(no subject)

[pretentiousblue]

she lay blue-lit and topless to my right
her hair spread mane-like out beneath her eyes
half-overmisted with intoxication
(of which the still remembrance of the sight
fills me with an exquisite consternation
as black desirous filaments arise
out of my viscera into my chest
and i am robbed of certitude and rest)

she asked if she might say something to which
she could not guess at my reaction and
i paused and i assented and she said
she loved me-at that moment i was such
as is the painted desert where the sand
and rock formations blush a fervent red
which overflying once my jet-lagged grief
quivered in an astonished disbelief-

so quivered i astonished and confused
(not comprehending or believing it)
as she gave voice to love's forbidden name.
But now I trace the passage of her feet,
as though unloved or loved and disabused
and left to boil a bitter stew of shame:
and yet she loved me first and loves me still,
while I love slowly and against my will.