[fic] The Things We Can't Control - Chapter 33 ~All the King's Men~

[prettyorianna]

Title: The Things We Can't Control
Author:
prettyorianna
Pairing: Akame.  Others to be added later.
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: crime drama au
Beta by: my cat Gemma.  okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people.  I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks.  But don't steal my plots, mmkay?  I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page.  But I value those too...

Summary:  Two criminals with vastly different styles meet by chance one day.  Can they work together or will they end up destroying each other?

Author's Note:  Well, I wanted this to be longer but it seemed like the perfect cut point so it'll have to do.  Eh, Junno's gone home anyway, now that Tatsuya is safely with Kizuna.  So... enjoy!

BANNER BY DESHISORABA!!

Warning:  This gets graphic often occasionally, containing at the very least foul language, character death, nefarious crimes, rape, etc etc.

The Master Posts:
On my journal - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_ Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the je_kamenashi Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the kattun_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the jin_fics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post



Chapter 33 ~All the King's Men~
Kame and Yoko were in the last group for the return trip, which was generally pretty nerve-wracking but where they waited wasn’t visible from Papa K’s rough trade house and apparently they’d caused enough chaos that they weren’t chased, either.  Who knows, maybe all three men were dead.  Kame hoped to hell that at least Daisuke was, even if the others survived.

Yoko rode in silence, though Kame could still tell the man was on edge.  And he was so thin.  Had he always been that skinny?  Kame tried to remember but ten years was a long time.  It was lucky he recognized him at all, even.  Probably wouldn’t have, if he hadn’t seen Daisuke first.  Seeing… that man… brought thoughts of his past and without those thoughts in mind already, he might not have recognized him.

When they finally made it back to the church, Kame was going to grab some food (there should be some food left over from dinner, assuming the little hellions didn’t eat it all… damn, now even he was calling them that!) and take him to the office to talk.  But Koki rushing towards them as he reached for the knob stopped him.

“No, no, no!  You can’t open that!” Koki was speaking a lot faster than he usually did, practically bowling into the two of them.

But it was his room, right?  Kizuna hadn’t booted him out of the office, as far as he heard.  “Why not?”

“On your mat.  Tat-chan, he’s finally sleeping.  Real sleep.  Please, don’t open the door!”

Kame could hear Yoko behind him let out a bitter laugh.  “He doesn’t care.  Don’t waste your time trying to change that ‘cause it won’t do you a bit of good.”

But he did care.  He cared for the health and safety of every person in the building, including Yoko despite having that falling out so long ago.  He cared that Jin had commandeered his sleeping mat without asking, but he also conceded that, had he been asked, he would have given permission and that moved it from unforgivable to just plain rude.  So all Kame could do was shrug and think to himself how suitable the nickname “Bakanishi” was and how he was just waiting for the perfect chance to use it.

“Are any of the Sunday school rooms empty?” Kame asked Koki.

Koki looked thoughtful for a moment.  “I don’t think so…” he started slowly, “I mean, the large one is no good; people are already asleep.  But I bet I can get the kids to clear out of one of the smaller ones for a while.”

“Thanks.”  And Koki ran on ahead to get the room cleared out while Kame had Yoko follow him in the same general direction only a lot slower.

Yoko was eying him with a strange expression, this mixture of confusion and wariness and need and somehow it was just making Kame feel guilty, like everything wrong that ever happened to the man was his fault.  But that was ridiculous.  He hadn’t seen the man in nearly ten years so objectively he knew that he had almost no part in it.

But when they were in the room and the door was closed, Yoko turned down the food.  “I’m not hungry.”

“But…” and Kame sat there in shock for a second, “you look like you haven’t eaten in a week…”

“I don’t want food right now, okay?  Stop being such a pushy bastard!”

Pushy bastard?

“Fine.  If you won’t eat, then we’ll talk instead.”  Kame sat the food down.  He’d make sure it got back to the kitchen before bed.  “Sit down.”

“What, you don’t have chairs?”

“When did you get so grumpy?  I know that our life wasn’t fun, but you always seemed so… I dunno, I guess in control.  You were… well, I don’t know if any of us were happy but you at least smiled now and again.”

“Yeah, well, what happened to us, that’s all on you.  We all know it.   Everything that came down on us was your fucking fault!”

That tone was a perfect match for the expression and again Kame found himself feeling guilty without even having an idea what they were talking about.  Okay, it was true that he’d killed Ryuichi and that was bound to have had some kind of impact (for all he knew, it was an improvement since they wouldn’t have to worry about Ryuichi’s “price” anymore).  But he just couldn’t understand how it could have been enough to give him the blame of ten years’ worth of misery.  “What?  What did I do?”

“Everyone knows you killed Ryuichi.  Everyone.  And when Papa K found out he was dead, he came looking.  He came looking for you.  You were there, that same afternoon and you didn’t warn us.  You just left!  Papa K never said why he wanted you,” and Kame’s heart practically sang for that part, because it seemed that Yoko really didn’t know he was Papa K’s son, “but he decided that, since Ryuichi was gone, we were all going to have to come work for him.  Some of us were too scared to turn him down, especially after his men beat Hina to death for refusing.  But I wouldn’t go.  Even after that seeing that, I wouldn’t work for him.  They beat me, took me to God only knows where, tied me down, shot me full of drugs and… well, they just kept me like that because then I couldn’t fight back.  They kept me like that for four months.  After that, I was hooked and I guess Papa K thought it was a good enough leash.  And it was, until about a year ago.  He caught me holding out on him and moved me to that hell-hole.”

Oh, god… Hina beaten to death?  Kame hadn’t even noticed him back on the stroll when he’d snatched up his Snoopy and run.  He had no idea the kid was back again.  And, okay, it was true he didn’t really like the boy but he wouldn’t have wished something like that on him.  And a whole year working the rough trade house?  No wonder Yoko was so edgy and confrontational.

Kame had arrogantly believed that his father would be so focused on him that it never occurred to him that his father carried his greed around wherever he went.  Of course he would have seized an opportunity like that!

Why hadn’t he said something, at least, when he went by to grab his Snoopy?  He should have warned them!  Yoko was right.  It really was all his fault.  His fear of being found out and his relief of being taken in by the twins… he had been so selfish.

Biting his lip in an attempt to hold back the tears, Kame shook his head and said, “I’m so sorry, Yoko.  I… You’re right.  This is all my fault…”

“I know.”

“I…” but what, really, do you say once the apologizing is done?  You can’t make it magically better.  The past was permanently etched and no amount of “I should have” will change it.

But then Yoko’s entire demeanor changed.  He still wouldn’t look Kame eye to eye, but he at least was looking him in the face now.  “Can I have some money?”

“Wait, what… money?” Kame stammered, confused at the sudden change.  Was Yoko trying to say that money would make up for ten years of horrible living?

“I…  it’s been nearly two days.  I really, really need the nod…   They wouldn’t give me any…“

Oh, right.  Heroin.  He was talking about heroin.  “You can have food.  We’ll find you somewhere to sleep even if it is really crowded.  But you’ll get no money for drugs and even if you had some, we kicked all the drug dealers out of our territory and we watch out to keep them from setting roots down again.”

That was enough to send Yoko into a rage, shouting, “You’re worse than he is!  He at least gives it to me.  Why the hell did you drag me out of that place if you weren’t going to take care of me?!”  And Kame flinched as Yoko put his fist through the wall.

But enough was enough.  “Sit down!”

“Make me!  Are you still that little weak boy who couldn’t even fight off that scrawny jerk Ryuichi?  You may have gotten in a few lucky licks on me before but you couldn’t take me down even right now.  Tell me, who can’t you fight off nowadays?  I bet half the guys here take their own special piece of you.  Or do you tell yourself it’s what you want so you don’t have to stomach the truth?”

But the shouting was exhausting the man and he finally sank to his knees, arms crossed over his chest, forehead practically touching the floor.  “Please, it’s been almost two days.  I need it,” Yoko cried.  “Please…”

Well, Yoko wouldn’t be the first person Kizuna helped kick a drug habit.  They’d do their best but if Yoko didn’t want to cooperate, there wasn’t much they could do for him, other than locking him up till he gets over withdrawal or just writing him off as lost and letting him go.

And if that happened, it was just a matter of time before Papa K scooped him back up and he led the man straight to the church doors.

No, he’d have to stay.  Kame would just have to find a way to make him want to.

“Stay here tonight and in the morning we’ll talk to some people, okay?  Just make it through tonight…”

Yoko looked incredulous but agreed to give Kame one night, so Kame sent for Koki to find the man a place to sleep.

+++

Kame didn’t look nearly as pissed as Jin expected him to.  To be honest, he expected Kame to demand his whereabouts loudly from anyone in hearing range, storm in, and berate him for putting Tatsuya in his sleeping space.  But Kame looked more weary than anything else.

He remembered at the motel, Kame didn’t get any sleep.  And he remembered that Kame liked to sleep behind a locked door.  Kame’s bed was taken though and Jin really didn’t want to wake up Tatsuya.  But that was okay, because Jin had spent the last hour coming up with a brilliant plan.  So before Kame had a chance to say anything, he hastily rattled off, “I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again, please don’t be mad and please, please, please don’t wake him up!  You can sleep in my spot!  Please?”

Kame just sort of stopped dead in his tracks, blinking.  “Ah… okay?”  His mind was obviously on other things.

Jin tried to think back, to see if he heard something through the earbuds during the mission but he was coming up empty.  It was just, Kame looked more stressed now than he had when they were leaving on their dangerous attempt to free Tatsuya.

“Kame, what’s wrong?” he ask, concerned.  “Everyone made it back safely… well, I mean, the one guy got grazed but that’s been dealt with and it wasn’t a big deal, really.  Is it because I put Tatsuya in your space?”

Sighing, Kame asked him, “How many lives do you think you’ve ruined so far in your life?”  It almost sounded like he was asking himself rather than Jin.

“I don’t know.  I never really thought about it,” Jin admitted.  Did that make him a bad person?  “Um… I wouldn’t say I ruined all that many though I caused a lot of trouble for some people.”

But Kame wasn’t even listening, it seemed.  “It’s never going to be enough, is it…”

Oh, man, Kame was about to start crying and it always made Jin’s heart sort of clinch up uncomfortably.  Snagging ahold of Kame’s arm, Jin dragged him across the kitchen to the back door and then outside.  The fact that Kame let him was not a good sign.

“Talk to me…”

Now Kame was actually crying.  “I want to make up for it all but I can’t.  It’s not enough.  I work so hard and it doesn’t mean a thing.  I can’t give people I hurt back their lives…”  And he looked up at Jin, tears streaming down his face.  “I’m so tired, Jin…”

Jin didn’t know why Kame was telling him (instead of someone from Kizuna) these things since they met less than a week ago, but Jin was glad.  He… he found he actually wanted to be there.  He wanted to be the man Kame could come to.  He wasn’t sure what it all meant, but… he knew it was true.

It probably was a bad idea but Jin pulled Kame into his arms to hold him while he cried and Kame surprisingly let him.  And they stayed like that for a moment, Kame’s face buried in Jin’s shirt, until Kame finally stiffened in his arms.  Pulling away suddenly, he wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand and mumbled something that sounded like, “I shouldn’t have…” and fled back through the door and into the kitchen.

+++

Kame couldn’t believe he just let all that happen.  Not only had he expressed overwhelmingly personal feelings - feelings he’d had a lot recently but hadn’t even told Kizuna about because he didn’t want to burden them - but also he let Jin hold him like that.

Though it had been… well, it felt good, having those arm around him.  There was a lot of comfort to be found in it.

But that was the strangest part because in general, Kame didn’t like to be touched.  Oh, he could tolerate a hand on the shoulder to get his attention or sometime like that.  But the rest of it was off limits.  But Jin arms didn’t make him feel that sort of edgy irritableness he normally felt when he was touched.

By then he was back in the office, trying to close the door back quietly so as to not wake up the man sleeping on his mat.  He locked the door and crept quietly around the desk to Jin’s side.  Removing the knife sheaths, he put them on the floor beside him.

The blanket smelled like Jin already…

Kame suddenly shot straight up suddenly, pulled from a sleep he hadn’t even realized he’d entered.  Someone was there, moving around in the dark in the small office and Kame was pretty sure it wasn’t Tatsuya.  Nobody from Kizuna would be in there after he’d locked the door.  Not one of them.  He was even pretty sure that Jin wouldn’t do it (if he even could).

That meant whoever it was, it was an intruder.

An intruder that, from what Kame could hear, was quite interested in getting to the desk drawers.  As quietly as he could, Kame moved his hand towards the knives.  He pulled one towards him and pulled the sheath off, pushing himself up and slowly edging towards the light switch.  Whoever was in his office had their attention so focused on the drawer they didn’t even realize Kame was awake until he flipped the switch by the door.

Yoko froze as the light suddenly came on.

How did he get in?  Hadn’t Koki…

Wait, did he even tell Koki the man was a heroin addict?

Damn.  He’d been so distracted with guilt at the time he forgot to mention it so they hadn’t taken any sort of precaution against this like they would have otherwise.  Koki probably just believed the man had been drugged by Papa K the same way Ueda was.

“Put down the letter opener and come around the desk,” Kame ordered, knife at the ready.

But Yoko didn’t listen.  He just went back to work on the drawer, glancing nervously back up at Kame every couple seconds.  Kame sighed, crossing the small office as quickly as he could to pull Yoko away from the desk.  Apparently Yoko wasn’t expecting Kame to be so strong because he seemed surprised which gave Kame just long enough to force him to drop the letter opener, which Kame quickly kicked away.

So Yoko started shouting at him again.

And that woke Tatsuya who let out a whimper of pain and rolled on his side to curl up in a ball to shield himself and his head as much as possible.  He said something but Kame couldn’t hear him over Yoko.

But Kame did manage finally to get Yoko to the door, get the door unlocked, and pull the two of them out of the room.

The racket that Yoko was making was drawing a lot of attention, waking people up who naturally wanted to find out what the heck was happening.  Addressing the very first person he laid eyes on, Kame said, “Take him and keep him somewhere and don’t let him go anywhere!  And somebody go get Jin and Koki.  Now!” he snapped irritably as he handed Yoko off.

And now he had a headache.

Lovely.

But Kame supposed it really was his fault for not telling Koki.

+++

The first thing Jin thought as he raced with Koki across the church to the office was that he was going to strangle Kame for waking Tatsuya up.  But it wasn’t really Kame’s fault; there was some other guy, one of the faces from the notebook at the rough trade house, who was screaming at everyone and making a whole hell of a lot of noise right outside the office door.

Still, he and Koki pushed through the people to the office to get to Tatsuya.  What Jin saw once they were in there and had closed the door behind them just broke his heart.  His friend was curled up on his side, all tucked together like he expected someone to start kicking him at any moment.  And when Jin put a hand lightly on his shoulder, Tatsuya uncurled to lay flat on his back, his legs spread apart, face hidden behind his hands.  His entire body was shaking and he just lay there like that, like he was expecting someone to start fucking him any minute now and was terrified.

And that was even more heartbreaking.

So Jin didn’t try to touch him again.  Instead, he spoke, “Tat-chan?  Can you hear me?”

“Tat-chan!  Oh, Tat-chan…” from Koki, who was too overcome with emotions to get much else out, it seemed.

It was Koki’s voice that did it, though.  Tatsuya moved his hands from his face, looking up at Koki while seeming completely oblivious to Jin’s presence there.  “I died… I’m dead?  I’m dead!”  But he didn’t look scared of that in the slightest.

“You’re not dead,” Jin told him.  “Why do you think you’re dead?”

Tatsuya finally noticed him and his expression changed entirely.  “Oh, not you, too, Jin…” and he was crying not in addition to the pained whimpers, “This is all my fault for trying to run…”

“You’re not dead!” from Koki.

Now Tatsuya just looked confused, pushing himself up to sit.  “But… I can see you.”

“Because I’m here.”

Tatsuya shook his head.  “Papa K said he killed you when you tried to run away.  He said you were dead and that if any of us tried to follow your path, we’d end up just as dead only he’d make us suffer more, first…”

“He lied to you.  He lied to me.  That’s all he does, Tat-chan.  He takes and he punishes and he lies,” Koki insisted.  “And he makes us lie, too.  To cops, to other outsiders… even to each other.  You know how he makes us lie!”

“I… I do know, and yet somehow… when he says things and he sounds so sure… it’s hard to doubt him.” Tatsuya murmured softly.

Koki nodded, “I know, Tat-chan.  I know.”  And he threw his arm around Tatsuya, exclaiming, “I’m so glad you’re okay!  When I heard what happened, I was so scared.  I thought… I thought Papa K was gonna kill you and… and…

Jin felt almost like he was intruding.  But Tatsuya was his friend, too…

After a few moments of silence where Jin felt increasingly like an outsider, Tatsuya finally asked, “Where am I?”

“You’re with us now, you’re at Kizuna’s headquarters and I promise we’ll keep you safe.  I promise.  We all promise!”

“Why did everyone…”

But Jin never heard the end of the sentence because he had by then slipped quietly from the room to give Koki and Tatsuya some privacy.  He could always talk to his friend later and Koki seemed to be exactly who he needed at that moment.

Everyone except Kame seemed to have gone back to bed.

Well, if he didn’t bring up what happened outside, they would be okay, right?  They could talk?  Because Jin didn’t want to just leave Kame hanging around in the hallway by himself waiting for the minute he could go back to bed.

“Hey…” he started, leaning against the wall right next to where Kame was.

Kame just sort of watched him for a moment before finally asking, “How is he?”

“Confused and in pain.”

“I can relate…”

“I think we all c-”

But Jin was interrupt by two members of Kizuna approaching, one supporting the other who looked like someone had slugged him hard.  Twice.

“What happened!?” Kame asked, concern clearly evident.

“That man.  I tried... I’m so sorry, Kame but he’s gone!”

+++++++++++++++++++++

The story continues:
Chapter 34 ~The Club~

A/N:  Well, there you go.  What happened on the stroll after Ryuichi's death (Kame really didn't know).  Tatsuya seems fine physcially but it's going to take some time for him to recover emotionally, I think.

Well, next chapter is past!Kame's first day of work, so I will probably get to work on that tomorrow sometime.

Oh, and I hope you enjoyed the slight Akameness.  Inching one step closer to having true Akame!