what have i to dread? 2/? [inception]
what have i to dread? 2/?
rated r - arthur/ariadne - inception fic
Sometimes there has to be a ledge to fall off of, when taking a leap of faith.
The steady rise and fall of Arthur's chest awoke Ariadne like a rising tide beneath a ship. Her vision was blurred and unfocused for a few minutes while she stretched and tried to figure out where she was. It was dark outside - she and Arthur had fallen asleep a little after six, she remembered. Reaching over his sleeping form, she flipped open her phone and groaned. 4 AM. Arthur started awake and rolled over, muttering and blinking. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
"Can't now," he said, yawning and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You feeling okay?" Ariadne nodded and closed her eyes, leaning against his chest and taking in the scent of sleep. She jerked back when she heard the sound of the front door being opened and slammed shut. Heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs. "Yusuf," Arthur said. The other bedroom door clicked shut.
"How are you, really?" She could predict the number of things he would say, but most would be lies, or only half-truths. Ariadne fixed him with a steady gaze, trapping him. He rubbed his eyes and fell back onto his pillow, staring at the ceiling. Silence meant thinking. Thinking meant honesty. Or, at least, the start of it. She wanted the truth, but was willing to coax it from him, slowly. She could be patient now.
"Confused, mostly. There's things that I want and there's things that I need, or other people need and I'm stuck between them." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as though he were expelling the worry and fear from his lungs and his body. When he opened his eyes, he looked lighter.
"What do you want?" she asked, propping herself up on her chin. Arthur sighed and shook his head. "Tell me," she insisted.
"I wanted you."
"I'm here," Ariadne said, pushing herself forward and kissing his neck. "I'm not going to disappear. Now tell me. What is it you want?"
Arthur was quiet for a long time. She was getting used to this, all the thinking that went along with nearly every question. His answers meant something more after the silence.
"I want them to have their father back. James and Phillipa. I want them to be some kind of family again." He turned on his side and pushed her hair out of her face, curving his hand around and cupping her chin. "And I don't want to be afraid of doing that anymore."
His answer hung between them, swinging back and forth like some ethereal pendulum, knocking and ringing and reminding them of what needed to be done. Of the time they had left to do it. Arthur turned over and wedged a leg between her thighs, kissing her and pulling her close. His breath was quick and expectant.
"You know what we have to do then," Ariadne murmured when he lowered his lips to her neck, peeling off his shirt she'd been wearing and trailing his hands over her breasts.
"Yeah," he said as she undid the button and zipper of his trousers. "Yeah. I do."
- - -
Ariadne dressed slowly when she awoke again at nine. Arthur was still asleep when she stole from the room cautiously to get ready, running straight into, of all people, Eames.
"Enjoying the trip?" he asked, giving her a shit-eating grin.
"What are you doing here? I thought you'd turned down Saito's hospitality.
"Crashed with Yusuf," he said casually. "The Oak Hotel has a bit of a policy on drunk guests. I wasn't in the mood to deal with the local authorities." He took a long sip of water from a tall glass and shot her another smile. "But you and Arthur seem to be getting on well enough."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she responded airily, moving past him and to her room. Eames chuckled and shook his head.
"Saito wants a decision about Cobb today," he called after her. She froze at the entrance to her room. "So you might want to tell Arthur that. Pass along the message. If you get the chance." He winked and turned in Yusuf's room, shutting the door behind him.
Ariadne thought they'd reached some kind of decision in the night, between wake and sleep. Arthur had never said outright that he would agree to Saito's request - he'd answered her every time she'd asked him with another kiss or a touch to distract her. After their initial encounter in the living room, Arthur had been anxious to get at her again, and Ariadne was all to willing to let him. And it calmed him, it seemed, and that's what she'd wanted. No more shaking or bad nerves. Standing in front of the full length mirror in her room, Ariadne tugged on a summer dress she'd bought during her last week in Paris. It made her feel lighter, with its white, shifting fabric. The color was ironic, this morning, and she smirked at her reflection. Pulling on a sweater, she headed downstairs.
She still found herself impressed by Saito's hospitality - the fridge was stocked with fruits she hadn't had in months. Her stomach growled obnoxiously - she was a stereotypical lay, really. Sex left her starved. And sore. Her thighs ached as she stood on tiptoe to reach the plates. Quickly, she whipped up and scrambled half a dozen eggs and threw some kind of Italian meet into another skillet.
"No pancakes?" She turned around with a start, lost in the ritual of breakfast. Arthur was leaning against the counter, smiling and adjusting his tie. "Smells good."
"Eames is here," she said for some reason. Arthur nodded. "He says Saito wants a decision." Arthur was standing behind her now as she turned back around, a hand trailing down her back. He paused at her words, then pulled away, leaning again on the counter next to her and crossing his arms. "What are you thinking?" she asked, grasping for something, desperate for a look into his mind. Her own was clouded and muddled. She was hungry and wanted to know what was next.
"I think we should give him our answer." He looked at her and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Could you drop again? Would you be willing? You don't have to, you know. Eames and Yusuf and I, we-"
"Don't be stupid," she snapped, lifting the meat onto another plate. "Of course I'm going with you. I was there. I was the last one with him. I'm not backing out now." Moving quickly past him, she set the plates on the table and grabbed an empty one and a fork and began scooping food onto it. "Here," she said. "Eat something. You're skin and bones, it's ridiculous." Arthur took the food with a raised eyebrow and began eating carefully. He didn't pry or wonder what was wrong and she didn't want him to. Truthfully, Ariadne didn't know why she was on edge all of a sudden. It must have been, she thought, the very idea that Arthur would even suggest she stay behind. Hadn't she bee the one to shoot Mal? To kick Fischer off the ledge and leap when she was told to? Hadn't she tried to tell Cobb that it was coming, the kick was coming and they had to find Saito? Wasn't she the one that still dreamed of rushing air and wind that whipped past her, fighting gravity as she fell?
"Hey," Arthur said gently, resting a hand on her elbow. She was shaking, but stilled when he touched her. "I'm sorry. Of course I want you to be there. I just...I don't want to lose anyone. I don't want anyone to lose themselves."
"I know." The thread. That fucking thread. Ariadne buried her face in his shirt and sighed. Arthur was afraid of everyone losing themselves, but with the way he was, she was terrified and haunted by the idea that Arthur might get lost before anyone else.
- - -
Eames did not mention his and Ariadne's hallway encounter to anyone that day. He gave her only one wink, a silent agreement to say nothing. Arthur, it seemed, did not appear interested in pretending nothing had happen. He remained close to her and Ariadne frequently felt a light pressure at her elbow, Arthur's way of reminding her that he was there and he remembered.
Saito didn't mention the day before until after they had a large lunch and were settled down for coffee. "I would like to know where everyone stands on my offer." Arthur glanced around the room. Eames and Yusuf nodded. Ariadne set her face and stared him down until he lowered his head and then raised it again to face Saito.
"We're in. All of us."
"Excellent." Saito smiled. Ariadne noted that he wore the expression of a man who had gotten what he wanted, knowing all along he would get it. There was a tremor of excitement about the room. Feeling everyone together, it was like it had been the first time in the warehouse as a complete team. Ariadne felt a wave of nostalgia and suddenly found herself wide awake. "Tonight, obviously, would be a terrible time to begin. But I would like to discuss, in detail, a plan tomorrow. Nine will be early enough, I believe." Yusuf looked deflated, but nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must retire. It has been...a long day." What Saito had done before they arrive, Ariadne didn't know. They all stood as they were escorted to their car by a young woman with a severely drawn back hairstyle.
"Know any good sushi places around here?" Eames asked, grinning. The girl remained unaffected.
"That is a question better presented to your driver," she said, in a practiced tone. She turned away from them. Something was familiar about her, but she didn't know what.
"That's Saito's daughter," Arthur said quietly as they got in the car. Ariadne didn't ask how Arthur knew that. The severe looking girl turned back into the house and out of sight.
"Come on," Eames said. "Let's go to dinner." He told the driver to take them to a good restaurant. "Don't care which. Let's just do something fun before this whole trip goes to shit." He fished around under the seat and pulled a beer out of the cooler, tossing it to Arthur. Arthur, surprisingly, popped off the cap and took a long drink, handing it to Ariadne.
"I don't like this, really," Yusuf said, pulling out a beer for himself. "The idea makes me nervous."
"Maybe lay off the champagne this time," Ariadne said, handing the beer back to Arthur. Eames chuckled and drained his bottle, lurching forward when the car stopped in front of a sushi restaurant. It was a blur of neon, really, like an iridescent smudge on the cityscape. Ariadne got out of the car on heavy feet, feeling tired and not really all that hungry. She ordered salad and an iced tea.
"Look, I think we need some sort of plan. If this goes south, we're all fucked. And if Saito's not going down, who knows how willing he'll be to fund five loonies lost in Limbo." The waitress brought them their plates and Eames speared some kind of tuna roll on his fork and popped it into his mouth. "I, for one, am about done with all this hospitality."
"Yes," Arthur said, sipping at his wine. "God forbid you accept a single thing from anyone."
"Look, you've not been in my shoes, Arthur. You don't know-"
"No, you're right, Mr. Eames, I don't know what it's like to be stabbed in the back by people I thought were my friends. I'm completely new to this business, really," Arthur snapped back.
"If you're still sore about Belize-"
"Sore? No, not really. Annoyed is a better way of describing my feelings. And not at all surprised."
"When you expect betrayal, don't be all that shocked to find it gets dropped right into your lap," Eames spat.
"Maybe you should take your own words to heart."
"That job was a joke. If you'd listened to me during the week and actually let me explain what I was planning, then you could have had a cut of what I had."
"Oh please. You would have shot me even if I had listened. I nearly dropped because of you."
"Bullshit!" Eames yelled, slamming a fist on the table. "That is bullshit and you know that, Arthur. You know that." He pushed his chair back and stood abruptly. "I'll see you in the morning, everyone. I've had enough stimulating conversation for the evening." He pulled out his wallet and dropped a few bills on the table before storming off. Yusuf watched with mild curiosity and pocketed the money for himself.
"Must have forgotten Saito's paying for this," Yusuf muttered. Ariadne would have thought it was funny if Arthur didn't look so placid that she thought he'd fall out of the chair. His eyes roamed around the room as he absentmindedly drank his wine and ate. Ariadne felt sick and didn't finish. Arthur paid with the credit card Saito had given him and they left. Yusuf split from them with a cheery wave and whistled as he walked downtown. Arthur held the car door open and Ariadne slid in.
"What the hell was that about?" she asked as they drove off.
"Eames and I were on a job together the last time we met, in Belize. He shot me in the kneecaps while we were under, stole the information we extracted, and sold it to a third party."
"And you're still pissed off about it?" Arthur laughed.
"No. I just like to fuck with Eames." Ariadne finally relaxed, smiling and letting Arthur wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her close. He was calm now, and his body was loose and still. She liked him this way. After they were done, she wanted him to be like this all the time, and she wanted to be with him so she could see it. So she could touch him and not be afraid that he would snap like twine beneath her fingers.
Back at the house, Arthur called James and Phillipa in Paris, speaking in quiet French to their grandmother. Ariadne decided not to listen. It was unsettling, for some reason, that Arthur had been providing for the children. She didn't ask him about it, or what he'd been paying for exactly. Who they'd been living with. She could only assume it was still their grandparents, that they were going on just like they had before Cobb had dropped. She thought about Arthur promising them their father would come home -
"I'd like to see what you're thinking about," Arthur said from the doorway to the bathroom. Ariadne had her toothbrush in her mouth with toothpaste spilling over her lips. He smiled and ducked out as she lobbed a wet washcloth at him. When she came into his room, he was sitting up in the bed, eyes closed and hands folded neatly in his lap. "What were you thinking about?" he murmured as she crawled into his lap, straddling his waist and taking his hands in hers.
"You. Really," she said when he scoffed. "About you and the kids." Arthur opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow, looking at her. "You're sending them money."
"I forgot you were an adopted Parisian."
"That's good of you, Arthur. That's sweet."
"It's counterproductive, really. They don't know it's from me." He ran a hand down her side, grazing her hip and trailing down her leg. "They think it's from him." Ariadne froze.
"Oh."
"What am I supposed to tell them? James is seven. You think he understands Limbo and dreamsharing? Or Phillipa? She's nearly twelve. She wants to be normal and she wants to believe her father is out there, working to get home. Not comatose in some tea room in Tokyo. No," he said, shaking his head. "No. I'm...I'm doing what's best for them. It's better they don't know."
"You don't think they could handle it?"
"I don't want to find out whether or not they can."
- - -
Arthur liked to fuck in the morning, but Ariadne was self-conscious about the sun. About him seeing her and looking at her and watching her. In the dark, she was hidden and safe. "You're beautiful," he murmured as the sun was coming up. "Why would you hide from me?" He was far more coordinated than she, his body fluid and sharp, though still as unsettling in appearance as ever. Ariadne came apart under him as Yusuf was stumbling home again. She tried to quiet herself, but Arthur wouldn't let her. "Don't care," he muttered as his thrusts grew sharper and harder until he came.
"You're different than I expected."
"What was it then, that you were expecting?"
"I don't know. I try not to. You know, expect things. I despise disappointment."
"Then you're going to hate me. I'm one huge disappointment. I've never done anything right." He yawned and rolled over, facing her. "Just ask my parents."
"Stop it. That's not what I meant." Arthur chuckled and tossed off the bedcovers. He wasn't ashamed of her seeing him. Arthur didn't bother to hide his bones and angles as he scrounged around the room for clothes. "Guess I should get ready." He nodded, coming over to her side of the bed and sitting down as he pulled on a pair of boxers and pants.
"I know you're in for the long haul," he said. "But if you want...today's the day."
"To give up?"
"It's not giving up, it's-"
"Arthur. I'm willing to take a lot of shit from you, but if you suggest to me one more time that I back out of this, I'm going to be very upset." There was a thinly veiled promise of violence beneath her words, so Arthur just nodded and kissed her forehead before sending her off to get ready. Yusuf was stumbling down the stairs in his usual garb. He gave a weary wave before disappearing from sight. Ariadne was aware of what a mess she looked like - draped in Arthur's shirt and tiptoeing from his room. But Yusuf hardly seemed the judging type, considering his nightly exploits, and there was no Eames to run into this morning, so she felt decidedly better about herself as she made her way to the bathroom and showered off the sex and bed head.
In her room, she pulled on dark pants and a blue sweater, then realized she looked like a rain cloud - drab and dreary and rather reflective of the weather outside. The windows were being pelted with rain. She felt a chill run down her spine after she finished blowing her hair dry. The cold from the outside was leaking indoors, making her long for the warmth of the bed she'd been sharing with Arthur not an hour ago.
He was downstairs already, pouring coffee and shaking his head at something Yusuf said.
"No, not like that. Cobb's Limbo is where he left off. Three levels down, we'll drop."
"Through our old dreams?"
"Not necessarily. I mean, I suppose we could if we wanted to. But, essentially, we just need three levels that will get us safely to Cobb. The original dreams have obviously collapsed." Yusuf nodded and poured milk into his coffee. Arthur pressed a mug in Ariadne's hand and smiled. "What do you think, Miss Architect?"
"I think simplicity. I don't see a point in making three levels of complex cities and side streets. Just...rooms, really. You know?" Arthur nodded. "I mean, we just need to get to him, right? Is that what you did when you were dropping?" Arthur nodded.
"Ah, yes," Yusuf said. "I heard about your little business venture."
"I'd hardly call them ventures. Suicide missions seems much more appropriate."
"Well, we're agreed there," Yusuf replied, lifting his glass in respect and taking a loud sip.
"So we'll just make three levels then," Ariadne said, annoyed that this seemed funny to everyone.
"If we can all agree to it, yes." Arthur seemed less than confident, but Ariadne ignored it. She found herself becoming alternatingly enamored and annoyed with him the past couple of days. The sex was fantastic and he treated less like china and more like the flesh and blood she was, but he retreated into himself at the most inopportune moments. Frowning, she poured herself more coffee and leaned against the countertop.
"Morning, all," said Eames, letting himself in and smiling. "I've decided to put last night's troubles behind us and forgive you all. 'Cept for you, Ariadne. Don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you for shagging Arthur, but hey, he's all yours I guess." He winked at her and gently pried her coffee from her hands. "I hope we were all discussing the seemingly daunting task ahead of us?"
"Three levels in, then we drop, to sum it up," Yusuf said. Eames nodded.
"Sounds good."
"Ariadne suggested simplicity. I think we go with that. We'll need PASIVS there and after the third level, we should drop right along with Cobb. Limbos don't usually shift."
"Only after extreme exposure. But, I mean, we're talking a five, six year coma, like that bloke you helped me with in Toronto last month." Arthur nodded. "Miracle he woke up, really."
"Blew his brains out a week later," Arthur snapped. "So it doesn't count really." Eames sighed.
"Right, well, you did what you could. You've dealt with people in Cobb's situation before. And Saito's little brain machine seems promising, if we can rely on it. I've never trusted mechanical medicine really." He downed the rest of his coffee. "Should we be off then? The ride's out front." His words were heavy, like a sentencing really.
"We're not doing this today," Arthur reassured her, as though her could hear her inhibitions. "We need to prepare, come up with a plan. There's no way we could drop and bring him out in one day. Not after three years down there." If it was supposed to make her feel better, it didn't. The weather had turned even worse since Ariadne had dressed this morning. It was frigid outside and they were going to be late if they didn't take off soon. Yusuf had forgotten his wallet, but Eames shoved him into the car and told the driver to just fucking go. "Honestly, Yusuf. It's like you left your brain back in Mombasa."
"I wasn't in Mombasa. I've been in India, visiting relatives." Then, quieter: "I got sold out."
"No shit?" Eames asked. "By who?"
"Well I don't know, do I? I woke up one morning and I had a gun in my face. Told me to take what I could and get out of the country or I'd be arrested before noon. Gave me an account number and told me to deposit a hundred grand in it and I'd have no troubles."
"And you did that?"
"Well sure. I'm not strapped for cash."
"Not after swiping Cobb's share," Arthur muttered. Yusuf blinked a few times.
"I didn't take it." Arthur's head jerked toward Yusuf and then back to the window. "I swear I didn't. I told Saito to keep it. He's probably still got it, saving it for Cobb."
"Maybe he gave it to the kids," Eames suggested.
"No. I'd know." Arthur's voice was tight and his muscles tensed. Ariadne ran a hand down his spine, but he didn't move. Realizing this was another one of his more retreative moments, Ariadne backed off and questioned Yusuf about India. She'd always wanted to go, see the Taj Mahal, do general tourist things. He was more than happy to give her tips and sight-seeing advice. Where to stay and what-not, but his heart wasn't really in it.
"Truth be told," he said. "It's a hard place to be in. For me. I won't be going back. Probably head back to the states, actually. I've got an apartment in LA." Yusuf smiled and leaned back in his seat, falling away from the conversation. The car grew quiet and Ariadne felt so deeply buried in silence, she wanted to scream. Thankfully the car pulled to a stop in front of Saito's home. His daughter was on the front steps, her face drawn into a deep frown. She couldn't have been any older than Ariadne herself, but she gave off the distinct impression of someone trying very hard to seem much older than she really was.
"Mr. Saito is in the middle of a business meeting that has gone a bit over its scheduled end time. He apologizes for the inconvenience."
"Not a problem, love." Eames winked, but his charm had no effect on the girl. She opened to door to one of Saito's many tea rooms and motioned for them to sit.
"He will join you shortly." A butler set a tray of tea onto a table and began to serve them.
"I'm sorry," Ariadne said quietly. "But do you think you could point me in to direction of the restroom?"
"I'll take you. This house is a maze." It was the closest thing to relaxed that Ariadne had seen the girl. Away from the men, she seemed to lower her guard.
"You're Saito's daughter, right?" She nodded curtly. "I'm-"
"Ariadne. Yes. I know who you are." There was a pause. "My name is Akemi."
"That's lovely," Ariadne said, borrowing Arthur's word. "Do you usually work for your father?"
"When I'm in the country, yes. But I suppose since I'm here permanently, I'll have to find a job or continue working for him." The last option seemed to make her ill and she turned her face away and pointed to a thick oak door. "Here. I trust you can find your way back?" The walls were back up. Akemi didn't wait for an answer and walked quickly down the hall and away from them all. Ariadne had the urge to follow her, or maybe just walk out the door. Pretend she was never there. The ache she had for Arthur would go away, in time. Her desert could swallow it, surely.
Instead, she went back into the room and watched Arthur and Eames bicker about tea and Limbo.
- - -
The plan was laid out that afternoon, amidst a fog of words and cigarette smoke. Ariadne had one too many glasses of scotch - Arthur had four too many, but managed himself fairly well.
"What if we're there?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.
"We...we will be, Arthur," Eames said, looking at him oddly.
"No. I mean...projections of us. We were the last people with him. Cobb might...project us. Into his Limbo."
"If there's anything there. The man could be wasting away in virtually nothing for all we know."
"That's not like him."
"People change in Limbo. You of all people should understand that, Arthur." Arthur's face was blank. "No, you're right," Eames said, back-tracking. "I could teach you to forge."
"That could take months."
"Well, what do you want from me? You're not stupid. Yusuf already knows how."
"I'm shit at it."
"Doesn't matter. You've got the basics. And you two are sharp enough," Eames said, jerking his head toward Arthur and Ariadne. "'Specially her. She could pick it up fast, eh Ari?" Ariadne gave him a weak smile. Her head was pounding.
"It's been a long day," Arthur said, standing quickly. "I think we've all had enough. If you're willing to teach, tomorrow we learn to forge."
Eames agreed and he and Yusuf took off. Ariadne didn't understand how they could operate on almost no sleep, but was distracted by Arthur's hand on her waist. They'd both had too much to drink and Ariadne was burning inside with the need to touch him, really feel him.
They got into the car and Arthur snapped the partition between them and the drive shut and turned on the radio. The feeling, apparently, was mutual. His mouth was on hers in seconds and his fingers were less than graceful as they undid the buttons of her pants, fingers playing between her legs and moving into her awkwardly. Ariadne tensed at the movement and gasped, gripping Arthur's neck as he kissed her collar bone and nosed her sweater off her shoulder. "Couldn't wait for ten minutes?"
"Shh. I'm enjoying this." Ariadne laughed and leaned her head back, giving him better access as she lost herself in the rapid motions of his hand. He thumbed her clit and she lost herself, already tensed and ready from sitting too close to him in Saito's meeting. A few minutes later, the car came to a stop and Arthur didn't even blush as he brushed his wet fingers over her lips. Ariadne was embarrassed enough for them both as she righted herself and stumbled out of the car with him. The driver didn't look at them as he sped off. "I'm exhausted," Arthur murmured, pulling the key on its ribbon from his pocket.
"I don't want you to drink anymore during the trip," Ariadne said as Arthur got undressed in his room.
"I appreciate that you care, Ariadne, but I'm fine."
"No, you're not. And if you think I wasn't counting, I was."
"I didn't see you saying no to another glass or two."
"Arthur. I'm serious."
"Ariadne. I'm not actually you're boyfriend right now, okay? So you can drop this whole sincere and caring loved one thing. Because I don't need it." Ariadne knew she shouldn't have felt so attached to him. But ever since that first night, he'd been holding her and touching her and making her feel like there was something. "What?"
"Nothing. I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Arthur stepped closer and ran a hand through her hair.
"You look tired."
"I am." He pulled her close and kissed her. She felt the bottom of a lot of things drop out.
"Come to bed." There was a bad taste in her mouth, but Ariadne realized then that she wanted Arthur more than she wanted to tell him to fuck off. She wanted to fuck him more than she wanted to hit him. And it scared her, really, that she was willing, after all this, to still hand over any last shred of dignity she had over to him without argument.
I wanted you, he'd said. She couldn't say, now, what that really meant.
When this was over, she'd go back to her desert and dry out. She'd say goodbye to the past. She'd leave it all behind.
rated r - arthur/ariadne - inception fic
Sometimes there has to be a ledge to fall off of, when taking a leap of faith.
The steady rise and fall of Arthur's chest awoke Ariadne like a rising tide beneath a ship. Her vision was blurred and unfocused for a few minutes while she stretched and tried to figure out where she was. It was dark outside - she and Arthur had fallen asleep a little after six, she remembered. Reaching over his sleeping form, she flipped open her phone and groaned. 4 AM. Arthur started awake and rolled over, muttering and blinking. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
"Can't now," he said, yawning and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You feeling okay?" Ariadne nodded and closed her eyes, leaning against his chest and taking in the scent of sleep. She jerked back when she heard the sound of the front door being opened and slammed shut. Heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs. "Yusuf," Arthur said. The other bedroom door clicked shut.
"How are you, really?" She could predict the number of things he would say, but most would be lies, or only half-truths. Ariadne fixed him with a steady gaze, trapping him. He rubbed his eyes and fell back onto his pillow, staring at the ceiling. Silence meant thinking. Thinking meant honesty. Or, at least, the start of it. She wanted the truth, but was willing to coax it from him, slowly. She could be patient now.
"Confused, mostly. There's things that I want and there's things that I need, or other people need and I'm stuck between them." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as though he were expelling the worry and fear from his lungs and his body. When he opened his eyes, he looked lighter.
"What do you want?" she asked, propping herself up on her chin. Arthur sighed and shook his head. "Tell me," she insisted.
"I wanted you."
"I'm here," Ariadne said, pushing herself forward and kissing his neck. "I'm not going to disappear. Now tell me. What is it you want?"
Arthur was quiet for a long time. She was getting used to this, all the thinking that went along with nearly every question. His answers meant something more after the silence.
"I want them to have their father back. James and Phillipa. I want them to be some kind of family again." He turned on his side and pushed her hair out of her face, curving his hand around and cupping her chin. "And I don't want to be afraid of doing that anymore."
His answer hung between them, swinging back and forth like some ethereal pendulum, knocking and ringing and reminding them of what needed to be done. Of the time they had left to do it. Arthur turned over and wedged a leg between her thighs, kissing her and pulling her close. His breath was quick and expectant.
"You know what we have to do then," Ariadne murmured when he lowered his lips to her neck, peeling off his shirt she'd been wearing and trailing his hands over her breasts.
"Yeah," he said as she undid the button and zipper of his trousers. "Yeah. I do."
- - -
Ariadne dressed slowly when she awoke again at nine. Arthur was still asleep when she stole from the room cautiously to get ready, running straight into, of all people, Eames.
"Enjoying the trip?" he asked, giving her a shit-eating grin.
"What are you doing here? I thought you'd turned down Saito's hospitality.
"Crashed with Yusuf," he said casually. "The Oak Hotel has a bit of a policy on drunk guests. I wasn't in the mood to deal with the local authorities." He took a long sip of water from a tall glass and shot her another smile. "But you and Arthur seem to be getting on well enough."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she responded airily, moving past him and to her room. Eames chuckled and shook his head.
"Saito wants a decision about Cobb today," he called after her. She froze at the entrance to her room. "So you might want to tell Arthur that. Pass along the message. If you get the chance." He winked and turned in Yusuf's room, shutting the door behind him.
Ariadne thought they'd reached some kind of decision in the night, between wake and sleep. Arthur had never said outright that he would agree to Saito's request - he'd answered her every time she'd asked him with another kiss or a touch to distract her. After their initial encounter in the living room, Arthur had been anxious to get at her again, and Ariadne was all to willing to let him. And it calmed him, it seemed, and that's what she'd wanted. No more shaking or bad nerves. Standing in front of the full length mirror in her room, Ariadne tugged on a summer dress she'd bought during her last week in Paris. It made her feel lighter, with its white, shifting fabric. The color was ironic, this morning, and she smirked at her reflection. Pulling on a sweater, she headed downstairs.
She still found herself impressed by Saito's hospitality - the fridge was stocked with fruits she hadn't had in months. Her stomach growled obnoxiously - she was a stereotypical lay, really. Sex left her starved. And sore. Her thighs ached as she stood on tiptoe to reach the plates. Quickly, she whipped up and scrambled half a dozen eggs and threw some kind of Italian meet into another skillet.
"No pancakes?" She turned around with a start, lost in the ritual of breakfast. Arthur was leaning against the counter, smiling and adjusting his tie. "Smells good."
"Eames is here," she said for some reason. Arthur nodded. "He says Saito wants a decision." Arthur was standing behind her now as she turned back around, a hand trailing down her back. He paused at her words, then pulled away, leaning again on the counter next to her and crossing his arms. "What are you thinking?" she asked, grasping for something, desperate for a look into his mind. Her own was clouded and muddled. She was hungry and wanted to know what was next.
"I think we should give him our answer." He looked at her and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Could you drop again? Would you be willing? You don't have to, you know. Eames and Yusuf and I, we-"
"Don't be stupid," she snapped, lifting the meat onto another plate. "Of course I'm going with you. I was there. I was the last one with him. I'm not backing out now." Moving quickly past him, she set the plates on the table and grabbed an empty one and a fork and began scooping food onto it. "Here," she said. "Eat something. You're skin and bones, it's ridiculous." Arthur took the food with a raised eyebrow and began eating carefully. He didn't pry or wonder what was wrong and she didn't want him to. Truthfully, Ariadne didn't know why she was on edge all of a sudden. It must have been, she thought, the very idea that Arthur would even suggest she stay behind. Hadn't she bee the one to shoot Mal? To kick Fischer off the ledge and leap when she was told to? Hadn't she tried to tell Cobb that it was coming, the kick was coming and they had to find Saito? Wasn't she the one that still dreamed of rushing air and wind that whipped past her, fighting gravity as she fell?
"Hey," Arthur said gently, resting a hand on her elbow. She was shaking, but stilled when he touched her. "I'm sorry. Of course I want you to be there. I just...I don't want to lose anyone. I don't want anyone to lose themselves."
"I know." The thread. That fucking thread. Ariadne buried her face in his shirt and sighed. Arthur was afraid of everyone losing themselves, but with the way he was, she was terrified and haunted by the idea that Arthur might get lost before anyone else.
- - -
Eames did not mention his and Ariadne's hallway encounter to anyone that day. He gave her only one wink, a silent agreement to say nothing. Arthur, it seemed, did not appear interested in pretending nothing had happen. He remained close to her and Ariadne frequently felt a light pressure at her elbow, Arthur's way of reminding her that he was there and he remembered.
Saito didn't mention the day before until after they had a large lunch and were settled down for coffee. "I would like to know where everyone stands on my offer." Arthur glanced around the room. Eames and Yusuf nodded. Ariadne set her face and stared him down until he lowered his head and then raised it again to face Saito.
"We're in. All of us."
"Excellent." Saito smiled. Ariadne noted that he wore the expression of a man who had gotten what he wanted, knowing all along he would get it. There was a tremor of excitement about the room. Feeling everyone together, it was like it had been the first time in the warehouse as a complete team. Ariadne felt a wave of nostalgia and suddenly found herself wide awake. "Tonight, obviously, would be a terrible time to begin. But I would like to discuss, in detail, a plan tomorrow. Nine will be early enough, I believe." Yusuf looked deflated, but nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must retire. It has been...a long day." What Saito had done before they arrive, Ariadne didn't know. They all stood as they were escorted to their car by a young woman with a severely drawn back hairstyle.
"Know any good sushi places around here?" Eames asked, grinning. The girl remained unaffected.
"That is a question better presented to your driver," she said, in a practiced tone. She turned away from them. Something was familiar about her, but she didn't know what.
"That's Saito's daughter," Arthur said quietly as they got in the car. Ariadne didn't ask how Arthur knew that. The severe looking girl turned back into the house and out of sight.
"Come on," Eames said. "Let's go to dinner." He told the driver to take them to a good restaurant. "Don't care which. Let's just do something fun before this whole trip goes to shit." He fished around under the seat and pulled a beer out of the cooler, tossing it to Arthur. Arthur, surprisingly, popped off the cap and took a long drink, handing it to Ariadne.
"I don't like this, really," Yusuf said, pulling out a beer for himself. "The idea makes me nervous."
"Maybe lay off the champagne this time," Ariadne said, handing the beer back to Arthur. Eames chuckled and drained his bottle, lurching forward when the car stopped in front of a sushi restaurant. It was a blur of neon, really, like an iridescent smudge on the cityscape. Ariadne got out of the car on heavy feet, feeling tired and not really all that hungry. She ordered salad and an iced tea.
"Look, I think we need some sort of plan. If this goes south, we're all fucked. And if Saito's not going down, who knows how willing he'll be to fund five loonies lost in Limbo." The waitress brought them their plates and Eames speared some kind of tuna roll on his fork and popped it into his mouth. "I, for one, am about done with all this hospitality."
"Yes," Arthur said, sipping at his wine. "God forbid you accept a single thing from anyone."
"Look, you've not been in my shoes, Arthur. You don't know-"
"No, you're right, Mr. Eames, I don't know what it's like to be stabbed in the back by people I thought were my friends. I'm completely new to this business, really," Arthur snapped back.
"If you're still sore about Belize-"
"Sore? No, not really. Annoyed is a better way of describing my feelings. And not at all surprised."
"When you expect betrayal, don't be all that shocked to find it gets dropped right into your lap," Eames spat.
"Maybe you should take your own words to heart."
"That job was a joke. If you'd listened to me during the week and actually let me explain what I was planning, then you could have had a cut of what I had."
"Oh please. You would have shot me even if I had listened. I nearly dropped because of you."
"Bullshit!" Eames yelled, slamming a fist on the table. "That is bullshit and you know that, Arthur. You know that." He pushed his chair back and stood abruptly. "I'll see you in the morning, everyone. I've had enough stimulating conversation for the evening." He pulled out his wallet and dropped a few bills on the table before storming off. Yusuf watched with mild curiosity and pocketed the money for himself.
"Must have forgotten Saito's paying for this," Yusuf muttered. Ariadne would have thought it was funny if Arthur didn't look so placid that she thought he'd fall out of the chair. His eyes roamed around the room as he absentmindedly drank his wine and ate. Ariadne felt sick and didn't finish. Arthur paid with the credit card Saito had given him and they left. Yusuf split from them with a cheery wave and whistled as he walked downtown. Arthur held the car door open and Ariadne slid in.
"What the hell was that about?" she asked as they drove off.
"Eames and I were on a job together the last time we met, in Belize. He shot me in the kneecaps while we were under, stole the information we extracted, and sold it to a third party."
"And you're still pissed off about it?" Arthur laughed.
"No. I just like to fuck with Eames." Ariadne finally relaxed, smiling and letting Arthur wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her close. He was calm now, and his body was loose and still. She liked him this way. After they were done, she wanted him to be like this all the time, and she wanted to be with him so she could see it. So she could touch him and not be afraid that he would snap like twine beneath her fingers.
Back at the house, Arthur called James and Phillipa in Paris, speaking in quiet French to their grandmother. Ariadne decided not to listen. It was unsettling, for some reason, that Arthur had been providing for the children. She didn't ask him about it, or what he'd been paying for exactly. Who they'd been living with. She could only assume it was still their grandparents, that they were going on just like they had before Cobb had dropped. She thought about Arthur promising them their father would come home -
"I'd like to see what you're thinking about," Arthur said from the doorway to the bathroom. Ariadne had her toothbrush in her mouth with toothpaste spilling over her lips. He smiled and ducked out as she lobbed a wet washcloth at him. When she came into his room, he was sitting up in the bed, eyes closed and hands folded neatly in his lap. "What were you thinking about?" he murmured as she crawled into his lap, straddling his waist and taking his hands in hers.
"You. Really," she said when he scoffed. "About you and the kids." Arthur opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow, looking at her. "You're sending them money."
"I forgot you were an adopted Parisian."
"That's good of you, Arthur. That's sweet."
"It's counterproductive, really. They don't know it's from me." He ran a hand down her side, grazing her hip and trailing down her leg. "They think it's from him." Ariadne froze.
"Oh."
"What am I supposed to tell them? James is seven. You think he understands Limbo and dreamsharing? Or Phillipa? She's nearly twelve. She wants to be normal and she wants to believe her father is out there, working to get home. Not comatose in some tea room in Tokyo. No," he said, shaking his head. "No. I'm...I'm doing what's best for them. It's better they don't know."
"You don't think they could handle it?"
"I don't want to find out whether or not they can."
- - -
Arthur liked to fuck in the morning, but Ariadne was self-conscious about the sun. About him seeing her and looking at her and watching her. In the dark, she was hidden and safe. "You're beautiful," he murmured as the sun was coming up. "Why would you hide from me?" He was far more coordinated than she, his body fluid and sharp, though still as unsettling in appearance as ever. Ariadne came apart under him as Yusuf was stumbling home again. She tried to quiet herself, but Arthur wouldn't let her. "Don't care," he muttered as his thrusts grew sharper and harder until he came.
"You're different than I expected."
"What was it then, that you were expecting?"
"I don't know. I try not to. You know, expect things. I despise disappointment."
"Then you're going to hate me. I'm one huge disappointment. I've never done anything right." He yawned and rolled over, facing her. "Just ask my parents."
"Stop it. That's not what I meant." Arthur chuckled and tossed off the bedcovers. He wasn't ashamed of her seeing him. Arthur didn't bother to hide his bones and angles as he scrounged around the room for clothes. "Guess I should get ready." He nodded, coming over to her side of the bed and sitting down as he pulled on a pair of boxers and pants.
"I know you're in for the long haul," he said. "But if you want...today's the day."
"To give up?"
"It's not giving up, it's-"
"Arthur. I'm willing to take a lot of shit from you, but if you suggest to me one more time that I back out of this, I'm going to be very upset." There was a thinly veiled promise of violence beneath her words, so Arthur just nodded and kissed her forehead before sending her off to get ready. Yusuf was stumbling down the stairs in his usual garb. He gave a weary wave before disappearing from sight. Ariadne was aware of what a mess she looked like - draped in Arthur's shirt and tiptoeing from his room. But Yusuf hardly seemed the judging type, considering his nightly exploits, and there was no Eames to run into this morning, so she felt decidedly better about herself as she made her way to the bathroom and showered off the sex and bed head.
In her room, she pulled on dark pants and a blue sweater, then realized she looked like a rain cloud - drab and dreary and rather reflective of the weather outside. The windows were being pelted with rain. She felt a chill run down her spine after she finished blowing her hair dry. The cold from the outside was leaking indoors, making her long for the warmth of the bed she'd been sharing with Arthur not an hour ago.
He was downstairs already, pouring coffee and shaking his head at something Yusuf said.
"No, not like that. Cobb's Limbo is where he left off. Three levels down, we'll drop."
"Through our old dreams?"
"Not necessarily. I mean, I suppose we could if we wanted to. But, essentially, we just need three levels that will get us safely to Cobb. The original dreams have obviously collapsed." Yusuf nodded and poured milk into his coffee. Arthur pressed a mug in Ariadne's hand and smiled. "What do you think, Miss Architect?"
"I think simplicity. I don't see a point in making three levels of complex cities and side streets. Just...rooms, really. You know?" Arthur nodded. "I mean, we just need to get to him, right? Is that what you did when you were dropping?" Arthur nodded.
"Ah, yes," Yusuf said. "I heard about your little business venture."
"I'd hardly call them ventures. Suicide missions seems much more appropriate."
"Well, we're agreed there," Yusuf replied, lifting his glass in respect and taking a loud sip.
"So we'll just make three levels then," Ariadne said, annoyed that this seemed funny to everyone.
"If we can all agree to it, yes." Arthur seemed less than confident, but Ariadne ignored it. She found herself becoming alternatingly enamored and annoyed with him the past couple of days. The sex was fantastic and he treated less like china and more like the flesh and blood she was, but he retreated into himself at the most inopportune moments. Frowning, she poured herself more coffee and leaned against the countertop.
"Morning, all," said Eames, letting himself in and smiling. "I've decided to put last night's troubles behind us and forgive you all. 'Cept for you, Ariadne. Don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you for shagging Arthur, but hey, he's all yours I guess." He winked at her and gently pried her coffee from her hands. "I hope we were all discussing the seemingly daunting task ahead of us?"
"Three levels in, then we drop, to sum it up," Yusuf said. Eames nodded.
"Sounds good."
"Ariadne suggested simplicity. I think we go with that. We'll need PASIVS there and after the third level, we should drop right along with Cobb. Limbos don't usually shift."
"Only after extreme exposure. But, I mean, we're talking a five, six year coma, like that bloke you helped me with in Toronto last month." Arthur nodded. "Miracle he woke up, really."
"Blew his brains out a week later," Arthur snapped. "So it doesn't count really." Eames sighed.
"Right, well, you did what you could. You've dealt with people in Cobb's situation before. And Saito's little brain machine seems promising, if we can rely on it. I've never trusted mechanical medicine really." He downed the rest of his coffee. "Should we be off then? The ride's out front." His words were heavy, like a sentencing really.
"We're not doing this today," Arthur reassured her, as though her could hear her inhibitions. "We need to prepare, come up with a plan. There's no way we could drop and bring him out in one day. Not after three years down there." If it was supposed to make her feel better, it didn't. The weather had turned even worse since Ariadne had dressed this morning. It was frigid outside and they were going to be late if they didn't take off soon. Yusuf had forgotten his wallet, but Eames shoved him into the car and told the driver to just fucking go. "Honestly, Yusuf. It's like you left your brain back in Mombasa."
"I wasn't in Mombasa. I've been in India, visiting relatives." Then, quieter: "I got sold out."
"No shit?" Eames asked. "By who?"
"Well I don't know, do I? I woke up one morning and I had a gun in my face. Told me to take what I could and get out of the country or I'd be arrested before noon. Gave me an account number and told me to deposit a hundred grand in it and I'd have no troubles."
"And you did that?"
"Well sure. I'm not strapped for cash."
"Not after swiping Cobb's share," Arthur muttered. Yusuf blinked a few times.
"I didn't take it." Arthur's head jerked toward Yusuf and then back to the window. "I swear I didn't. I told Saito to keep it. He's probably still got it, saving it for Cobb."
"Maybe he gave it to the kids," Eames suggested.
"No. I'd know." Arthur's voice was tight and his muscles tensed. Ariadne ran a hand down his spine, but he didn't move. Realizing this was another one of his more retreative moments, Ariadne backed off and questioned Yusuf about India. She'd always wanted to go, see the Taj Mahal, do general tourist things. He was more than happy to give her tips and sight-seeing advice. Where to stay and what-not, but his heart wasn't really in it.
"Truth be told," he said. "It's a hard place to be in. For me. I won't be going back. Probably head back to the states, actually. I've got an apartment in LA." Yusuf smiled and leaned back in his seat, falling away from the conversation. The car grew quiet and Ariadne felt so deeply buried in silence, she wanted to scream. Thankfully the car pulled to a stop in front of Saito's home. His daughter was on the front steps, her face drawn into a deep frown. She couldn't have been any older than Ariadne herself, but she gave off the distinct impression of someone trying very hard to seem much older than she really was.
"Mr. Saito is in the middle of a business meeting that has gone a bit over its scheduled end time. He apologizes for the inconvenience."
"Not a problem, love." Eames winked, but his charm had no effect on the girl. She opened to door to one of Saito's many tea rooms and motioned for them to sit.
"He will join you shortly." A butler set a tray of tea onto a table and began to serve them.
"I'm sorry," Ariadne said quietly. "But do you think you could point me in to direction of the restroom?"
"I'll take you. This house is a maze." It was the closest thing to relaxed that Ariadne had seen the girl. Away from the men, she seemed to lower her guard.
"You're Saito's daughter, right?" She nodded curtly. "I'm-"
"Ariadne. Yes. I know who you are." There was a pause. "My name is Akemi."
"That's lovely," Ariadne said, borrowing Arthur's word. "Do you usually work for your father?"
"When I'm in the country, yes. But I suppose since I'm here permanently, I'll have to find a job or continue working for him." The last option seemed to make her ill and she turned her face away and pointed to a thick oak door. "Here. I trust you can find your way back?" The walls were back up. Akemi didn't wait for an answer and walked quickly down the hall and away from them all. Ariadne had the urge to follow her, or maybe just walk out the door. Pretend she was never there. The ache she had for Arthur would go away, in time. Her desert could swallow it, surely.
Instead, she went back into the room and watched Arthur and Eames bicker about tea and Limbo.
- - -
The plan was laid out that afternoon, amidst a fog of words and cigarette smoke. Ariadne had one too many glasses of scotch - Arthur had four too many, but managed himself fairly well.
"What if we're there?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.
"We...we will be, Arthur," Eames said, looking at him oddly.
"No. I mean...projections of us. We were the last people with him. Cobb might...project us. Into his Limbo."
"If there's anything there. The man could be wasting away in virtually nothing for all we know."
"That's not like him."
"People change in Limbo. You of all people should understand that, Arthur." Arthur's face was blank. "No, you're right," Eames said, back-tracking. "I could teach you to forge."
"That could take months."
"Well, what do you want from me? You're not stupid. Yusuf already knows how."
"I'm shit at it."
"Doesn't matter. You've got the basics. And you two are sharp enough," Eames said, jerking his head toward Arthur and Ariadne. "'Specially her. She could pick it up fast, eh Ari?" Ariadne gave him a weak smile. Her head was pounding.
"It's been a long day," Arthur said, standing quickly. "I think we've all had enough. If you're willing to teach, tomorrow we learn to forge."
Eames agreed and he and Yusuf took off. Ariadne didn't understand how they could operate on almost no sleep, but was distracted by Arthur's hand on her waist. They'd both had too much to drink and Ariadne was burning inside with the need to touch him, really feel him.
They got into the car and Arthur snapped the partition between them and the drive shut and turned on the radio. The feeling, apparently, was mutual. His mouth was on hers in seconds and his fingers were less than graceful as they undid the buttons of her pants, fingers playing between her legs and moving into her awkwardly. Ariadne tensed at the movement and gasped, gripping Arthur's neck as he kissed her collar bone and nosed her sweater off her shoulder. "Couldn't wait for ten minutes?"
"Shh. I'm enjoying this." Ariadne laughed and leaned her head back, giving him better access as she lost herself in the rapid motions of his hand. He thumbed her clit and she lost herself, already tensed and ready from sitting too close to him in Saito's meeting. A few minutes later, the car came to a stop and Arthur didn't even blush as he brushed his wet fingers over her lips. Ariadne was embarrassed enough for them both as she righted herself and stumbled out of the car with him. The driver didn't look at them as he sped off. "I'm exhausted," Arthur murmured, pulling the key on its ribbon from his pocket.
"I don't want you to drink anymore during the trip," Ariadne said as Arthur got undressed in his room.
"I appreciate that you care, Ariadne, but I'm fine."
"No, you're not. And if you think I wasn't counting, I was."
"I didn't see you saying no to another glass or two."
"Arthur. I'm serious."
"Ariadne. I'm not actually you're boyfriend right now, okay? So you can drop this whole sincere and caring loved one thing. Because I don't need it." Ariadne knew she shouldn't have felt so attached to him. But ever since that first night, he'd been holding her and touching her and making her feel like there was something. "What?"
"Nothing. I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Arthur stepped closer and ran a hand through her hair.
"You look tired."
"I am." He pulled her close and kissed her. She felt the bottom of a lot of things drop out.
"Come to bed." There was a bad taste in her mouth, but Ariadne realized then that she wanted Arthur more than she wanted to tell him to fuck off. She wanted to fuck him more than she wanted to hit him. And it scared her, really, that she was willing, after all this, to still hand over any last shred of dignity she had over to him without argument.
I wanted you, he'd said. She couldn't say, now, what that really meant.
When this was over, she'd go back to her desert and dry out. She'd say goodbye to the past. She'd leave it all behind.