Fic: Each and Every (part a)
Title: Each and Every (part a)
Rating: Overall NC-17 for the verse. PG-13 for this part.
Warning: Future fic, brain injuries, blood, hospitals, medical situations,
Word Count: 10,829
Summary: “It’s just been so hard, you know? I’ve started to forget that there are decent people around. That someone might actually want to help us, not hurt us and…” Kurt sucks in a deep breath, his eyes misting and Janessa wishes there was something she could do, something that could take away the hurt that’s so obvious in Kurt when he lets his guard done. “And I couldn’t stand it if someone hurt Blaine again. I really couldn’t.”
A hate crime leaves Blaine damaged and Kurt refuses to let it bring them down.
Part of the Lovesong verse.
A/N: An incredibly HUGE thanks shandyall for being an amazing beta and providing me with so many ideas (and amazing last names). This chapter is told in multiple points of view, don't let that confuse you! Previous parts are under the cut.
Together (September 15th, 2018)
Of Hurt and Hope (June 20th, 2018; July 13th, 2018)
A Time of Firsts (November 24th, 2018; December 25th, 2018; March 16th, 2019)
To Sleep, To Wake (May 7th, 2018)
(fear) (June 5th, 2018)
Coffee is a Bitter Drink (June 22nd, 2019)
A Father's Eyes (April 23rd, 2018; October 19th, 2018; February 15th, 2019; October 12th, 2019 )
Resolution, Evolution (November 5th, 2019; December 2nd-3rd, 2019)
(feel) (November 16th, 2018)
Resolution, Evolution: a continuation (December 3rd, 2019)
Shatter (January 23rd, 2019)
Let Me(December 17th, 2019)
Let Me: a continuation (December 20th, 2019)
Sometimes (a sandwich is all it takes) (January 17th, 2019)
And When I Wait, All I See is You (May 2nd, 2018; May 9th, 2018)
Hold onto the Sun (April 23rd, 2018; June 20th, 2018; February 8th, 2020)
Hold onto the Sun: a continuation (February 8th, 2020)
(found) (February 19th, 2020; February 28th, 2020)
At the End of the Day (December 4th, 2018)
Slow Dancing (April 26th, 2019; September 2nd, 2019; January 6th, 2020)
Bonus: Letters, blueprint
Janessa Little
June 6th, 2018
The first time Janessa meets Kurt his face is pale and drawn. He worries his bottom lip constantly and his fiancé’s mother holds his hand through the meeting. His hair looks like he was going to style it and gave up, his clothes slightly too baggy and his eyes hold the remains of too many tears shed too many times. It makes her sad.
She’s read about Blaine, his injury (traumatic), his rehab (extensive), his prognosis (hopeful), his needs (total). She’s read and memorized because this is a big job and she needs to know if she’s a good fit. But she hadn’t read about Kurt, doesn’t know much about him aside from the metallic tone his voice gets over the phone, that he’s an assistant fashion designer, that he loves his fiancé very much. Now she wishes she had, she wishes Kurt had been included in the information because now he’s here, sitting in front of her with tortured, lost eyes and she knows nothing about him.
They’re meeting in the coffee shop of the hospital. Janessa sips her coffee nervously, Kurt and Jen Anderson’s untouched. The air between them feels thick, full of nervousness and uncertainty. Neither Kurt nor Jen look ready, prepared for this next step. For what this means.
“Tell me about yourself,” Kurt says after a silent moment, leaning back stiffly in his chair.
“Well, I’m twenty-one and I’m in nursing school. I worked in a nursing home as a CNA for five years and…”
“Janessa,” Kurt cuts her off and she stops, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest because what if she said something wrong already, what if Kurt doesn’t want her, what if she’s not what they’re looking for? But then he gives her a slight smile, as if he can sense what she’s feeling. “I read your resume. Tell us about you.”
“Oh, um,” Janessa starts, wrings her hands together under the table. She generally considers herself a confident person and isn’t usually caught this off guard, but there’s something in the way Kurt’s looking at her, like he’s just as unsure as she is that makes her want this, makes her want to help him. To help this family, however she can. She doesn’t want to screw this up.
“It’s just, this is new for me,” Kurt says before she can continue. “I’ve never thought… never imagined I would have to be doing something like this and I just want to make sure that we find the best fit for Blaine.”
Jen squeezes Kurt’s hand.
“Of course,” Janessa says, nodding. She wants to take a sip of her coffee to ease the tension, to give her a moment to collect her thoughts but her hands have started shaking and she doesn’t want Kurt to see how nervous she is. Wants to seem calm and collected, like the perfect person for them to welcome into their life. “About me. Well, I’m in nursing school but I’ve always loved the arts. I paint, or try to paint, and I’ve been trying to sell some jewelry I’ve made on Etsy, but I’m still waiting for my big break through.”
She gives a shaky laugh and Jen smiles at her encouragingly.
“Um, I have three younger siblings. My brother has Down’s Syndrome and I spent a lot of time taking care of him. He means the world to me, and he might be the feistiest person you’d ever meet.”
“What’s his name?” Jen asks, looking genuinely interested. Janessa feels herself relaxing, slightly, just enough to lean back a little in her chair. “Andrew. He’s sixteen now. He’s the one who pushed me to go into nursing. He really helped me want to make a difference in people’s lives.”
Kurt nods, his face softening as he considers her. “So what made you decide to apply for this position? Why do you want to work with Blaine?”
Janessa takes in a deep breath, knows this is the important part. This is what decides it.
“Honestly, I think this would be great experience. I’ve always been interested in the brain and in, um, neurotrauma.” She doesn’t miss the way Kurt flinches slightly at the word, the way he looks down at his coffee, eyes hard. She swallows and continues. “But mostly, when I read your story, I felt touched. I have a boyfriend that I love more than anything and if something ever happened to him… I don’t know what I’d do. Reading about what happened, about what you and Blaine are going through, it made me want to help, in any way that I can.”
“Thank you, Janessa,” Jen says, reaches across the table to touch Janessa’s arm with a smile. “You seem very kind.”
She doesn’t know how to take this, the kind smile on Jen’s face, the way Kurt is still staring into his coffee. This family is damaged, hurt and struggling, she can see that and maybe it’s too much to ask , to be included, maybe it’s too much for them right now, with so many changes in their lives but-
“Please,” she says suddenly, trying to catch Kurt’s gaze. “I haven’t even met Blaine yet and he’s all I’ve been able to think about for days. I looked up your story on the news and it just makes me so angry what those people did. It sort of makes me want to put on spandex and hunt them down and go all vigilante on their sorry asses but I know I can’t, as much as I want to and so I want to help in whatever way I can and wow, I’ve probably just said too much.”
Janessa bites her lip, brushes her hair back behind her ear and stares at her hands.
“Do you want to?” Kurt’s voice draws her attention back up and she blinks. “Meet him, I mean?”
Kurt smiles gently and there’s something in his eyes that Janessa hasn’t seen yet. Hope, maybe?
“Yes, I would love to,” she replies quickly and her heart hammers even faster, racing anxiously in her chest. Kurt and Jen share a quick look before standing.
“He’s upstairs,” Kurt says, motions for her to follow him.
There’s a tired slump in his shoulders, a weight in his step and Janessa aches, has barely known him for half an hour and already feels connected to him, wants to lift his burden in any way she possibly can. She’s nervous, so, so nervous about meeting Blaine, about saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing. Nervous that maybe she can’t help, that she won’t be able to make a difference, but that makes her all the more determined. Determined to help, to make a difference, no matter how small, in this couple’s life.
They take an elevator up two floors, go down a hallway and turn once and then they’re pausing, in front of a wooden door decorated with pictures of smiley faces that look like they were drawn by elementary schoolers.
“Blaine’s a music teacher,” Kurt explains when he sees Janessa looking and she can’t help the pang that shoots through her at Kurt’s use of present tense. “His students drew these.”
And then he opens the door, lets Jen enter before him, ushers Janessa through. It’s cozy inside, the room a warm tan with wood paneling and soft lighting. Sunlight streams through partially open blinds and there’s a duffle bag in the corner, a small stack of papers and books that make it look homey, like people spend a lot of time in the room.
“Hey sweetie,” Jennifer is saying, stepping close to the bed and Janessa watches as she leans to kiss Blaine’s forehead. His eyes are blinking like he just woke up, slow and hazy. She’s seen pictures of him, but they were from before, smiling, healthy pictures of Blaine sitting under a tree, Blaine holding hands with Kurt at Christmas time. This boy… he looks completely different. His eyes look tired, framed by dark shadows, his cheeks sunken, his skin pale like he hasn’t seen the sun in a long time. His lips are parted, the left side drooping a little lower than the right and his hair is clipped short, red scars winding across the side of his head, just above his ear.
“We’ve brought someone to meet you.” Jen sits in the seat beside Blaine, her hand stroking across his arm and Blaine’s eyes trace across the room, his head turning slightly until it lands on them. Kurt smiles, honestly just lights up when he looks at Blaine, and he rests his hand on Janessa’s shoulder, guides her forward.
“Blaine, this is Janessa. She might be helping out when you come home,” Kurt explains, motioning to Janessa. Her mouth feels dry but she swallows and smiles, nods her head towards Blaine.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” she says, taking a step forward and telling herself to stop being nervous. Blaine is just a person, a person who had something really horrible happen to him, who needs some extra help, but is still himself. Still a person who deserves everything anyone else does.
Blaine’s eyes move over her face, like he’s examining her. His expression doesn’t change, stays almost disconcertingly neutral, but his fingers twitch, his hand lifting a few inches above the bed, almost like he wants to shake her hand. So Janessa reaches out, lets her hand wrap around Blaine’s. His skin is warm, soft like someone has recently put lotion on it and she gives his hand a small shake, her smile growing genuine when he squeezes back.
She lets go, watches as Kurt brushes a piece of lint from Blaine’s shoulder, sees the careful and tender way he is around him, sees the way his eyes glimmer when he looks at Blaine, sees how Blaine keeps glancing up at Kurt, nothing but trust in his face, and she knows. This is love. This is what she wants to help preserve, no matter what.
Something stirs deep inside her and she clears her throat, licks her lips and smiles honestly at Blaine.
“Kurt was just telling me that you teach music,” she says, Blaine’s eyes flickering back from Kurt to her. “My best friend and I have a band. We call ourselves the Damned Damsels.” She lets out a laugh that’s more nervous than anything but Blaine is watching her with what looks like interest so she continues. “She thinks we’re amazing but really we kind of suck. It’s probably because I can only play the tambourine and she can only play the harmonica but we work it.”
Kurt chuckles and Janessa ducks her head a little.
“I bet, if this works out, that you could give me a tip or two. Or, if you have some sort of vendetta against tambourines we could do whatever you want to do. We can paint pictures or go to the park or sit around all day in our pajamas, that’s generally my favorite thing to do.”
Blaine shifts his shoulders a little, makes a tiny noise in his throat and lifts his pointer finger, glancing up at Kurt in an almost expectant way.
“That means yes,” Kurt explains, smiling at Janessa. “One finger means yes and two means no.”
“Awesome,” Janessa says, mind already racing with everything she could do with Blaine. “We could do some finger painting, maybe? I have lots of art supplies. Stickers, glitter, feathers. You look like someone who appreciates the expertise of incorporating feathers into their art. Actually you probably know better and will completely show me up. We’ll scratch the feathers then and stick with the glitter and I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
Janessa looks up at an amused Kurt, a smile tugging at his lips and she turns back to Blaine, leaning in close and lowering her voice just slightly.
“Sorry, I talk a lot when I’m nervous. Especially when I’m around someone as hot as hubby here,” she says, nodding towards Kurt and Blaine laughs. It’s choppy and quiet but it’s a real laugh and Kurt’s eyes snap wide, face an expression of surprise.
“Well you are pretty hot,” Janessa says to Kurt with a shrug, feeling lighter than she has all day and she knows that she could get along with Blaine, already finds herself wanting to stay and work with him, to put a smile back on his face. Back on both their faces.
Blaine is lifting his finger in a way that Janessa imagines he’s agreeing with her and Kurt shoots him a look that she can see him using before, maybe when they would playfully argue or Kurt would catch Blaine checking him out in public. It makes her laugh and Blaine lifts his hand a few inches towards Kurt, who threads their fingers together. Blaine lifts the hand so it drifts towards his chest and Kurt smiles, leans to kiss his forehead.
Jen stands suddenly, gives Blaine’s hand a squeeze before turning to Kurt. “I’m going to grab some more coffee, give you guys a few moments to talk things over?”
Kurt nods at her gratefully.
“It was so nice to meet you, Janessa. I would love for you to work with my son,” Jen says, drawing Janessa in for a quick hug before turning and closing the door quietly behind her. Blaine’s still watching her, his eyes blinking and Janessa thinks he looks a little tired, but he’s still squeezing Kurt’s hand, still clinging and observing.
Kurt motions to the now empty chair, before sitting in his own chair. Janessa takes a timid seat, trying to keep the smile on her face.
“So I won’t be making a final decision today, I need to talk things over with Blaine and his family first, but if you are still interested in working with us, we would like to go over a few things?”
“Of course,” Janessa says, making sure to nod at both Kurt and Blaine because she can see they’re in this together. They’re in everything together.
“So we just bought a new house, it’s has a ramp and we’ve been working on making it fully handicap accessible,” Kurt explains and his voice has a new tone to it, like he’s trying to take control but he’s still uncomfortable, still unsure. “You’d be doing a lot of running around, taking Blaine to therapy. We’ve been trying to work out a schedule and it looks like he’ll be coming here four days a week. He’ll have things that we’ll need you to work on at home too.”
“Totally,” Janessa nods, and she can see Kurt shift, clutch Blaine’s hand a little tighter.
“Uh, Blaine will need help with all of his, um, cares, so you’ll have to be comfortable with helping him takes baths and use the bathroom and get dressed and everything.”
“Completely comfortable,” Janessa says, as warmly as she can, can see the slightly embarrassed tinge to Blaine’s cheeks, the way he’s looking at his lap. “Whatever Blaine needs, I’ll be there. I’m fun to boss around, I promise.” She takes a chance, reaches out and lightly touches Blaine’s arm and he looks up at her, eyes clouded but a tiny smile lifting at his lips.
“Blaine, do you want to show her your feeding tube?” Kurt asks gently and Blaine lets his fingers fumble with the hem of his shirt, Kurt waiting patiently as he tries to get a grip, only reaching forward when Blaine glances up at him, helping him to hook his fingers under the material and lift his shirt up to his ribs, exposing the little white button. “He’ll get his meals and meds this way, so you’ll need to be comfortable with this too.”
“Of course,” Janessa tries to reassure because she really is comfortable with doing anything for them, there’s not much that could gross her out or scare her off but she can see how new and frightening this is, for both Kurt and Blaine, can see how much they’re struggling to keep control and how important this is, making sure everything goes well. “I’m fine with doing anything you need me to do, both of you. Honestly. I want to be here for you guys and to make life maybe a little bit easier. So if you need to get groceries or run to appointments or clean bathrooms or kill bees, I’ll totally do it. I’m comfortable with personal cares and medical cares, and anything else you could possibly need me to do.”
Kurt nods, a range of emotions flashing across his face and Blaine’s started blinking tiredly, probably starting losing interest as sleep creeps nearer, and Kurt strokes his thumb over Blaine’s hand soothingly.
“Thank you,” Kurt says after a short moment, his voice a little quieter. “This meeting has actually gone much better than I expected.”
“Really?” Janessa asks, feels touched. Blaine’s eyes have slipped closed now, like he’s given up the fight to keep them open and Kurt smiles at him, a sad sort of smile.
“The first person we interviewed didn’t realize that we were gay and took one look at us and left. That was fun.”
Janessa gapes, anger starting to bubble in her veins because so far Kurt and Blaine have probably been the sweetest people she’s ever met and she can’t imagine someone just leaving like that. “Kurt, I’m so sorry. What a bitch.”
Kurt laughs, a dry laugh, looks up at Janessa. “It’s just been so hard, you know? I’ve started to forget that there are decent people around. That someone might actually want to help us, not hurt us and…” Kurt sucks in a deep breath, his eyes misting and Janessa wishes there was something she could do, something that could take away the hurt that’s so obvious in Kurt when he lets his guard done. “And I couldn’t stand it if someone hurt Blaine again. I really couldn’t.”
Hot tears prick behind Janessa’s own eyes but she swallows them down, reaches across to touch Kurt’s forearm gently.
“I want to help, Kurt. I know I’m practically a stranger, but I really want to help you keep Blaine safe. I want to help him, and you, because I can already tell you deserve it.”
Kurt sniffs, lifts his hand to wipe at his eyes, gives a shaky laugh. “Well, I’ve never broken down like this in front of a stranger so I think you might already have an in.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” Janessa says with a wink just as Blaine gives a tiny snuffle and a sigh, already deep asleep.
“He had a long day,” Kurt murmurs, collecting himself, drawing his shoulders up and returning to the poise of the Kurt she first met. “They’ve, um, been working on standing so that it’s easier to help him transfer. It’s good but I know it wears him out.”
“It sounds like he’s been working hard.” She keeps her voice soft, glancing at Blaine and smiling at how peaceful he looks when he’s sleeping.
“He has, he’s been amazing,” Kurt looks at her and she can see how much he means it, how proud he is of Blaine. “He’s coming home next week and I took the week off of work to help get him settled. I’d love for you to come by sometime next week if you can, I could show you the house and we could go over a few more things?”
“That would be perfect.”
“Great,” Kurt smiles and starts to stand, hesitates. “So, um, can I give you a hug?”
Janessa stands, something warm spreading through her and she wraps her arms around Kurt’s waist, her head barely coming up to his shoulder but it’s nice. He’s warm and gives her a squeeze and she can hear his breath catching in his throat.
“Thank you so much, Janessa. For the first time I feel like something might be starting to go right.”
She lets her eyes flutter shut, breathes him in and squeezes back before letting go.
“I’d love to help things try and stay right,” she whispers and for the first time she feels like she’s actually doing something with her life, like she could make a difference and really help someone. “Tell Blaine I really enjoyed meeting him?”
“Of course,” Kurt says, glancing back at Blaine. “He liked you.”
“I look forward to seeing both of you again,” Janessa says, reaching forward to give Kurt a firm handshake and he laughs and Janessa wonders how it’s possible for this couple to already affect her so much.
She knows she’s here to stay.
Laura Brooks
June 19th, 2018
The last day, they have a party. Blaine’s been in the unit for over a month, has silently charmed his way into the hearts of all the nurses and no one wants to see him go. Laura knows she’s not supposed to choose favorites, that all her patients are equally important, but she can’t really help it. She’s going to miss Blaine, a lot.
He’s leaving the next day and she can tell he’s anxious to leave the hospital, knows that no one really likes to be here for so long. They have the party in the lounge, hang balloons from the ceiling and Blaine smiles widely, Kurt sitting next to him and clutching his hand tight. The room is busy, so many nurses and therapists and aids coming to say goodbye, everyone ready with shining eyes and hugs.
“We’re going to miss you,” Laura says, tries to keep the wobble out of her voice, blinks back the tears as she leans down to wrap her arms around Blaine, feels him returning the hug. “I won’t have anyone to read books with anymore.”
She pulls away, smiles tearfully down at Blaine before turning to wrap Kurt in an equally tight hug, is so happy for both of them.
“You guys are going to do great,” she says, sniffs and laughs, embarrassed. Blaine’s become such a constant, always there to smile at the nurses, to listen when she would read to him, pucker his lips adorably when she would apply the chapstick Kurt had brought for him. “You have to promise to come visit sometime.”
“Of course we will,” Kurt assures, reaches forward to squeeze her shoulder. “You have all been so wonderful to us, we’ll definitely come visit.”
(And they do, on the one year anniversary of Blaine’s discharge, Blaine walking in with his walker, Kurt’s hand on his back, his voice crisp and clear as he greets everyone and there isn’t a dry eye on the unit. After having so many patients, so many goodbyes and losses, to see someone getting better, to see everything going right, it’s truly amazing.)
“Thank you,” Laura says, kisses Blaine’s cheek, and says goodbye.
Robert Anderson
December 5th, 2018
“Can you get that?” Robert shouts when the house phone rings, leaning back in his chair to make his voice carry further. He’s holed himself up in his study for the day, has what feels like a hundred accounts to audit, and very little time to do it.
But the phone keeps ringing and Robert wonders if Jen’s gone out, or maybe she’s napping. Whatever the reason, he gets up with a grumble, jogs out to the living room to grab the phone on its last ring before the answering machine picks it up.
“Anderson’s,” Robert answers gruffly, glancing across the room. It’s nearly five, he supposes he can afford a few moments of a break.
There’s only breathing on the other line, a clicking noise and Robert sighs, about to hang up when a tiny voice makes it through, a muttered, “dad?”
Robert blinks, hand tightening on the handset. “Blaine?”
“Hi.” The word is quiet, breathy and stilted but Robert sinks onto the couch anyways, closes his eyes because it’s Blaine, his son, and he’s…
“You’re talking,” Robert says dumbly, can’t really think of anything else to say because it’s been months since he’s heard his son’s voice, since he thought he might never hear Blaine’s voice again.
“Pr… prac,” Blaine starts, falters, and Robert can hear quiet encouraging, knows Kurt must be with him. “Pr…acticing,” Blaine manages and Robert can almost see the smile on his face, the way he’s probably looking at Kurt right now, that hesitant look for approval he so often gets.
“You sound great, Blaine. I…” Robert draws in a deep breath. “You’ve been holding out on us.”
There’s a rustling sound, like Blaine’s dropped the phone and is scrambling to pick it back up and Robert waits patiently, no longer cares about how long this call takes. He hasn’t always been patient with Blaine, hasn’t been as understanding of a father as he could have been, but he’s determined to make up for that now, to always be there when Blaine needs him.
“Wa…anted, uh… surprise,” Blaine mumbles, voice no longer very confident and Robert can tell how much effort this is taking, knows Blaine probably spent all day, all week even, planning this phone call.
“Well, I’m surprised,” Robert says, lets out a shaky laugh. “Such a good surprise.”
A hesitant pause, Robert wonders if he should say something, what there is to say.
“How… you, um,” Blaine grunts in frustration, the gentle sounds of Kurt in the background again.
“How am I?” Robert tries, hears Blaine give a small hum in assent. “I’m good. I’m…”
I’m sorry, I love you, I wish I could take everything away and make it all okay again.
“I’m so proud of you.”
A pause, then a whispered, “thanks.”
“You sound good, Blaine. I… I can’t believe you’re calling.”
“Kur… um, he to…old me… to.”
“You tell him thank you from me, okay?”
A noise that sounds like a small laugh comes through the phone and Robert smiles, can’t help himself.
“kay,” Blaine says. He can hear a tired note in Blaine’s voice, wonders how much work just this phone call has been for him.
“I love you, Blaine.” Robert presses the phone closer, like he can somehow bring Blaine closer by doing so.
“Love you,” Blaine returns and Robert has to bite his lip, thinks he can count on one hand the number of times Blaine has said those words since he came out.
“It’s so good to hear your voice,” Robert says, doesn’t really trust himself to say anything else. “Make sure to call again soon, okay son?”
“I… will,” Blaine promises. “Bye.”
“Bye, Blaine,” Robert whispers, holds the phone to his ear even after Blaine hangs up, scrubs his hand across his face. His heart is beating too fast in his chest, his fingers ache from how tightly he’s gripping the phone and despite everything, he smiles.
Blaine’s getting better.
Sarah Hudson
December 25th, 2018
Sarah presses her face to the glass, eyes wide as saucers as she stares out the window. She’s never been to New York before, has never really been outside of Ohio and she’s never seen so many lights before. She can see tall buildings in the far distance, snow drifting and catching the headlights like thousands of twinkling Christmas lights and to her it seems like magic. Like she got off the plane into a completely different world and she wonders if she hasn’t seen her uncles in so long because they’re stuck in this magical place.
“Sarah, honey, this is a rental remember? Don’t get the glass dirty.” Mel’s voice grabs her attention, a hand on her shoulder pulling her back and she grunts because her mom always ruins her fun. So she turns her attention to bouncing on the seat excitedly, looking between Mel and Finn.
“How much longer?”
“A little bit, be patient,” Finn says and Sarah crosses her arms, slouching in her seat because she’s just so excited and now dad has to come and ruin her fun too.
“It’s been awhile since you’ve seen your uncles, isn’t it?” Carole asks from the front seat, turning around to smile at Sarah and she nods, exclaims “forever!”
Carole chuckles, reaches back to ruffle her hair and Sarah giggles.
“Do you think Uncle Kurt will make cookies with me again?” She remembers the last time she saw her uncles, Kurt let her stir the dough and they both took turns sneaking some when her mom wasn’t looking.
“I think I remember Uncle Kurt telling me he’s been dying for someone to help him make some sugar cookies,” Carole says, winking at her and she bounces again, clapping her hands together.
“Can we decorate them?”
“I’m sure Uncle Kurt would love to decorate them with you,” Mel says, giving Sarah’s shoulder a quick squeeze. Sarah wiggles because she’s been waiting for so long for this trip and now there’s lights and cookies and it all seems like a dream come true and she’s decided she loves her uncles.
“Uncle Blaine gave me a piggy back ride once!” she declares after a moment, looking to her mom and dad expectantly. “If I ask nice will he give me one this time?”
There’s silence for a moment and both Finn and Mel’s faces have turned that serious expression they do when they talk about grown up things.
“Remember what we talked about, sweetie?” Mel says, brushing her hands through Sarah’s hair. “About Uncle Blaine?”
Sarah nods, biting her lip and looking at her lap and hoping that she didn’t just do something wrong. “That Uncle Blaine got hurt.”
“Uh huh,” Mel continues in that soft mom-voice she uses when Sarah knows something is serious. “You need to remember, okay? He can’t do as many things as he used to do, so you need to be extra nice to him.”
Sarah gives another serious nod because she is going to be nice to Uncle Blaine, she just doesn’t understand. “But he hurt his head, not his arms.”
Carole reaches back to take Sarah’s hand, giving a little squeeze. “Hurting his head hurt him all over, honey.”
“Uncle Blaine is going to be different from what you remember,” Finn explains after her Grandma, and Sarah doesn’t like that they’re all using their grown up voices with her but she’s trying really hard to understand because she likes Uncle Blaine and wants to have fun with him. “He was hurt really badly and you need to be extra good around him.”
“I will,” Sarah promises, looking up at her parents with wide eyes. “I’ll be extra good.”
And she’s good for the rest of the car ride, patiently looks out the window and only squeals a little bit when they finally, finally, pull into the driveway.
“Whoa,” Sarah says when they get out of the car, holding onto her mom’s hand so she doesn’t slip on any ice. The house is average looking, not any more exciting than her house back at home, but there’s a long wooden ramp leading up to the front door, like a slide that’s not quite steep enough. She thinks it looks fun.
A mix of excitement and nervousness grows inside when they ring the front door because she hasn’t seen her uncles since Easter and she’s always a little bit anxious seeing people for the first time. But then Kurt is answering the door and hugging everyone and inviting them in and his eyes widen when he sees her and he scoops her up, twirling her in his arms.
“Oh my beautiful niece, it’s been too long,” he says, pressing kisses to her cheek and she giggles, shaking her head because that’s sort of gross.
“Hi Uncle Kurt,” she says when he stops spinning her, a wide smile on her face and he holds her in a tight hug before plopping her back on the ground.
“You’re getting so tall, I can’t believe it! How old are you now, twenty?”
Sarah giggles into her hands because Uncle Kurt is so weird. “I’m five silly!”
“Nearly twenty then,” Kurt says, winking at her dad for some reason. “Did you have a good flight?” She nods, letting her mom maneuver her around to take of her winter coat.
“They gave me cookies!” she exclaims and Kurt raises his eyebrows and smiles because everyone loves cookies.
“I suppose you wouldn’t be interested in making cookies with me then, hmm?” he teases and she nods her head vigorously.
“Please can we make cookies?” she pleads and Kurt laughs, leaning down to plant a kiss on her head and why does everyone insist on kissing her all the time?
“Of course we can. Tomorrow, alright?” She nods again and her mom takes her hand, giving it a small squeeze in the way that Sarah knows is supposed to remind her to stay calm and be good. Kurt’s motioning for them all to come in, leading them passed the entrance and the grownups are all talking but Sarah isn’t really paying attention, mesmerized by the tinsel and wreaths decorating the house, the smell of something delicious cooking and the wrapped presents under the tiny artificial tree.
But then they’re in the living room and the conversation has grown quieter and Sarah looks up to see Uncle Blaine on the couch, smiling at them. She doesn’t really know why but she finds herself hiding behind Mel as everyone greets him, leaning in for hugs or handshakes. Blaine’s greeting them softly and Sarah can’t really hear what he’s saying but Carole is telling him how good it is to hear his voice again and Finn is clapping him on the back and everyone seems really happy and Sarah is just starting to feel confused.
“Sarah, don’t you want to say hi to Uncle Blaine?” Finn asks her and she tucks herself further behind her mother’s legs, only peeking her head out.
“Hi,” Blaine says, ducking his head a little and lifting his hand to wave at her. She waves back but doesn’t move forward, staying firmly behind Mel. She knew Uncle Blaine had been hurt, she remembers when her dad left for a week to come out and help, remembers them explaining things to her with tears in their eyes but she hadn’t really understood that it was more than when she sprained her wrist riding her bike, more than just a scraped knee that could be easily fixed.
Uncle Blaine looks different, in a way she can’t really explain, his smile uneven and his hair a little too long and he’s sitting stiffly, like he’s uncomfortable and there’s a wheelchair next to the couch, like the one Timmy in her class has but bigger and she didn’t know he needed one of those. Kurt’s taken a seat on the arm of the chair, his hand on Blaine’s shoulder and Sarah buries her face into her mom’s leg because this is so different than she imagined and she really wanted a piggy back ride and to play with her uncles and now everyone is acting so quiet and strange.
“Are you hungry, Sarah?” Kurt asks and she nods.
“We’ve had a long day,” Mel explains and she can hear people moving around, peeks out from behind her mom.
“Well, I’ve got dinner mostly ready, it’ll just be about half an hour and we can eat, okay?” Everyone agrees that dinner sounds perfect, it is almost seven, and with a kiss to Blaine’s head, Kurt leaves for the kitchen, followed by Carole and Mel. Burt sits on the couch beside Blaine and Finn stays back to usher Sarah to the bathroom. He makes sure she thoroughly washes and dries her hands after she goes potty before squatting down to her level.
“Hey cupcake, can I ask you a question before we go back out?”
Sarah nods, her lower lip already beginning to jut out because this is the voice her dad uses when he wants to talk about something serious.
“Why didn’t you say hi to Uncle Blaine?”
“I don’t know,” Sarah answers softly, staring down at her feet. Finn reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Are you scared?” he asks, and Sarah pauses, thinks about it for a minute, before shaking her head.
“Are you nervous?”
She thinks again, bites her lip and nods.
“Why are you nervous? Do you think you’re going to hurt him?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, nodding at the ground. “He’s different.”
“I know, he seems different now but he’s still your Uncle Blaine. You just have to be extra nice and gentle to him. Think you can do that?”
“Uh huh.” She looks up at her dad, and he pulls her in for a quick hug.
“You don’t have to be nervous around him, he’s been looking forward to seeing you. Uncle Kurt told me.”
“I’ll be good,” she says when her dad lets go and he stands back up, smiles down at her.
“Cool.” He takes her hand and leads her from the bathroom.
The kitchen is bustling with activity and Finn is roped into helping set the table. Sarah gets her pink backpack from where her mom put it by the front door, skips back to the living room. She still hesitates when she sees Blaine, glances between him and Burt on the couch.
“You wanna come sit?” Burt asks, patting the couch beside him. Sarah clambers up beside him, Burt giving her shoulder a pat and Blaine smiling at her. She’s nervous again even though her dad said not to be, but she can’t really help it. She’s not sure what she should say or do and she doesn’t want to get in trouble for saying something wrong and everyone is making noise in the kitchen but it’s so silent in here.
“Did… um,” Blaine starts, his voice cracking little and he swallows, his cheeks turning red and Sarah wonders if maybe he’s nervous too. But that would be silly because grownups don’t get nervous. “Your flight… okay?”
Sarah wiggles a little, glances up at Burt because she’s sort of confused.
“Yeah, it was Sarah’s first flight, wasn’t it?” Burt answers, looking down to Sarah and she nods proudly.
“Yeah! It was scary when it got bumpy though,” Sarah says, actually looking at Blaine this time and he nods seriously.
“There was a lot of turbulence,” Burt explains and Sarah tries to repeat the word but it comes out sounding more like “tub’lance.”
“Hey Sarah, why don’t you show Uncle Blaine your wing sticker?” Burt asks, giving Sarah’s shoulder a nudge.
“Oh!” She digs in her backpack before finding the right sticker, gold and glossy and pretty much perfect. Burt gives her a tiny shove, and she hesitates for only a moment before scooting across the couch until she’s right next to Blaine.
“Look, Uncle Blaine!” She holds the sticker up so he can see, moving it so that it can catch the light and shine. “The pilot gave it to me.”
“Wow,” Blaine says with a smile, lifting his hand to touch it gently. “It’s pr…etty.”
Sarah looks up at Blaine, tilts her head and considers him.
“Can I hold your hand?”
“Course.” Blaine smiles at her, reaches to take her hand in his much bigger one. His fingers are cold and she holds them carefully in her hand.
“Daddy says I need to be gentle.”
Blaine lets out a small laugh, eyes crinkling as he smiles.
“I’m tough,” he says, bumping against her softly. “I can… take it.”
She grips his hand a little harder, scoots herself a little closer and smiles widely up at him. Dad was right, she realizes, there’s no reason to be nervous of Uncle Blaine. He looks just as excited to see her as he always does.
“I’m going to go see if they need help with dinner, do you two need anything?” Burt asks, standing abruptly and gently touching Sarah’s shoulder and looking really happy about something. She shakes her head because she mostly just wants her grandpa to leave; she can see him any day and she has things to show Uncle Blaine, he should know that.
“I have lots more stickers,” Sarah announces proudly, pulling her backpack onto her lap. “Do you want to see them?”
“I’d… love too,” Blaine says and she struggles to open the backpack one handed before Blaine lets go of her hand so she can successfully unzip it. She pulls it open and holds it up so Blaine can see inside.
“Wow,” he says, sounding impressed, as he should be. “That’s, um, a lot of… of stickers.”
“I know,” Sarah says seriously because her stickers are a serious thing. “I have a collection.”
She starts sorting through the stickers and pulling out her favorites, setting them carefully on Blaine’s leg, explaining each one. Blaine listens intently, occasionally asking her a question about them and sometimes she can’t really understand him because his voice is sort of funny now, but she’s glad that someone finally appreciates her sticker collection. They sort them by color, spreading them across both Blaine and Sarah’s lap and Blaine keeps knocking them onto the floor and she can’t stop giggling.
“Do you want one?” she asks after a little while, looking up at Uncle Blaine.
“I… love one,” he says with a smile and she bounces a little, turns back to examine the stickers closely, looking for the perfect one. It takes her a moment to settle on a green dinosaur with purple spots, holding it up proudly and waiting for Blaine’s nod of approval. Biting her lip, she concentrates on peeling off the back before twisting as much as she can, considering and placing the sticker on the collar of Blaine’s shirt.
“There!” she exclaims happily and Blaine reaches up to pat the sticker down.
“P… perfect,” Blaine smiles and motions to the stickers. “You?”
Sarah picks out a sticker for herself, a pink sparkly flower, peels off the back and tells Blaine to stick it to her cheek, which he does obediently. She claps excitedly when Kurt enters the room, plops himself down beside Sarah, squishing her between the two of them.
“What are you guys up to?” he asks and Sarah frowns at him because is he blind?
“I’m showing Uncle Blaine my stickers!” she proclaims, gesturing towards the ones still spread out on their laps. “I gave him one, see.”
“Wow, a dinosaur.” Kurt reaches to smooth his finger over the sticker on Blaine’s collar, who’s turned to show it to him.
“Do you want one too?” Sarah asks because she has another green dinosaur and it would make sense if they had the same one.
“That would be great, Sarah,” Kurt says, leaning in to kiss the top of her head. She squirms under him before digging out the other sticker, patting it onto his shirt.
“There. Now you match because you love each other.” Sarah says it like it’s a fact because it is. Sometimes her mom wears her dad’s clothes in the morning so they match and she knows it’s because they’re married and love each other.
“We do,” Kurt says, standing and leaning to kiss the edge of Blaine’s lips and Sarah makes a face because why do grownups always want to do that in front of her? “And now you need to go wash your hands because it’s time for dinner.”
Sarah quickly gathers her stickers up, putting them back in her backpack because she’s starving, stands to the side as Kurt helps Blaine get into his wheelchair.
“Can I ride too?” she asks because she sat in Timmy’s wheelchair once and it was really fun. Kurt looks down at Blaine hesitantly who nods and pats his legs. Sarah lets Kurt hoist her onto Blaine’s lap, Blaine wrapping his arms around her waist and she squeals when Kurt starts to push them into the kitchen.
“I love you Uncle Blaine,” Sarah says when she’s finished laughing, turning in Blaine’s lap to wrap her arms around his neck and press a kiss to his cheek.
“You too,” he whispers back, holding her tighter and resting his cheek on the top of her head.
-
The next morning Sarah stirs awake and doesn’t know where she is. She’s squished between two bodies, an arm draped over her and at first she thinks she must have fallen asleep in her parents’ bed. But she doesn’t remember have a bad dream or being scared and her parents wouldn’t let her sleep with them otherwise.
So she peeks one eye open and sees a full head of curly hair, giggles and blows away a strand that’s by her lips. Uncle Blaine gives a wide yawn and stirs, smacks his lips together and blinks his eyes open. Sarah giggles again because he looks sort of silly with his hair all messed up and a goofy grin on his face. He reaches up to boop her nose, his fingers still painted an array of pink and purple and green, glitter and stickers still stuck to his pajamas.
There are blankets and pillows all around them, the soft glow of Christmas lights illuminating the room. They’d stayed up way past her normal bedtime building a blanket fort, Kurt and her gathering up as many blankets and pillows as they could find, Blaine watching from his comfortable pillow throne. Blaine had let her paint his nails and draw flowers on his arms with markers (at least until Kurt had told her that she wasn’t allowed to draw on Uncle Blaine because he couldn’t run away) and they’d made glitter cards out of Uncle Blaine’s art supplies and Kurt had braided her hair in a million little braids and her uncles are way cooler than her parents.
They’d fallen asleep close to midnight, wrapped up under a mountain of blankets in their fort and Kurt had left the lights on the Christmas tree on, Sarah snuggling in between them and kissing each of their foreheads before falling asleep and she’s pretty sure this has actually been the best Christmas ever.
Until now, when Kurt rolls over, probably reaching for Blaine, squishing Sarah underneath him. She squeals and squirms out from under him, pressed against Uncle Blaine who’s started laughing. Kurt starts awake, surprised, his mouth curling into a smile when he looks at Sarah and Blaine.
“Well I didn’t know I was going to wake up next to such a beautiful princess,” he says, leaning forward to plant a sloppy kiss on her forehead.
“Eww,” Sarah protests and Kurt gets a look on his face that Sarah doesn’t like before he jumps in, starts stickling her sides. She screams and tries to run away, backs up over Blaine and collapses across his stomach.
“Save me ,Uncle Blaine!” she shrieks and Blaine’s arms are covering her, providing protection from Kurt who’s towering over them, leaning in and…
There’s a smacking noise and all of a sudden Sarah realizes they’re kissing and what is it with grownups and kissing, seriously? She squirms out from between them, making disgusted noises and Kurt is laughing, his arms wrapping around Blaine as he snuggles into his side, reaches one hand out to tuck a tiny braid behind Sarah’s ear.
“Morning,” Uncle Blaine whispers and Sarah makes a face, crosses her arms pointedly.
“Can we have pancakes for breakfast?” she asks, hoping to get her uncles to stop kissing each other and start doing something else instead. Something more fun and tasty, preferably.
“Love pancakes,” Blaine says in agreement, looking at Kurt expectantly. Kurt sighs dramatically before sitting up, helping Blaine to sit up, propping some pillows against the couch that he can lean against.
“Pancakes it is.”
And so Sarah decides that her uncles are probably the coolest people ever, no matter what.
part b
Rating: Overall NC-17 for the verse. PG-13 for this part.
Warning: Future fic, brain injuries, blood, hospitals, medical situations,
Word Count: 10,829
Summary: “It’s just been so hard, you know? I’ve started to forget that there are decent people around. That someone might actually want to help us, not hurt us and…” Kurt sucks in a deep breath, his eyes misting and Janessa wishes there was something she could do, something that could take away the hurt that’s so obvious in Kurt when he lets his guard done. “And I couldn’t stand it if someone hurt Blaine again. I really couldn’t.”
A hate crime leaves Blaine damaged and Kurt refuses to let it bring them down.
Part of the Lovesong verse.
A/N: An incredibly HUGE thanks shandyall for being an amazing beta and providing me with so many ideas (and amazing last names). This chapter is told in multiple points of view, don't let that confuse you! Previous parts are under the cut.
Together (September 15th, 2018)
Of Hurt and Hope (June 20th, 2018; July 13th, 2018)
A Time of Firsts (November 24th, 2018; December 25th, 2018; March 16th, 2019)
To Sleep, To Wake (May 7th, 2018)
(fear) (June 5th, 2018)
Coffee is a Bitter Drink (June 22nd, 2019)
A Father's Eyes (April 23rd, 2018; October 19th, 2018; February 15th, 2019; October 12th, 2019 )
Resolution, Evolution (November 5th, 2019; December 2nd-3rd, 2019)
(feel) (November 16th, 2018)
Resolution, Evolution: a continuation (December 3rd, 2019)
Shatter (January 23rd, 2019)
Let Me(December 17th, 2019)
Let Me: a continuation (December 20th, 2019)
Sometimes (a sandwich is all it takes) (January 17th, 2019)
And When I Wait, All I See is You (May 2nd, 2018; May 9th, 2018)
Hold onto the Sun (April 23rd, 2018; June 20th, 2018; February 8th, 2020)
Hold onto the Sun: a continuation (February 8th, 2020)
(found) (February 19th, 2020; February 28th, 2020)
At the End of the Day (December 4th, 2018)
Slow Dancing (April 26th, 2019; September 2nd, 2019; January 6th, 2020)
Bonus: Letters, blueprint
Janessa Little
June 6th, 2018
The first time Janessa meets Kurt his face is pale and drawn. He worries his bottom lip constantly and his fiancé’s mother holds his hand through the meeting. His hair looks like he was going to style it and gave up, his clothes slightly too baggy and his eyes hold the remains of too many tears shed too many times. It makes her sad.
She’s read about Blaine, his injury (traumatic), his rehab (extensive), his prognosis (hopeful), his needs (total). She’s read and memorized because this is a big job and she needs to know if she’s a good fit. But she hadn’t read about Kurt, doesn’t know much about him aside from the metallic tone his voice gets over the phone, that he’s an assistant fashion designer, that he loves his fiancé very much. Now she wishes she had, she wishes Kurt had been included in the information because now he’s here, sitting in front of her with tortured, lost eyes and she knows nothing about him.
They’re meeting in the coffee shop of the hospital. Janessa sips her coffee nervously, Kurt and Jen Anderson’s untouched. The air between them feels thick, full of nervousness and uncertainty. Neither Kurt nor Jen look ready, prepared for this next step. For what this means.
“Tell me about yourself,” Kurt says after a silent moment, leaning back stiffly in his chair.
“Well, I’m twenty-one and I’m in nursing school. I worked in a nursing home as a CNA for five years and…”
“Janessa,” Kurt cuts her off and she stops, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest because what if she said something wrong already, what if Kurt doesn’t want her, what if she’s not what they’re looking for? But then he gives her a slight smile, as if he can sense what she’s feeling. “I read your resume. Tell us about you.”
“Oh, um,” Janessa starts, wrings her hands together under the table. She generally considers herself a confident person and isn’t usually caught this off guard, but there’s something in the way Kurt’s looking at her, like he’s just as unsure as she is that makes her want this, makes her want to help him. To help this family, however she can. She doesn’t want to screw this up.
“It’s just, this is new for me,” Kurt says before she can continue. “I’ve never thought… never imagined I would have to be doing something like this and I just want to make sure that we find the best fit for Blaine.”
Jen squeezes Kurt’s hand.
“Of course,” Janessa says, nodding. She wants to take a sip of her coffee to ease the tension, to give her a moment to collect her thoughts but her hands have started shaking and she doesn’t want Kurt to see how nervous she is. Wants to seem calm and collected, like the perfect person for them to welcome into their life. “About me. Well, I’m in nursing school but I’ve always loved the arts. I paint, or try to paint, and I’ve been trying to sell some jewelry I’ve made on Etsy, but I’m still waiting for my big break through.”
She gives a shaky laugh and Jen smiles at her encouragingly.
“Um, I have three younger siblings. My brother has Down’s Syndrome and I spent a lot of time taking care of him. He means the world to me, and he might be the feistiest person you’d ever meet.”
“What’s his name?” Jen asks, looking genuinely interested. Janessa feels herself relaxing, slightly, just enough to lean back a little in her chair. “Andrew. He’s sixteen now. He’s the one who pushed me to go into nursing. He really helped me want to make a difference in people’s lives.”
Kurt nods, his face softening as he considers her. “So what made you decide to apply for this position? Why do you want to work with Blaine?”
Janessa takes in a deep breath, knows this is the important part. This is what decides it.
“Honestly, I think this would be great experience. I’ve always been interested in the brain and in, um, neurotrauma.” She doesn’t miss the way Kurt flinches slightly at the word, the way he looks down at his coffee, eyes hard. She swallows and continues. “But mostly, when I read your story, I felt touched. I have a boyfriend that I love more than anything and if something ever happened to him… I don’t know what I’d do. Reading about what happened, about what you and Blaine are going through, it made me want to help, in any way that I can.”
“Thank you, Janessa,” Jen says, reaches across the table to touch Janessa’s arm with a smile. “You seem very kind.”
She doesn’t know how to take this, the kind smile on Jen’s face, the way Kurt is still staring into his coffee. This family is damaged, hurt and struggling, she can see that and maybe it’s too much to ask , to be included, maybe it’s too much for them right now, with so many changes in their lives but-
“Please,” she says suddenly, trying to catch Kurt’s gaze. “I haven’t even met Blaine yet and he’s all I’ve been able to think about for days. I looked up your story on the news and it just makes me so angry what those people did. It sort of makes me want to put on spandex and hunt them down and go all vigilante on their sorry asses but I know I can’t, as much as I want to and so I want to help in whatever way I can and wow, I’ve probably just said too much.”
Janessa bites her lip, brushes her hair back behind her ear and stares at her hands.
“Do you want to?” Kurt’s voice draws her attention back up and she blinks. “Meet him, I mean?”
Kurt smiles gently and there’s something in his eyes that Janessa hasn’t seen yet. Hope, maybe?
“Yes, I would love to,” she replies quickly and her heart hammers even faster, racing anxiously in her chest. Kurt and Jen share a quick look before standing.
“He’s upstairs,” Kurt says, motions for her to follow him.
There’s a tired slump in his shoulders, a weight in his step and Janessa aches, has barely known him for half an hour and already feels connected to him, wants to lift his burden in any way she possibly can. She’s nervous, so, so nervous about meeting Blaine, about saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing. Nervous that maybe she can’t help, that she won’t be able to make a difference, but that makes her all the more determined. Determined to help, to make a difference, no matter how small, in this couple’s life.
They take an elevator up two floors, go down a hallway and turn once and then they’re pausing, in front of a wooden door decorated with pictures of smiley faces that look like they were drawn by elementary schoolers.
“Blaine’s a music teacher,” Kurt explains when he sees Janessa looking and she can’t help the pang that shoots through her at Kurt’s use of present tense. “His students drew these.”
And then he opens the door, lets Jen enter before him, ushers Janessa through. It’s cozy inside, the room a warm tan with wood paneling and soft lighting. Sunlight streams through partially open blinds and there’s a duffle bag in the corner, a small stack of papers and books that make it look homey, like people spend a lot of time in the room.
“Hey sweetie,” Jennifer is saying, stepping close to the bed and Janessa watches as she leans to kiss Blaine’s forehead. His eyes are blinking like he just woke up, slow and hazy. She’s seen pictures of him, but they were from before, smiling, healthy pictures of Blaine sitting under a tree, Blaine holding hands with Kurt at Christmas time. This boy… he looks completely different. His eyes look tired, framed by dark shadows, his cheeks sunken, his skin pale like he hasn’t seen the sun in a long time. His lips are parted, the left side drooping a little lower than the right and his hair is clipped short, red scars winding across the side of his head, just above his ear.
“We’ve brought someone to meet you.” Jen sits in the seat beside Blaine, her hand stroking across his arm and Blaine’s eyes trace across the room, his head turning slightly until it lands on them. Kurt smiles, honestly just lights up when he looks at Blaine, and he rests his hand on Janessa’s shoulder, guides her forward.
“Blaine, this is Janessa. She might be helping out when you come home,” Kurt explains, motioning to Janessa. Her mouth feels dry but she swallows and smiles, nods her head towards Blaine.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” she says, taking a step forward and telling herself to stop being nervous. Blaine is just a person, a person who had something really horrible happen to him, who needs some extra help, but is still himself. Still a person who deserves everything anyone else does.
Blaine’s eyes move over her face, like he’s examining her. His expression doesn’t change, stays almost disconcertingly neutral, but his fingers twitch, his hand lifting a few inches above the bed, almost like he wants to shake her hand. So Janessa reaches out, lets her hand wrap around Blaine’s. His skin is warm, soft like someone has recently put lotion on it and she gives his hand a small shake, her smile growing genuine when he squeezes back.
She lets go, watches as Kurt brushes a piece of lint from Blaine’s shoulder, sees the careful and tender way he is around him, sees the way his eyes glimmer when he looks at Blaine, sees how Blaine keeps glancing up at Kurt, nothing but trust in his face, and she knows. This is love. This is what she wants to help preserve, no matter what.
Something stirs deep inside her and she clears her throat, licks her lips and smiles honestly at Blaine.
“Kurt was just telling me that you teach music,” she says, Blaine’s eyes flickering back from Kurt to her. “My best friend and I have a band. We call ourselves the Damned Damsels.” She lets out a laugh that’s more nervous than anything but Blaine is watching her with what looks like interest so she continues. “She thinks we’re amazing but really we kind of suck. It’s probably because I can only play the tambourine and she can only play the harmonica but we work it.”
Kurt chuckles and Janessa ducks her head a little.
“I bet, if this works out, that you could give me a tip or two. Or, if you have some sort of vendetta against tambourines we could do whatever you want to do. We can paint pictures or go to the park or sit around all day in our pajamas, that’s generally my favorite thing to do.”
Blaine shifts his shoulders a little, makes a tiny noise in his throat and lifts his pointer finger, glancing up at Kurt in an almost expectant way.
“That means yes,” Kurt explains, smiling at Janessa. “One finger means yes and two means no.”
“Awesome,” Janessa says, mind already racing with everything she could do with Blaine. “We could do some finger painting, maybe? I have lots of art supplies. Stickers, glitter, feathers. You look like someone who appreciates the expertise of incorporating feathers into their art. Actually you probably know better and will completely show me up. We’ll scratch the feathers then and stick with the glitter and I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
Janessa looks up at an amused Kurt, a smile tugging at his lips and she turns back to Blaine, leaning in close and lowering her voice just slightly.
“Sorry, I talk a lot when I’m nervous. Especially when I’m around someone as hot as hubby here,” she says, nodding towards Kurt and Blaine laughs. It’s choppy and quiet but it’s a real laugh and Kurt’s eyes snap wide, face an expression of surprise.
“Well you are pretty hot,” Janessa says to Kurt with a shrug, feeling lighter than she has all day and she knows that she could get along with Blaine, already finds herself wanting to stay and work with him, to put a smile back on his face. Back on both their faces.
Blaine is lifting his finger in a way that Janessa imagines he’s agreeing with her and Kurt shoots him a look that she can see him using before, maybe when they would playfully argue or Kurt would catch Blaine checking him out in public. It makes her laugh and Blaine lifts his hand a few inches towards Kurt, who threads their fingers together. Blaine lifts the hand so it drifts towards his chest and Kurt smiles, leans to kiss his forehead.
Jen stands suddenly, gives Blaine’s hand a squeeze before turning to Kurt. “I’m going to grab some more coffee, give you guys a few moments to talk things over?”
Kurt nods at her gratefully.
“It was so nice to meet you, Janessa. I would love for you to work with my son,” Jen says, drawing Janessa in for a quick hug before turning and closing the door quietly behind her. Blaine’s still watching her, his eyes blinking and Janessa thinks he looks a little tired, but he’s still squeezing Kurt’s hand, still clinging and observing.
Kurt motions to the now empty chair, before sitting in his own chair. Janessa takes a timid seat, trying to keep the smile on her face.
“So I won’t be making a final decision today, I need to talk things over with Blaine and his family first, but if you are still interested in working with us, we would like to go over a few things?”
“Of course,” Janessa says, making sure to nod at both Kurt and Blaine because she can see they’re in this together. They’re in everything together.
“So we just bought a new house, it’s has a ramp and we’ve been working on making it fully handicap accessible,” Kurt explains and his voice has a new tone to it, like he’s trying to take control but he’s still uncomfortable, still unsure. “You’d be doing a lot of running around, taking Blaine to therapy. We’ve been trying to work out a schedule and it looks like he’ll be coming here four days a week. He’ll have things that we’ll need you to work on at home too.”
“Totally,” Janessa nods, and she can see Kurt shift, clutch Blaine’s hand a little tighter.
“Uh, Blaine will need help with all of his, um, cares, so you’ll have to be comfortable with helping him takes baths and use the bathroom and get dressed and everything.”
“Completely comfortable,” Janessa says, as warmly as she can, can see the slightly embarrassed tinge to Blaine’s cheeks, the way he’s looking at his lap. “Whatever Blaine needs, I’ll be there. I’m fun to boss around, I promise.” She takes a chance, reaches out and lightly touches Blaine’s arm and he looks up at her, eyes clouded but a tiny smile lifting at his lips.
“Blaine, do you want to show her your feeding tube?” Kurt asks gently and Blaine lets his fingers fumble with the hem of his shirt, Kurt waiting patiently as he tries to get a grip, only reaching forward when Blaine glances up at him, helping him to hook his fingers under the material and lift his shirt up to his ribs, exposing the little white button. “He’ll get his meals and meds this way, so you’ll need to be comfortable with this too.”
“Of course,” Janessa tries to reassure because she really is comfortable with doing anything for them, there’s not much that could gross her out or scare her off but she can see how new and frightening this is, for both Kurt and Blaine, can see how much they’re struggling to keep control and how important this is, making sure everything goes well. “I’m fine with doing anything you need me to do, both of you. Honestly. I want to be here for you guys and to make life maybe a little bit easier. So if you need to get groceries or run to appointments or clean bathrooms or kill bees, I’ll totally do it. I’m comfortable with personal cares and medical cares, and anything else you could possibly need me to do.”
Kurt nods, a range of emotions flashing across his face and Blaine’s started blinking tiredly, probably starting losing interest as sleep creeps nearer, and Kurt strokes his thumb over Blaine’s hand soothingly.
“Thank you,” Kurt says after a short moment, his voice a little quieter. “This meeting has actually gone much better than I expected.”
“Really?” Janessa asks, feels touched. Blaine’s eyes have slipped closed now, like he’s given up the fight to keep them open and Kurt smiles at him, a sad sort of smile.
“The first person we interviewed didn’t realize that we were gay and took one look at us and left. That was fun.”
Janessa gapes, anger starting to bubble in her veins because so far Kurt and Blaine have probably been the sweetest people she’s ever met and she can’t imagine someone just leaving like that. “Kurt, I’m so sorry. What a bitch.”
Kurt laughs, a dry laugh, looks up at Janessa. “It’s just been so hard, you know? I’ve started to forget that there are decent people around. That someone might actually want to help us, not hurt us and…” Kurt sucks in a deep breath, his eyes misting and Janessa wishes there was something she could do, something that could take away the hurt that’s so obvious in Kurt when he lets his guard done. “And I couldn’t stand it if someone hurt Blaine again. I really couldn’t.”
Hot tears prick behind Janessa’s own eyes but she swallows them down, reaches across to touch Kurt’s forearm gently.
“I want to help, Kurt. I know I’m practically a stranger, but I really want to help you keep Blaine safe. I want to help him, and you, because I can already tell you deserve it.”
Kurt sniffs, lifts his hand to wipe at his eyes, gives a shaky laugh. “Well, I’ve never broken down like this in front of a stranger so I think you might already have an in.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” Janessa says with a wink just as Blaine gives a tiny snuffle and a sigh, already deep asleep.
“He had a long day,” Kurt murmurs, collecting himself, drawing his shoulders up and returning to the poise of the Kurt she first met. “They’ve, um, been working on standing so that it’s easier to help him transfer. It’s good but I know it wears him out.”
“It sounds like he’s been working hard.” She keeps her voice soft, glancing at Blaine and smiling at how peaceful he looks when he’s sleeping.
“He has, he’s been amazing,” Kurt looks at her and she can see how much he means it, how proud he is of Blaine. “He’s coming home next week and I took the week off of work to help get him settled. I’d love for you to come by sometime next week if you can, I could show you the house and we could go over a few more things?”
“That would be perfect.”
“Great,” Kurt smiles and starts to stand, hesitates. “So, um, can I give you a hug?”
Janessa stands, something warm spreading through her and she wraps her arms around Kurt’s waist, her head barely coming up to his shoulder but it’s nice. He’s warm and gives her a squeeze and she can hear his breath catching in his throat.
“Thank you so much, Janessa. For the first time I feel like something might be starting to go right.”
She lets her eyes flutter shut, breathes him in and squeezes back before letting go.
“I’d love to help things try and stay right,” she whispers and for the first time she feels like she’s actually doing something with her life, like she could make a difference and really help someone. “Tell Blaine I really enjoyed meeting him?”
“Of course,” Kurt says, glancing back at Blaine. “He liked you.”
“I look forward to seeing both of you again,” Janessa says, reaching forward to give Kurt a firm handshake and he laughs and Janessa wonders how it’s possible for this couple to already affect her so much.
She knows she’s here to stay.
Laura Brooks
June 19th, 2018
The last day, they have a party. Blaine’s been in the unit for over a month, has silently charmed his way into the hearts of all the nurses and no one wants to see him go. Laura knows she’s not supposed to choose favorites, that all her patients are equally important, but she can’t really help it. She’s going to miss Blaine, a lot.
He’s leaving the next day and she can tell he’s anxious to leave the hospital, knows that no one really likes to be here for so long. They have the party in the lounge, hang balloons from the ceiling and Blaine smiles widely, Kurt sitting next to him and clutching his hand tight. The room is busy, so many nurses and therapists and aids coming to say goodbye, everyone ready with shining eyes and hugs.
“We’re going to miss you,” Laura says, tries to keep the wobble out of her voice, blinks back the tears as she leans down to wrap her arms around Blaine, feels him returning the hug. “I won’t have anyone to read books with anymore.”
She pulls away, smiles tearfully down at Blaine before turning to wrap Kurt in an equally tight hug, is so happy for both of them.
“You guys are going to do great,” she says, sniffs and laughs, embarrassed. Blaine’s become such a constant, always there to smile at the nurses, to listen when she would read to him, pucker his lips adorably when she would apply the chapstick Kurt had brought for him. “You have to promise to come visit sometime.”
“Of course we will,” Kurt assures, reaches forward to squeeze her shoulder. “You have all been so wonderful to us, we’ll definitely come visit.”
(And they do, on the one year anniversary of Blaine’s discharge, Blaine walking in with his walker, Kurt’s hand on his back, his voice crisp and clear as he greets everyone and there isn’t a dry eye on the unit. After having so many patients, so many goodbyes and losses, to see someone getting better, to see everything going right, it’s truly amazing.)
“Thank you,” Laura says, kisses Blaine’s cheek, and says goodbye.
Robert Anderson
December 5th, 2018
“Can you get that?” Robert shouts when the house phone rings, leaning back in his chair to make his voice carry further. He’s holed himself up in his study for the day, has what feels like a hundred accounts to audit, and very little time to do it.
But the phone keeps ringing and Robert wonders if Jen’s gone out, or maybe she’s napping. Whatever the reason, he gets up with a grumble, jogs out to the living room to grab the phone on its last ring before the answering machine picks it up.
“Anderson’s,” Robert answers gruffly, glancing across the room. It’s nearly five, he supposes he can afford a few moments of a break.
There’s only breathing on the other line, a clicking noise and Robert sighs, about to hang up when a tiny voice makes it through, a muttered, “dad?”
Robert blinks, hand tightening on the handset. “Blaine?”
“Hi.” The word is quiet, breathy and stilted but Robert sinks onto the couch anyways, closes his eyes because it’s Blaine, his son, and he’s…
“You’re talking,” Robert says dumbly, can’t really think of anything else to say because it’s been months since he’s heard his son’s voice, since he thought he might never hear Blaine’s voice again.
“Pr… prac,” Blaine starts, falters, and Robert can hear quiet encouraging, knows Kurt must be with him. “Pr…acticing,” Blaine manages and Robert can almost see the smile on his face, the way he’s probably looking at Kurt right now, that hesitant look for approval he so often gets.
“You sound great, Blaine. I…” Robert draws in a deep breath. “You’ve been holding out on us.”
There’s a rustling sound, like Blaine’s dropped the phone and is scrambling to pick it back up and Robert waits patiently, no longer cares about how long this call takes. He hasn’t always been patient with Blaine, hasn’t been as understanding of a father as he could have been, but he’s determined to make up for that now, to always be there when Blaine needs him.
“Wa…anted, uh… surprise,” Blaine mumbles, voice no longer very confident and Robert can tell how much effort this is taking, knows Blaine probably spent all day, all week even, planning this phone call.
“Well, I’m surprised,” Robert says, lets out a shaky laugh. “Such a good surprise.”
A hesitant pause, Robert wonders if he should say something, what there is to say.
“How… you, um,” Blaine grunts in frustration, the gentle sounds of Kurt in the background again.
“How am I?” Robert tries, hears Blaine give a small hum in assent. “I’m good. I’m…”
I’m sorry, I love you, I wish I could take everything away and make it all okay again.
“I’m so proud of you.”
A pause, then a whispered, “thanks.”
“You sound good, Blaine. I… I can’t believe you’re calling.”
“Kur… um, he to…old me… to.”
“You tell him thank you from me, okay?”
A noise that sounds like a small laugh comes through the phone and Robert smiles, can’t help himself.
“kay,” Blaine says. He can hear a tired note in Blaine’s voice, wonders how much work just this phone call has been for him.
“I love you, Blaine.” Robert presses the phone closer, like he can somehow bring Blaine closer by doing so.
“Love you,” Blaine returns and Robert has to bite his lip, thinks he can count on one hand the number of times Blaine has said those words since he came out.
“It’s so good to hear your voice,” Robert says, doesn’t really trust himself to say anything else. “Make sure to call again soon, okay son?”
“I… will,” Blaine promises. “Bye.”
“Bye, Blaine,” Robert whispers, holds the phone to his ear even after Blaine hangs up, scrubs his hand across his face. His heart is beating too fast in his chest, his fingers ache from how tightly he’s gripping the phone and despite everything, he smiles.
Blaine’s getting better.
Sarah Hudson
December 25th, 2018
Sarah presses her face to the glass, eyes wide as saucers as she stares out the window. She’s never been to New York before, has never really been outside of Ohio and she’s never seen so many lights before. She can see tall buildings in the far distance, snow drifting and catching the headlights like thousands of twinkling Christmas lights and to her it seems like magic. Like she got off the plane into a completely different world and she wonders if she hasn’t seen her uncles in so long because they’re stuck in this magical place.
“Sarah, honey, this is a rental remember? Don’t get the glass dirty.” Mel’s voice grabs her attention, a hand on her shoulder pulling her back and she grunts because her mom always ruins her fun. So she turns her attention to bouncing on the seat excitedly, looking between Mel and Finn.
“How much longer?”
“A little bit, be patient,” Finn says and Sarah crosses her arms, slouching in her seat because she’s just so excited and now dad has to come and ruin her fun too.
“It’s been awhile since you’ve seen your uncles, isn’t it?” Carole asks from the front seat, turning around to smile at Sarah and she nods, exclaims “forever!”
Carole chuckles, reaches back to ruffle her hair and Sarah giggles.
“Do you think Uncle Kurt will make cookies with me again?” She remembers the last time she saw her uncles, Kurt let her stir the dough and they both took turns sneaking some when her mom wasn’t looking.
“I think I remember Uncle Kurt telling me he’s been dying for someone to help him make some sugar cookies,” Carole says, winking at her and she bounces again, clapping her hands together.
“Can we decorate them?”
“I’m sure Uncle Kurt would love to decorate them with you,” Mel says, giving Sarah’s shoulder a quick squeeze. Sarah wiggles because she’s been waiting for so long for this trip and now there’s lights and cookies and it all seems like a dream come true and she’s decided she loves her uncles.
“Uncle Blaine gave me a piggy back ride once!” she declares after a moment, looking to her mom and dad expectantly. “If I ask nice will he give me one this time?”
There’s silence for a moment and both Finn and Mel’s faces have turned that serious expression they do when they talk about grown up things.
“Remember what we talked about, sweetie?” Mel says, brushing her hands through Sarah’s hair. “About Uncle Blaine?”
Sarah nods, biting her lip and looking at her lap and hoping that she didn’t just do something wrong. “That Uncle Blaine got hurt.”
“Uh huh,” Mel continues in that soft mom-voice she uses when Sarah knows something is serious. “You need to remember, okay? He can’t do as many things as he used to do, so you need to be extra nice to him.”
Sarah gives another serious nod because she is going to be nice to Uncle Blaine, she just doesn’t understand. “But he hurt his head, not his arms.”
Carole reaches back to take Sarah’s hand, giving a little squeeze. “Hurting his head hurt him all over, honey.”
“Uncle Blaine is going to be different from what you remember,” Finn explains after her Grandma, and Sarah doesn’t like that they’re all using their grown up voices with her but she’s trying really hard to understand because she likes Uncle Blaine and wants to have fun with him. “He was hurt really badly and you need to be extra good around him.”
“I will,” Sarah promises, looking up at her parents with wide eyes. “I’ll be extra good.”
And she’s good for the rest of the car ride, patiently looks out the window and only squeals a little bit when they finally, finally, pull into the driveway.
“Whoa,” Sarah says when they get out of the car, holding onto her mom’s hand so she doesn’t slip on any ice. The house is average looking, not any more exciting than her house back at home, but there’s a long wooden ramp leading up to the front door, like a slide that’s not quite steep enough. She thinks it looks fun.
A mix of excitement and nervousness grows inside when they ring the front door because she hasn’t seen her uncles since Easter and she’s always a little bit anxious seeing people for the first time. But then Kurt is answering the door and hugging everyone and inviting them in and his eyes widen when he sees her and he scoops her up, twirling her in his arms.
“Oh my beautiful niece, it’s been too long,” he says, pressing kisses to her cheek and she giggles, shaking her head because that’s sort of gross.
“Hi Uncle Kurt,” she says when he stops spinning her, a wide smile on her face and he holds her in a tight hug before plopping her back on the ground.
“You’re getting so tall, I can’t believe it! How old are you now, twenty?”
Sarah giggles into her hands because Uncle Kurt is so weird. “I’m five silly!”
“Nearly twenty then,” Kurt says, winking at her dad for some reason. “Did you have a good flight?” She nods, letting her mom maneuver her around to take of her winter coat.
“They gave me cookies!” she exclaims and Kurt raises his eyebrows and smiles because everyone loves cookies.
“I suppose you wouldn’t be interested in making cookies with me then, hmm?” he teases and she nods her head vigorously.
“Please can we make cookies?” she pleads and Kurt laughs, leaning down to plant a kiss on her head and why does everyone insist on kissing her all the time?
“Of course we can. Tomorrow, alright?” She nods again and her mom takes her hand, giving it a small squeeze in the way that Sarah knows is supposed to remind her to stay calm and be good. Kurt’s motioning for them all to come in, leading them passed the entrance and the grownups are all talking but Sarah isn’t really paying attention, mesmerized by the tinsel and wreaths decorating the house, the smell of something delicious cooking and the wrapped presents under the tiny artificial tree.
But then they’re in the living room and the conversation has grown quieter and Sarah looks up to see Uncle Blaine on the couch, smiling at them. She doesn’t really know why but she finds herself hiding behind Mel as everyone greets him, leaning in for hugs or handshakes. Blaine’s greeting them softly and Sarah can’t really hear what he’s saying but Carole is telling him how good it is to hear his voice again and Finn is clapping him on the back and everyone seems really happy and Sarah is just starting to feel confused.
“Sarah, don’t you want to say hi to Uncle Blaine?” Finn asks her and she tucks herself further behind her mother’s legs, only peeking her head out.
“Hi,” Blaine says, ducking his head a little and lifting his hand to wave at her. She waves back but doesn’t move forward, staying firmly behind Mel. She knew Uncle Blaine had been hurt, she remembers when her dad left for a week to come out and help, remembers them explaining things to her with tears in their eyes but she hadn’t really understood that it was more than when she sprained her wrist riding her bike, more than just a scraped knee that could be easily fixed.
Uncle Blaine looks different, in a way she can’t really explain, his smile uneven and his hair a little too long and he’s sitting stiffly, like he’s uncomfortable and there’s a wheelchair next to the couch, like the one Timmy in her class has but bigger and she didn’t know he needed one of those. Kurt’s taken a seat on the arm of the chair, his hand on Blaine’s shoulder and Sarah buries her face into her mom’s leg because this is so different than she imagined and she really wanted a piggy back ride and to play with her uncles and now everyone is acting so quiet and strange.
“Are you hungry, Sarah?” Kurt asks and she nods.
“We’ve had a long day,” Mel explains and she can hear people moving around, peeks out from behind her mom.
“Well, I’ve got dinner mostly ready, it’ll just be about half an hour and we can eat, okay?” Everyone agrees that dinner sounds perfect, it is almost seven, and with a kiss to Blaine’s head, Kurt leaves for the kitchen, followed by Carole and Mel. Burt sits on the couch beside Blaine and Finn stays back to usher Sarah to the bathroom. He makes sure she thoroughly washes and dries her hands after she goes potty before squatting down to her level.
“Hey cupcake, can I ask you a question before we go back out?”
Sarah nods, her lower lip already beginning to jut out because this is the voice her dad uses when he wants to talk about something serious.
“Why didn’t you say hi to Uncle Blaine?”
“I don’t know,” Sarah answers softly, staring down at her feet. Finn reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Are you scared?” he asks, and Sarah pauses, thinks about it for a minute, before shaking her head.
“Are you nervous?”
She thinks again, bites her lip and nods.
“Why are you nervous? Do you think you’re going to hurt him?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, nodding at the ground. “He’s different.”
“I know, he seems different now but he’s still your Uncle Blaine. You just have to be extra nice and gentle to him. Think you can do that?”
“Uh huh.” She looks up at her dad, and he pulls her in for a quick hug.
“You don’t have to be nervous around him, he’s been looking forward to seeing you. Uncle Kurt told me.”
“I’ll be good,” she says when her dad lets go and he stands back up, smiles down at her.
“Cool.” He takes her hand and leads her from the bathroom.
The kitchen is bustling with activity and Finn is roped into helping set the table. Sarah gets her pink backpack from where her mom put it by the front door, skips back to the living room. She still hesitates when she sees Blaine, glances between him and Burt on the couch.
“You wanna come sit?” Burt asks, patting the couch beside him. Sarah clambers up beside him, Burt giving her shoulder a pat and Blaine smiling at her. She’s nervous again even though her dad said not to be, but she can’t really help it. She’s not sure what she should say or do and she doesn’t want to get in trouble for saying something wrong and everyone is making noise in the kitchen but it’s so silent in here.
“Did… um,” Blaine starts, his voice cracking little and he swallows, his cheeks turning red and Sarah wonders if maybe he’s nervous too. But that would be silly because grownups don’t get nervous. “Your flight… okay?”
Sarah wiggles a little, glances up at Burt because she’s sort of confused.
“Yeah, it was Sarah’s first flight, wasn’t it?” Burt answers, looking down to Sarah and she nods proudly.
“Yeah! It was scary when it got bumpy though,” Sarah says, actually looking at Blaine this time and he nods seriously.
“There was a lot of turbulence,” Burt explains and Sarah tries to repeat the word but it comes out sounding more like “tub’lance.”
“Hey Sarah, why don’t you show Uncle Blaine your wing sticker?” Burt asks, giving Sarah’s shoulder a nudge.
“Oh!” She digs in her backpack before finding the right sticker, gold and glossy and pretty much perfect. Burt gives her a tiny shove, and she hesitates for only a moment before scooting across the couch until she’s right next to Blaine.
“Look, Uncle Blaine!” She holds the sticker up so he can see, moving it so that it can catch the light and shine. “The pilot gave it to me.”
“Wow,” Blaine says with a smile, lifting his hand to touch it gently. “It’s pr…etty.”
Sarah looks up at Blaine, tilts her head and considers him.
“Can I hold your hand?”
“Course.” Blaine smiles at her, reaches to take her hand in his much bigger one. His fingers are cold and she holds them carefully in her hand.
“Daddy says I need to be gentle.”
Blaine lets out a small laugh, eyes crinkling as he smiles.
“I’m tough,” he says, bumping against her softly. “I can… take it.”
She grips his hand a little harder, scoots herself a little closer and smiles widely up at him. Dad was right, she realizes, there’s no reason to be nervous of Uncle Blaine. He looks just as excited to see her as he always does.
“I’m going to go see if they need help with dinner, do you two need anything?” Burt asks, standing abruptly and gently touching Sarah’s shoulder and looking really happy about something. She shakes her head because she mostly just wants her grandpa to leave; she can see him any day and she has things to show Uncle Blaine, he should know that.
“I have lots more stickers,” Sarah announces proudly, pulling her backpack onto her lap. “Do you want to see them?”
“I’d… love too,” Blaine says and she struggles to open the backpack one handed before Blaine lets go of her hand so she can successfully unzip it. She pulls it open and holds it up so Blaine can see inside.
“Wow,” he says, sounding impressed, as he should be. “That’s, um, a lot of… of stickers.”
“I know,” Sarah says seriously because her stickers are a serious thing. “I have a collection.”
She starts sorting through the stickers and pulling out her favorites, setting them carefully on Blaine’s leg, explaining each one. Blaine listens intently, occasionally asking her a question about them and sometimes she can’t really understand him because his voice is sort of funny now, but she’s glad that someone finally appreciates her sticker collection. They sort them by color, spreading them across both Blaine and Sarah’s lap and Blaine keeps knocking them onto the floor and she can’t stop giggling.
“Do you want one?” she asks after a little while, looking up at Uncle Blaine.
“I… love one,” he says with a smile and she bounces a little, turns back to examine the stickers closely, looking for the perfect one. It takes her a moment to settle on a green dinosaur with purple spots, holding it up proudly and waiting for Blaine’s nod of approval. Biting her lip, she concentrates on peeling off the back before twisting as much as she can, considering and placing the sticker on the collar of Blaine’s shirt.
“There!” she exclaims happily and Blaine reaches up to pat the sticker down.
“P… perfect,” Blaine smiles and motions to the stickers. “You?”
Sarah picks out a sticker for herself, a pink sparkly flower, peels off the back and tells Blaine to stick it to her cheek, which he does obediently. She claps excitedly when Kurt enters the room, plops himself down beside Sarah, squishing her between the two of them.
“What are you guys up to?” he asks and Sarah frowns at him because is he blind?
“I’m showing Uncle Blaine my stickers!” she proclaims, gesturing towards the ones still spread out on their laps. “I gave him one, see.”
“Wow, a dinosaur.” Kurt reaches to smooth his finger over the sticker on Blaine’s collar, who’s turned to show it to him.
“Do you want one too?” Sarah asks because she has another green dinosaur and it would make sense if they had the same one.
“That would be great, Sarah,” Kurt says, leaning in to kiss the top of her head. She squirms under him before digging out the other sticker, patting it onto his shirt.
“There. Now you match because you love each other.” Sarah says it like it’s a fact because it is. Sometimes her mom wears her dad’s clothes in the morning so they match and she knows it’s because they’re married and love each other.
“We do,” Kurt says, standing and leaning to kiss the edge of Blaine’s lips and Sarah makes a face because why do grownups always want to do that in front of her? “And now you need to go wash your hands because it’s time for dinner.”
Sarah quickly gathers her stickers up, putting them back in her backpack because she’s starving, stands to the side as Kurt helps Blaine get into his wheelchair.
“Can I ride too?” she asks because she sat in Timmy’s wheelchair once and it was really fun. Kurt looks down at Blaine hesitantly who nods and pats his legs. Sarah lets Kurt hoist her onto Blaine’s lap, Blaine wrapping his arms around her waist and she squeals when Kurt starts to push them into the kitchen.
“I love you Uncle Blaine,” Sarah says when she’s finished laughing, turning in Blaine’s lap to wrap her arms around his neck and press a kiss to his cheek.
“You too,” he whispers back, holding her tighter and resting his cheek on the top of her head.
-
The next morning Sarah stirs awake and doesn’t know where she is. She’s squished between two bodies, an arm draped over her and at first she thinks she must have fallen asleep in her parents’ bed. But she doesn’t remember have a bad dream or being scared and her parents wouldn’t let her sleep with them otherwise.
So she peeks one eye open and sees a full head of curly hair, giggles and blows away a strand that’s by her lips. Uncle Blaine gives a wide yawn and stirs, smacks his lips together and blinks his eyes open. Sarah giggles again because he looks sort of silly with his hair all messed up and a goofy grin on his face. He reaches up to boop her nose, his fingers still painted an array of pink and purple and green, glitter and stickers still stuck to his pajamas.
There are blankets and pillows all around them, the soft glow of Christmas lights illuminating the room. They’d stayed up way past her normal bedtime building a blanket fort, Kurt and her gathering up as many blankets and pillows as they could find, Blaine watching from his comfortable pillow throne. Blaine had let her paint his nails and draw flowers on his arms with markers (at least until Kurt had told her that she wasn’t allowed to draw on Uncle Blaine because he couldn’t run away) and they’d made glitter cards out of Uncle Blaine’s art supplies and Kurt had braided her hair in a million little braids and her uncles are way cooler than her parents.
They’d fallen asleep close to midnight, wrapped up under a mountain of blankets in their fort and Kurt had left the lights on the Christmas tree on, Sarah snuggling in between them and kissing each of their foreheads before falling asleep and she’s pretty sure this has actually been the best Christmas ever.
Until now, when Kurt rolls over, probably reaching for Blaine, squishing Sarah underneath him. She squeals and squirms out from under him, pressed against Uncle Blaine who’s started laughing. Kurt starts awake, surprised, his mouth curling into a smile when he looks at Sarah and Blaine.
“Well I didn’t know I was going to wake up next to such a beautiful princess,” he says, leaning forward to plant a sloppy kiss on her forehead.
“Eww,” Sarah protests and Kurt gets a look on his face that Sarah doesn’t like before he jumps in, starts stickling her sides. She screams and tries to run away, backs up over Blaine and collapses across his stomach.
“Save me ,Uncle Blaine!” she shrieks and Blaine’s arms are covering her, providing protection from Kurt who’s towering over them, leaning in and…
There’s a smacking noise and all of a sudden Sarah realizes they’re kissing and what is it with grownups and kissing, seriously? She squirms out from between them, making disgusted noises and Kurt is laughing, his arms wrapping around Blaine as he snuggles into his side, reaches one hand out to tuck a tiny braid behind Sarah’s ear.
“Morning,” Uncle Blaine whispers and Sarah makes a face, crosses her arms pointedly.
“Can we have pancakes for breakfast?” she asks, hoping to get her uncles to stop kissing each other and start doing something else instead. Something more fun and tasty, preferably.
“Love pancakes,” Blaine says in agreement, looking at Kurt expectantly. Kurt sighs dramatically before sitting up, helping Blaine to sit up, propping some pillows against the couch that he can lean against.
“Pancakes it is.”
And so Sarah decides that her uncles are probably the coolest people ever, no matter what.
part b