if in terror i do wake [supernatural]
if in terror i do wake
rated pg-13 - castiel, lucifer, mother, lucifer/mother - supernatural fic
Any good soldier knows, the word of the captain is final.
When Dean asks, Castiel can hardly say. All he knows is this: hide the Winchesters, protect them.
They are our last hope.
It is the first time his Father has spoken to him, and Castiel must listen. The voice of his Father fills him with awe and dread as it trembles through his Grace to the very core of his being. And there is planted the seed for his actions.
They are our last hope.
Dean hates to be in the dark, and Castiel knows it. Sam swallows and glances at his own chest.
"The sigils won't help you now."
"It's her, isn't it?"
"Has it been anything else these past months?"
"Look, if we're a part of this, then I'm not hiding, Cas. I want to face that bitch, head on."
"You can't. God will not allow it. You are needed in the battle. For now, you must hide."
"Fucking-"
"Dean. Just...let's just go." Sam presses a hand to Dean's shoulder and his brother eases a bit, still fixing Cas with a look of rage that is usually reserved for the angel specifically. Castiel can only urge them to go, to lock themselves away in the location determined by the Lord and remind them not to speak to anyone.
"Do not stop. Do not rest. Do not speak until you are here." He presses the address into Dean's palm.
"Will you be able to find us?"
"If that is what God wishes."
"But you know where we'll be."
"The secret is buried deep within my Grace. I and the Lord are the only two who know of your location. You are protected."
When God came to Castiel, he was sitting with the Winchesters, riding along the interstate, somewhere between Missouri and Arkansas. He felt his Grace grow ice-cold and Dean muttered something about the busted AC in the Impala. Sam swatted his hand away from the controls, but Castiel was already gone. He could feel something wrapping around every thought and there was such wonder in the voice that came to him, he thought he'd die from the beauty.
Castiel.
He knew the voice the moment it spoke. All his years of believing, all his faith - it had given him trust. Trust in his Creator, trust in his Father. He nodded, willing the voice to speak again.
Of my children, you have been one of the most faithful. Time and time again, I have resurrected you and returned you to Earth, so that you may protect your charges. I must ask you this now: hide the Winchesters. Protect them. Keep them safe at whatever cost. Castiel feels a grain of knowledge fill his Grace. Take them here.
They are our last hope.
It should be unsettling, he supposes, that the Winchester brothers are the last hope for humanity once more. There should be a clause in their contract with heaven, really - a limit to the number of times they can save the world. This is, at least, what Dean said to him before Castiel forced them to go. The angel had to agree.
Etched in his very Grace is the secret of their location. The knowledge fills him with pride and fear - God has chosen him, but if he should fail, the price would be great. Shaking his head, Castiel pushes these thoughts aside and concentrates on his new task:
find Lucifer.
He isn't sure why he's being shuffled from place to place. All he knows is that God spoke to him and gave him these two tasks, and that he must complete them. Find Lucifer. Bring him home.
To bring Lucifer, the first of the fallen, home means a dire situation indeed. It means God has forgiven him. And it means that the hierarchy of the archangels is being restored. Peace will return to heaven. And when there is peace in heaven, so there will be peace on Earth.
And so it is that everything hinges upon to thin and brittle threads:
the grace of Lucifer, and the lives of the Winchesters.
Castiel has never been more terrified in his entire existence. But he has never failed before. And he will not do so now. He scours every inch of the world for his fallen brother, throwing his Grace out to all corners of the world, reaching and hoping frantically until - there! His Grace hits the familiar shock of Lucifer's own Grace, frost bitten and scarred.
But when he goes to his brother, there is no one there.
Immediately, this sets Castiel on edge. He tries to move from the spot, but finds himself frozen, and the human heart of his vessel absorbs the fright pulsing through his grace and begins to beat erratically. Trapped and tricked, he spins around on his feet, searching for the source of what has him. He recognizes it all too late when she steps from the shadows, teeth shining in moonlight.
Mother.
"It is so good to see you, Castiel. I was sad that the last time we met, you'd tried to kill me, so you'll have to excuse the precautions I had to take. You're much stronger than your brother led me to believe." From behind her, Lucifer stand and if Castiel has ever seen shame on the face of an angel, he sees it now. His fallen brother refuses to meet his gaze, instead looking up at the night sky. They are at the mouth of a cave. Castiel feels civilization far beneath them, at the base of the mountain.
"Brother," he moans, attempting to touch Lucifer with his thoughts. But the barrier the Mother has created stops him cold. She smiles.
"He's been quite useful," she says, her tone far too suggestive for Castiel's taste. His stomach churns at the thought his brother, no matter how depraved he's become, lowering himself to the level of this beast, touching her, making love to her, trying to please her. "And he tells me that you probably know where the Winchesters are, considering the three of you are attached at the proverbial hip." She steps very close to Castiel, so close he can feel her breath on his cheek, and it is sweet and sour at once, sending shivers down his spine. She leans closely toward his ear, her lips brushing the skin, and curls an arm around the back of his head, pulling him toward her, lacing her free hand through his fingers.
"You know where they are, don't you, Castiel? If you don't want your brother to know, I understand. I had siblings once. I had a family as you do. Many brothers and sisters. Do you know what I did to them?" He feels her smile. "I killed them. Every last one. Because when you want to become as powerful as I am, you must be willing to destroy all that ties you to your weaknesses. And family is a weakness. Love is a weakness." She pulls back. "You feel love for the Winchesters, don't you? It's alright if you do. They are humans in your charge, you're bound to feel something. But...do you feel love for your brother?" She forces a hand to his face and turns him to look at Lucifer. "He allowed you to fall into my trap. Let me bring you here. What secrets would you ever keep from him? He has no power over you now. He is completely at my service."
"Brother..."
"She pulled me from hell, Castiel. I am in her debt."
"I will not tell you where they are." The Mother frowns, her grip on his face growing tighter. "I...I do not know where they are," he confesses.
"Liar," she hisses, a hand flying to his chest. White-hot pain sears through him, tearing a scream from his throat. "Tell me where they are!" Castiel shakes his head. Again, the pain burns. "Tell me!"
"He's telling the truth! He's...he's telling the truth. Of course he doesn't know. God...our Father. He told you to hide them. Of course he did," Lucifer spits, his expression dark. "Of course he did. But he didn't tell you where. Not directly."
"What are you babbling about?" Mother shrieks, spinning to face him. "You told me he'd know. I trusted you. You said that this pathetic little angel would know where I could find those bumbling idiots, and yet here we are, and no one knows a damn thing."
"He doesn't know," Lucifer insists. "But his Grace does." The Mother turns back to Castiel, her face twisted in a wicked smile that makes Castiel sick once more.
"Oh. Now this is what I call a development." She steps close to Castiel again, her hands trailing slowly down his chest. "Your Grace, angel. How quaint. Clever, really, this God fellow. And how sad. How sad that he can't trust you with this information directly. How sad that I will have to pick you apart to learn what only God knows." Castiel's stomach drops. "Of course, I cannot touch an angel's grace. Even I have my weaknesses. But you..." She turns back to Lucifer. "You can touch him, can't you?"
"I...I don't-"
"Oh, come now!" she spits. "Don't be so cavalier all of a sudden. You have no love in you for your brothers, not even this pathetic little soldier. Come here." Her tone changes quickly and she stretches out a hand for the devil to take. Lucifer hesitates, but finally lets her draw him near. "Do you remember what I promised you?" she asks, voice barely above a whisper. She folds herself into him, letting him pull her close, hands at her waist. "Do you remember what those words sound like?"
"Freedom," Lucifer manages.
"Complete freedom. From me, from God, from Hell...all I have asked is that you do what I tell you to. That you do as I say and ask no questions. Do not hesitate, do not stop."
"But...but his Grace. I-" She stops him with a kiss, deep and unrelenting. Castiel understands the human feeling of nausea very well now. Eventually, they draw away from one another. Some form of communication has occurred, because Lucifer turns to Castiel now with a different look in his eyes. It is not fervor, really, but resignation.
Lucifer is not sorry, and he does not love Castiel, but he places one hand over his brother's chest and leans in close.
"Forgive me, brother."
Mother cackles behind them, clapping her hands.
"I adore family reunions." She stands behind Lucifer, her hands on his sides, and smiles at the both of them. "Tear his Grace apart. Do it, and give me what I want."
To have his Grace shred into pieces is almost the end of Castiel. Before that, he had never known he could feel that sort of pain. Pain that went beyond the physical, beyond the mental, deep down into the recesses of his Grace and deeper, into memories he did not know he had. Lucifer had twisted and pulled and ripped his very being into pieces, digging for God's words, frantically and haphazardly pulling Castiel into pieces.
But he did not find it.
When Castiel comes to, Lucifer is kneeling over him, his face twisted in anger and confusion.
"What have you done with it?" he hisses.
"They are our last hope," Castiel manages.
"Just tell me."
"Brother, what have you done?"
"She will kill me."
"She can't."
"I can, actually. I may not have been able to julienne your Grace, but I can kill you if I want. You don't know what kind of power I have. I'm older than the both of you put together. I'm older than your God, so don't pretend that you know what I'm capable of!" She is screaming now, her voice growing louder, losing herself in her anger. Lucifer stares down at Castiel and what is left of his Grace, what is left of his brother.
"Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?"
"No," Castiel whispers.
"I wouldn't blame you."
Mother is nearly glowing now. She does not have what she wants and the fury that has always managed to stay buried is beginning to surface. As she glows with rage, Castiel feels a familiar, icy tug. Lucifer feels it, too.
I believe we shall take our leave now, my sons.
The last thing Castiel sees before they are pulled away is the Mother's face, twisted and ugly with anger, screaming Lucifer's name. When he opens his eyes, he realizes that they are home. That he has not failed.
The Winchesters are safe.
Castiel has returned his fallen brother to heaven.
For the first time in many years, he sleeps.
rated pg-13 - castiel, lucifer, mother, lucifer/mother - supernatural fic
Any good soldier knows, the word of the captain is final.
When Dean asks, Castiel can hardly say. All he knows is this: hide the Winchesters, protect them.
They are our last hope.
It is the first time his Father has spoken to him, and Castiel must listen. The voice of his Father fills him with awe and dread as it trembles through his Grace to the very core of his being. And there is planted the seed for his actions.
They are our last hope.
Dean hates to be in the dark, and Castiel knows it. Sam swallows and glances at his own chest.
"The sigils won't help you now."
"It's her, isn't it?"
"Has it been anything else these past months?"
"Look, if we're a part of this, then I'm not hiding, Cas. I want to face that bitch, head on."
"You can't. God will not allow it. You are needed in the battle. For now, you must hide."
"Fucking-"
"Dean. Just...let's just go." Sam presses a hand to Dean's shoulder and his brother eases a bit, still fixing Cas with a look of rage that is usually reserved for the angel specifically. Castiel can only urge them to go, to lock themselves away in the location determined by the Lord and remind them not to speak to anyone.
"Do not stop. Do not rest. Do not speak until you are here." He presses the address into Dean's palm.
"Will you be able to find us?"
"If that is what God wishes."
"But you know where we'll be."
"The secret is buried deep within my Grace. I and the Lord are the only two who know of your location. You are protected."
When God came to Castiel, he was sitting with the Winchesters, riding along the interstate, somewhere between Missouri and Arkansas. He felt his Grace grow ice-cold and Dean muttered something about the busted AC in the Impala. Sam swatted his hand away from the controls, but Castiel was already gone. He could feel something wrapping around every thought and there was such wonder in the voice that came to him, he thought he'd die from the beauty.
Castiel.
He knew the voice the moment it spoke. All his years of believing, all his faith - it had given him trust. Trust in his Creator, trust in his Father. He nodded, willing the voice to speak again.
Of my children, you have been one of the most faithful. Time and time again, I have resurrected you and returned you to Earth, so that you may protect your charges. I must ask you this now: hide the Winchesters. Protect them. Keep them safe at whatever cost. Castiel feels a grain of knowledge fill his Grace. Take them here.
They are our last hope.
It should be unsettling, he supposes, that the Winchester brothers are the last hope for humanity once more. There should be a clause in their contract with heaven, really - a limit to the number of times they can save the world. This is, at least, what Dean said to him before Castiel forced them to go. The angel had to agree.
Etched in his very Grace is the secret of their location. The knowledge fills him with pride and fear - God has chosen him, but if he should fail, the price would be great. Shaking his head, Castiel pushes these thoughts aside and concentrates on his new task:
find Lucifer.
He isn't sure why he's being shuffled from place to place. All he knows is that God spoke to him and gave him these two tasks, and that he must complete them. Find Lucifer. Bring him home.
To bring Lucifer, the first of the fallen, home means a dire situation indeed. It means God has forgiven him. And it means that the hierarchy of the archangels is being restored. Peace will return to heaven. And when there is peace in heaven, so there will be peace on Earth.
And so it is that everything hinges upon to thin and brittle threads:
the grace of Lucifer, and the lives of the Winchesters.
Castiel has never been more terrified in his entire existence. But he has never failed before. And he will not do so now. He scours every inch of the world for his fallen brother, throwing his Grace out to all corners of the world, reaching and hoping frantically until - there! His Grace hits the familiar shock of Lucifer's own Grace, frost bitten and scarred.
But when he goes to his brother, there is no one there.
Immediately, this sets Castiel on edge. He tries to move from the spot, but finds himself frozen, and the human heart of his vessel absorbs the fright pulsing through his grace and begins to beat erratically. Trapped and tricked, he spins around on his feet, searching for the source of what has him. He recognizes it all too late when she steps from the shadows, teeth shining in moonlight.
Mother.
"It is so good to see you, Castiel. I was sad that the last time we met, you'd tried to kill me, so you'll have to excuse the precautions I had to take. You're much stronger than your brother led me to believe." From behind her, Lucifer stand and if Castiel has ever seen shame on the face of an angel, he sees it now. His fallen brother refuses to meet his gaze, instead looking up at the night sky. They are at the mouth of a cave. Castiel feels civilization far beneath them, at the base of the mountain.
"Brother," he moans, attempting to touch Lucifer with his thoughts. But the barrier the Mother has created stops him cold. She smiles.
"He's been quite useful," she says, her tone far too suggestive for Castiel's taste. His stomach churns at the thought his brother, no matter how depraved he's become, lowering himself to the level of this beast, touching her, making love to her, trying to please her. "And he tells me that you probably know where the Winchesters are, considering the three of you are attached at the proverbial hip." She steps very close to Castiel, so close he can feel her breath on his cheek, and it is sweet and sour at once, sending shivers down his spine. She leans closely toward his ear, her lips brushing the skin, and curls an arm around the back of his head, pulling him toward her, lacing her free hand through his fingers.
"You know where they are, don't you, Castiel? If you don't want your brother to know, I understand. I had siblings once. I had a family as you do. Many brothers and sisters. Do you know what I did to them?" He feels her smile. "I killed them. Every last one. Because when you want to become as powerful as I am, you must be willing to destroy all that ties you to your weaknesses. And family is a weakness. Love is a weakness." She pulls back. "You feel love for the Winchesters, don't you? It's alright if you do. They are humans in your charge, you're bound to feel something. But...do you feel love for your brother?" She forces a hand to his face and turns him to look at Lucifer. "He allowed you to fall into my trap. Let me bring you here. What secrets would you ever keep from him? He has no power over you now. He is completely at my service."
"Brother..."
"She pulled me from hell, Castiel. I am in her debt."
"I will not tell you where they are." The Mother frowns, her grip on his face growing tighter. "I...I do not know where they are," he confesses.
"Liar," she hisses, a hand flying to his chest. White-hot pain sears through him, tearing a scream from his throat. "Tell me where they are!" Castiel shakes his head. Again, the pain burns. "Tell me!"
"He's telling the truth! He's...he's telling the truth. Of course he doesn't know. God...our Father. He told you to hide them. Of course he did," Lucifer spits, his expression dark. "Of course he did. But he didn't tell you where. Not directly."
"What are you babbling about?" Mother shrieks, spinning to face him. "You told me he'd know. I trusted you. You said that this pathetic little angel would know where I could find those bumbling idiots, and yet here we are, and no one knows a damn thing."
"He doesn't know," Lucifer insists. "But his Grace does." The Mother turns back to Castiel, her face twisted in a wicked smile that makes Castiel sick once more.
"Oh. Now this is what I call a development." She steps close to Castiel again, her hands trailing slowly down his chest. "Your Grace, angel. How quaint. Clever, really, this God fellow. And how sad. How sad that he can't trust you with this information directly. How sad that I will have to pick you apart to learn what only God knows." Castiel's stomach drops. "Of course, I cannot touch an angel's grace. Even I have my weaknesses. But you..." She turns back to Lucifer. "You can touch him, can't you?"
"I...I don't-"
"Oh, come now!" she spits. "Don't be so cavalier all of a sudden. You have no love in you for your brothers, not even this pathetic little soldier. Come here." Her tone changes quickly and she stretches out a hand for the devil to take. Lucifer hesitates, but finally lets her draw him near. "Do you remember what I promised you?" she asks, voice barely above a whisper. She folds herself into him, letting him pull her close, hands at her waist. "Do you remember what those words sound like?"
"Freedom," Lucifer manages.
"Complete freedom. From me, from God, from Hell...all I have asked is that you do what I tell you to. That you do as I say and ask no questions. Do not hesitate, do not stop."
"But...but his Grace. I-" She stops him with a kiss, deep and unrelenting. Castiel understands the human feeling of nausea very well now. Eventually, they draw away from one another. Some form of communication has occurred, because Lucifer turns to Castiel now with a different look in his eyes. It is not fervor, really, but resignation.
Lucifer is not sorry, and he does not love Castiel, but he places one hand over his brother's chest and leans in close.
"Forgive me, brother."
Mother cackles behind them, clapping her hands.
"I adore family reunions." She stands behind Lucifer, her hands on his sides, and smiles at the both of them. "Tear his Grace apart. Do it, and give me what I want."
To have his Grace shred into pieces is almost the end of Castiel. Before that, he had never known he could feel that sort of pain. Pain that went beyond the physical, beyond the mental, deep down into the recesses of his Grace and deeper, into memories he did not know he had. Lucifer had twisted and pulled and ripped his very being into pieces, digging for God's words, frantically and haphazardly pulling Castiel into pieces.
But he did not find it.
When Castiel comes to, Lucifer is kneeling over him, his face twisted in anger and confusion.
"What have you done with it?" he hisses.
"They are our last hope," Castiel manages.
"Just tell me."
"Brother, what have you done?"
"She will kill me."
"She can't."
"I can, actually. I may not have been able to julienne your Grace, but I can kill you if I want. You don't know what kind of power I have. I'm older than the both of you put together. I'm older than your God, so don't pretend that you know what I'm capable of!" She is screaming now, her voice growing louder, losing herself in her anger. Lucifer stares down at Castiel and what is left of his Grace, what is left of his brother.
"Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?"
"No," Castiel whispers.
"I wouldn't blame you."
Mother is nearly glowing now. She does not have what she wants and the fury that has always managed to stay buried is beginning to surface. As she glows with rage, Castiel feels a familiar, icy tug. Lucifer feels it, too.
I believe we shall take our leave now, my sons.
The last thing Castiel sees before they are pulled away is the Mother's face, twisted and ugly with anger, screaming Lucifer's name. When he opens his eyes, he realizes that they are home. That he has not failed.
The Winchesters are safe.
Castiel has returned his fallen brother to heaven.
For the first time in many years, he sleeps.