[fic] The Things We Can't Control - Chapter 51 ~It Shouldn't Work~
Title: The Things We Can't Control
Author:
prettyorianna
Pairing: Akame. Others to be added later.
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: crime drama au
Beta by: my cat Gemma. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my
plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary: Two criminals with vastly different styles meet by chance one day. They immediately clash but is that all they'll ever be? How much is fate and how much choice? And how will their meeting change the world around them?
Author's Note: Yet another longer chapter! Yay! Sorry it's so late at night.
BANNER BY DESHISORABA!! THE MOST AWESOME BANNER EVER AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES!
Warning: This gets graphic often occasionally, containing at the very least foul language, character death, nefarious crimes, rape, etc etc.
The Master Posts:
On my journal - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_ Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the je_kamenashi Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the kattun_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the jin_fics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
Chapter 51 ~It Shouldn't Work~
When Kame woke up around eight that morning, Tegoshi Yuya was already gone. Hmm… he hadn’t meant to make it sound so urgent. Or maybe, he thought with a smile, Yuya was just exceptionally motivated for this particular task.
First he’d overlooked Koki’s feelings for Yuya when it seemed that half of Kizuna was already aware of it and now he’d overlooked Yuya’s feelings for Ryo, which, given last night’s talk, were clearly very deep. Poor Koki. He didn’t stand a chance…
He really hadn’t been paying enough attention, had he?
Kizuna was just starting to get so much bigger than he ever could have foreseen.
Well, while he waited for Yuya to come back, it would probably be a good idea to take some of the money from the out-of-town robberies and go to the mom-and-pop grocery stores in Kizuna’s territory. Aside from needing to do the shopping, the local business owners were the best source of information Kizuna really had.
Koyama, Shige, and Massu had left right after breakfast to do a job. They hadn’t said what, exactly, but he knew they’d fill in the details later and they could take care of themselves. He wasn’t worried, or, not any more worried than he usually was.
He needed Koki to drive him - he’d had the twins’ car for almost eight and a half years and still hadn’t learned to drive the damn thing - but maybe he better bring Jin along as well. It had been a while since Kizuna got a new thief and Jin needed to know what places were strictly off-limits as far as targets. It was also pretty beneficial to have the shop owners be able to recognize Kizuna’s members, too. They wouldn’t deal with Jin alone until Kame himself vouched for him so it was a perfect chance to do that at the same time.
Hmm… Koki normally spent his breakfast eating with the street kids in the one Sunday school room but he wasn’t there. Odd…
“Eiji, where’s Koki?” he asked.
Before Eiji could answer, though, Reina pouted, “Koki-niisan said he’s busy and it’s a grown up talk and not for little girls!” She looked really put-out over the whole thing.
Well, that didn’t sound like him at all. Reina had him fairly wrapped around her little finger and her manipulation of him was on a master level. Kizuna’s con men could learn a thing or two from her handling of Koki. Actually, now that he thought on it, they already had.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. Where is he?”
“The sanctary.”
Huh? “Where?”
“Sanctary. The sanctary!” and she was looking at him like he was an idiot. “With Nishi-san.”
Oh, the sanctuary! Well, at least she’d stopped calling it the Big Cross Bench Room. Not that it wasn’t completely adorable each time she’d called it that. And… Nishi-san? It had to be Jin; he was the only one around that had a name even close. Hmm… what were those two plotting? “Thanks, sweetie.”
“Princess. I’m a Princess.”
“Oh, sorry. I meant to say Princess.” See? Completely adorable. “You’re Princess of the Whole Gang!”
She really was just so amazing, able to still be like that considering her life before Eiji brought her to the church. Koki had told him the story, about how their father had killed their mother right in front of them and then turned on them, intending to finish the job. Eiji had snatched up his baby sister, who was only two at the time, and ran. He took care of her on the streets for three years, the two of them eating out of dumpsters and sleeping anywhere they could find. It was such a hard life and yet she was still so… bright. Shining. Eiji told Koki she’d never stopped smiling even when things were almost more than he could bear himself and that’s what kept him going those three years.
As Kame left to go to the sanctuary, he could hear Hotaru and Reina arguing behind him over who was really the Princess of the Whole Gang. Kids. Go figure. But as he got further down the hall, away from the Sunday school room and closer to the sanctuary, the voices of the children faded and Jin’s grew louder.
“Why are you pushing this so hard? It’s not what he wants.”
+++
“What about you? What do you want?” Koki asked Jin. “I’ve seen the way you stare at him when he’s not paying attention. The pain that fills your eyes when he’s hurting and trying to hide it. That big, goofy grin you wear for hours whenever he says anything even remotely kind to you.”
Had… was that really all true? Was he doing all of those? Staring after Kame like some lovestruck puppy and… and…
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he finally mumbled irritably, but he couldn’t stop the memory of jasmine and strawberries from flooding back… That soft kiss in the office yesterday evening was amazing.
But it was scary, too.
It was scary because it didn’t matter how amazing it was to him.
“It doesn’t really matter what I want anyway. He doesn’t want me. That’s all that matters.” He would not cry, though. He’d resigned himself to this already. He’d accepted it. He would be there for Kame, be someone he could count on and he’d have to be satisfied with that. There wasn’t anything else to be done for it.
Not that… not that he wanted…
Except, really, he did. How messed up was that? He was always so slow to trust but here he was. He’d known Kame a week and Kame was just… different somehow. Different from anyone he’d ever known. At first, he’d really gotten on his nerves. It didn’t seem like he had all that much respect for him. He’d mocked him at the bank and in the car when they’d fled. He called him a selfish idiot. Slapped him, even.
If anyone else had treated him like that, he’d have kicked their asses. And he’d be lying if he said there weren’t moments where that’s exactly what he’d felt like doing to Kame, though they tended to pass quickly.
So how in the hell had he gotten from that to this?
But he knew the answer to the question before he’d even finished thinking it. Kame was just an amazing man. Jin had never met another person like that. There was so much love in that man’s heart, so much it was consuming him. Burning him out from the inside.
Jin couldn’t let that happen, though. Even if it would hurt to be so near and yet hold himself back, he’d be someone Kame could rely on, try to ease that burden. Make him take care of himself. Make him see himself for what he really was and not for whatever failures he thought he was making.
Over the week, Jin had come to realized that it wasn’t only him that noticed these things about Kame. Kizuna saw how he was spreading himself too thin, how he was subtly punishing himself. They did their best to help but he just kept telling them he was fine. But Jin was just as stubborn as Kame, it seemed, and apparently that’s what he needed.
“You’re so sure of that…” Koki trailed off. He looked thoughtful. “But you’re wrong. I know you’re wrong.”
“Wait, has he said something? Did he… what did he say? What did he tell you?!”
Koki opened his mouth to answer, but Kame’s voice came harshly from the doorway of the sanctuary, “KOKI! ENOUGH!” and Jin’s gaze immediately snapped to him. His face was bright red and he looked really, really pissed.
God, how much had he heard?
“Ne, Kame… uh… How… uh… long…” Jin stammered nervously.
“Long enough to know I’m never leaving the two of you alone together again if I had to dedicate my every waking moment to it.”
Uh oh.
He heard it all. Everything Koki said about his staring and his stupid grin. “We were just…”
“Just… just stop. Please…” and the look Kame gave him wasn’t angry anymore; it was pleading. And it hurt to see that look in his eyes. He’d managed to, without meaning to, hurt Kame. Again.
All he could do was shut up and nod.
There was an awkward silence shared among the three of them for what felt like forever but Kame finally broke it. “Koki, get the car. We’re going shopping.”
“Right, boss.” And Koki left.
“Jin, you’re coming, too.”
Him? “You… sure you want me to come with you? You aren’t real happy with me right now, I think…”
“I need to introduce you to some people, explain some stuff about Kizuna if you plan on staying. You do, right? I mean…” and Kame looked hopeful now, “plan on staying?”
“I’m staying. I told you, I want you to be able to rely on me, remember?” Maybe it was a little impolite to point that out now, after what had just happened and the look Kame had just moments ago, but…
Still, it made Jin smile to see how hopeful Kame looked now. Rising, he followed Kame out of the sanctuary and towards the main entrance. “So, um, shopping, then?”
“Yeah. Grocery shopping. There’s a bunch of places that we go who sometimes donate or discount food for us. In exchange, we keep the drug dealers and other gangs away and we leave their shops alone and we don’t spread our strolls too near their doorways. These are all off-limit targets as far as places to rob. See, in Kizuna, though everything is reported to me eventually, you’re free to work your own way. I mean, nobody knows better than you what you are and aren’t capable of. Same for everyone else here. I trust them to know this so I trust them to act wisely. The whores sell themselves to who they choose, not who I choose, and the thieves are the same. They rob who they choose. You give what you can from the jobs but, again, the amount is of your own choosing. Of course, we still do things together. Rescue missions usually. And I may commission out a particular task but every member has the right to refuse free of consequence.
“If you find an opportunity, a particularly rewarding target for example, and you need someone with skills you don’t have, you can ask around yourself or you can come to me. In general, I have a sense of what everyone can do. I try to keep up-to-date on that. That way, I can recommend someone to you. But I won’t make them do the job if they don’t want to.
“But if I catch word of you hitting off-limit targets, then we will have a problem. And… well, any time you can spare to help with meals or cleaning or anything, we always appreciate. I know that every moment donated to that purpose cuts into your potential earnings which is, again, why I don’t demand it. But pretty much everyone helps out when they can. You’ve already been doing this; don’t think I haven’t noticed. Dishes, helping get those pews up… I’ve been… grateful…” Kame trailed off for a minute.
But finally, he shook his head and continued, “Sometimes we’ve rescued people who were too… traumatized, I guess is a good word… to continue doing what they were before. I think… if I judge right, it would be very difficult, for example, for Tatsuya to continue whoring. To put it bluntly, I think it would slowly kill him - or, actually, not all that slowly at all. No, I think he’s done with that life. But if he chooses to stay - and it looks like he will - he can try to learn a new skill set or even just help out around the church. He won’t be making any money of his own that way so he won’t have free money to spend, but we will never let him go hungry. Koki learned to drive and sort of claimed the job of my assistant. Some of the older street kids are learning to pick pockets and locks. Yurina can teach a lot of different weapon skills. Also, some people choose to become enforcers and make it their job to keep the rest of us safe. They’ll go to the strolls with the whores and make sure the customers stay in line.
“And any time there’s a disturbance at one of our designated safe places, like the grocery stores we’re about to go visit, usually they’ll be the first to go check on that. Unless I go myself. I try to, as much as I can. But I can’t always, which is why I need to introduce you to the shop owners. They’ll need to be able to recognize you if you go shopping without me or if you go to help them with a problem.
“I know it’s a lot of information,” Kame continued as Koki was pulling up alongside them, “But does it all make sense? Do you have any questions?”
“I do what I want, pay what I want, help when I want, don’t hit off-limit target, and above all, I keep you in the loop either before or soon after.” Jin couldn’t recall ever hearing of a group that was run like that. It was amazing that it worked at all. He would think… it seems like it wouldn’t really work. But he had to admit, every single person he’d talked to had stressed how glad they were to help. How much they wanted to help, to work hard not only for themselves but also for everyone else even knowing there was nobody making them do it.
See, this is what he meant about Kame. So much love in his heart, it spilled over to all of them and turned what shouldn’t work at all into something more like a family than any family he’d ever actually seen in his life.
“Exactly. And if you have a problem with another member, you can bring it to me to mediate. I don’t play favorites. Also, you will treat each and every member of Kizuna, no matter what they do, with the same level of respect you show me and the same level of respect I will show you.
“It doesn’t always run smoothly, I’ll admit. Not everyone gets along perfectly well. If I catch you stealing from other members - wait, stop, I’m not saying you would! - I will boot you, though. Respect even the people you don’t get along with. That’s the one thing I demand and it is the one thing that I will enforce. You don’t have to like them. You can avoid spending time with whoever you don’t like. You can choose not to work jobs with them. But don’t insult them, belittle what they do or how they choose to contribute. I will personally kick your ass and then you will have to leave. And especially, especially… for those who have been traumatized one way or another, don’t make it worse. Don’t mock them for it. Don’t call them weak. The fact that they survived what happened to them makes them stronger than almost all of us. Please, be respectful of that strength.”
“I think…” Kame trailed off again, but then slowly started back with, “…you don’t have it in you to do that maliciously. I really don’t. And I know you care enough to try not to do it accidentally. But I have to be honest with you. You don’t always think. You know this is true. Or, well, maybe it’s more that sometimes you don’t realize quite what effect your words or attitude will have because you don’t understand the situation. You’ve never gone through it so you don’t know… Like what you said at the hotel to me before…”
And Jin could tell Kame was trying to put it delicately. He wasn’t being mean. He wasn’t even being judgmental. And it was true Jin’s mouth got him into trouble a lot. He was quick to anger at times. If he was being totally honest, he might admit - might, mind you - that he overreacted sometimes. Not a lot. Just… um, sometimes.
“I… will do my best…” he finally managed to stammer.
“I know you will, Jin. That I will never doubt. We have our fights, Jin, but I do have faith in you, too. Not just the others. I wouldn’t have offered you a home with us if I didn’t.”
“Even though you’ve only just met me?” Jin blinked away what he absolutely positively knew weren’t tears threatening to fall.
Kame stopped, removed his hand from the car door. Turning to face Jin, he put his hand on Jin’s cheek and looked him straight in the eyes. “Yes. I have faith in you, Jin. You should have faith in yourself, too.”
Kame smiled at him and it was wonderful and, oh, he wanted so badly to kiss him again but that look would be gone if he tried, he just knew it and nobody had ever, ever looked at him like that before. Not once in his entire life.
Well, Tatsuya trusted him and looked at him kindly sometimes and like he was an idiot other times, but it wasn’t like this. It was trust in Tatsuya’s eyes when he could bring himself to meet Jin’s gaze in the first place (which wasn’t often but Jin didn’t mind; once you’ve been on the streets for so long, you stop looking people in the eyes so it was expected even between friends) but not this complete open faith. “Kame…” he whispered. Those were so not tears in his eyes.
They just stood there like that for a moment and it was like that moment was all that ever existed. Like the rest of the world around them had somehow been this dream and it had been stripped away, leaving Jin and Kame and this one second.
But then Kame blinked suddenly and sort of shook himself and hastily added, “So… we should go.”
And the moment was gone.
Kame climbed into the passenger seat and, still rather dazed, Jin climbed into the back. Koki was quiet the entire drive and normally Jin would wonder how much of what just happened had he picked up on… but he found he really, really didn’t care.
He didn’t care about a lot of things.
+++
What was that?
Something significant had just happened; Kame was sure of it. He just had no idea what it was. It wasn’t like that’s the first time he’s told someone to have faith in themselves, or smiled at someone, or even put a hand on someone’s cheek.
Normally, not understanding what happened would leave him anxious and confused but he wasn’t. He wasn’t in the slightest.
No. He was… content.
Strange.
Well, on to the task at hand.
There were five stores to visit: the one on third street, which was the one he’d sent Tesshi and Massu to earlier that week; the one on the corner of Elm and Sixth; the one pretty much across the street from it; the tiny one on Lexus and Eighth; and the one all the way out on Eighth and Broadway.
The first three went without incident. Yes, the owners had heard the rumors but no, they didn’t believe them and no, they had no idea where they were originating. There was the slight nervousness they always had when he brought new members around to introduce them but he assured them Jin would be no problem and Jin, without any prompting from Kame, started joking with them, completely charming them in minutes. It was actually really impressive and he made sure to mention that fact to Jin between the second and third store.
The tiny store on Lexus and Eighth had troubling news for him, though.
Apparently they’d had some trouble with drug dealers trying to set up. Not a major operation, but something more like individual sellers. They’d run one off and within a day a completely different but still seemingly independent one would show up. And then the morning after Tatsuya’s rescue, the owner had shown up bright and early to find busted glass and a wild-eyed man trying to break rather unsuccessfully into their register. When they tried to call the police, he’d taken off… and run right into the arms of the fourth seemingly independent drug dealer trying to set up shop.
Only then, to the confusion of the shop owner, the drug dealer actually left, taking the man with him and hadn’t been seen since.
The description of the man… it sounded a lot like Yoko and the timing fit, but unfortunately, the shop didn’t have a working video system; it was just a black box with a blinking light meant to trick people into thinking there was one. So Kame had no way to know for sure.
And there was no way four different unrelated drug dealers would try to move into the same spot so close together.
This had to be related to the Junno robbery. What the hell was going on in Kizuna’s territory?
Kame promised the owner he’d send some people around to check once a night so that he didn’t have to try to run the drug dealers off himself if they showed back up. What he didn’t mention that it wasn’t so much a plan to run them off as bring them in. The shop keeper… he really didn’t need to know that part. Kame doubted he’d approve.
On the one hand, Kame was happy that Yoko (he had to assume it was him) had not been forced to return to Papa K to get drugs. That… would have been very bad for Kizuna. On the other hand, it only worsened his feelings of guilt over what happened to the man. He would have liked to help him, get him clean. And, not knowing who these dealers were working for or how they figured into what was happening now, it was still pretty dangerous.
He hoped Yoko had been out of it enough to not remember how to get back to Kizuna’s headquarters. He really, really did.
The last of the grocery stores was an uneventful visit but Kame couldn’t get over the nagging feeling he was missing something. Something important. What wasn’t he seeing in all of this?
Damn, there was that headache again.
The last thing he did before leaving the fifth and final grocery store was to buy a newspaper. He was hoping to find Yamashita’s article in it but, strangely, it wasn’t there. Well, it would probably be in tomorrow’s paper. He was probably polishing it, trying to make sure he include as much detail as he could possibly weasel in around Kame’s restrictions.
Yet another thing he hadn’t really wanted to do. But they’d needed his help.
Once they were back at the church, Kame helped Jin and Koki carry in the groceries and they set the street kids to putting away all the food. Reina was still a bit miffed at Koki but eventually she relented when he promised he’d read her favorite book to her again after they got done with the groceries.
Yuya was back from Ryo’s and needed to talk to him.
No rest for the weary.
++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Chapter 52 ~The Problematic Path Home~
A/N: I'm trying to balance out the romantic plot with the pacing of the regular plot so it's taking more chapters than either one alone would. The romance isn't just filler, it's very important... but the other line isn't going very fast at all right now it seems. It's not... I mean, is the regular part kind of boring right now? It'll pick back up, I promise, but since the romance is developing it seems to me like it's overpowering it for now, sorta?
Whatever. As long as you guys are happy.
And it will pick back up. Yuya's back with the list and it'll go from there. THey'll (try to) catch a drug dealer. Things are happening.