i am left here to face the absence of what was left of this organ i once called a heart. a symbol of something we are taught to desire now i no longer believe in. am i being too over melodramatic? no. i dont think so. i think i myself have walked the path freely to find this truth on my own. some of us must accept this that this emotion if yet ( Read more... )

this state i find myself in, driving home in this flurry fo white shit, it is what i am comfortible with. and the odd thing is, this ping, this startling realization that despite the wrong done, despite all of these days basking in the destruction you left behind, called me, in regards to all of this, i am settled in the familiarity of it all. of ( Read more... )

the words i cannot say are those that mostly need to be heard. these actions are not my own, though at this time i am entirely trying to take control of this life, only losing control and aparently causing a division between your arms and mine. you are so many of you upset at me, for what i could make a few eduacated guesses, however, this is the ( Read more... )

sorry that 1 drink and a day thinking of yous really made me want some provocative curriculim or what not. dear god i hate me

so i am in bed early and hiding from possible regretful occurances i may drunkily bring upon myself

i am afraid i woke from this positive mood to see a similar figure as your own ride by my window in this morning air. and i missed you. missings those who depart is what i do best these days. missing you emphasizes this empty heart. i want to walk out into this darkness and find rest and security in those arms, i want that comradery in those eyes ( Read more... )

i feel like i need a mood stabilizer or a sedative. i think ive fallen for you faster then anticipated and am begining to feel a lot like i am booty call again. i have no idea what the fuck is going on ( Read more... )

i want to feel the warmth of your bare skin against mine.

there are many reasons i could list for me being ridiculous but one in particular is mostly dominant these days ( Read more... )

i think far too often i am unwilling these days to trust i want to quit when i dont understand what is going on, esp if its at the risk of getting hurt again because of my stupidity or lack of awareness. but i am learning to wait and be still. i am learning to live my life and take the good i recieve, and thru this i am being blessed with ( Read more... )

so basically confusion would best describe my state of mind right now. i wish so badly to have someone to speak to on this right now. i feel all anxious and like quiting at what feels like a silly game. always having my hopes up but i dont know. maybe i am just so use to being the center of attention in ones life, maybe i just dont understand the ( Read more... )