The Ashleigh Legacy | Gen. 1.6.
Archive | ✖ Naughty language, sexual situations/pixel nudity, and general disregard for the status quo.
Last time: The Ashleigh's moved to Ridgewater. Dylan met a boy named Bishop who said he could make all of Dylan's vampire dreams come true, but first he stole Dylan's v-card. Finn started experimenting with the chemistry set, searching for a potion that could make his and Étain's imaginary friends real, mainly because Étain didn't want anyone thinking she was as crazy as her dad or her twin. Brigid met a lovely girl named Bobbie who is a little too chill for her own good. Naturally, Bo yelled at her, so Brigid finally got the sack to yell back at Bo. Brigid stole her first car to smooth things over with her mother, and it worked
Charlotte: Have you found the potion yet? Have you found the potion yet?
Finn: No. Not yet. Sigh.
This is poor Finn's life now. I wanted to give Imaginary Friends a chance since I'd never had them in a game before, but I'm pretty sure this will be the first and last time I ever have them around. They are fucking creepy and annoying.
Charlotte: I know you've been working hard, Finn, and I love you for it! You're my best friend, and what's a few little minor explosions between friends?
Finn: I think I might be close to blowing myself up back sane again.
Charlotte: Awesome!
No reason for pictures of submarine bath time aside from the fact that it's totally adorable.
Ares got one of those obnoxious and never-ending 'have a drink at x club' opportunities, and while I usually just delete those, he and Bo hadn't been out in ages so I let them go.
Ares: Wait, the club is called Plasma 501? That sounds kind of gross. But awesome. We're in!
Unsurprisingly, look who was there, hanging all over her vampire honeybun, Jerod.
Bee: SONOFABITCH. Why does everything in this club have to bite?
Bee: How embarrassing.
Ares: Heheheheh. This club has the best entertainment ever.
At that point, Ares eagerly stepped over Bee and went upstairs to the club proper to have his drink. You'll have to use your imagination since I didn't get any pictures of it.
Bo: Looks like you had fun tonight. My husband's going up for a drink; are they strong?
Bee: They definitely can be, but I didn't drink. I just got drank from. *laughs* Hence my inability to walk better than a four year old.
Bo: (Four year olds can walk? I guess I should have trained my children better.)
Bee: I'm Bee Bowyer. It's nice to meet you, despite my ridiculous first impression.
Bo: I'm Bo Ashleigh. We just moved to town.
Bee: Ashleigh... I've heard that name. Is your son Dylan?
Bo: Yeah, he's my oldest. How do you know him?
Bee: My kid brother introduced us the other night. He's a cutie.
Bee: Bishop's taken a real shine to Dylan. I let him crash with us; I hope that's cool? They both seemed really eager for some alone time, if you know what I mean.
Bo: Alone time? Alone time?! My baby?!
Bo: Oh my god. My baby isn't a baby anymore. Oh my god. Are they having sex?!
Bee: Well, maybe not right this minute! *laughs* But those two definitely seemed really involved with each other.
Bo: OH MY GOD, I AM THE WORLD'S WORST MOTHER.
Bee: Hey, teens will be teens, right? I wouldn't worry too much about it. And I'm pretty sure the blood play is just practice for Bishop before Jerod turns him, so don't worry about Dylan being weird or anything. He's just experimenting!
Bo: ...................jdfhsldls;
And then Bo ran upstairs to drink copious amounts of alcohol with her husband. And who could blame her, really?
Meanwhile:
Bishop: Hey, Dyl. Just wanted to let you know that Bee and Jerod kicked me out of the apartment.
Dylan: What? How come?
Bishop: I have no fucking idea. First he asks her to marry him, then they're fighting all over the place. I'm pretty sure he knocked her up and now they're freaking out. Bee said something about them needing space to figure shit out, so Jerod set me up in a place across town.
Dylan: Well, fuck. Are you okay? Do you need me to come over?
Bishop: Not tonight. I'm at the laundromat. I have, like, two month's worth of laundry to do since Bee didn't do it for me before they kicked me out.
Dylan: Harsh, man. Well, I'll see you later, then? I'm excited to see your new place.
Bishop: You got it, beautiful. We'll christen it real good, yeah?
Dylan: Yeah, definitely. Sorry for all of this, anyway. Let me know if you want to come stay with me for the weekend? My parents will be out of town.
Bishop: We'll see. Sleep tight, Dylan. Don't let anyone else but me bite.
Dylan: Never would. ♥
No purpose for this picture aside from the fact that I love the city skyline in the background. I really love this neighborhood.
Because Brigid is a Genius, Finn talked her into giving the chemistry table a shot. He figured she might be able to figure out the Imaginary Friend potion faster than he could.
Finn was eager to give the Inventing Table a try, and I finally felt confident letting him since I was going to be keeping a close eye on him. He made a little kangaroo thingie before Brigid blew herself up.
Brigid: I'm too smart for this shit. This is the first and last time I'm blowing myself up for something that doesn't exist.
Ares and Bo are boring. The only things they ever roll wants for are working out, getting pumped, and working out with their martial arts equipment.
Ares: COME ON, BABE! FASTER! HARDER! HNNGH, GET SOME! RIDE ME!
Bo: ARES SHUT UP! *pantpant* Wrong physical activity! *pantpant*
Ares: Yeah, you don't usually fall of the bed when we're-
Bo: Just that one time, okay?! Geeze.
Meet Ami Yasutake. She's really Shy so Finn's teacher asked him to make friends with her.
Apparently he determined that 'making friends' was synonymous with 'trying to be sexy despite being 10 years old'.
Finn: And this badge is for lighting a fire between two sticks. Get it? Heheheheh get it?
Ami: ....no. But you're gross, anyway.
Mood swing. She pranked, like, six things around the house. Bitch.
The next day Dylan went downtown to visit Bishop and see his new place.
Bishop: Thanks for coming, Dyl. This place is really fucking lonely. I don't even know why he has another huge apartment. It's got, like, three rooms.
Dylan: Maybe it's for his vampire wives. *laughs*
Bishop: Fuck, probably.
Bishop: But tonight, it's all our's. Just you and me and no one to tell us what we can and can't do.
Dylan: That... that sounds really good. ♥
Like any other teenager, the moment you start getting groiny you can't think about anything else. Bishop has turned Dylan into a horny little sex machine.
Bishop: In the elevator?
Dylan: It's private, right?
And then again in Bishop's bedroom later that night.
Bishop: Damn, beautiful. You're insatiable.
Dylan: I can't help myself around you.
Bishop: hey, I like it.
It wasn't until Dylan excused himself to take a shower and eat (because, you know, as much as he'd like to live off of boning, you just really can't), Bishop finally got around to doing his homework. Just... naked homework amused me and I had to capture the moment, okay? Stop judging me. I know you are.
Bishop caught a few hours of sleep while Dylan did his homework, and then they spent the rest of the night and morning before school playing live action Angry Birds.
Which led to this. Sleep, my precious. Sleep.
I assume all of you know Bo well enough by know to realize that jogging always = grand theft auto. Okay? Okay.
Austin: Étain, we need to talk. I don't think Finn is keeping up his end of the bargain.
Étain: Um... what was the bargain, anyway? I thought your friend was just manipulating him into making some potion and then you guys were going to leave him to twist?
Austin: What? I mean- what? Psh. Tch. No one ever said that. Oh my god, shut up.
Charlotte: You're so great, Finn! It's incredible that you keep trying. All this hard work, just for me! You're my best friend ever.
Finn: I love you. Charlotte. No one gets me like you do!
Oh, Finn. You precious little dumbass.
Étain: Hi, Ami. Hi, Ami. Want to watch me spin? Watch me spin.
Ami: Um, okay. But I'm here to see Finn-
Étain: He's busy being manipulated by a figment of his imagination. Watch me!
Ami: Yeah... you're pretty good.
Finn: Oh, hey, Ami!
Ami: OH MY GOD FINN IS ON FIRE
Étain: Whatever. He's just smoldering a little. God, Finn, you glory hog.
Austin: Why do you care what that Ami girl thinks? I'm your best friend. You're supposed to hang out with me!
Étain: Austin, be less desperate, okay? Geeze.
Austin: You're so mean, Étain! If you didn't love me then why don't you just unwish me?
Étain: Cry more, baby.
Austin: Ugh, I wish I was Finn's!
Étain: I wonder if there are any waffles left..?
Finn: Uh, Char? I have a weird question.
Charlotte: I'll answer anything for you, Finn!
Finn: Étain says you're not just a figment of my crazy-ass brain and that you and another one like you are manipulating me into making a potion that will make you real so you two can have babies and people the world with other things like you?
Charlotte: THAT'S CRAZY.
Finn: Oh my god, is she telling the truth?!
Charlotte: No! Not at all! It's not like that, I promise!
Charlotte: To be honest, your sister is kind of a horrible beast, Finn. I think she's just jealous of the relationship you have with me. She's trying to sabotage us!
Finn: ...yeah, you know, that sounds a lot more likely. Okay! Thanks for being honest, Char!
Brigid: Pick up, pick up. Bobbie, pick u- Oh, hey, Bobbie! (...) yeah, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go for a swim at the public pool? My family is having their weekly chaotic explosion of feelings and I don't want to get any on me.
Brigid: Great. I can't wait to see you, too. *sighs* Why is she so perfect?
Étain: Why are you such a sappy freak?
Brigid: What?
Étain: What?
Dylan: La dee da. Looking at stars. Minding my own business with our fancy new telescope.
Bo: DYLAN ASHLEIGH. OH HELL NO.
Dylan: Mom! Oh my god, mom. Clothes, please!
Bo: Oh, please. From what I've heard lately, you're all about the nudity these days!
Dylan: W-what are you talking about? Who have you been talking to?
Bo: That's so not even the point. Who the hell is Bishop and why haven't we met him? I'd like to at least know what the guy my son is letting violate him looks like.
Dylan: Violating?! Mom, what the hell? He's my boyfriend not a rapist.
Dylan: I don't understand why you're freaking out so much about this! It's not like you're a saint.
Bo: I... have my reasons okay?! I'm your mother. I don't have to make sense. We'll talk about this again after your father and I get home on Monday.
Dylan: Fine. Whatever. Have a good trip.
Bo: I love you, Dylan. I just... want you to be safe, damnit.
Dylan: We always are. I'm not an idiot.
And on a lighter note:
Brigid: Hey, Bobbie! I'm so glad you could make it.
Bobbie: I'm starting to like this sneaking out thing. *laughs* It's kind of fun.
Bobbie: (If I dropped my hand a little lower I could "accidentally" get a handful of dat ass.)
Randomly, I love how Bobbie wore her formal wear to the pool. Because she's a lady.
Brigid: I hope it isn't cheesy, but I bought these from some homeless guy on the freeway on my way here. I hope there aren't any drugs or razor blades or murder weapons in them.
Bobbie: They're beautiful! And they don't smell like a meth lab, so I think you're good. Thanks, Brig!
Bobbie: I know I can come off kind of laconic, but I'm actually really glad you asked me out tonight. I can't stop thinking about you. The idea of seeing you gets me all sorts of excited.
Brigid: I'm really glad to hear that. Because I wanted to know... if you maybe wanted to be my girlfriend?
Bobbie: If you weren't going to ask, I sure was.
Brigid: Oh, thank god. I was so nervous.
Bobbie: Let me help you with that.
♥
And then they moved it some place much more swank. I have such classy sims.
Dylan woke up in a horrible strop and was mood-swinging all over the place.
Dylan: I can't believe you woke me up just so i could help you with your homework. REMEMBER HOW I'M PRETTY SO I DON'T HAVE TO BE SMART?
Finn: Actually I just wanted you to forge dad's signature to get me out of P.E., daaamn.
He legit reminded me so much of Gollum right here.
Dylan: (Muahahahaahah mom will never know what hit her. I am so devious muahahaha)
Bo: (I am mysteriously drawn to shower even though I just took one a few hours ago.)
Bo: What the hell is this blue stuff on my fingers? Oh my god... what-
Bo: DYYYYLAAAAAN!
...
.
.
.
.
.
Like mother, like son. Just saying.
But it's not like the kids don't get their fair share of crap.
And then Bo and Ares left for their obligatory adult trip, leaving the kids alone to fend for themselves for the weekend. And just like the absentee parents they are, they left the night before Finn and Étain's birthday. Such lovely role models.
Étain: (I wish to be more beautiful and popular than anyone else. And for Austin to burn in hell.)
Brigid: *tooooot*
Dylan: Hey, for a carpet-muncher you're pretty good at that.
Brigid: I learned from watching you practice on your toothbrush when you thought no one was looking.
Finn: I don't know what they're talking about, and I don't care! *toooot*
Charlotte: You'll realize soon enough!
Randomly, does anyone else get the Stride of Pride vibe from the way IFs walk? Is that or is that not just fucking wrong all things considered?
Étain: Yay! I'm finally old enough to kick all of you in the shins!
Finn: (Hmm. I wish to look several years older and much manlier than my big brother.)
Brigid: Lmao you are so good at that.
Dylan: You're just jelly, girlfriend.
Brigid: This is my impression of Dylan waiting for coc-
Dylan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FINN! Oh my god shut up have you been drinking?!
Brigid: Maybe a little.
Your wish came true, bb. LoL Finn is my slab-jawed caveman.
Étain rolled Artistic. To help her with her hair, make-up, and nails, obviously.
Finn rolled Lucky. Thank fucking god. He needed something to mitigate the other three traits.
Brigid: *cakecakecake*
Finn: *cakecakecake*
Dylan: *cakecakecake*
Étain: Is this cake going to make me fat?
Ugh, they got older, too. AND EXPONENTIALLY CREEPIER BECAUSE OF IT. It's to the point now where I force Finn to work at the chem table, because the faster he discovers the potion, the faster they'll stop looking like this.
Finn: I wonder who left all of their little dolls out here on this table?
Brigid: FINN DON'T TOUCH MY BOARD
Finn: Geeze, someone needs to get laid.
It's so true. She really does. Every time she tries to seal the deal, Bobbie takes off.
Austin: You grew up nice, Étain.
Étain: I hate you. Go away.
Austin: Real nice, mmm-hmmm.
Austin: Let me know if you need some help washing your back.
Étain: I am getting so fucking fed up with you. You're so disgusting and creepy and I want you to leave me the hell alone!
Austin: then I suggest you hurry your crazy brother the hell up and get me my potion. Like I want to be around you anymore, anyway. You've turned into such a bitch.
Étain: At least I'm not a giant, walking doll, loser.
Austin: At least I'm not the lonely, pathetic little girl who wanted friends so bad she had to imagine one into reality.
Étain: Whatever! I don't need you anymore. Leave me alone!
Austin: Believe me, I would if I could!
Charlotte: I'm getting worried, Finn. Austin and Étain are on rocky ground. I can sense impending badness!
Finn: Like what kind of badness? Like Jonestown badness or like Michael Jackson circa 1987 Badness?
Dylan: Um, Finn? Who are you talking to, bro?
Finn: Charlotte.
Dylan: ...right. Cool. Well, just wanted to let you know that I'm having a little get together tonight, so maybe you could put on a shirt.
Finn: A shirt! Of course! I need to change my clothes.
Dylan: Uh, for what?
Finn: FOR SCIENCE!
Science. ♥
And so the party began, and Étain gravitated to the first cute guy that walked in.
Étain: Hi, I'm Étain and we should be friends because I'm so much prettier than Vickie.
Garret: Yeah, cool, whatever.
Vickie: Bitch.
A wild Sinclair appears.
Keenan: Fuck the party. This hot tub is the shit.
Bishop: Hey, Briiiig. Did Dylan tell you I have my own place now?
Brigid: No, he didn't. What happened? Did your sister get sick of walking in on you and my brother illegally sodomizing each other?
Bishop: Well, yeah.
Brigid: Look, what you guys do in private is your own business, but you guys really need to learn to keep it private.
Bishop: But he's so hot. I can't help it. I like showing him off!
Brigid: I don't want to see it!
Brigid: He's my brother. I mean, yeah, we're twins, but we're not those kind of twins.
Bishop: It would be cooler if you were.
Vickie: This party is lame. *drinks pain of rejection away*
Étain: And then my brother was like, "It's amazing how, even though we're twins, you're so much more beautiful than I'll ever be."
Garret: Yeah, cool, whatever.
Austin: You're such a lying, pathetic wannabe. He doesn't like you. You try too hard.
Bishop: *danceleer*
Dylan: *prancedance*
Brigid: WHY ISN'T BOBBIE HERE YET? WAAAIIL.
Bishop: Dude, I think your sister is eating her feelings.
Dylan: She's plowing that entire pizza!
Brigid: *sobeatsobangsteat*
Finn: Psst. Hey. Hey, Keenan.
Keenan: Uh, hey, Finn.
Finn: Did you know that if I peed right now, you'd never know, because the water in here is already warm?
Keenan: ...yeah, I think that's my cue. Later, man.
Finn: :)
Bobbie: Hey, I finally made it! Sorry for the lateness, but me and Zane had practice at the martial arts academy.
Brigid: Yeah, I can tell. *laughs* You only slightly reek.
Brigid: You can use any of our showers if you want.
Bobbie: Is that a hint? *laughs* Because if it is, I'll take it.
And then she exclaimed that the party was awesome and left. -__- Poor Brigid is never, ever going to get any play. At that point, Bishop also left right after luring Dylan into Bo and Ares' bedroom with the promise of woohoo. Seriously, he got naked and everything before suddenly running off. My poor babies. |D
Dylan: (damnit, i can't believe he left me here with this annoying hard-on)
Zane: Hey. Nice wood, man. *snickersnicker*
Dylan: ...
Dylan: Oh, fuck off, Zane. What the hell are you doing in my parent's room, anyway?
Zane: I needed to take a piss. All the other bathrooms were occupied. Chill out! Sexual frustration isn't a good color on you, man. *laughs*
Dylan: Dude, shut up! You have no idea what you're talking about. You don't know what's going on-
Zane: Whoa, whooaaa... Dylan, you need to calm down. I'm just giving you a hard time, man. What the hell is your problem?
Dylan: Jealous losers like you are my problem. Teasing isn't innocent just because you say it is, you dick.
Zane: (tch maybe i'm a little jealous whatever)
Bishop made it all the way home before autonomously coming back to the party to be with Dylan. ♥
Bishop: Hey, kids, I'm back. Is all this delicious tension just for me?
Zane: Your boy toy is crazy.
Bishop: Yeah, but I love that about him. Now fuck off, Sinclair, before I make you eat your own face.
Dylan: I thought you left.
Bishop: Nah. Just zipped around to the gas station for some condoms. Sorry I didn't say anything.
Bishop: Now. How about we put them to good use? Work some of that tension out of you?
Dylan: Sounds like the best idea I've heard all night.
Meanwhile, back in Étain's land of Teenangstia:
Austin: BOO, ÉTAIN. YOU SUCK. AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY.
Étain: Ew. I hate you so much! Ugh!
Étain: What is wrong with me? I am so not crazy. Why won't that little bastard just go away? I'm too old for this shit now. *grumblegrumble*
Finn: Teehee, she still thinks Austin isn't real. (...) I know, right, Charlotte? You would think by now that she- (...) Yeah, I'll work on it.
Étain: FINN. BE LESS CRAZY.
Finn: Teehehehehee.
Finn: You! I love you! You you you you you! ♥
Charlotte: Whoa! That's a lot of love, Finn! But I'll do my best to keep on deserving it!
Finn: You don't have to work hard. I'd love you no matter what. You've always been there for me.
Charlotte: Aw, Finn. ♥ And... and I always will be.
Étain: Oh, shit, sorry. I didn't think anyone was in here.
Zane: Oh, hey. It's cool. This place is like a crazy labyrinth for bathrooms. Once you find one, it's either occupied or the toilet explodes water on you.
Étain: Yeah, my brothers are pretty stupid and childish sometimes. They keep pranking everything. It's so annoying.
Austin: You're such a skank. Why don't you just get naked and throw yourself at him right now?
Étain: shutupshutup
Zane: What?
Étain: Nothing! So, did you have fun tonight?
Zane: 'Eh, not really. I got here late because of practice and then your brother jumped down my throat and was a total asshole. I think I'm just going to take off.
Étain: Oh... that sucks. I'm really sorry. Well, maybe I could call you some time..?
Zane: Yeah, definitely.
Étain: Great. Maybe we could go into the city and do something fun? Now that I've had my birthday I've been dying to get out suburbia. *laughs*
Austin: And away from me, right? Right
Étain: fuckoffaustin
Zane: What?
Étain: Nothing! I'll, uh... talk to you later, then.
Zane: Yeeeep. Later.
Finn: I am so exhausted! Why am I so tired?
Dylan: Probably because you just spent the last two hours making, like, 15 drinks that no one's going to drink because everyone left.
Finn: Huh. Yeah, that could maybe be it. Night, bro!
Dylan: Yeah, night. I'll just throw all the trash out myself. No big deal.
Dylan is so passive-aggressive.
It's not Mr. Boat, no, but it's still freaking cute.
We then got this notice and Bishop got so happy.
Bishop: I'm gonna be an uncle! I can't wait to be the cool uncle that never disciplines my nephew and sends him back to his parents all full of sugar and horror movies and bad ideas.
He then followed Dylan outside because, no joke, he wanted to woohoo for the third time that night. sjdfslds
Bishop: I can smell you out here, Dylan. I'm practically drooling at the thought of getting my mouth on you again, baby.
Dylan: I'm over here. And that's gross, Bishop. *laughs*
Bishop: Mind if I stay the night?
Dylan: I would have been heartbroken if you'd left.
And that is where I leave you this time. Hopefully my game will cease crashing so I can actually play passed the end of the damn party. LoL
As always, thanks so much for reading! ♥
Guest Sims:
Ares Live by emalso
Bee Bowyer by nice_days
Bishop Bowyer by nice_days
Bobbie Kim by moncoeursims
Garret by ...I can't remember because he's not in my saved sims folder for some reason. :| But he's not mine.