Glee Drabble (Soulless Automaton)
Title: Soulless Automaton
Rating: K
Pairing: None
Warnings: None
Summary: Jesse's thoughts. Inspired by Jesse in Like A Prayer in the Madonna episode
When he joined New Directions, he had a goal.
Destroy them. And yeah, alright, reunite Rachel with her Long Lost Mom. Back in Vocal Adrenaline he’d been a leader, an Alpha. He controlled the group vocally whereas Shelby was their manager.
In New Directions it was different. A harmony, not just of voices, but of personalities. That Kurt kid had been right. The group shouldn’t work. It really, really shouldn’t. They were all misfits holding onto a far off dream, and an impossible one at that. But as Jesse watched and watched, observing the bonds between them, some fragile, splintered, others as strong as steel, he began to actually worry about the competition.
One of the first songs he sang with the Glee club was a Madonna number, and he’d watched, almost with awe as one by one, first Rachel, and Finn, and then Kurt, with a kiss to Mercedes’ cheek to pass the song on, had sang. As a soulless automaton Jesse had tried to sneer it away. But the emotion, god, the emotion. It was enough to bring out a feeling of wistfulness.
To actually belong to this group, to be accepted, he knew he could do it if he wanted. He could have Rachel, joke with Finn, practice numbers with Artie, Kurt and Mike. Watch sports with Matt and Puck. He could belong.
Only he couldn’t. Not really. Because Jesse has only ever been a soulless automaton. And that is all Jesse will ever be.