Yay I have my Belle & Sebastian christmas music :D man i love music.............."Judy is a Dick Slap."

i feel like crap right now, i've been deserted by everybody that i know in AZ, they all have better people than me to hang out with.

i guess i am a shitty person, i just didn't think i was that bad. when will i grow up? whay can't i get my shit together?

so today i had to come back to AZ because i couldn't get anybody to take my shift at midnight, it turns out that the guy i asked to do it showed up anyway and i could've gone to church and hung out with people longer and left tommorow. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGIN A! i really wanted to go to church :( ...... so now i'm here at work, oh well.

i guess it really is over over, cuz you don't seem to give a flying fuck. i am sorry that i am hurting though, i really am.

sometimes i wish i was born in the early 60's, i don't really know why other than the music but i think it would have been nice. not that i don't like now, i just wonder sometimes. holy heck i forgot i was writing this, ok so an hour later.......i think i ate some bad chinese food.......

if i had cable/dsl that would be bad cuz then i would just spend all my time tending mass downloads.

i have the flu and i look like crap. i guess i don't have anything else to talk about right now. so ta ta.

i wrote an entry but i deleted it because it would have been false until i find out one thing, and i hope it's what i want to hear.

I have recently purchased a new bike and i'm so happy, i've been away from one for too long. it's the only form of physical exercise that i get excited about, my bike has filled a void that i didn't know was there. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy.

also i am now in evening classes, i go 6:20-11pm, now i can get all the sleep i need in one sitting.

i feel so blank, i can't seem to think of how i feel about things or express that i care or don't care. i don't like work anymore, and i don't like to go to school. what the hell am i supposed to do with my future if i don't like the one i'm going to school for, i can't leave now, my parents have spent too much for me to quit, it's a no win