on insecurity
it's something that everyone has to deal with. for some, a thing that represents a lifelong struggle. why is it such a big deal? because we all know that, no matter how you look or how skilled you are at something, there is always someone you can point at and say 'they're better'.
insecurity as a personal issue only exists when we have an attitude that is comparative, by which i mean a self-judging process that uses another individual as a standard.
when i look at great musicians and their work (ex: Beethoven), it is impossible to feel that my own work is adequate. when i look at physically beautiful people (ex: Brad Pitt), it is impossible to feel that my own body is adequate. that's how it works, right? but there are questions. what is meant by adequate? doesn't the use of these words presuppose a comparative attitude?
it is about consent. there is a choice that is made, often very early in life and very quietly, to consent to the viewpoint of the masses, or of whoever speaks for them, and adopt their attitudes. there can be no arguing the point that society's attitude is highly comparative. everywhere there are lists of the 'top 10 most beautiful people' or the 'top 50 most eligible bachelors' or whatever.
so what happens when consent is not given?
can we, creatures of flesh that we are, rise above the faceless multitudes and declare, proudly, "I will not allow your thinking to shape my opinion of myself"?
yes, we can. the quiet choice can be reversed, the implicit consent can be revoked. but can we do it, in reality, in the daily rollercoaster of our lives?
maybe. i'll have to get back to you on that one.
i tried to think of reasons that we want to be better-looking, more educated, more athletic, and could come up with only one answer (granted this is from my essentially male point of view) - to attract a mate. because if we are all really and truly in competition with our peer class, the only way to stand out is to be the fastest, the smartest, the best-looking. Darwin's evolutionary imperative in effect.
prove me wrong. even if the quality that is desired is simple personal compatability and not superficial in any way, the silver dollar goes to the one with the most of it. of course, usually, the desired qualities are poorly articulated and we can't say exactly WHAT we want, or even IF.
destroy insecurity. the only place it exists is in your mind, so rip it out and stomp it to death. easier said than done, yes. but what a relief it would be to never feel inadequate again.
one thing i will say is unequivocal fact; insecurity is a thing inside us that we did not put there. so it must be examined, at the very least. don't you agree?
insecurity as a personal issue only exists when we have an attitude that is comparative, by which i mean a self-judging process that uses another individual as a standard.
when i look at great musicians and their work (ex: Beethoven), it is impossible to feel that my own work is adequate. when i look at physically beautiful people (ex: Brad Pitt), it is impossible to feel that my own body is adequate. that's how it works, right? but there are questions. what is meant by adequate? doesn't the use of these words presuppose a comparative attitude?
it is about consent. there is a choice that is made, often very early in life and very quietly, to consent to the viewpoint of the masses, or of whoever speaks for them, and adopt their attitudes. there can be no arguing the point that society's attitude is highly comparative. everywhere there are lists of the 'top 10 most beautiful people' or the 'top 50 most eligible bachelors' or whatever.
so what happens when consent is not given?
can we, creatures of flesh that we are, rise above the faceless multitudes and declare, proudly, "I will not allow your thinking to shape my opinion of myself"?
yes, we can. the quiet choice can be reversed, the implicit consent can be revoked. but can we do it, in reality, in the daily rollercoaster of our lives?
maybe. i'll have to get back to you on that one.
i tried to think of reasons that we want to be better-looking, more educated, more athletic, and could come up with only one answer (granted this is from my essentially male point of view) - to attract a mate. because if we are all really and truly in competition with our peer class, the only way to stand out is to be the fastest, the smartest, the best-looking. Darwin's evolutionary imperative in effect.
prove me wrong. even if the quality that is desired is simple personal compatability and not superficial in any way, the silver dollar goes to the one with the most of it. of course, usually, the desired qualities are poorly articulated and we can't say exactly WHAT we want, or even IF.
destroy insecurity. the only place it exists is in your mind, so rip it out and stomp it to death. easier said than done, yes. but what a relief it would be to never feel inadequate again.
one thing i will say is unequivocal fact; insecurity is a thing inside us that we did not put there. so it must be examined, at the very least. don't you agree?