No Need For Titles
Title: No Need For Titles
Pairing: Demi/Selena
Chapter: 1/?
Rating: PG-13 for disturbing scenes
Summary: AU. Demetria Proudmoore is a servant at the Berecroft Castle. One day, Princess Selena speaks with her. The two girls quickly become forbidden friends and much more in a time when lesbianism was not spoken of.
This is a tale that has to be told. I, Demetria Proudmoore, am a servant at the Berecroft Castle. In that castle resides the royal Berecroft family, and I have been working in that castle since I was about six years old. I am now seventeen, with a younger brother and sister. My little sister, Joan, is seven and she treats me like a mother, though we are not even true sisters. Her mother became pregnant out of wedlock, which is highly looked down upon in these times, and she gave Joan away. I suppose I "adopted" her as my own. My brother, Thomas, is eleven. He is my blood brother, and he always tries to act like he is older than he truly is Other than my two siblings, I am friendless in the castle. My mother died during the birth of Thomas, and my father killed himself. I do not know much about the circumstances of his death, but I intend to investigate what really happened to him. I do not believe that he would commit suicide-instead I believe he was murdered.
I know the family of the castle quite well. The Queen, Taylor Berecroft, is young for a queen and is trapped in what is known throughout the castle as a loveless marriage. Her husband is a bear of a man who likes to get drunk as often as he can. He takes out his anger on his servants and even his family. Many have witnessed the man striking the Queen. The Queen has grown bitter from the marriage. I imagine she was once full of life, but she has been beaten down for so long, there is not much left. Despite the way she treats me, I still admire her greatly. The most interesting of the entire family is the daughter, Princess Selena.
She is sixteen years old, and surprisingly, has yet to marry. However, her father has a favorite suitor by the name of Sir Walter Sparrow. Sir Walter is a knight, and an unkind one at that. He does not care for Princess Selena in the least; he is out for her money and a chance at the crown. But Princess Selena despises him. The only way she can get out of marriage with Sir Walter Sparrow is by finding another man to marry. In these times, marrying is the top priority. If a girl is unmarried when she turns seventeen, she is often sent away to the nunnery. All Sir Walter Sparrow has to do to win Princess Selena as his wife is to participate in the summer joust against another suitor. The winner of the joust will have her hand in marriage, and that will be that. Rumor around the castle is that the princess is frantically searching for another suitor who can defeat Sir Walter in the joust, but not many men are better than he at swordfighting.
It is a typical day until Princess Selena speaks to me. Her voice is sweet, not scolding like her mother's. I am washing the windows at the time, and I feel a soft hand on my shoulder. Turning around, expecting to see the Queen, I am shocked when I see her.
"Good day m'lady," I bow quickly, continuing to wash the window. She gets my attention again, and then smiles.
"Good day. You are doing a splendid job washing that window. Tell me, what is your name?"After she finishes speaking, I am silent. Is this really happening? Why would she be talking to me? In this castle, it is forbidden to speak with servants. I hesitate before answering her question, thinking it would be rude not to.
"My name, Princess, is Demetria Proudmoore. I have been working in your castle since I was six years old." I stand straight, daring to look her in the eye. The Princess smiles again and nods in recognition.
"I really do appreciate your work," She compliments. Before she can continue, the Queen's screeching voice can be heard paired with harsh footsteps. Princess Selena hurries up the stairs as the Queen approaches me, sneer on her face.
"GET BACK TO THE WINDOW WASHING! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY, YOU KNOW!" She screams, slapping me and returning into the kitchen to watch over the cooks. Princess Selena gives me a sympathetic look from the stairs, and hides away in her room.
After I finish scrubbing down the windows, I venture upstairs; to tidy up Princess Selena's solar, which is the term used for the bedroom of a noble. When I arrive in the solar, the Princess is sitting on the bed, reading a book. She sees me, closes the book, and rises from her seat, walking towards me.
"Just tidying up." I explain, getting right to work. The Princess grabs my arm and I do not resist her. I simply stop what I am doing and turn to her, silently asking what it is that she wants. After a moment of waiting, she answers my inward question.
"I would like it if you would sit with me for a spell." When a look of confusion finds its way to my face, she elaborates. "I want you to sit down and talk to me. I know you have work to do, but I promise I shant keep you long. I will even lock the door if you like." At my nod, Princess Selena locks the door and sits down, and I take a seat beside of her. My guess is she is feeling lonely. I certainly do not mind keeping her company, but I am worried that the Queen will catch me not doing my work. However, that worry is much outweighed by my joy, the joy that I am making a friend, no matter who that friend may be.
"Alright." I say, smoothing down my shirt in embarrassment. I hate how beautiful she appears in comparison to me. My clothes are rumpled, my hair a mess, and she sits here looking proper in a dress with her hair well-groomed and her lips painted red.
"The work you do around here is amazing, you know." The Princess speaks slowly and gracefully, every word sounding like a poem. I shrug my shoulders, trying to pay no mind to the compliments she keeps giving me, even though every word she says makes my heart feel like soaring. Finally! To connect to someone again!
"Let us talk about you. After all, you are the one that asked me here." I reply politely, trying not to stare into her brown eyes.
"That I am. Well, as you probably already know, my father is trying to make me marry Sir Walter Sparrow. That man is so dreadful, I do not understand why father insists the way he does. Perhaps the man reminds him of himself. I promised myself that I would not end up like my mother. I believe I would be happy with anyone but Sir Walter Sparrow and I hope that whoever he is jousting with will have sense enough to knock him off of his horse. I simply cannot stand that man." The Princess shudders at the thought.
"Yes, I know about all of this. Best of luck to you. I myself do not fancy Sir Walter Sparrow in the tiniest bit. He is not the nicest man, and certainly would not treat you the way you should be treated."
"And how exactly do you believe I should be treated?" The Princess asks, curiosity lining her velvet voice.
"Like a princess, of course. After all, you are one. But I'm not just saying that because you are a princess, because I believe you are kind. You are a decent person, unlike the rest of your royal family. You are the only one who has ever spoken a kind word to me. Do not take any offense from this, I just believe you are too good for him. You deserve love and happiness." I blush deeply as I finish, not used to sharing my thoughts with others.
"Thank you." The Princess answers politely, placing her hand on top of mine. I flinch for a moment.
"You are most certainly welcome, Princess Selena."
"No, no. No need for titles when it is just the two of us. Please, call me Selena." I cannot call her by her first name. That would be disrespectful. But then all my thoughts are interrupted- she does the oddest thing. The Princess hugs me! It is a warm hug and I do not dare resist, but I do not return it either. When it is over, I pull myself away from her grasp, feeling rather breathless. I get up from the bed and grab my things, unlocking the door and running out as fast as I can. I run into Thomas, who is standing there.
"Why was the door locked, Demetria?" He asks, carrying a pail full of water.
"Keep your mouth shut, Thomas." I say nothing more, rushing down the stairs and continuing the work I am assigned to do for today.
Once I finish today's work, which takes me until past sundown, I decide to retire to bed early. I am exhausted and my dreams show it.
I am carefully wandering in a thick forest, the roots of trees occasionally tripping me up and thorns biting into my bare ankles. I try to look up at the sky, the myriad of trees blocking my view. I start to feel like I am suffocating, but I will myself to push on.
I continue walking, branches cracking under my feet as I realize the trees are thinning. After a few more minutes of exploring I notice a path leading out of the forest, and shakily, I follow it. I make my way out of the stifling claustrophobia and into the wide open plain. The grass is wet with dew beneath my feet, and I laugh aloud with the breeze, staring up at the bright stars with genuine awe. I have never seen this place before.
When I finally tear my gaze away from the sky, I am face to face with the fairest creature I have ever seen. The creature is a girl, but I call her a creature because she looks inhumanly beautiful. She is thin but slightly sculpted, her skin flawless and glowing beneath the moonlight, long flowing dark hair falling to her shoulders. I stop breathing when I glimpse into the creature's eyes - a stunning color of chestnut brown. As quickly as she has come, she disappears..
I awaken from my dream with a start. I do not recognize the grassy plain as anywhere I know and that creature, that girl I saw, was so beautiful I could barely stand it. I know who the girl is, but I try to shake off the feeling I get, that the dream is somehow important, as I get off of my hard cot and rush into the washroom. I quickly reach into the basin and splash water onto my dirty face, pausing to look at myself in the mirror. If I didn't look clean, I would be scolded.
My dark brown hair is messy, and I try my best to comb it out with my fingers. I wash off most of the dirt that plagues my face, but I scrub harder to try and remove the rest. I search my own mahogany eyes for an answer, an escape.
I have been working as a servant in this house for as long as I can remember. My mother had told me that when I was born we had been out there in the real world, free of the confines of our owners' house. But our freedom was taken away, along with my mother's sanity. A few painful years later, the merchant William Crocker, the one who had paid for us, betrayed us. William was hired by the King to choose the servants, buy them and manage them. The King himself is far too busy to find his own workers. I was only six years old at the time and didn't understand what was happening as I came into the living quarters, my mother's harsh screams muffled under his hands as he held her down and did something to her. I know know that he had raped her, and my mother had been driven crazy with shame.
Although my mother had a rough life, she was a religious woman, always trusting in God. When something this awful happened to her, she blamed it on herself, thinking she must have done something to cause it. But my father's reaction was much, much worse. I remember the day of her father's suicide like yesterday. He had escaped the house and ran into the forest on the edge of the property, getting lost in the vast amount of trees. One of the other servants had found him there, floating in the river, his eyes blank and meaningless. Everyone said he committed suicide, but no one was really sure. All I know is that I am terrified of that forest, and yet curious of what lies inside. It is the same forest I dreamt of. Now I remember.
It bothers me how much the other servants despise me and for some reason, William has a particular hatred towards me. It might be because I am white unlike most of the other servants or it could be due to my frequent disobedience. I have always been the type to stand up for myself and sometimes shirk my duties, and I have gotten many lashes for it. I tear myself away from my thoughts when I realize I am running late, hurrying out the door of the quarters and into the loud, familiar kitchen.
"What took ya, Demetria?" My friend Lisbeth asks in a hushed tone. "If the master knows ya were late you are really gonna get it, again. Here," She hands me a pan thick with grease. "Get to work on this. Hopefully no one notices ya were late."
I take the pan, shoving through the dozens of other servants in the kitchen to find a spot at the sink. I begin scrubbing the pan as roughly as I could, feeling triumphant as the grease from this morning's breakfast is washed away. After a few minutes of scrubbing, I rinse the pan and sit it on the edge of the table, jumping in surprise when I spin around to face the master. He is glaring at me, hatred seething in his grey eyes. He grabs my arm and drags me out of the kitchen and into the dining room.
"Late again. I am sick of your excuses. I bought you so you would work for me, not sleep all day. Go out back and get your lashes, then get changed. You'll be working in the fields for the rest of the day." He spits at me, shoving me toward the back door and closer to my grim fate.
I am used to the lashes, I receive almost ten every day. But working in the fields is like torture. The sun is blistering hot, and it scalds me badly. I know it is my own fault, but that does not make me any more accepting of the rest of the day to come. I walk out the door and on a stool sits the man that gives me lashes with the whip practically every day. He gives me a slight smile, unsurprised to be seeing me, and shoves me against the brick wall.
"Ten more, coming up. Miss Demetria, I am starting to think you LIKE getting hit like this," He begins, hitting me five times before continuing. "If you want, I can think of some other more intimate ways to hurt you." He hits me another five times and I spin around, on him in an instant. I pin him against the wall, slapping him senselessly. Moments later I hear a crowd of people rushing towards me, one of that crowd being the master, looking angrier than ever.
"THAT IS IT. You - go to your living quarters for the remainder of the day. No supper tonight. Just go. We do not need you causing any more trouble around here." William screams directly in my face, but it does not faze me. I might actually crack a smile if all the others were not watching me.
"Okay, sir. I want to apologize. But I could not take that man coming onto me. It was my right as a woman to slap him. I do not want to end up at the same fate as my mother, sir." I respond calmly, stepping past William and back into the house. As I am walking into the kitchen, I am approached by the princess. I just began sweeping and she steps closer, taking the broom from my hands and causing me to gaze up at her.
“Hello.” She begins with an uneasy smile. She looks around before she continues, probably making sure no one else is watching. “You live here, yes?” She asks me, and I nod. “This is a rather odd request, but I was wondering if perhaps you would join me tonight on a walk. I typically go out for a walk almost every night, and would love it if you could accompany me." I swallow sharply, staring at her in disbelief. Nervously, I bow.
“I would be honoured, Princess," I pause for a moment, lowering my voice. "I just hope we do not get caught."
She tells me that she has never been caught outside before and that she has been taking walks such as these for years. She sits the broom on the floor gently, absentmindedly taking my hand in hers and squeezing it. I do not pull my hand away, but my face grows red. She lets go of my hand then, trying to reassure me that all would be fine. "We shant get caught! it hasn't happened to me yet. Meet me in the corridor around eleven." Briskly, she leaves the room and I watch her.
She asked me to accompany her on a walk that night, and I had humbly agreed. The more I think about it, the more I grow adamant and afraid of what mighthappen tonight. Perhaps the Princess is befriending me out of pity, because I am the help and she feels bad for me. I am hoping it is not that way at all, because I am starting to develop some feelings for her. She treats me like a person instead of a servant, and that is, well, overwhelming. But the good kind. I smile to myself as I start out the kitchen, humming under my breath. My brother creeps up behind me, raising his eyebrows as he gazes at me.
"What are so happy about?" He eyes me suspiciously, getting down on his knees and scrubbing the floor. I shrug at his question, not willing to tell him what is going on. Thomas has a big mouth, and I know if he found out anything, he would tell someone else, and somehow the royal family would find out. And they cannot find out about this. I will not let them.
I head back to the room, several things going through my mind at once. At least I will not have to go to the fields today. Hunger gnaws at my stomach, but I push it back. I get back onto my cot and stare up at the ceiling, surrendering to thought. I wish someone would save me from this hell. The princess is a temporary distraction and I cannot wait until I meet her later this evening, but it does not change the fact that I hate this place. The tears beckon their way down my face, and my body shakes with a quiet sob. If only my mother was here. I have no one here, not really, and I feel so alone. Day after day for most of my life I put up with the pain and desperation of belonging to someone else. I have such big dreams, dreams of a world where people only belong to themselves. But a place like that does not exist. There is no world where everyone is free to be themselves. There is just my world, dark and twisted as it is, and I long to escape.
I pull my mother's quilt around me, feeling my mother's love fill my body, and the tears stop. I brushed them off of my cheeks and close her eyes, hugging my arms to my chest. My breathing slows, and I begin to dream again. It is the very same dream.
I am walking through the forest again, but this time it is so dark outside that I can barely see anything. But I know the way. I walk until I find the exit, the path leading to the plain. I feel myself pass through something cold but I ignore it, rushing out onto the grass and lying down to look at the sky. I stare longingly at the night sky filled with brilliant stars and imagine myself flying away.
A smile on my face, I am startled when something touches me. I shoot up from my place in the grass, and there it is - the creature, the girl. I gaze at her uncertainly, reaching my hand forward to touch the girl's face. The girl smiles back at me, wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace and lowering me back onto the grass. The two of us lie there for a long while, in each other's arms.
I snap back to reality. Why do I keep dreaming about her? I have been having dreams about the forest and the plain for awhile now, ever since my father had disappeared into the forest and drowned. But what is the significance of the girl? Is she she real, and does she really represent the princess? I am filled with so many questions, I don't know where to start. I sigh, remembering how safe I felt in her arms, and how maybe this girl is the key to my salvation.
I had drifted off to sleep for awhile, and when I woke, it was in a daze. There is no clock in the servant's quarters. I rise from my hard cot and slip quietly out of the quarters, heading towards the corridor where I am to meet the Princess. When I arrive, she is standing there, looking disappointed. Her look of disappointment fades when she sees me, and I follow her swiftly out the window and into the woods. There is a pathway we begin to stroll down, and we walk at a slow pace, enjoying the night breeze.
"It is a splendid evening." The Princess says softly.
"It is." I reply anxiously. I do not much enjoy the dark, and the further we go in the woods, the darker it seems. I feel the Princess' hand in mine and relax, looking at her.
"Let us sit down," She pauses, taking a seat on a stump. I take the stump beside of her, feeling unsure. Our hands are no longer linked, and my fingers are still tingling with her warmth. "This is where I go to think." She explains. I nod, noticing how beautiful she is. Princess Selena has this radiant smile...
"You are amazing." I cannot stop myself. The moment I say this, I feel I should not have. But she looks at me softly, in a way that makes me glad I said it. She pulls me closer to her, capturing my lips in a forbidden kiss. Something like this is forbidden. I am not even sure it has ever occurred. Not only was it shameful for two women to be together, it was even worse if those two women were a princess and a servant. It was unheard of. But still I lean into her, wrapping my arms around her and closing my eyes. It feels nice. When the kiss ends, I feel breathless.
"I wish," She begins but stops herself. "No, that is insane." I tilt her chin up, gazing into her eyes.
"What is it, Princess?" I ask in wonderment. She shakes her head, pulling away from my touch.
"I was going to say, I wish you could be one of my suitors and beat Sir Walter Sparrow in the summer joust, but that is impossible. You are not a knight, and you are not a man. Oh but how I want to be with you. You have strong arms and a stronger heart, and you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen." As she says this, I grow amazed. She is serious. She wants for me to marry her! That does indeed sound crazy, but it also sounds wonderful. I had, in fact, had a few secret lessons once before from a knight. I learned to ride a horse and even how to joust, but I have not since I was a child, and doubt I could win anything, especially against a knight like Sir Walter Sparrow. I wish more than anything I could help Princess Selena, because I know she despises him and would be forever unhappy if they were to wed.