How did I get here?

[preppyperv]

Upon this journey of self discovery, I am finding out who I am not, more often than who I am.

I see who I used to be, very clearly. I can see the mistakes I made plain as day. I can see how I struggled. I see how I used to love.

I am changing, somedays in more noticeable ways than others. Each day is a new chance to move along a little bit further

Comments

[lookslikelori]

Sadly, I cannot be all things to all people.

My sponsor has been recently reminding me that ..

Not everyone can be every thing to me ..

Whadda concept!! :)

[preppyperv]

I know right? Geesh, this is the stuff we shoulda learned in kindergarten...not coloring inside the damned lines!

It is hard though, especially being a "caretaker" for so long...I hate the look of sadness and disappointment on someone's face.

BTW, on a totally unrelated note...I have to email you today...I broke one of your products...whoops!

[trystoffate]

I'm glad you shared this.

Learning to find the balance between everything and enough is a hard, uphill climb. I'm glad that you have worked your way to being true to you, the ever evolving wonder that is you!

I'm still down here cheering for a bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, and next one coming right down the middle, and you'll just connect and it'll head over the fence and out of the park!!!

Are you working the door tomorrow? I'd love to swing by for a drinkie! : )

[preppyperv]

Thank you, Polo.

Finding the balance is not always a pleasant thing for me. It means I either don't have enough or I have too much on one side or the other. To me it means loss or abscence...it is a tough one.

I learned that being true to me was a lifestyle choice for me. I had to consciously change the way I live, love, communicate and a million other things. I chose a few years ago to be awake and to see, so where I am now is built on a solid foundation of conscious living.

I guess the part that feels the best to me is that today, I can say I want this, somewhere down the road. Because for a very long time, all I could think about was what can I do to survive today? It is a wondrous thing for me to be looking into the future with all the tools and new skills I have.

Yes, let's have a little something refreshing together tonight. I have to be on by 10ish, but you can hang out inside the shaft with me or we can sit in the warmth together...until someone comes and wants to hang their damned coat up.

I will text you...

[inkednurse]

Amazing...simply amazing. You're so articulate about what you're feeling and how it affects you.

I struggle daily with the need to be all things to all people. I'm a
nurse...it's in my make-up. When I've dated someone and it's not worked out, I'm so hurt because somehow, in my mind, I've failed miserably.

Keep your chin up, hun, and rely on those ears & shoulders that you trust.

Why thank you kindly

[preppyperv]

I get the medical savior one, trust me! My ex was a paramedic for 17 years and when she got retired on an injury...she was always looking for the ones who needed saving...which is one of the reasons I left...she never noticed I needed saving since my wounds were not on the surface.

It must be tough to find some balance for you...you must be exhausted at the end of the day!

Re: Why thank you kindly

[inkednurse]

some days, I AM exhausted. And you're right...I DO need to have balance. Unfortunately, I'm still working on that.

[woofiegrrl]

You are wonderful now. There is only up to go from here.