you teach my heart to speak
[originally posted in tennisslash's break point challenge for walover165]
title: you teach my heart to speak
pairing: roger federer/rafael nadal
rating: pg
disclaimer: never happened.
word count: ~1100
summary: Four things Rafa wanted to say to Roger on their first date, and one thing he did say.
notes: cut text and title from James Morrison - You Make It Real.
i.
They meet at some charity event.
Rafa likes tennis, obviously. It’s no secret how good he used to be when he was younger. He still plays occasionally, but it’s mainly football now. Obviously. Not that he’d change anything. Rafa loves his job, loves playing for Real Madrid, loves being on the Spanish national team, simply loves playing football.
He still watches tennis when he can though. And besides, he’d be blind not to know who Roger Federer was.
Nevertheless, someone introduces them, and then leaves them standing awkwardly, looking at their drinks. They exchange pleasantries, grasping at things to say until someone sees them together and says, oh Rafa, you used to play tennis, right?
And after that, it’s almost like the floodgates open. They stay by each other’s sides for the rest of the night, talking about nothing really. But Rafa feels a rush inside of him that he hasn’t felt for a long time. A feeling he can’t quite describe and can’t entirely blame on the champagne.
They exchange numbers at the end of the night, and they text back and forth for a while. It’s rare that they’re in the same part of the world as each other - Roger’s on the tour for most of the year, and even when he happens to be in Spain, there’s no guarantee that Rafa will be anywhere near him.
But eventually their paths cross and they’re in the same city for a couple of nights, and they meet up in a bar. And they both drink a little too much, and end up in a club, dancing and laughing. They don’t leave until the early hours of the morning, and it’s definitely the most fun Rafa’s had in a long time. And if he leans a little into Roger’s touch and laughs a little too hard at his jokes and looks at his face for a moment too long-
Well, there’s nobody there to see anyway. Nobody but Roger.
Rafa almost asks Roger to come back with him, to stay the night. But he bites his lip and says nothing.
ii.
The first time they go out together, Roger’s wearing... this shirt. Rafa doesn’t know how to describe it when he’s telling Feli about the evening.
‘Like... colours everywhere, no?’ Feli raises an eyebrow, and says nothing. Rafa scowls, because he knows what Fidgiano is thinking. ‘Like you can talk.’
‘I’ll have you know that I have the best fashion sense here.’
‘That really doesn’t say much,’ Fernando says, with a grin.
The problem is, otherwise, the date was perfect. Nice food, brilliant company. Rafa meant to speak up, meant to tell him, but. Roger smiled at him and Rafa just couldn’t help smiling back.
He just didn’t have the heart to tell Roger that his shirt was ugly.
iii.
Rafa prefers things when they’re simple. When he knows what’s going on, what everyone is doing and, more importantly, why.
He learnt a long time ago the world wasn’t that simple.
He’s not naive enough to think that Mirka doesn’t know, despite what Roger says. She’s never said anything, but when she looks at him, her eyes are sad and knowing.
But she doesn’t say anything. And Rafa can’t bring himself to say anything.
They’ve gone out to eat together before and they’ve fucked before. But somehow, today, it’s different. It’s not a fancy restaurant, but hopefully, it’s one they won’t get noticed at.
He pauses at the door, sees Roger sitting there waiting for him.
Even though he’s never been here before, never been in quite this position, Rafa already knows what’s going to happen. They’ll eat and talk and hold hands under the table, and then they’ll go back to a hotel room - it doesn’t matter which one of them it belongs to - and Roger will probably have him pressed against the wall before the door can shut.
Or maybe it will be Rafa holding Roger against the door. The details don’t matter so much.
And the morning after, they’ll pretend it never happened.
He wants to say ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ He should turn away, walk out the door and not look back.
Instead, when Roger leans into kiss him hello, Rafa does not turn his face away.
vi.
There’s lots of things Rafa wishes he could say right now. Something about how he really likes the food, something about what it means for him being here with Roger.
The language barrier is frustrating, but he and Roger make do with Rafa’s limited English, hand gestures and smiles.
v.
When Roger asks Rafa out to dinner, he doesn’t think twice about accepting.
‘Two friends go out for dinner all the time, no?’ he tells the others, who laugh at him.
‘Friends,’ Feli echoes. Rafa refrains from making a below the belt joke about his 18 year old girlfriend, or even about Feli’s friendship with Fernando. That’d just get the two of them defensive at him and pissy with each other. And he’s had enough of that drama in the last few weeks, thank you very much. ‘Friends don’t look at each other like that.’
Rafa really wants to point out the total irony of him saying that.
Roger holds the door open for him and pulls a chair out for him, tells him what’s good to eat here. It’s a little strange, a change from their usual dynamic. It’s not entirely unwelcome, just... different.
And when Rafa realises what it is, it makes him grin. Roger’s acting like he would for a girl. Not that he thinks Rafa’s a girl - or at least, he really hopes he doesn’t - but it’s the same way he’s seen boys acting around a girl they want to impress.
Or, Rafa thinks, the same way Feliciano and Fernando act around each other. Again, not that he’d ever say that to their faces. Although, it would be priceless.
‘What’re you laughing at?’ Roger asks, looking at him bemusedly.
‘Fidgiano is a girl,’ Rafa tells him solemnly, and Roger just blinks. ‘Long story, you know.’ It breaks the mood a little, and things feel a little bit more normal after that.
Roger walks him back to his hotel room, which is a little ridiculous, considering they’re staying in the same hotel. Rafa opens the door, but then stops and looks back at Roger. ‘Today... was date?’ he asks.
Roger raises his eyebrows a little, but he’s smiling. ‘I was hoping.’
‘Good,’ Rafa says, and kisses him.
title: you teach my heart to speak
pairing: roger federer/rafael nadal
rating: pg
disclaimer: never happened.
word count: ~1100
summary: Four things Rafa wanted to say to Roger on their first date, and one thing he did say.
notes: cut text and title from James Morrison - You Make It Real.
i.
They meet at some charity event.
Rafa likes tennis, obviously. It’s no secret how good he used to be when he was younger. He still plays occasionally, but it’s mainly football now. Obviously. Not that he’d change anything. Rafa loves his job, loves playing for Real Madrid, loves being on the Spanish national team, simply loves playing football.
He still watches tennis when he can though. And besides, he’d be blind not to know who Roger Federer was.
Nevertheless, someone introduces them, and then leaves them standing awkwardly, looking at their drinks. They exchange pleasantries, grasping at things to say until someone sees them together and says, oh Rafa, you used to play tennis, right?
And after that, it’s almost like the floodgates open. They stay by each other’s sides for the rest of the night, talking about nothing really. But Rafa feels a rush inside of him that he hasn’t felt for a long time. A feeling he can’t quite describe and can’t entirely blame on the champagne.
They exchange numbers at the end of the night, and they text back and forth for a while. It’s rare that they’re in the same part of the world as each other - Roger’s on the tour for most of the year, and even when he happens to be in Spain, there’s no guarantee that Rafa will be anywhere near him.
But eventually their paths cross and they’re in the same city for a couple of nights, and they meet up in a bar. And they both drink a little too much, and end up in a club, dancing and laughing. They don’t leave until the early hours of the morning, and it’s definitely the most fun Rafa’s had in a long time. And if he leans a little into Roger’s touch and laughs a little too hard at his jokes and looks at his face for a moment too long-
Well, there’s nobody there to see anyway. Nobody but Roger.
Rafa almost asks Roger to come back with him, to stay the night. But he bites his lip and says nothing.
ii.
The first time they go out together, Roger’s wearing... this shirt. Rafa doesn’t know how to describe it when he’s telling Feli about the evening.
‘Like... colours everywhere, no?’ Feli raises an eyebrow, and says nothing. Rafa scowls, because he knows what Fidgiano is thinking. ‘Like you can talk.’
‘I’ll have you know that I have the best fashion sense here.’
‘That really doesn’t say much,’ Fernando says, with a grin.
The problem is, otherwise, the date was perfect. Nice food, brilliant company. Rafa meant to speak up, meant to tell him, but. Roger smiled at him and Rafa just couldn’t help smiling back.
He just didn’t have the heart to tell Roger that his shirt was ugly.
iii.
Rafa prefers things when they’re simple. When he knows what’s going on, what everyone is doing and, more importantly, why.
He learnt a long time ago the world wasn’t that simple.
He’s not naive enough to think that Mirka doesn’t know, despite what Roger says. She’s never said anything, but when she looks at him, her eyes are sad and knowing.
But she doesn’t say anything. And Rafa can’t bring himself to say anything.
They’ve gone out to eat together before and they’ve fucked before. But somehow, today, it’s different. It’s not a fancy restaurant, but hopefully, it’s one they won’t get noticed at.
He pauses at the door, sees Roger sitting there waiting for him.
Even though he’s never been here before, never been in quite this position, Rafa already knows what’s going to happen. They’ll eat and talk and hold hands under the table, and then they’ll go back to a hotel room - it doesn’t matter which one of them it belongs to - and Roger will probably have him pressed against the wall before the door can shut.
Or maybe it will be Rafa holding Roger against the door. The details don’t matter so much.
And the morning after, they’ll pretend it never happened.
He wants to say ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ He should turn away, walk out the door and not look back.
Instead, when Roger leans into kiss him hello, Rafa does not turn his face away.
vi.
There’s lots of things Rafa wishes he could say right now. Something about how he really likes the food, something about what it means for him being here with Roger.
The language barrier is frustrating, but he and Roger make do with Rafa’s limited English, hand gestures and smiles.
v.
When Roger asks Rafa out to dinner, he doesn’t think twice about accepting.
‘Two friends go out for dinner all the time, no?’ he tells the others, who laugh at him.
‘Friends,’ Feli echoes. Rafa refrains from making a below the belt joke about his 18 year old girlfriend, or even about Feli’s friendship with Fernando. That’d just get the two of them defensive at him and pissy with each other. And he’s had enough of that drama in the last few weeks, thank you very much. ‘Friends don’t look at each other like that.’
Rafa really wants to point out the total irony of him saying that.
Roger holds the door open for him and pulls a chair out for him, tells him what’s good to eat here. It’s a little strange, a change from their usual dynamic. It’s not entirely unwelcome, just... different.
And when Rafa realises what it is, it makes him grin. Roger’s acting like he would for a girl. Not that he thinks Rafa’s a girl - or at least, he really hopes he doesn’t - but it’s the same way he’s seen boys acting around a girl they want to impress.
Or, Rafa thinks, the same way Feliciano and Fernando act around each other. Again, not that he’d ever say that to their faces. Although, it would be priceless.
‘What’re you laughing at?’ Roger asks, looking at him bemusedly.
‘Fidgiano is a girl,’ Rafa tells him solemnly, and Roger just blinks. ‘Long story, you know.’ It breaks the mood a little, and things feel a little bit more normal after that.
Roger walks him back to his hotel room, which is a little ridiculous, considering they’re staying in the same hotel. Rafa opens the door, but then stops and looks back at Roger. ‘Today... was date?’ he asks.
Roger raises his eyebrows a little, but he’s smiling. ‘I was hoping.’
‘Good,’ Rafa says, and kisses him.