Doula issues...pt III
Has anyone ever run across a rude doula?? I seem to have. I chose her because in the beginning, she seemed sweet, so I decided to give her a chance and see what she was like to work with.
We had our first visit at my home with her and her student doula (whos also a lactation consultant) about 3 weeks ago. My MIL decided she wanted to sit in as well, so it was her, her shadow, my MIL, and my hubby and me. First, she was very pushy about the fact that we have cats (6) and was saying that we absolutely HAVE to get rid of the cats, etc, and really put on a lot of pressure there. Weird, because I know a lot of growing families who have more than 2 cats, as well as large dogs, and their doctors and vets both say that it's no biggie. I felt attacked in my own house between her and my MIL and the only person I had to stand up for me was my husband (kudos for him, b/c he never does it.).
After the visit, she sent me
Hi again!
Have you signed up for any classes after all? What is the situation with the cats? Maybe we can meet again on Sunday the 27th if you are available. I think it might be best if it's just you and your husband at this visit. I really want to hear from you about what it is that you want. Also because of the cat odors, I would prefer that it take place somewhere other than your apartment. Maybe a Starbucks or some place similar. Just let me know what works for you. If you do go into labor before then please don't hesitate to call me and I will head to your place. Remember it is very important that you do not rush to the hospital when you begin having normal contractions, but always go with your gut. If you are worried that your contractions are not normal do whatever you feel is best and head to the ER.
Let me know about the 27th when you get a chance.
Talk to you soon!
WTH do I say to that?? Maybe i'm taking this the wrong way, but I feel like she just told me that my house stinks, cats are bad, and my MIL is irritating. I've been sitting on this email for over a week because I just don't know what to reply. My husband is telling me to break up with her because between him and his mom being in the delivery room with me, i'll have all the support I need. I just really want a non-partial party who knows what to do to be there for me. My last labor was terrible. I was 23 weeks along, it was a surprise labor, I had no preparation, and I went through the entire thing ALL ALONE. I want this labor to be as happy, easy, and...as different from that as possible. I haven't even taken a birth education class yet and i'll be 38 weeks in 2 days. I've only dabbled in Hypnobabies classes, and besides that and reading "The Pregnancy Bible" i've done non labor prep. I feel like an idiot.
On top of everything, my mom told me that she may not be there in the room with me when I give birth, because she's not sure she'll make it in time. She said to just have my MIL there because she was a lot closer. My mom lives 2 hours away from us, and the hospital is another 30-45 minutes from US, so, she'll have a while to drive before she gets there. I was worried about having her in the room with me, but now that she's kinda secceeding her position, it makes me sad.
I'm just lost.
37W4D
We had our first visit at my home with her and her student doula (whos also a lactation consultant) about 3 weeks ago. My MIL decided she wanted to sit in as well, so it was her, her shadow, my MIL, and my hubby and me. First, she was very pushy about the fact that we have cats (6) and was saying that we absolutely HAVE to get rid of the cats, etc, and really put on a lot of pressure there. Weird, because I know a lot of growing families who have more than 2 cats, as well as large dogs, and their doctors and vets both say that it's no biggie. I felt attacked in my own house between her and my MIL and the only person I had to stand up for me was my husband (kudos for him, b/c he never does it.).
After the visit, she sent me
Hi again!
Have you signed up for any classes after all? What is the situation with the cats? Maybe we can meet again on Sunday the 27th if you are available. I think it might be best if it's just you and your husband at this visit. I really want to hear from you about what it is that you want. Also because of the cat odors, I would prefer that it take place somewhere other than your apartment. Maybe a Starbucks or some place similar. Just let me know what works for you. If you do go into labor before then please don't hesitate to call me and I will head to your place. Remember it is very important that you do not rush to the hospital when you begin having normal contractions, but always go with your gut. If you are worried that your contractions are not normal do whatever you feel is best and head to the ER.
Let me know about the 27th when you get a chance.
Talk to you soon!
WTH do I say to that?? Maybe i'm taking this the wrong way, but I feel like she just told me that my house stinks, cats are bad, and my MIL is irritating. I've been sitting on this email for over a week because I just don't know what to reply. My husband is telling me to break up with her because between him and his mom being in the delivery room with me, i'll have all the support I need. I just really want a non-partial party who knows what to do to be there for me. My last labor was terrible. I was 23 weeks along, it was a surprise labor, I had no preparation, and I went through the entire thing ALL ALONE. I want this labor to be as happy, easy, and...as different from that as possible. I haven't even taken a birth education class yet and i'll be 38 weeks in 2 days. I've only dabbled in Hypnobabies classes, and besides that and reading "The Pregnancy Bible" i've done non labor prep. I feel like an idiot.
On top of everything, my mom told me that she may not be there in the room with me when I give birth, because she's not sure she'll make it in time. She said to just have my MIL there because she was a lot closer. My mom lives 2 hours away from us, and the hospital is another 30-45 minutes from US, so, she'll have a while to drive before she gets there. I was worried about having her in the room with me, but now that she's kinda secceeding her position, it makes me sad.
I'm just lost.
37W4D