I think what she doesn't like is the spending on my lolita tendancies... lol $150 on a dress could by like... 75 dresses at Good Will... Shes more okay with what I ALREADY have because she hasn't seen what I've spent on it... it's what I could or am going to spend that frightens her. lol
If dressing up makes her uncomfortable you could try including lolita elements without the full outfit... Maybe you could find super cheap second hand prints and make vests out of them? Even just the back panel could be made out of a border print tote bag or a printed tote bag. Then, she could wear her natural wardrobe everywhere else without feeling too uncomfortable. If you don't know how to sew vest patterns are usually super cheap $1-$2.50 and they are simple to execute.
Otherwise I would say try to brainstorm ways of including her without focusing on clothing such as picking which events she is excited about attending or if she has another hobby you could incorporate into what you wear.
Thanks! But I don't think its the dressing up, I think its the frills... She wears tons of vests, and button ups, ties, and I'm slowly working her into wearing bow-ties. I like the cheaper prints into vests ideas is a good one since she already wears them. And it might be easier since I dont wear a whole lot of Fairy Kei or Sweet... even if I'm trying to open myself up to it. lol
Sometimes just dressing nicely makes someone look more appropriate at meetups. It doesn't need to be lolita specific clothing. You said she likes vintage fashion and is butch? Why not ask her if she wants to wear a suit. A well tailored suit looks good on pretty much everyone and there are a lot of very timeless color combinations for them that make them easily reworn for a number of events. It also might be more comfortable for her. Also a sharp hat can do wonders like a regular fedora or a trilby. If it's hot out she could go with a linen suit and a boater.
Of course I have no idea what your spending limits are for this. But it's surprising what you can get sometimes on sale or at resale shops when on a budget.
If she leans butch and is into 20s/30s, I would definitely recommend a Dapper look, which would pair ever so nicely with a lolita look, I think! I think she'd 'fit in' at meets that way, without having to partake of said frills herself. It sounds like she probably has a lot of stuff to use with that look already; just take it one step more historical. Google and plenty of blogs have examples of the style.
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Otherwise I would say try to brainstorm ways of including her without focusing on clothing such as picking which events she is excited about attending or if she has another hobby you could incorporate into what you wear.
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Of course I have no idea what your spending limits are for this. But it's surprising what you can get sometimes on sale or at resale shops when on a budget.
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