When my grandfather passed a few hours later, it was my fault. It was because I was a disgusting faggot. I killed him. It didn’t matter that I was raped. It didn’t matter what had really happened. That man now had the best excuse he could have asked for to beat me senseless. And then he kicked me out. I’ve had ten years now, Adam. Ten years of trying to make it on my own with absolutely nothing and no one-but that’s something you wouldn’t understand. Ten years of hell and purgatory, knowing that everything I suffered was your fault.” The cold smile returned. “Ten years is a long time to think of what to do to a man.”
Adam had begun to tremble. Taira could see him reaching into his pocket to dial 911, and the horror on his face when he realized his phone wasn’t there. “Don’t try anything,” Adam said slowly. “You’ll be brought up on charges.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Taira replied with a callous laugh. “Did you think I was going to knife you or something? How stupid.” Taira’s voice settled back into a silky smooth threatening. “That wouldn’t hurt nearly enough.”
Adam took another hesitant step back.
“No, I was thinking of trying something more poetic,” Taira continued, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I considered doing to you what you’d done to me, setting you up and letting your poor old grandmother see it-her heart has been weak for several years now, hasn’t it? But I couldn’t bring myself to do that to her; she doesn’t deserve it. It’s not her fault her grandson is a filthy rapist bastard.” Taira began to pace slightly. Adam’s eyes remained riveted in horror on him. “Then I thought of something better. You see, there’s more than one way to skin a cat, and that old proverb applies to revenge as well as anything else. I decided I should set you up for ruin. You, who sent me spiraling into the deepest, darkest pit of humanity; you, who still had it all, though he stole everything from me; you, who pretended to be a saint, while such an ugly sin went unpunished. I considered getting a boy to seduce you. I even considered seducing you myself, except that I would throw up if you ever touched me again. But then I realized something. No matter what it looked like on the outside-you were the one who was pathetic all along.”
Adam looked hesitant, unsure of whether or not that meant Taira was going to let him off.
“I never needed to set you up,” Taira said simply. “You did it to yourself. All you had to do was forget your phone.”
There was no doubt he was caught. Animal rage began to rise behind Adam’s eyes.
“Oh, don’t bother assaulting me for it. I don’t have it. Your fiancée does. She’s a nice girl, deserves better than you. She also doesn’t take shit from anybody. I’ll bet now that she’s seen those photos and read those emails, she’ll agree with me.” Taira shook his head. “You’re really shameless. Even I would be embarrassed to say some of the stuff you actually put in writing.”
Adam turned rigid. Then he began, “How dare you-”
“When your engagement falls apart,” Taira interrupted, raising his voice over Adam’s, “don’t blame me. You were never a victim. All of this, you did to yourself.” He turned to walk away.
For a split second, Adam was frozen; then he cried out in bestial rage and charged after Taira.
He never reached him. He was stopped by Jack’s fist in his stomach. “Get out,” Jack spat in a low hiss. “Before I rip you to pieces myself.”
Adam took one glance at Jack, particularly at his size and his muscles, and ran away cursing and threatening police action.
Jack’s fists clenched. “If I’d known back then what he did, that bastard’s face would be permanently disfigured right now-”
Taira came up behind him and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder. “Forget about him,” he said softly. “It’s what I’m finally doing.”
Jack turned around. Taira looked like he’d used up the last of his strength confronting that man. He was shaking, and he couldn’t look Jack in the eye. Jack opened his mouth to say something to him, but Taira interrupted him.
“Now you know everything,” Taira said, voice wavering. “You know what I’ve been hiding for ten years. You know what I’ve never told another living soul. And, do you…” Taira gripped one trembling hand in another and bit his quivering lip. “Do you… hate me now?”
Jack’s response was to pull Taira close into his arms.
The moment he did, Taira clutched onto his back and started to cry. “Feels like crying is all I’ve been doing lately,” he managed to say, self-deprecatingly.
Jack just squeezed him tighter.
Taira gasped for air between sobs. “And I can’t stop. I keep feeling guilty about everything-all this stupid, ridiculous guilt, for my own life, for my grandfather’s death, even for my old man’s. I know it’s stupid to think this way. But I can’t stop wondering if maybe everything would’ve been different if only I’d been different-if I could’ve had a real father, a real family, a real life. What if it all is because I’m just not good enough?”
Jack winced at Taira’s words, but held his voice steady and soothing. “Every time you think that,” he replied simply, “trust me instead. Because you’re worth a hell of a lot more than you realize in my eyes.”
Taira took a deep, ragged breath, and left his eyes buried in Jack’s chest.
Jack caressed Taira’s silky hair and breathed, “I feel like I’ve finally seen to the far side of the moon.”
Jack drove back to his apartment with Taira sitting silently next to him. When Taira saw where they were and raised an eyebrow, Jack’s only reply was to take his hand and bring him upstairs.
He didn’t bother turning on the lights when he got inside. As soon as the door shut, he kicked off his shoes and kissed Taira. Taira, far from resisting, wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck and pulled their bodies closer.
Coats and shoes were all dropped across the living room behind them, and Jack pushed Taira down onto his bed. He kissed Taira’s cheek and, gazing down at him, finally said something. It was the last thing Taira had let himself expect to hear. “Taira,” he whispered, “I love you.”
Taira’s eyes widened, and he turned his face away, flushed and uncomfortable. “Be careful,” Taira warned. “At a time like this, there’s only one way I could really take that.”
Jack rolled his eyes and turned the other man’s face back towards his. “Geez, you can be so difficult,” he teased. “At a time like this, how else could I possibly want you to take it?”
Taira bit his lip and immediately threw his arms over his face to hide his eyes. “And after I tried so hard to get over you,” he murmured.
“Do you wish I didn’t?”
“All of a sudden you can say so easily what I never could.”
Jack nudged gently at Taira’s arms to move them from his face, but they held fast.
“Fifteen years,” said Taira suddenly. “That’s how long I’ve been in love with you.”
“You’ve done one hell of a good job hiding it,” Jack replied. “With how much you pushed me away, there were times I wondered if you really did just hate me.”
“There were always three things,” continued Taira. “Three things that tied me to the past, that kept me from ever moving forward. My father, that bastard rapist, and you.” He paused; he sensed rather than saw Jack’s surprise. “I always knew I’d have to confront them, bury them, leave them behind somehow,” he resumed. “Otherwise, I’d never be able to go forward. I’d be trapped in that nightmare forever. I told myself I had to let it all go-even you.”
“Then go ahead and let go,” said Jack.
Taira stiffened in alarm and nervously parted his arms a crack so he could see the other man’s expression. But Jack’s eyes were warm.
Gently, Jack brushed Taira’s arms apart. “Let go of the me who couldn’t do anything for you ten years ago, and hold onto the me who loves you now.”
Taira looked up into the face of his first love, now grown, looking down at him with unmistakable love in his eyes. It was almost too much for him; so he shut his own eyelids and captured his lover’s mouth in a passionate kiss.
Jack reached down gingerly and slipped his fingers under Taira’s shirt, gently feeling his skin. Taira’s face flushed with anticipation as Jack’s fingers reached his chest. “You’re being too mousey,” Taira scolded, reaching for Jack’s shirt and ripping it off.
“Hey, let me savor this,” Jack replied, smiling wryly at the other man’s enthusiasm. “This is a first, after all.”
Taira laughed. “First? And the other God knows how many times were…?”
“Just sex,” Jack finished. “This is the first time we’re doing this as lovers.”
Pink invaded Taira’s cheeks at the word ‘lover.’ He opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped by Jack’s lips on his. He didn’t much mind being cut off.
Jack touched everywhere as though he’d never touched him before. Taira, unable to endure much more teasing, put his arms around his lover’s muscular back and pulled him close, rubbing his hips against Jack’s, trying to enflame him. It worked. In seconds, Jack pulled his lips away from Taira’s and ran them trailing down Taira’s chest and stomach. He paused at the other man’s hips, and then ran his tongue along Taira’s member. Taira’s hands flew to his mouth to suppress a moan.
“Not fair,” Jack breathed. “Let me hear you.” He took Taira into his mouth completely, and Taira gave up on being quiet. A breathless moan escaped his lips.
Jack’s fingers reached toward Taira’s entrance, and the moan turned into a gasp as they penetrated. It didn’t take much to be too much. “That’s enough,” Taira managed to breathe. “I can’t wait any longer.”
Jack obliged him. He pulled his fingers out and his mouth off, and nudged his own swelled member at Taira’s entrance. Taira reached his arms out towards Jack, trying to grab hold of him and pull him in. With one swift, smooth motion, Jack pushed inside.
“Aaah!” Taira cried. His lover felt bigger than usual tonight. He liked it.
Jack had leaned in, so Taira pulled his face close and locked his lips into another deep kiss. He wrapped his legs around the other man’s back and threw his whole body into the rhythm of his thrusts. He felt more sensitive than ever before; every little touch of Jack’s skin against his sent his brain spiraling anew into dizzying pleasure.
The sun was peeking over the horizon by the time they fell asleep.
For the middle of May, it seemed an awful lot hotter than Jack would have expected. Then again, that might have been because of the furniture and boxes he’d been moving. “We should’ve done this in February,” he commented, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
Taira, who was coming up the stairs and into the apartment with the last box, just shrugged. “It was blizzarding in February.”
“Would’ve been a lot more pleasant for carrying all this stuff up stairs, I say.”
Taira very deliberately dropped what he was holding on Jack’s foot. “One word: frostbite.”
“Ow, okay, fine, I get it.”
Taira glanced around. He didn’t have that much stuff to begin with. “If this much bothers you so much, maybe I should have stayed in my old apartment,” he began.
Jack came up behind Taira and wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders by way of apology. “I didn’t mean that.”
“I know,” replied Taira quietly, before brushing Jack’s arms off him and getting to work unpacking.
“So cold,” Jack teased.
Taira ignored him.
Jack was used to Taira’s behaviour by now, finally. So it didn’t bother him at all. He could tell when Taira was actually upset, and he wasn’t. Granted, it wasn’t that he never was. Even after all they’d gone through together, Taira could only change so much. He still had his moments of guilt and anger and insecurity. Jack had just finally figured out that the best way to get Taira out of a funk was to do what he did best: be nosey and stubborn. Maybe Taira couldn’t lose that sharp tongue he’d grown after high school, but Jack liked him that way.
Taira opened one box, saw it was the box of assorted documents, and pushed it aside. Jack could see the edge of an envelope just visible from beneath the papers and smiled to himself. The contents of that envelope had been very satisfying. A couple of weeks after Taira had confronted Adam, he’d received a letter from Genevieve Beaufort. It contained a number of newspaper clippings reporting the disturbing infidelity and subsequent breaking off of ties between both Genevieve and Adam and Beaufort Technologies and Eventide Holdings. Another clipping reported how the president of Eventide Holdings had cast off his eldest son and transferred his ambitions to the next one. It was cruelly satisfying to see all the privileges Adam had been accustomed to blowing up in his face; even Jack felt a little too exultant over it. He was proud of Taira for reading them over blank-faced, putting them back in the envelope, and saying nothing more about it. The actual letter from Genevieve only said one thing: “Thank you.” That was the only piece of the delivery that had made Taira smile.
Jack was watching Taira and just starting to debate whether he should help, heckle, or do something else when his phone buzzed at him. He opened it up and found a text from Syd. He was pretty sure Syd was laughing at him. The text just said, “I told you so.” Of course Syd would find out what day Taira was moving in just to rub it in Jack’s face that he’d figured out what was between them before Jack himself had. He would. And he sort of deserved it, too, considering how much stupidity he’d had to put up with from Jack (who still hadn’t quite forgiven him for kicking him out after he’d brought food, no matter how much of a drunken ass he was being). Jack was about to send back a probably too-stinging reply involving Syd’s ex-fiancée and subsequent chronic singleness when his phone started ringing. He half expected to see Syd’s picture on the screen. Instead, he saw his sister’s. He answered with, “Tell me you’re not on your way over here right now.”
“I swear to God-I show up unannounced once and you never let it go. No, that’s not what I’m calling about.”
“Good.”
“You’re such an ass, Jack.”
Jack just grinned.
“You’re smiling, aren’t you.”
“Whatever makes you think that?”
“He’s grinning like the Cheshire cat!” Taira yelled towards Jack’s receiver.
“I knew it!” Melanie exclaimed.
“What the-you can hear her, Taira?” Jack demanded.
“Your phone’s loud,” he replied, smiling mischievously.
“That’s it, I’m leaving the room. I don’t need somebody snitching on me. Okay, so what’s this about?” Jack asked as soon as he shut his bedroom door.
“Well, I wanted to see if Taira’s made you sleep on the couch yet, for one thing.”
“Mel, he’s only just moving in today.”
“Oh. I guess I’ll have to call back in a week.”
“Mel…”
“And I wanted to let you know that I gave Sven your address. So the next time somebody shows up at your doorstep unexpectedly, it might not be your sibling.”
“Or it might be both,” Jack shot back.
He could practically hear Melanie fidgeting happily over the phone. “Yes, well, it’s not bad to have one relationship between these sets of siblings that our parents can be told about.”
Jack yawned. “Try not to scare this one off, would you? It might make things awkward for me, seeing as we’re dating brothers.”
“Ugh, of all the disgusting things I never wanted to hear from my older brother. Man, you are so lucky it’s Taira. I can’t imagine how someone as sweet and gentle as him could stand you.”
“I think your mental image of him is a bit outdated.”
“Hook up with some other man and I’ll puke on your face and rip your intestines out.”
“Graphic.”
“I will.”
“You won’t need to, really.”
“I’d better not. Well, I’ll let you go. You should be helping Taira get settled. I’ll call back later to see if he’s relegated you to the couch yet.”
“He’s not going to-”
“Hmm, well, that depends entirely on you, doesn’t it,” came Taira’s voice from behind him. Jack whipped around to see Taira entering the bedroom with one of his boxes. Taira smiled wryly at Jack’s surprised face. “What, I live here too now, you know.”
“Give ’im hell, Taira!” Melanie shouted into the phone; then, she uttered a simple “Later!” and hung up.
“Taira…” Jack began, warningly.
“It’s not so bad to be friendly with the could-very-well-end-up-sister-in-law, is it?”
Jack put one elbow on Taira’s shoulder and leaned in with a leering grin. “You know we’d have to move to another state if you want to marry me.”
Taira brushed his arm away. “Don’t be silly. I meant if Sven marries your sister.”
“Ouch.”
Taira started getting into drawers and putting things away.
Jack came up from behind, grabbed him around the waist, and pulled him away from his work, falling backwards onto the bed with him. “Don’t be like that,” he coaxed.
Taira turned over on top of him and plopped his chin down on Jack’s chest. “Well, I could possibly be induced to marry you at some point, too… except that it’s probably better for both of us if we don’t try to become legal family. At least, if we’d prefer either one of us have any other family left.”
“Hey, between the two of us, there’s always a chance one of us won’t get disowned for dating a guy.”
“Hmm, no, not likely,” Taira teased, and started to get back up.
Jack held onto his waist and kept him down. He planted a kiss on Taira’s lips. “You don’t mind us living like this, do you?”
“If you have to ask, I take it that means you haven’t noticed that I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life right now?”
“No, I noticed. I was just trying to make you say it.”
“Egomaniac.”
“You love it.”
“I love you; there’s a difference. Now come on and let me go, I have to unpack.”
Jack flipped Taira over on the bed and started kissing his neck. “Later.”
“No, now.” He sighed. “You’re unbelievable. So transparent.”
Jack laughed as Taira picked himself up and went back to his boxes. “What, I’m not the moon anymore?”
“Nope,” Taira replied. “If you were the moon, I couldn’t touch you, and you couldn’t hear me.”
“And just what is it you want me to hear?” Jack asked, sitting cross-legged on the bed and watching happily as his lover knelt on the floor and took over his dresser drawers.
Taira smiled back and opened his mouth to sing an old love song for the man he’d finally caught.
Okay, so I'm officially pissed with the supposed list of Bing Crosby songs I was referencing, because this particular song this chapter is named for was evidently not written until 1969, and while it's jazz, it's 1969, and Bing Crosby never sang it. However, Michael Bublé did sing a lovely version of it, for those of you who like to listen to the song as you read. After I'd seen the lyrics to this song, I just couldn't bear to try and find another song to name the final chapter after. This song's lyrics are just perfect. So, you'll have to deal with only having a Michael Bublé version XD
That said: Reaching for the Moon is finally finished!
Took me long enough, right? But I'm finally done being a slowass and making you guys wait (though seriously I think donhisiewen might be the only person still reading these? XD ...Everybody else dropped off the face of the earth). I inserted a brief plug for the soon-to-be-started sequel, Call Me Irresponsible, which will carry the musical theme (despite not being appropriate without Taira as one of the two main characters XD) but star Jack's friend Syd. It will also be considerably lighter-hearted, more along the lines of The Bell Tower of St. Barnabas, though the main character will be 29. (It'll also feature my first couple age gap, since it'll be the first time the characters weren't high school classmates XD I go from no age gap to an 11-year age gap? Really? *facepalm*)
I tried to insert something about Jack and Melanie's older brother Brett, since it might easily be forgotten that he even exists since he only got a brief mention in the prologue (hell, *I* forgot at one point), but the mention didn't fit anywhere, so I still run the risk of everybody thinking Jack's the oldest. *shrug*
Anyway, with yet another awkward attempt at a sex scene, another story is finished. See you all in Call Me Irresponsible!
-ALiCe
(Final) Chapter Eleven:
A Song for You
I've acted out my life in stages, with ten thousand people watching; but we're alone now, and I'm singing this song for you.
Taira was impossible to find because he was almost never home. He pored over newspapers, scoured the internet, and made trips all over the city-to high-class districts and less-than-desirable areas alike. The final piece he needed to set his trap required the assistance of one of the people he befriended in the ghetto, who was more than happy to help when she heard his objective. When he had acquired it, he was ready for the pieces to fall into place.
And so, at present, he was sitting in a corner booth at a quaint little café, waiting for someone to come.
He saw her enter and talk briefly to the hostess, who motioned towards him and led her to his booth. At first, the woman hesitated to sit down, and he got a good look at her. She was fairly pretty. Her features were a bit harsh, but her black hair was luxurious, and she had good sense for how best to dress and minimize the flaws in her straight figure. She looked like an intelligent woman, though perhaps not always as skeptical as she should be. Satisfied that she seemed to be who he’d thought she’d be, Taira said, “Please, sit down.”
At last she did.
“Coffee? Or tea?” he continued, waving the waitress over.
“No, thank you, I’d rather get this over with,” the woman replied.
Taira dismissed the waitress with a smile and then let seriousness settle onto his features. He rested his hands together on the table. “I imagine I hinted well enough what this was about,” he said.
“Whom this is about, yes. What this is about is another matter.”
“He isn’t who you think he is.”
She shrugged. “It’s hard to really know someone if you’ve never lived with him. I can handle discovering a few little vices.”
Taira shook his head. “ ‘Little’ wouldn’t be the word I’d use to describe his vices.”
Her eyes narrowed on him. “And just what is your interest in this? What did he ever do to you?”
Taira took a sharp breath and set his jaw. The woman looked a little bit surprised at the harshness of the expression that passed onto his beautiful face. “That’s quite a long time in the past, and not worth resurrecting here. What someone was in the past is of little consequence if he’s changed. The problem is that he hasn’t.” Taira reached into his pocket and pulled out a smartphone, which he put on the counter between them. “The dates will betray him.”
She grabbed the phone, turned it over, and gasped. “This is his-did you steal his phone??” she demanded.
Taira shook his head. “No. I merely found he’d left it behind after an… acquaintance distracted him.” He smiled coldly. “And now I’m being a good citizen and returning it, unharmed, to its owner’s fiancée. Surely no man with nothing to hide would mind such an arrangement.”
She bit her lip as she looked at it. “I shouldn’t pry into it.”
“No,” said Taira flatly, “you should. You deserve to know. The man’s transparent-the passcode is his own birthday. Check his photos and his emails, and the dates on them. Then do what you will.” Taira left some money on the table for the waitress and stood up to leave.
“And what am I supposed to tell him when he asks how I got this?” the woman called after him.
“The truth,” Taira replied. “He lost it and someone returned it to you. If you talk to him tomorrow, he’ll understand.” And Taira left.
Jack received a text from an unknown number when he got out of work that afternoon. It read, “It’s Taira. Be at the park behind your office at 10 tonight. Find me and keep hidden.”
Jack had no idea what that was supposed to mean. He was glad to finally have Taira’s number, gladder to see he hadn’t dropped off the face of the earth, but what in the world was this about? No explanation or anything. It was pretty inconsiderate. What if he’d had plans? Jack stopped short and blushed a bit at himself. He didn’t. How long had it been since he’d had Friday night plans that didn’t involve Taira?
He tried to ask Taira what was going on, but Taira didn’t answer his calls or respond to his texts.
An agitated-looking man wearing a hat and a high collar entered the park behind the Beaufort Technologies building around ten P.M. The lights in the park were few and far between. He stopped beneath one by a bench and looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of someone hiding in the trees.
As if on cue, a figure stepped out of the shadows and approached him. The man screwed up his eyes, trying to identify the person who had called him there. The figure stopped several feet away, just barely in the edge of the light, and raised its head to look him straight in the eye.
The man’s eyes widened. “You,” he breathed. “You’re the last person I expected to see again.”
“I would be,” replied Taira.
The man laughed, though he couldn’t quite keep the nervous edge in his voice from betraying him. “So this is your blackmail? You come out of hiding after ten years hoping to squeeze money out of me with an accusation you can’t prove? Ha! Try it. I’ll just act all hurt and bewildered that someone would say such a horrible thing, say a few good lines, and it’ll all be right again.”
“You guessed wrong,” Taira said quietly. “I’m not blackmailing you for money. I’m blackmailing you for this meeting. To make things right, as you put it.”
The man blinked. “What, you…” He made a face. “You want to sleep with me?”
Taira spat. “Did I ever?”
“That is what this is about.”
“I guess you would be perplexed,” Taira said, his voice smooth as water’s surface. That voice made the other man shudder a bit. “It has been quite a long time since you raped me, hasn’t it, Adam Lynch?”
Adam made a face like someone had just punched him. “That’s not what happened.”
“Oh, wasn’t it? I sure as hell didn’t want it. Never so much as suggested that I did. Or do you suppose it doesn’t count because I’m just a filthy faggot?”
Adam’s face twisted with fear and rising anger. “You wanted it!”
“You did. And all you wanted was a new toy. You saw me looking at someone else and decided I’d be fun to break.”
“Yeah, I saw the way you looked at him!” Adam shouted, unwittingly letting his voice rise far too much in his agitation. “I saw you following him with your eyes everywhere he went! And it was disgusting! So what if I wanted to give it a try? It was high school! It was an experience! And you were already a dirty fag! I didn’t hurt anyone that way!”
“I’m not someone?” Taira demanded, raising his voice above the other man’s. Adam winced. Taira had never raised his voice like that in Adam’s memory. “Or how about the someone who died, hmm? Did you ever realize what happened? Or didn’t you care?” Taira forced the rage in his voice back down. “You saw my grandfather collapse when he walked in and saw me, shoved down, crying, bleeding, screaming at you to get off me. He came to help me, you know. But he wasn’t prepared to see what you were doing to me.” Taira took a step forward, and Adam instinctively took one back. “Did you know? He had a heart attack. Then my father came running in just as you were escaping out the window. He saw you leaving-not well enough to see who you were, only enough to figure out what had happened. I was on the floor, wrapped in the sheets, bloodied and crying and hysterical. Do you know what he did?” Taira smiled chillingly. “He threw a glass of whiskey at my head and beat me.”
Taira paused to watch Adam’s face. It looked more disgusted than remorseful. So Taira continued. “When my grandfather passed a few hours later, it was my fault. It was because I was a disgusting faggot. I killed him. It didn’t matter that I was raped. It didn’t matter what had really happened. That man now had the best excuse he could have asked for to beat me senseless. And then he kicked me out. I’ve had ten years now, Adam. Ten years of trying to make it on my own with absolutely nothing and no one-but that’s something you wouldn’t understand. Ten years of hell and purgatory, knowing that everything I suffered was your fault.” The cold smile returned. “Ten years is a long time to think of what to do to a man.”
Adam had begun to tremble. Taira could see him reaching into his pocket to dial 911, and the horror on his face when he realized his phone wasn’t there. “Don’t try anything,” Adam said slowly. “You’ll be brought up on charges.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Taira replied with a callous laugh. “Did you think I was going to knife you or something? How stupid.” Taira’s voice settled back into a silky smooth threatening. “That wouldn’t hurt nearly enough.”
Adam took another hesitant step back.
“No, I was thinking of trying something more poetic,” Taira continued, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I considered doing to you what you’d done to me, setting you up and letting your poor old grandmother see it-her heart has been weak for several years now, hasn’t it? But I couldn’t bring myself to do that to her; she doesn’t deserve it. It’s not her fault her grandson is a filthy rapist bastard.” Taira began to pace slightly. Adam’s eyes remained riveted in horror on him. “Then I thought of something better. You see, there’s more than one way to skin a cat, and that old proverb applies to revenge as well as anything else. I decided I should set you up for ruin. You, who sent me spiraling into the deepest, darkest pit of humanity; you, who still had it all, though he stole everything from me; you, who pretended to be a saint, while such an ugly sin went unpunished. I considered getting a boy to seduce you. I even considered seducing you myself, except that I would throw up if you ever touched me again. But then I realized something. No matter what it looked like on the outside-you were the one who was pathetic all along.”
Adam looked hesitant, unsure of whether or not that meant Taira was going to let him off.
“I never needed to set you up,” Taira said simply. “You did it to yourself. All you had to do was forget your phone.”
There was no doubt he was caught. Animal rage began to rise behind Adam’s eyes.
“Oh, don’t bother assaulting me for it. I don’t have it. Your fiancée does. She’s a nice girl, deserves better than you. She also doesn’t take shit from anybody. I’ll bet now that she’s seen those photos and read those emails, she’ll agree with me.” Taira shook his head. “You’re really shameless. Even I would be embarrassed to say some of the stuff you actually put in writing.”
Adam turned rigid. Then he began, “How dare you-”
“When your engagement falls apart,” Taira interrupted, raising his voice over Adam’s, “don’t blame me. You were never a victim. All of this, you did to yourself.” He turned to walk away.
For a split second, Adam was frozen; then he cried out in bestial rage and charged after Taira.
He never reached him. He was stopped by Jack’s fist in his stomach. “Get out,” Jack spat in a low hiss. “Before I rip you to pieces myself.”
Adam took one glance at Jack, particularly at his size and his muscles, and ran away cursing and threatening police action.
Jack’s fists clenched. “If I’d known back then what he did, that bastard’s face would be permanently disfigured right now-”
Taira came up behind him and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder. “Forget about him,” he said softly. “It’s what I’m finally doing.”
Jack turned around. Taira looked like he’d used up the last of his strength confronting that man. He was shaking, and he couldn’t look Jack in the eye. Jack opened his mouth to say something to him, but Taira interrupted him.
“Now you know everything,” Taira said, voice wavering. “You know what I’ve been hiding for ten years. You know what I’ve never told another living soul. And, do you…” Taira gripped one trembling hand in another and bit his quivering lip. “Do you… hate me now?”
Jack’s response was to pull Taira close into his arms.
The moment he did, Taira clutched onto his back and started to cry. “Feels like crying is all I’ve been doing lately,” he managed to say, self-deprecatingly.
Jack just squeezed him tighter.
Taira gasped for air between sobs. “And I can’t stop. I keep feeling guilty about everything-all this stupid, ridiculous guilt, for my own life, for my grandfather’s death, even for my old man’s. I know it’s stupid to think this way. But I can’t stop wondering if maybe everything would’ve been different if only I’d been different-if I could’ve had a real father, a real family, a real life. What if it all is because I’m just not good enough?”
Jack winced at Taira’s words, but held his voice steady and soothing. “Every time you think that,” he replied simply, “trust me instead. Because you’re worth a hell of a lot more than you realize in my eyes.”
Taira took a deep, ragged breath, and left his eyes buried in Jack’s chest.
Jack caressed Taira’s silky hair and breathed, “I feel like I’ve finally seen to the far side of the moon.”
Jack drove back to his apartment with Taira sitting silently next to him. When Taira saw where they were and raised an eyebrow, Jack’s only reply was to take his hand and bring him upstairs.
He didn’t bother turning on the lights when he got inside. As soon as the door shut, he kicked off his shoes and kissed Taira. Taira, far from resisting, wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck and pulled their bodies closer.
Coats and shoes were all dropped across the living room behind them, and Jack pushed Taira down onto his bed. He kissed Taira’s cheek and, gazing down at him, finally said something. It was the last thing Taira had let himself expect to hear. “Taira,” he whispered, “I love you.”
Taira’s eyes widened, and he turned his face away, flushed and uncomfortable. “Be careful,” Taira warned. “At a time like this, there’s only one way I could really take that.”
Jack rolled his eyes and turned the other man’s face back towards his. “Geez, you can be so difficult,” he teased. “At a time like this, how else could I possibly want you to take it?”
Taira bit his lip and immediately threw his arms over his face to hide his eyes. “And after I tried so hard to get over you,” he murmured.
“Do you wish I didn’t?”
“All of a sudden you can say so easily what I never could.”
Jack nudged gently at Taira’s arms to move them from his face, but they held fast.
“Fifteen years,” said Taira suddenly. “That’s how long I’ve been in love with you.”
“You’ve done one hell of a good job hiding it,” Jack replied. “With how much you pushed me away, there were times I wondered if you really did just hate me.”
“There were always three things,” continued Taira. “Three things that tied me to the past, that kept me from ever moving forward. My father, that bastard rapist, and you.” He paused; he sensed rather than saw Jack’s surprise. “I always knew I’d have to confront them, bury them, leave them behind somehow,” he resumed. “Otherwise, I’d never be able to go forward. I’d be trapped in that nightmare forever. I told myself I had to let it all go-even you.”
“Then go ahead and let go,” said Jack.
Taira stiffened in alarm and nervously parted his arms a crack so he could see the other man’s expression. But Jack’s eyes were warm.
Gently, Jack brushed Taira’s arms apart. “Let go of the me who couldn’t do anything for you ten years ago, and hold onto the me who loves you now.”
Taira looked up into the face of his first love, now grown, looking down at him with unmistakable love in his eyes. It was almost too much for him; so he shut his own eyelids and captured his lover’s mouth in a passionate kiss.
Jack reached down gingerly and slipped his fingers under Taira’s shirt, gently feeling his skin. Taira’s face flushed with anticipation as Jack’s fingers reached his chest. “You’re being too mousey,” Taira scolded, reaching for Jack’s shirt and ripping it off.
“Hey, let me savor this,” Jack replied, smiling wryly at the other man’s enthusiasm. “This is a first, after all.”
Taira laughed. “First? And the other God knows how many times were…?”
“Just sex,” Jack finished. “This is the first time we’re doing this as lovers.”
Pink invaded Taira’s cheeks at the word ‘lover.’ He opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped by Jack’s lips on his. He didn’t much mind being cut off.
Jack touched everywhere as though he’d never touched him before. Taira, unable to endure much more teasing, put his arms around his lover’s muscular back and pulled him close, rubbing his hips against Jack’s, trying to enflame him. It worked. In seconds, Jack pulled his lips away from Taira’s and ran them trailing down Taira’s chest and stomach. He paused at the other man’s hips, and then ran his tongue along Taira’s member. Taira’s hands flew to his mouth to suppress a moan.
“Not fair,” Jack breathed. “Let me hear you.” He took Taira into his mouth completely, and Taira gave up on being quiet. A breathless moan escaped his lips.
Jack’s fingers reached toward Taira’s entrance, and the moan turned into a gasp as they penetrated. It didn’t take much to be too much. “That’s enough,” Taira managed to breathe. “I can’t wait any longer.”
Jack obliged him. He pulled his fingers out and his mouth off, and nudged his own swelled member at Taira’s entrance. Taira reached his arms out towards Jack, trying to grab hold of him and pull him in. With one swift, smooth motion, Jack pushed inside.
“Aaah!” Taira cried. His lover felt bigger than usual tonight. He liked it.
Jack had leaned in, so Taira pulled his face close and locked his lips into another deep kiss. He wrapped his legs around the other man’s back and threw his whole body into the rhythm of his thrusts. He felt more sensitive than ever before; every little touch of Jack’s skin against his sent his brain spiraling anew into dizzying pleasure.
The sun was peeking over the horizon by the time they fell asleep.
For the middle of May, it seemed an awful lot hotter than Jack would have expected. Then again, that might have been because of the furniture and boxes he’d been moving. “We should’ve done this in February,” he commented, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
Taira, who was coming up the stairs and into the apartment with the last box, just shrugged. “It was blizzarding in February.”
“Would’ve been a lot more pleasant for carrying all this stuff up stairs, I say.”
Taira very deliberately dropped what he was holding on Jack’s foot. “One word: frostbite.”
“Ow, okay, fine, I get it.”
Taira glanced around. He didn’t have that much stuff to begin with. “If this much bothers you so much, maybe I should have stayed in my old apartment,” he began.
Jack came up behind Taira and wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders by way of apology. “I didn’t mean that.”
“I know,” replied Taira quietly, before brushing Jack’s arms off him and getting to work unpacking.
“So cold,” Jack teased.
Taira ignored him.
Jack was used to Taira’s behaviour by now, finally. So it didn’t bother him at all. He could tell when Taira was actually upset, and he wasn’t. Granted, it wasn’t that he never was. Even after all they’d gone through together, Taira could only change so much. He still had his moments of guilt and anger and insecurity. Jack had just finally figured out that the best way to get Taira out of a funk was to do what he did best: be nosey and stubborn. Maybe Taira couldn’t lose that sharp tongue he’d grown after high school, but Jack liked him that way.
Taira opened one box, saw it was the box of assorted documents, and pushed it aside. Jack could see the edge of an envelope just visible from beneath the papers and smiled to himself. The contents of that envelope had been very satisfying. A couple of weeks after Taira had confronted Adam, he’d received a letter from Genevieve Beaufort. It contained a number of newspaper clippings reporting the disturbing infidelity and subsequent breaking off of ties between both Genevieve and Adam and Beaufort Technologies and Eventide Holdings. Another clipping reported how the president of Eventide Holdings had cast off his eldest son and transferred his ambitions to the next one. It was cruelly satisfying to see all the privileges Adam had been accustomed to blowing up in his face; even Jack felt a little too exultant over it. He was proud of Taira for reading them over blank-faced, putting them back in the envelope, and saying nothing more about it. The actual letter from Genevieve only said one thing: “Thank you.” That was the only piece of the delivery that had made Taira smile.
Jack was watching Taira and just starting to debate whether he should help, heckle, or do something else when his phone buzzed at him. He opened it up and found a text from Syd. He was pretty sure Syd was laughing at him. The text just said, “I told you so.” Of course Syd would find out what day Taira was moving in just to rub it in Jack’s face that he’d figured out what was between them before Jack himself had. He would. And he sort of deserved it, too, considering how much stupidity he’d had to put up with from Jack (who still hadn’t quite forgiven him for kicking him out after he’d brought food, no matter how much of a drunken ass he was being). Jack was about to send back a probably too-stinging reply involving Syd’s ex-fiancée and subsequent chronic singleness when his phone started ringing. He half expected to see Syd’s picture on the screen. Instead, he saw his sister’s. He answered with, “Tell me you’re not on your way over here right now.”
“I swear to God-I show up unannounced once and you never let it go. No, that’s not what I’m calling about.”
“Good.”
“You’re such an ass, Jack.”
Jack just grinned.
“You’re smiling, aren’t you.”
“Whatever makes you think that?”
“He’s grinning like the Cheshire cat!” Taira yelled towards Jack’s receiver.
“I knew it!” Melanie exclaimed.
“What the-you can hear her, Taira?” Jack demanded.
“Your phone’s loud,” he replied, smiling mischievously.
“That’s it, I’m leaving the room. I don’t need somebody snitching on me. Okay, so what’s this about?” Jack asked as soon as he shut his bedroom door.
“Well, I wanted to see if Taira’s made you sleep on the couch yet, for one thing.”
“Mel, he’s only just moving in today.”
“Oh. I guess I’ll have to call back in a week.”
“Mel…”
“And I wanted to let you know that I gave Sven your address. So the next time somebody shows up at your doorstep unexpectedly, it might not be your sibling.”
“Or it might be both,” Jack shot back.
He could practically hear Melanie fidgeting happily over the phone. “Yes, well, it’s not bad to have one relationship between these sets of siblings that our parents can be told about.”
Jack yawned. “Try not to scare this one off, would you? It might make things awkward for me, seeing as we’re dating brothers.”
“Ugh, of all the disgusting things I never wanted to hear from my older brother. Man, you are so lucky it’s Taira. I can’t imagine how someone as sweet and gentle as him could stand you.”
“I think your mental image of him is a bit outdated.”
“Hook up with some other man and I’ll puke on your face and rip your intestines out.”
“Graphic.”
“I will.”
“You won’t need to, really.”
“I’d better not. Well, I’ll let you go. You should be helping Taira get settled. I’ll call back later to see if he’s relegated you to the couch yet.”
“He’s not going to-”
“Hmm, well, that depends entirely on you, doesn’t it,” came Taira’s voice from behind him. Jack whipped around to see Taira entering the bedroom with one of his boxes. Taira smiled wryly at Jack’s surprised face. “What, I live here too now, you know.”
“Give ’im hell, Taira!” Melanie shouted into the phone; then, she uttered a simple “Later!” and hung up.
“Taira…” Jack began, warningly.
“It’s not so bad to be friendly with the could-very-well-end-up-sister-in-law, is it?”
Jack put one elbow on Taira’s shoulder and leaned in with a leering grin. “You know we’d have to move to another state if you want to marry me.”
Taira brushed his arm away. “Don’t be silly. I meant if Sven marries your sister.”
“Ouch.”
Taira started getting into drawers and putting things away.
Jack came up from behind, grabbed him around the waist, and pulled him away from his work, falling backwards onto the bed with him. “Don’t be like that,” he coaxed.
Taira turned over on top of him and plopped his chin down on Jack’s chest. “Well, I could possibly be induced to marry you at some point, too… except that it’s probably better for both of us if we don’t try to become legal family. At least, if we’d prefer either one of us have any other family left.”
“Hey, between the two of us, there’s always a chance one of us won’t get disowned for dating a guy.”
“Hmm, no, not likely,” Taira teased, and started to get back up.
Jack held onto his waist and kept him down. He planted a kiss on Taira’s lips. “You don’t mind us living like this, do you?”
“If you have to ask, I take it that means you haven’t noticed that I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life right now?”
“No, I noticed. I was just trying to make you say it.”
“Egomaniac.”
“You love it.”
“I love you; there’s a difference. Now come on and let me go, I have to unpack.”
Jack flipped Taira over on the bed and started kissing his neck. “Later.”
“No, now.” He sighed. “You’re unbelievable. So transparent.”
Jack laughed as Taira picked himself up and went back to his boxes. “What, I’m not the moon anymore?”
“Nope,” Taira replied. “If you were the moon, I couldn’t touch you, and you couldn’t hear me.”
“And just what is it you want me to hear?” Jack asked, sitting cross-legged on the bed and watching happily as his lover knelt on the floor and took over his dresser drawers.
Taira smiled back and opened his mouth to sing an old love song for the man he’d finally caught.
Okay, so I'm officially pissed with the supposed list of Bing Crosby songs I was referencing, because this particular song this chapter is named for was evidently not written until 1969, and while it's jazz, it's 1969, and Bing Crosby never sang it. However, Michael Bublé did sing a lovely version of it, for those of you who like to listen to the song as you read. After I'd seen the lyrics to this song, I just couldn't bear to try and find another song to name the final chapter after. This song's lyrics are just perfect. So, you'll have to deal with only having a Michael Bublé version XD
That said: Reaching for the Moon is finally finished!
Took me long enough, right? But I'm finally done being a slowass and making you guys wait (though seriously I think donhisiewen might be the only person still reading these? XD ...Everybody else dropped off the face of the earth). I inserted a brief plug for the soon-to-be-started sequel, Call Me Irresponsible, which will carry the musical theme (despite not being appropriate without Taira as one of the two main characters XD) but star Jack's friend Syd. It will also be considerably lighter-hearted, more along the lines of The Bell Tower of St. Barnabas, though the main character will be 29. (It'll also feature my first couple age gap, since it'll be the first time the characters weren't high school classmates XD I go from no age gap to an 11-year age gap? Really? *facepalm*)
I tried to insert something about Jack and Melanie's older brother Brett, since it might easily be forgotten that he even exists since he only got a brief mention in the prologue (hell, *I* forgot at one point), but the mention didn't fit anywhere, so I still run the risk of everybody thinking Jack's the oldest. *shrug*
Anyway, with yet another awkward attempt at a sex scene, another story is finished. See you all in Call Me Irresponsible!
-ALiCe